Spectacularly dumb restaurant customers

Re: Spectacularly dumb restaurant customers

• VulgarGirl member

  

  January 2015

  My friend is currently GF because her doctor told her to avoid gluten for awhile to see if that helped her with some of her possible thyroid issues.

  
  

  Now, she has not actually been diagnosed with a thyroid problem, just told maybe she has a thyroid issue and they'd like to do some more in depth testing (she has not done this testing, it's been 6 months). And they wanted her to try eating gluten free to see if that helped anything. Basically, we're gonna try some stuff while we try to figure out what your issues are (she's a hypochondriac). 

  
  

  According to her being GF has changed her life and if she looks at gluten she'll become deathly ill. Still not sure she knows what gluten is. Also, I saw the way she ate before going GF and the way she eats now and I don't think it's the gluten that was the problem. She just had really shitty eating habits. But she says being GF cured her thyroid problem. 

  
  

  She's also been lactose intolerent and had diabetes. All for like 6-12 months. Her medical problems often go away on their own...science should study her.

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• novella1186 member

  

  January 2015

  MagicInk said:

  My friend is currently GF because her doctor told her to avoid gluten for awhile to see if that helped her with some of her possible thyroid issues.

  
  

  Now, she has not actually been diagnosed with a thyroid problem, just told maybe she has a thyroid issue and they'd like to do some more in depth testing (she has not done this testing, it's been 6 months). And they wanted her to try eating gluten free to see if that helped anything. Basically, we're gonna try some stuff while we try to figure out what your issues are (she's a hypochondriac). 

  
  

  According to her being GF has changed her life and if she looks at gluten she'll become deathly ill. Still not sure she knows what gluten is. Also, I saw the way she ate before going GF and the way she eats now and I don't think it's the gluten that was the problem. She just had really shitty eating habits. But she says being GF cured her thyroid problem. 

  
  

  She's also been lactose intolerent and had diabetes. All for like 6-12 months. Her medical problems often go away on their own...science should study her.

  Lol I have a friend like this! I actually don't talk to her anymore because it's too exhausting. She ordered multiple sleep studies on herself, in expensive specialized clinics out of town, as well as multiple heart scans (in her early 20s with no genetic heart issues in the family) because she was once short of breath. So her heart is failing. She also had neurological studies done. The more all these tests and scans came back fine, the more she decided she had such a severe illness that it couldn't possibly be detected by tests. Oh and she has lupus. And skin cancer (even though all the biopsies she has demanded have come back fine and her dermatologist told her to stop ordering biopsies of totally normal freckles) 

  
  

  She also called 911 and asked them to send an ambulance because she had accidentally taken 2 Zantac (heartburn pills) instead of 1. She was outraged that the dispatcher laughed and refused to send an ambulance because it wasn't a real overdose. I told friend that when I was having heartburn issues, I ate Zantac like candy and never died from "overdosing." She said she's more sensitive to drugs than I am so they effect her more. Ok. 

  

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• VulgarGirl member

  

  January 2015

  @novella1186 Oh lord child, no I could not deal with that.

  
  

  Luckily my friend isn't that bad. She wants to have issues, but stops short of actually getting tested to see if she has the issue. So she bought lactate pills from Walgreens and a blood sugar monitor, but wouldn't actually go get an A1C test to determine if she had diabetes. 

  
  

  Though she had to quit a job once because it was "too stressful" and her proof was that she got sick at work one day and felt really dizzy. She had the flu. Like a real medical doctor said  "You have the flu" and she was like "Oh, ok, so I'm stressed and have anxiety disorder and need to quit my job" is what she heard. I don't...I don't even know how that works.

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• JennyColada member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  lyndausvi said:

  When we lived in the islands DH was yelled out for not having ORGANIC LOCAL STRAWBERRIES.  Because you know, strawberries are indigenous to the islands.

  
  

  Oh and they would say "oh I want the salmon.  I love having locally caught fish."  Yeah, okay, someone doesn't know where salmon come from.

  
  

  
  

  /face palm/

  Every time someone asked me where the tuna came from in our tuna salad I was always so tempted to say "I'm not sure, let me check the can." just to be a jerk.

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• jenna8984 member

  

  January 2015

  @magicink hahahah she would get along with my friend. The girl got drunk one night and jumped off a pool table and sprained her ankle. She called her work and said she couldn't come in for A WEEK because she had to stay off her foot. I was like 1. you sit at a desk all day. 2. It's a fucking sprain- I have played full soccer games and run 5k's with a sprain.

                                                                   

  
  

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• VulgarGirl member

  

  January 2015

  jenna8984 said:

  @magicink hahahah she would get along with my friend. The girl got drunk one night and jumped off a pool table and sprained her ankle. She called her work and said she couldn't come in for A WEEK because she had to stay off her foot. I was like 1. you sit at a desk all day. 2. It's a fucking sprain- I have played full soccer games and run 5k's with a sprain.

  I think I've hired her....

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• amelisha member

  

  January 2015

  The gluten thing in my understanding: lots of people with digestive issues seem to benefit from a FODMAP diet, which eliminates a ton of things including wheat, barley, and rye. But it's not actually the gluten that is causing the problems in this case. From what I've read, that appears to be why so many seem to see anecdotal improvement once they go "gluten-free". So it's not actually a gluten sensitivity but more of a problem with short-chain carbohydrates for some IBS sufferers. So people with IBS-type symptoms who say they feel better on a gluten-free diet aren't totally out to lunch on that, but it's still probably not actually a gluten sensitivity or intolerance.

  
  

  Back to your regularly scheduled stupid customers thread and enough with my vaguely understood pop science.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• JCbride2015 member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  PrettyGirlLost said:

  
  

  novella1186 said:

  
  

  
  

  flutteringinftmyers said:

  
  

  
  

  levioosa said:

  
  

  Gluten and dairy are often in a lot of places they shouldn't be with processed food, so I get someone who is truly allergic asking about it.  (Why the hell is there dairy in my taco seasoning?!)  That being said, people who are truly allergic know all about which foods they can and cannot eat, so asking a dumb question like "does this hot dog bun contain gluten" wouldn't even happen.  I have friends who are allergic to gluten, and it's not cute for them, it's life threatening.  If someone bullshits them at a restaurant and gives them food that's been in contact with gluten, they end up in the hospital.  As such, they don't eat out much.  Then there's SO's Mom who swears that she is gluten intolerant but she'll eat pizza and say, "I'll just take a pill for it."  Um, there isn't a pill for it.  Or a cure.  *face palm*
  
  Sometimes I miss the pace of working in a restaurant, but then I read stuff like this and I don't miss it at all.
  

  
  

  My dad went gluten free for awhile and if he couldn't avoid gluten (or just didn't feel like it) he had some kind of pill that he crushed over the food and claimed that it "neutralized" the gluten. I'm pretty sure it was all bullshit. He must have been sick of it too, because all it took to convince him to start eating gluten again was to send him an internet article I found saying unless you have Celiac, gluten-free is pretty much a waste of time and money.

  
  

  You don't have to have Celiac, you could also just have an intolerance. It's not life-threatening but it's the same as any other intolerance (such as lactose intolerance) where you get severe stomach cramps, pain, you get sick, etc etc. 

  
  

  But yeah if you have no legit allergy and no intolerance, then not eating gluten is pointless. 

  
  
  
  Actually research is proving this to be false. . . which is what many physicians have been saying all along.
  
  http://www.forbes.com/sites/rosspomeroy/2014/05/15/non-celiac-gluten-sensitivity-may-not-exist/
  
  People who don't have celiac disease but claim to be gluten intolerant are likely FODMAP intolerant.
  
  
  Yeah, this. Gluten intolerance is not a medical thing.

  
  
  ETA: Celiac is very real, of course.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  
  

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• sophhabobopha member

  

  January 2015

  I once had a woman order a chicken bacon ranch wrap without bacon because she was 'vegan'.

  
  

  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  January 2015

  
  

  sophhabobopha said:

  I once had a woman order a chicken bacon ranch wrap without bacon because she was 'vegan'.

  
  

  But, but, bacon was the best part if that sandwich!!!!!!!
  
  She should have skipped the chicken because she was Vegan!
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• VulgarGirl member

  

  January 2015

  sophhabobopha said:

  I once had a woman order a chicken bacon ranch wrap without bacon because she was 'vegan'.

  
  

  Chicken is totally a vegetable.

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  January 2015

  Okay, I'm watching Bizzard Foods right now.  They are in a Penis restaurant in China.  Everything is made from penises of animals.

  
  

  I'm pretty sure I would be a spectacularly dumb customer there.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  January 2015

  lyndausvi said:

  Okay, I'm watching Bizzard Foods right now.  They are in a Penis restaurant in China.  Everything is made from penises of animals.

  
  

  I'm pretty sure I would be a spectacularly dumb customer there.

  I. . . what the. . . I just. . .
  
  Ew, just fucking ew.
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• amelisha member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  I thought of my other frequent favourite: ladies ordering the Zinfandel (listed under the red wines...because it's a red wine) and when I would clarify (because it happened so often) "Just to confirm, you are looking for a red wine, not a rose?" they would invariably look disgusted and say "What? Zinfandel is pink!" 

  
  

  No, ladies. No. White Zinfandel is pink. And it's listed with the other cougar juices in their own cougar juice section of the menu. If you want the pink crap, the $80 Zinfandel listed with the California reds is not what you want. And I am politely trying to save you from ordering a fairly expensive wine that you're going to hate.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  January 2015

  Cougar juice- LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• sophhabobopha member

  

  January 2015

  PrettyGirlLost said:

  
  

  sophhabobopha said:

  I once had a woman order a chicken bacon ranch wrap without bacon because she was 'vegan'.

  
  

  But, but, bacon was the best part if that sandwich!!!!!!!
  
  She should have skipped the chicken because she was Vegan!
  

  qft!

  

  Report0 Reply
• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  January 2015

  sophhabobopha said:

  PrettyGirlLost said:

  
  

  sophhabobopha said:

  I once had a woman order a chicken bacon ranch wrap without bacon because she was 'vegan'.

  
  

  But, but, bacon was the best part if that sandwich!!!!!!!
  
  She should have skipped the chicken because she was Vegan!
  

  qft!

  Your avatar pic makes me want to binge watch Portlandia.
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8SjkDq2ZwI
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

  Report2 Reply
• flutteringinfl member

  

  January 2015

  lyndausvi said:

  Okay, I'm watching Bizzard Foods right now.  They are in a Penis restaurant in China.  Everything is made from penises of animals.

  
  

  I'm pretty sure I would be a spectacularly dumb customer there.

  "Penis sandwich...hold the penis."

  

  
  

  
  

  Report5 Reply
• sophhabobopha member

  

  January 2015

  PrettyGirlLost said:

  sophhabobopha said:

  PrettyGirlLost said:

  
  

  sophhabobopha said:

  I once had a woman order a chicken bacon ranch wrap without bacon because she was 'vegan'.

  
  

  But, but, bacon was the best part if that sandwich!!!!!!!
  
  She should have skipped the chicken because she was Vegan!
  

  qft!

  Your avatar pic makes me want to binge watch Portlandia.
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8SjkDq2ZwI
  

  
  

  

  Report1 Reply
• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  January 2015

  flutteringinftmyers said:

  lyndausvi said:

  Okay, I'm watching Bizzard Foods right now.  They are in a Penis restaurant in China.  Everything is made from penises of animals.

  
  

  I'm pretty sure I would be a spectacularly dumb customer there.

  "Penis sandwich...hold the penis."

  Excuse me, but is that schlong gluten free?  Do you have any organic dick?
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• NowIAmSyp member

  

  January 2015

  amelisha said:

  I thought of my other frequent favourite: ladies ordering the Zinfandel (listed under the red wines...because it's a red wine) and when I would clarify (because it happened so often) "Just to confirm, you are looking for a red wine, not a rose?" they would invariably look disgusted and say "What? Zinfandel is pink!" 

  
  

  No, ladies. No. White Zinfandel is pink. And it's listed with the other cougar juices in their own cougar juice section of the menu. If you want the pink crap, the $80 Zinfandel listed with the California reds is not what you want. And I am politely trying to save you from ordering a fairly expensive wine that you're going to hate.

  
  

  
  

  OMG- "cougar juice."  Amazing.  Lol! 

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• morewineplease member

  

  January 2015

  MagicInk said:

  jenna8984 said:

  @magicink hahahah she would get along with my friend. The girl got drunk one night and jumped off a pool table and sprained her ankle. She called her work and said she couldn't come in for A WEEK because she had to stay off her foot. I was like 1. you sit at a desk all day. 2. It's a fucking sprain- I have played full soccer games and run 5k's with a sprain.

  I think I've hired her....

  OMG This could almost be my boss (but he is a guy). He injured his ankle and was on medical leave for 6 weeks! Because he had to elevate his foot and that is not possible sitting at your desk all day.

  

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• larrygaga member

  

  January 2015

  Yeah usually if you hear someone go 

  
  

  "Does that have ____ in it? I am allergic to ___"

  
  

  they are full of shit. People with allergies know what has it and what doesn't, and if they are unsure they just pick something else instead of asking. They don't want to be a PITA, unlike these fucking hippies.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• JennyColada member

  

  January 2015

  amelisha said:

  I thought of my other frequent favourite: ladies ordering the Zinfandel (listed under the red wines...because it's a red wine) and when I would clarify (because it happened so often) "Just to confirm, you are looking for a red wine, not a rose?" they would invariably look disgusted and say "What? Zinfandel is pink!" 

  
  

  No, ladies. No. White Zinfandel is pink. And it's listed with the other cougar juices in their own cougar juice section of the menu. If you want the pink crap, the $80 Zinfandel listed with the California reds is not what you want. And I am politely trying to save you from ordering a fairly expensive wine that you're going to hate.

  
  

  
  

  This happened to me ALL THE TIME when I worked at the gastopub.

  
  

  "I want a glass of zinfandel."

  Me: "Red or white?"

  "Uh...the pink one?"

  
  

  *facepalm*

  Report3 Reply
• jennyleigh16 member

  

  January 2015

  I spent a few years working as a banquet server and I can't tell you how many times someone said they had an allergy, so you bring out the alternative and they look at it and ask why theirs if different. "This is the gluten-free/vegan/ whatever option" "oh.... Well can I have what he's having?" "That's not the ____ option." "Oh that's okay! Just bring me what he has!" Ugh. Try that twice per table when you're trying to serve 300 entrees while your manager yells at you for taking so long. I have zero patience for people who claim to have allergies and then change their minds when they see how good the regular meal looks.

  

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• JennyColada member

  

  January 2015

  This is slightly unrelated, but I HATE when menus list something as "garlic aioli". No shit. Aioli is mayonnaise that has garlic in it. That's like saying ATM machine.

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  January 2015

  This is how I feel about White Zinfandel. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

  Report9 Reply
• velvethelicopters member

  

  January 2015

  Back in my years of working McDonald's - hey, decent enough pay, night shift with college, cheap food, I was broke - I was shift supervisor and was back fixing something. Manager was trying to leave. It's Lent, so McNastyFish is on the menu. I get called up for an irate customer.
  
  He wanted his Quarter Pounder with Cheese medium rare and his tuna rare. I just looked at him and started laughing. Manager comes up. Customer repeats his demands. Manager starts laughing. I finally got out that this is McDonald's, everything best be cooked to well done. If he wanted rare meat, he could head to *expensive local restaurant*. He was displeased to say the least.
  
  So he called corporate. Who called franchise owner. Corporate was laughing. Franchise owner spent the next 4 years with the medium rare burger gag on any new employee. Last I heard, the joke still happens.

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• novella1186 member

  

  January 2015

  So I used to be a Hooters girl when I was in college. My only experience with white zinfandel was when this mom brought her little boy (like toddler age) to have lunch and ordered glass after glass after glass of white zin. She looked miserable the entire time and just downed that wine like nobody's business. I witnessed some odd things in the short time I worked there, but that one really sticks in my memory. Why would you come to Hooters to drink wine? Better yet, why would you come to Hooters at all? The food was fucking awful. And why would you bring your toddler there?
  

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  January 2015 edited June 2015

  
  

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