Ok does this seem inappropriate to anyone else?

steph861 · January 2015

ohannabelle said:

I'm squeamish, not prudish. Please, no. Birth is beautiful blah blah whatever, don't want to see the baby covered with your vaginal secretions.

Ohmygod, we were at a friends house and they asked if we wanted to see their new baby album, and I said oh of course, how sweet, and then holy shit.
Album of birth. Wide open gaping bloody hoohaw with head hanging out. Souvenir placenta shots. Kill me.
And yet, in a weirder than weird logic I will never understand, in every picture, her husband is holding a neat little square of clean gauze over her asshole. Because they're maintaining some effed up standard of modesty? Because they want to shield our eyes from anything gross?

Horror. I wish I had pictures of my face. That must have been the most strained polite smile in history.
God. No.

I laughed out loud in my cubicle when I read this. Amazing. Horrifying, but amazing.

sarahufl · January 2015

nope. wash it first.

I have also seen baby's first poop in the potty on FB.

Know what that does? Gets you blocked. ASAP.

themuffinman16 · January 2015

I saw a friend's pics, on facebook, immediately after giving birth, with her legs in the stirrups with a sheet draped over her legs, but her legs were still showing. It was obvioous they were waiting for the afterbirth, because the baby had just come out. I am thinking... Damn... nobody needs to think about that. Just no. There are reasons why animal eat the afterbirth.... probably so the rest of it's friends don't have to look at it or think about it, and all of the animals can pretend it never happened. Ew.

KatieinBkln · January 2015

themuffinman16 said:

I saw a friend's pics with her legs in the stirrups with a sheet draped over her legs, but her legs were still showing. It was obvioous they were waiting for the afterbirth, because the baby had just come out. I am thinking... Damn... nobody needs to think about that. Just no. There are reasons why animal eat the afterbirth.... probably so the rest of it's friends don't have to look at it or think about it, and all of the animals can pretend it never happened. Ew.

I actually LOL'd.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

hellohkb · January 2015

I like to tell myself, "Oh no! It's totally not gross, birth is so wonderful!" but it's pretty fucking disgusting to post those on Facebook.

themuffinman16 · January 2015

pinkrevenge said:

themuffinman16 said:

I saw a friend's pics with her legs in the stirrups with a sheet draped over her legs, but her legs were still showing. It was obvioous they were waiting for the afterbirth, because the baby had just come out. I am thinking... Damn... nobody needs to think about that. Just no. There are reasons why animal eat the afterbirth.... probably so the rest of it's friends don't have to look at it or think about it, and all of the animals can pretend it never happened. Ew.

I had a friend who ate the afterbirth. I was like "Why? You live in a magical world where vitamins exist and bears aren't coming for you."

And then she dried out the cord into fucking birth-jerky and framed it.

Lmao. That is so crazy. Double Ew

sophhabobopha · January 2015

Why would you even want pictures that soon? Babies are ugly as hell for at least an hour.

sophhabobopha · January 2015

pinkrevenge said:

themuffinman16 said:

I saw a friend's pics with her legs in the stirrups with a sheet draped over her legs, but her legs were still showing. It was obvioous they were waiting for the afterbirth, because the baby had just come out. I am thinking... Damn... nobody needs to think about that. Just no. There are reasons why animal eat the afterbirth.... probably so the rest of it's friends don't have to look at it or think about it, and all of the animals can pretend it never happened. Ew.

I had a friend who ate the afterbirth. I was like "Why? You live in a magical world where vitamins exist and bears aren't coming for you."

And then she dried out the cord into fucking birth-jerky and framed it.

levioosa · January 2015

Not a fan. I've eaten lunch while watching dissections, but I still don't want to see your goopy baby on my newsfeed. No unsolicited goopy babies!

In the "I need therapy" vein, I accidentally stumbled upon my birth photo album at my Grandma's by accident once when I was a teenager. It looked so innocuous and cute, but then I opened it and BAM, my Mom's bloody vagina with me crowning out of it. God no. Please God no. Why? WHY MOM, WHY?

There will be no pictures of my business when I have kids.

ETA: I should clarify that when I saw it was my birth photo album, I didn't expect it to be so literal. I thought it would be cute newborn pictures, and my Mom holding me after labor and stuff. I was so wrong.

lacqueredlover · January 2015

I am very adamant that your sonogram and your bloody baby have NO place on facebook. Keep that shit to yourselves or maybe super close family and even then, I probably wouldn't want to see it without being asked first.

ALSO, perhaps spend time bonding with your new baby rather than posting a pic to facebook.

maeday2 · January 2015

This thread is making it really hard for me to enjoy the "favorite snack" thread at the same time.

hellosweetie1015 · January 2015

FUCK NO. That's not okay. Hell, I don't wanna see MY future baby(ies) like that ever; give em to me tidy and clean and cuddleable. What the actual fuck makes you think I would wanna see YOURS like that?

thisismynickname2 · January 2015

JennyColada said:

So something just popped up on my FB news feed: one of my friends had her baby! Yay! We posted some pics... One of which must have been SHORTLY after the birth because the baby is still all goopy and bloody.

So, granted, I don't really find newborn babies to be all that cute anyway and tons of things about childbirth make me feel uncomfortable (I don't even really like breastfeeding pictures...). So I am being overly touchy or is this a little bit of an overshare to anyone else?

By all means, post pictures of your newborn baby, but can you at least wait until they wipe him off?

I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WAY.

VulgarGirl · January 2015

pinkrevenge said:

themuffinman16 said:

I saw a friend's pics with her legs in the stirrups with a sheet draped over her legs, but her legs were still showing. It was obvioous they were waiting for the afterbirth, because the baby had just come out. I am thinking... Damn... nobody needs to think about that. Just no. There are reasons why animal eat the afterbirth.... probably so the rest of it's friends don't have to look at it or think about it, and all of the animals can pretend it never happened. Ew.

I had a friend who ate the afterbirth. I was like "Why? You live in a magical world where vitamins exist and bears aren't coming for you."

And then she dried out the cord into fucking birth-jerky and framed it.

My wife, whom I love, is planning a home birth and afterwards she's going to have the placenta encapsulated and take the pills. She thought eating it was "too yucky"...she's not a crunchy person usually. I buy natural home cleaning products and she bitches she likes the chemicals. But all of a sudden, giving birth, she's getting all hippy up on me.

We are doing nothing with the cord. I've drawn the line in that sand. It will not be artwork in our house.

VulgarGirl · January 2015

sophhabobopha said:

Why would you even want pictures that soon? Babies are ugly as hell for at least an hour.

For real. I have no desire to take a picture of the baby right after it's born. We can wait a little bit. It's not going to disapperar or anything.

thisismynickname2 · January 2015

@pinkrevenge I thought that was an urban legend or the stuff of Shut the Fuck Up Parents blog.

Damn.

JennyColada · January 2015

pinkrevenge said:

themuffinman16 said:

I saw a friend's pics with her legs in the stirrups with a sheet draped over her legs, but her legs were still showing. It was obvioous they were waiting for the afterbirth, because the baby had just come out. I am thinking... Damn... nobody needs to think about that. Just no. There are reasons why animal eat the afterbirth.... probably so the rest of it's friends don't have to look at it or think about it, and all of the animals can pretend it never happened. Ew.

I had a friend who ate the afterbirth. I was like "Why? You live in a magical world where vitamins exist and bears aren't coming for you."

And then she dried out the cord into fucking birth-jerky and framed it.

lacqueredlover · January 2015

MagicInk said:

sophhabobopha said:

Why would you even want pictures that soon? Babies are ugly as hell for at least an hour.

For real. I have no desire to take a picture of the baby right after it's born. We can wait a little bit. It's not going to disapperar or anything.

I mean even if you have a c-section and the baby isn't all squished, lets be serious, most newborns look like aliens for the first few weeks.

FutureMrsN3312 · January 2015

Most babies are not cute when first born. I obviously will think mine is (or at least try to convince myself that he/she is cute).

Over these past weeks I have given DH some strict picture taking rules:

1. The kid needs to be cleaned and not naked.

2. No pics of the "during".

3. No pics below my belly at any given time.

4. No pics of me looking like death.

5. Just stay by my head at all times.

wrigleyville · January 2015

I am DYING over the term "birth-jerky". That is hilarious.

kaitlynmichelle · January 2015

A FB friend posted pictures of herself giving birth and afterwards. Goop covered baby and then shots of her getting stitches because she tore. And she's obviously in horrible pain in the pictures. WHY.

Another friend posted a picture of her kid's dollhouse once. I thought aww how cute until I saw the kid had shit herself and hidden it in said dollhouse. WHY?!

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

pinkrevenge said:

themuffinman16 said:

I saw a friend's pics with her legs in the stirrups with a sheet draped over her legs, but her legs were still showing. It was obvioous they were waiting for the afterbirth, because the baby had just come out. I am thinking... Damn... nobody needs to think about that. Just no. There are reasons why animal eat the afterbirth.... probably so the rest of it's friends don't have to look at it or think about it, and all of the animals can pretend it never happened. Ew.

I had a friend who ate the afterbirth. I was like "Why? You live in a magical world where vitamins exist and bears aren't coming for you."

And then she dried out the cord into fucking birth-jerky and framed it.

Not enough fuck nopes in the world for this. . . .

ashley8918 · January 2015

kaitlynmichelle said:

A FB friend posted pictures of herself giving birth and afterwards. Goop covered baby and then shots of her getting stitches because she tore. And she's obviously in horrible pain in the pictures. WHY. Another friend posted a picture of her kid's dollhouse once. I thought aww how cute until I saw the kid had shit herself and hidden it in said dollhouse. WHY?!

OH. OH. I forgot! I had a Facebook friend (old high school acquaintance) once post a selfie, A SELFIE, that she took while she was fucking pushing. It looked like a picture of her facial expression while she was shitting an actual brick. Make that several, connected bricks.

FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, WHY?

P.S. We are not Facebook friends anymore. Plot Twist! ... Except totally not.

cupcait927 · January 2015

levioosa said:

Not a fan. I've eaten lunch while watching dissections, but I still don't want to see your goopy baby on my newsfeed. No unsolicited goopy babies!

In the "I need therapy" vein, I accidentally stumbled upon my birth photo album at my Grandma's by accident once when I was a teenager. It looked so innocuous and cute, but then I opened it and BAM, my Mom's bloody vagina with me crowning out of it. God no. Please God no. Why? WHY MOM, WHY?

There will be no pictures of my business when I have kids.

ETA: I should clarify that when I saw it was my birth photo album, I didn't expect it to be so literal. I thought it would be cute newborn pictures, and my Mom holding me after labor and stuff. I was so wrong.

Funny story similar to yours about my sister birthing my nephew and my mom. My mom was in the delivery room with my sister and snapping all kinds of pictures with my sister's camera so that my sister would have it documented. Baby was born, appropriate pictures were posted on Facebook, all was well.

Fast forward a couple of years and my then boyfriend wants to frame a few pictures of my nephew as a birthday present for me. He asks my sister to borrow her camera so he can pick a few to have printed. She obliges and I get cute, framed pictures of my sweet little boy on my birthday.

A couple of weeks later, then BF asks me to return my sister's camera to her as he cannot face her to do it himself. Turns out, the camera still had pictures from my nephew's birth and my poor boyfriend had gotten an eyeful of my nephew crowning, along with a handful of other pics of my nephew being born, bodily fluids and lady bits abound. He was probably scarred for life.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

themuffinman16 said:

I saw a friend's pics, on facebook, immediately after giving birth, with her legs in the stirrups with a sheet draped over her legs, but her legs were still showing. It was obvioous they were waiting for the afterbirth, because the baby had just come out. I am thinking... Damn... nobody needs to think about that. Just no. There are reasons why animal eat the afterbirth.... probably so the rest of it's friends don't have to look at it or think about it, and all of the animals can pretend it never happened. Ew.

Animals eat their placentas 1. to clean up any evidence of birth to prevent predators from killing the baby they just spent a fuckton of personal resources gestating and 2. because they just spent of fuckton of personal resources gestating and they need to attempt to recoup some of that lost energy for survival.

Human beings have fast through drive throughs and vitamins and drugs in order to recoup all that lost energy- don't eat your placentas, ladeis ><

mrsdee15 · January 2015

Just nope. All of it. Nope to gooey baby pictures on Facebook, nope to pictures of a baby coming out on Facebook, and fuckingnopenopenope to any sort of birth jerky.

ETA: This thread is both horrifying and hysterical, it's making my day.

fwtx5815 · January 2015

sophhabobopha said:
Why would you even want pictures that soon? Babies are ugly as hell for at least an hour.

Heard that. I also have a hard time with the lying part of congratulatory messages- "he/she is so beautiful!" when the baby looks like a wrinkly mole rat. Birth is some rough stuff, I get it. I'll leave it at a polite "congratulations" and give the kid a few days to adjust to being outside the womb.

climbingsingle · January 2015

I had a friend on FB post a picture of his kid's first poop in the potty. I deleted him 3.5 seconds later.

But yeah, I'm with you guys on the goopy babies. No thanks!

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

dallasbetch said:

Why would you even want pictures that soon? Babies are ugly as hell for at least an hour.
Heard that. I also have a hard time with the lying part of congratulatory messages- "he/she is so beautiful!" when the baby looks like a wrinkly mole rat. Birth is some rough stuff, I get it. I'll leave it at a polite "congratulations" and give the kid a few days to adjust to being outside the womb.

Dying, hahahahaha!

Ok does this seem inappropriate to anyone else?

Re: Ok does this seem inappropriate to anyone else?

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