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For those of you who got an invitation to a friend's Saturday wedding 8 hours or so away, you....

taralee1983taralee1983 member
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edited January 2015 in Chit Chat
A close friend

For those of you who got an invitation to a friend's Saturday wedding 8 hours or so away, you.... 76 votes

Accepted
69% 53 votes
Declined
30% 23 votes
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Re: For those of you who got an invitation to a friend's Saturday wedding 8 hours or so away, you....

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    lurkergirllurkergirl member
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    larrygaga said:
    It depends?

    I've accepted some and declined others, depending on how much money I had and how close I was to the couple and if they were shitty about etiquette. 
    Ditto.  I will consider how close we are and if we can swing it with finances and missed work.  And, yeah, shitty etiquette is a deal breaker.




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    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
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    edited January 2015
    Yeah, what Larry said. Depends how close I am with that friend, how many other close friends are attending, how much a hotel and gas would cost and if I could afford that, whether I had other plans...

    FWIW I've never been invited to a wedding 8 hours away. I think my furthest was 6 hours for a cousin, and 5 hours for a friend. I attended both.

    ETA the furthest drive was 6 hours. The furthest wedding was a 9 hour flight to Brazil. :) Attended that too. Actually I've only ever declined one wedding, because I was B-listed and already had plans to be out of town. That was 30 minutes away.
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    novella1186novella1186 member
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    All the weddings for which I had to buy airfare and/or get a hotel room, I had to decline because it was while I was in college and totally broke. The weddings I've been invited to since then have been within a two hour drive and I can now afford hotel rooms, so I accept.

    If it's a close friend I'd go to the other side of the world for that wedding. Not a close friend? Maybe if I had nothing better to do and it was in a cool city where we could do other fun things in our free time, I'd make the trip.
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    levioosalevioosa member
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    It would have to be a close friend or a family member I cared about.  Otherwise...decline! 


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    thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
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    I've attended four weddings that involved plane trips or long drives. One boring location but best friend. The others, fun locations, so yay for weekend getaways :)
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    taralee1983taralee1983 member
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    What if the friend offers to personally pay for your transport?
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    lovemyrunnerlovemyrunner member
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    We're going to one in Breckenridge, CO next weekend which is about 9 hours away.  One big reason we're going is that it's a small wedding with only 50 guests.  We felt so honored to make the cut that we couldn't possibly decline.

    I turned down an invite to a wedding in Arizona because the bride and I were no longer that close, and there was no formal invite, she just sprung it on me over the phone.  I was too poor at the time to buy a plane ticket and reserve a hotel on short notice.  Plus my class and work schedules were already in place and couldn't be changed.
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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
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    Unless it was my best friend, probably decline. It's really not in my budget to travel for a wedding right now.


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    taralee1983taralee1983 member
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    Once again, the friend offers to pay.  That means for the plane and hotel.
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    edited January 2015
    I've flown on a plane for 5382 miles for a wedding.  I've attend a bunch of weddings over 1500 miles away via plane too.  Actually the wedding I attended in Sept was just over 2000 miles away.

    If it's close friend I will try and make the trip.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    taralee1983 said:
    Once again, the friend offers to pay.  That means for the plane and hotel.
    Probably not.  I would feel uncomfortable accepting that much money.  Ditto PPs, just spit it out.



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    lurkergirllurkergirl member
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    lolo883 said:
    taralee1983 said:
    Once again, the friend offers to pay.  That means for the plane and hotel.
    Why don't you just give us the whole story instead of asking hypotheticals?
    Yep.  Pretty sure if you're worried about being found out, it's too late.  How many friends do you think have offered airfare and accommodations for their OOT wedding to a friend named taralee born in 1983?




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    erinlin25erinlin25 member
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    Good friends and family get an accept as long as its financially do-able (advance notice I would make sure it happens). 

    I had to decline my cousins wedding a few years back because I was not in a position to take the time off work early on, so by the time I knew could take the time off, airfare had tripled so I could not afford to make the trip :(  I was bummed, but my cousin completely understood.  Now that I am in a position where I can take vacation time/days off, I would for sure plan and save for it in advance. 
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    taralee1983taralee1983 member
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    I already had a destination wedding, but plan on having a bigger one.  It means the world to me if my best friend 8 hours away can be my maid of honor.

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    taralee1983taralee1983 member
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    edited January 2015

    A bigger wedding for friends and family.  The destination wedding was just us and a couple of witnesses.  It's when you get married on vacation.

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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    edited January 2015
    I know what a DW means. I didn't understand the we have already had a DW, but now we are having a bigger one meant.

    So basically you are asking if we would travel 8 hours to a party?    Yes, I would and have.   I've flown across the Atlantic to attend my friend's Catholic wedding (they had their legal wedding in the states - Austria requires a civil ceremony).     

    But me attending is conditional on what else is going on in my life at the time. 

    However, I would not be a fake MOH to someone who is already married.  That is just weird in my opinion.  You are married, why the need for a MOH?  Hasn't that ship already sailed when you had the DW?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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