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How to politely "oust" a bridesmaid?

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Re: How to politely "oust" a bridesmaid?

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    ohannabelleohannabelle member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited January 2015

    moorewedding530 said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    moorewedding530 said:
    I am so f*cking tired of all the negativity and harassment on here.   Since when does not supporting shitty and rude ideas, like kicking your friends out of your bridal party, over typically very petty and immature nonsense, constituent "harassment"?  I don't think that word means what you think it means.  We also don't validate shitty and rude ideas, so if that is negativity to you, well I dunno what to tell you.  Welcome to TheKnot.
    I have friends in my bridal party who aren't my "best friends" anymore. Kicking them out wouldn't do anything but cause more headache, and I generally enjoy their company, so why not have them be a part of my day?
    I did, however have a MOH who clearly wanted nothing to do with the wedding at all, so it was a mutual agreement that she'd no longer be a part of it.
    It's your day. If it's worth the drama and maybe loss of a friend, so be it. But think on it for a while.  Once you invite other people it ceases to be "your day."

    When you communicate online, all you see is a computer screen – you are anonymously conversing with others behind a screen. This does not give you the right to maliciously criticize or attack others. Remember – there is a human on the other side of that screen. Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life. The Knot encourages you to share your opinions while respecting others' thoughts and feelings as well. Feel free to share, but be ready to hear and accept other opinions that you may not always agree with. Because you do not agree with someone, does not mean this is the place to attack anyone else's beliefs.

    You may not agree with how I handled the situation. Once again. Were you there? No.
    If your BMs aren't there to support you, you don't need them. That's my opinion. End of story.
    You are attacking my beliefs. 

    edit- somehow another reply was pasted in here. It goes elsewhere, where it made sense.

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    LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Stop attacking my fundamental belief to be a total shrew. Just because I did one of the most basic friendship-ending moves doesn't mean I am a horrible friend!
    image


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    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited January 2015
    moorewedding530 said:





    When you communicate online, all you see is a computer screen – you are anonymously conversing with others behind a screen. This does not give you the right to maliciously criticize or attack others. Remember – there is a human on the other side of that screen. Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life. The Knot encourages you to share your opinions while respecting others' thoughts and feelings as well. Feel free to share, but be ready to hear and accept other opinions that you may not always agree with. Because you do not agree with someone, does not mean this is the place to attack anyone else's beliefs.


    Well, that's debatable. 
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    jelly1313jelly1313 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I really think people over react on this getting rid of a bridesmaid thing. I was booted out of my cousins wedding for no other reason then the sides weren't even. Sure she told me it was because she felt I would be too busy at work to fully meet her Bridesmaid standards. I had already bought the dress and gone to whatever bride things she wanted(trying dresses on, wedding fair)

     Guess what people, it wasn't the end of the world or our friendship. Seriously it is a WEDDING! My feelings were hurt for the rest of the day and then I got over it and moved on with my life. Still went to her bridal shower and her bachlorette party. I still went to the wedding.  
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    flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie15079655 said:
    I really think people over react on this getting rid of a bridesmaid thing. I was booted out of my cousins wedding for no other reason then the sides weren't even. Sure she told me it was because she felt I would be too busy at work to fully meet her Bridesmaid standards. I had already bought the dress and gone to whatever bride things she wanted(trying dresses on, wedding fair)

     Guess what people, it wasn't the end of the world or our friendship. Seriously it is a WEDDING! My feelings were hurt for the rest of the day and then I got over it and moved on with my life. Still went to her bridal shower and her bachlorette party. I still went to the wedding.  
    I am glad you were able to put the hurt behind you and forgive your cousin. 

    However, most people aren't hurt because they really wanted to wear the dress and really needed to stand up next to someone when they got married. They're hurt because the gesture of kicking someone out of a wedding party usually means "My imaginary expectations for duties/photos/etc. are way more important than you are to me." 

    If someone cares about their wedding photos more than me, fine. But I clearly am not friends with them, by any meaningful definition of friendship. To those kicked out of a WP, that knowledge usually comes as a surprise.
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