Personally I don't expect an engagement ring. I've never been much for jewelry, in fact the only ring I have is a mothers ring I wear on a bottlecap necklace because I work in a factory. Second I hate having someone to spend money on me. My fiance insists that I not only get a ring but it HAS TO HAVE A DIAMOND. To me it's not a big deal to just save the money and put it towards our wedding bands. I understand its a sign that I'm not single, so is a polite "sorry but I'm married". Does anyone else feel the same?
Re: Engaged with no ring
We picked my ring out together about an hour after he proposed. It took 2 weeks to get in, and you wouldn't believe the questions and snarky comments I got.
"If you ask me, you should have waited to announce your engagement until after you got your ring. It's not really official after all."
"What kind of man proposes with no ring?"
"It better be worth it if you have to wait two weeks for it!"
Fun fact, I had my venue booked a week after he proposed, before I had my ring. Guess I was "really engaged" after all.
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Rings get in the way of my work and several hobbies, so any one I get is removed and put down 30 or 40 times a week until I put in down and it disappears. I knew myself too well to agree to a diamond or other showy stone. At first Hubby now did not know what to make of this, and everyone kept saying, where is the ring.
He finally gave up on rings. I have an engagement ring I put on when we go out. Flat, no stone, painted with a design on blue enamel. Now it shares a box with my gold wedding band.
What I do have was first one set of sapphires for my pierced ears. Then white and blue sapphires on a favorite necklace. For my wedding day and worn regularly thereafter, tiny rubies in a ring of gold earrings. And a gold locket.
It is enough. And each of the small gifts means more. The money was better spent getting a house sooner.
FI gets a kick out of surprising me at odd times with little things. One of the funniest was little turned wood shelves with a bowl top he installed by each sink, near my quilting frame, by my violin case, all the places I take off my rings when I do wear them.
And I have not lost either in 8 years.
Do what feels right to you.
Another former Military and nurse / PT here. I don't know how others manage rings with stones and proper hand washing, and loving up with zones that often cut gloves. I have huge strong hands that fill my gloves.
From a guy's perspective, this is exactly what every man wants to hear. It's the reason why some men go above and beyond to make sure the women they love have the things they want. There is a satisfaction and abundance of clarity which occurs when a woman claims to be encouraged by the symbolism and virtue of proposals and engagements rather than the glamour of diamonds and price tags. The moment your concern for diamond quality, manufacturer, or price tags becomes a priority, that's the moment your potential groom reconsiders the security of the relationship. The fact that you stated you care more about planning for the future and care about the bands to symbolize your unity makes your fiancé want to give you not only a diamond, but the biggest diamond in the store. He will eventually get you a diamond. Men are not complicated at all. We fear the same thing that women do. We value the little things, as well. The women who value the little things are the ones men strive to give them big things.
I hope you and your future husband get everything you want.
Replying ONLY to the bolded part, I would highly disagree. Do all women want diamonds? No. But if someone is buying me a diamond, I don't want them to get ripped off. So yes, I would insist on some research into the 'quality' of a diamond.
However, i do agree with the rest. If it MUST be Tiffanys, or cost x amount, then I see where you're coming from. But quality is pretty important if you're paying thousands of dollars for something IMO.
WTF?
Wow... Was only asking because so many people looked at me like I was crazy for not having one, and thought is it really that big of a deal? So here's an idea whatever horse you rode up on and decided I need to get off mine... step off first lady.
ETA _____box
Someone put on her over sensitive panties this morning.