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Etiquette

Some of the wedding websites out there are insane!!!

Okay so I just made a little website for our wedding basically with just a way to tell out of town guests (we have a lot of out of towners) what the local accommodations are and what local activities are in the area if they're staying for awhile.  Very simple- very minimal.

Out of curiosity- I was looking online at other wedding websites an was BLOWN away by some of the things people write on them.  I'm not as hardcore about etiquette as some people on this website (I probably fall somewhere in the middle about how much I adhere to it) but man- some of these people who make some of these websites really should have checked out this forum first!  

I just read someone's website who has a HUGE FAQ section that includes things like:

-a 6 paragraph description on dress code- including what 4 colors they do not want people to wear (no black, white, red ???, or the bridal party's color- turquoise), how long and "elegant" ladies dresses should be (and specifies no cocktail dresses or summer dresses), and whether or not women are allowed to wear anything in their hair.  It literally says something along the lines of "You may wear a small accessory in your hair if you desire."

-another 6 paragraph description about yes there is a registry- including details like what their favorite and preferred items on the registry are, suggesting that some people may want to go in on some of the bigger gifts together, and what they intend to use their monetary gifts for (renovating their home)

People like this have to be joking!  It's so embarrassing they actually sent this out to people... figured some of you etiquette people would find this insane like I did!  And hopefully it will prevent some other new brides from ever making a wedding website like this! 
SP29
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Re: Some of the wedding websites out there are insane!!!

  • Seriously right?!  My favorite was about permission to wear something in your hair.  Hah! Can you imagine??  I do feel bad for those poor bridesmaids too...
  • That's pretty much revolting. In what world do they think that's not rude? The most rude thing I could think of on my wedding website was that I put we are registered at Target & also saving up for our honeymoon. I second guessed it, came here and asked, and removed it when I got feedback saying it's rude.

    My website has the venue information and directions, lodging info, and date/time. I'm sure half or more probably won't even look at it lol

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    kinney0515
  • Angusaur said:
    That's pretty much revolting. In what world do they think that's not rude? The most rude thing I could think of on my wedding website was that I put we are registered at Target & also saving up for our honeymoon. I second guessed it, came here and asked, and removed it when I got feedback saying it's rude.

    My website has the venue information and directions, lodging info, and date/time. I'm sure half or more probably won't even look at it lol
    I know! I hate to judge- I try not to be judgey- but it's sad for their guests and bridal party that some brides are like that :(  Too many people just see weddings as "princess day!!!" 
  • Angusaur said:
    Oh, and If I was attending that wedding, I'd show up in this

    image
    I die! Hah!!! love it. 
    themuffinman16
  • That is beyooond bad etiquette, that's being a horrendous human being haha.

    Telling guests how to dress is bad etiquette. But in lots of cases it's simply too much unnecessary 'helpful' info (eg "summer casual! no heels!" for a wedding on a beach). Those brides hopefully come here, learn that adults can be trusted to dress themselves, go "oh duh", and edit their site.

    Telling guests what specific colours and hair accessories they may or may not wear is horrendous, controlling behaviour. That bride wants to be the centre of attention and she'll be damned if a red dress takes any eyes of her! If that bride had come here she would've thrown a hissy fit over the thought of someone with a fascinator prettier than her veil.

  • Not as bad as dictating hair styles to guests, but, things I have seen re wedding websites of friends and acquaintances who have been engaged around the same time as FI and I (needing to do my own website made me curious about everyone else's websites so I always look):
    • Posting links to wedding websites on FB, which is how I even saw some of the websites for people I don't know very well. 
    • Dictating dress code. Again, not as bad as what OP described, but one couple admonished guests to take a shower and run a comb through their hair at minimum. 
    • Honeymoon registries. And more honeymoon registries. And a gofundme site. 
    • Telling guests "drinks are on us" (literally), but then telling guests they should tip the bartenders. 
    One thing I thought was pretty hilarious, though not a faux pas, was that the bride had written a multi-paragraph "her version" of their story, and the groom's "his version" was never completed. Ha. 
    image
  • With most of these transgressions, I can at least see where the person is coming from and often can see why they might have thought it was ok (ie. you see it in movies, that's what their friends did, etc). 

    So, I can see how someone might give dress code advice. People usually ask for it anyway, I don't think putting "casual" or whatever in the website is the worst thing.  I can see how they might get carried away and ask people not to wear whatever their color is, or not to wear white. 

    But the small hair accessory thing stops me in my tracks. I just had to read it several times. What are they worried was going to happen? Have they heard anything remotely like this directive before? Did they not read back through it and see how insane it sounds?
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  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    When I'm really, really bored at work, I love typing in random names in TK's website search bar and finding random websites. So much fun. And OP is right -- there are some really strange ones out there. One time I found one that had the about us story, proposal story, wedding party, registry, but the wedding date and venue was still TBD!!!
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    fwtx5815
  • What is sad is that, though I am horrified this bride put this type of information on her site, I am not surprised. It is very indicative of todays “me” way of thinking.

    Honestly though I bet this bride has always been like this. I do not see a person going from totally laid back easy to this controlling crazy person. To the people that know her this is probably just another in a long list of terrible behavior.  Only this time they have documentation they can keep forever.

    PrettyGirlLostBlue_Birdnovella1186
  • hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 Where the skies are so blue member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    peachy13 said:
    When I'm really, really bored at work, I love typing in random names in TK's website search bar and finding random websites. So much fun. And OP is right -- there are some really strange ones out there. One time I found one that had the about us story, proposal story, wedding party, registry, but the wedding date and venue was still TBD!!!
    Mine has this.... :/ I set up everything I thought I was ever going to need at any point ever in the time between now and the wedding since I know I'm not likely to update it all that often. There's nothing there but "Any registry info will be found here", and the next time I go into it I'll delete it because we're not actually intending on publicizing any registries we make. 

    I also gave my link to FMIL to look at and comment on because she's more excited about the wedding than FI and I are, and she blasted it out across Facebook. People we had no intention of inviting were able to see it. I haven't given her any more blastable details since...
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  • AuroraRose41AuroraRose41 New York member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Wow. I have no words. I wore a very pretty beaded headband to the last wedding that I went to, and got so many compliments on it from guests who I had never met. What would this bride even do if I showed up wearing it? Hire security to stop me at the door because of a headband?

    Also, I definitely spent a lot of time on our website, but the majority of it is for out of town guests. We have at least a quarter of our guests who have never been to the area, and I wanted to make it as easy as possible for them. I have a lot of information about the nearest airport and what airlines fly into it, the nearest train station, to contact our venue to request a complementary shuttle from the airport or train station to our venue (hotel on site), and the nearest restaurants, drug store, and grocery store in the area. I have a tab for the ceremony and reception, but it is very minimal (start time of ceremony, location at the venue, reception to follow at this location at the venue). I will probably put links to our registry on it once we create them, but only a link with no text. I can't imagine dictating attire or saying what our preferred gifts are (isn't that the point of a registry anyways??????)!


  • Telling guests how to dress is bad etiquette. But in lots of cases it's simply too much unnecessary 'helpful' info (eg "summer casual! no heels!" for a wedding on a beach). Those brides hopefully come here, learn that adults can be trusted to dress themselves, go "oh duh", and edit their site.

    This was me. I had seen "Attire" on SO many wedding websites before that I thought it was the norm. Mine wasn't crazy or anything, it just said "Cocktail attire suggested." And I deleted it once I found out it was a no-no (well before anyone had the website - we still haven't distributed it).

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  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    KatWAG said:
    peachy13 said:
    When I'm really, really bored at work, I love typing in random names in TK's website search bar and finding random websites. So much fun. And OP is right -- there are some really strange ones out there. One time I found one that had the about us story, proposal story, wedding party, registry, but the wedding date and venue was still TBD!!!
     
    ________
     
    You can do this????Why havent I been doing this on all my doing conference calls????
    image
    yeah! and you don't even need a full name! so i'll try generic starts to common first names like "kat" which will produce katelyns, katies, kathleens. soo many to chose from.
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    KatWAG
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'd go find the shortest red dress I  could get away with wearing and a tiara and show up to that wedding.

    Cut me a fucking break.

    1st thing I did when I made my wedding website was to delete the how we met, bridal party, and attire sections.  If you are invited to someone's wedding, you likely already know how they met, no one really cares all that much who is in the bridal party and does your BP want you to display their pictures and names on the internet anyways, and adults know how to dress themselves and what they wear to your wedding will have zero effect on you anyways.

    Then I PW protected my site because as you can see, there are a lot of rando creepers out there ;-)

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    [Deleted User]thisismynickname2happybridetobe1987
  • KatWAG said:
    peachy13 said:
    When I'm really, really bored at work, I love typing in random names in TK's website search bar and finding random websites. So much fun. And OP is right -- there are some really strange ones out there. One time I found one that had the about us story, proposal story, wedding party, registry, but the wedding date and venue was still TBD!!!
     
    ________
     
    You can do this????Why havent I been doing this on all my doing conference calls????
    image
    Oooh, you know where this is serious fun? Registry stalking at Tiffany and Company. That's some serious china and silver ogling. And it is shocking how many people are just registered for just gift cards. Then I judge them, and think, Bitch, you're getting your guests to pay off your ring! 
  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    We had no dress code information on our website.  We did say that they wedding would be outside (if it wasn't raining) and what the average temperatures were in the area that time of year, so that people could dress accordingly. 

    However, I told exactly two people something about dress code.  One was a bridesmaid who told me she intended to buy her 15-year-old son a suit for the wedding.  I told her that he didn't have to wear a suit if he didn't want to (especially since I knew money was tight for her and I didn't want her to feel like she had to spend a lot on a suit that he would grow out of in a year or two.)  After multiple questions from my aunt about what her husband and adult sons should wear, which I tried to answer with "H will be wearing dress pants, a tie and a vest," I finally broke down and suggested slacks and a collared shirt.  But at that point, I was pretty sure she wanted explicit information on what they should wear and telling her they were big boys and could dress themselves seemed more rude. 

    Pretty much everyone figured it out on their own.  The ladies wore summery dresses, skirts or nice slacks.  Most guys wore slacks and collared shirts.  We had a few suits and a few shorts and t-shirts for guys as well.  I honestly didn't notice... except for thinking one friend, who looked very handsome in his black suit, must have been really hot at our ceremony since the temperature that day ended up being much higher than the average. 
    image
  • peachy13 said:
    When I'm really, really bored at work, I love typing in random names in TK's website search bar and finding random websites. So much fun. And OP is right -- there are some really strange ones out there. One time I found one that had the about us story, proposal story, wedding party, registry, but the wedding date and venue was still TBD!!!
    Mine has this.... :/ I set up everything I thought I was ever going to need at any point ever in the time between now and the wedding since I know I'm not likely to update it all that often. There's nothing there but "Any registry info will be found here", and the next time I go into it I'll delete it because we're not actually intending on publicizing any registries we make. 

    I also gave my link to FMIL to look at and comment on because she's more excited about the wedding than FI and I are, and she blasted it out across Facebook. People we had no intention of inviting were able to see it. I haven't given her any more blastable details since...
    The reason Peachy said this was obnoxious is because they have a REGISTRY when they don't even have a DATE yet.  That's just ridiculous.
    PrettyGirlLostfwtx5815hellosweetie1015
  • AuroraRose41AuroraRose41 New York member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2015
    I'd go find the shortest red dress I  could get away with wearing and a tiara and show up to that wedding.

    Cut me a fucking break.

    1st thing I did when I made my wedding website was to delete the how we met, bridal party, and attire sections.  If you are invited to someone's wedding, you likely already know how they met, no one really cares all that much who is in the bridal party and does your BP want you to display their pictures and names on the internet anyways, and adults know how to dress themselves and what they wear to your wedding will have zero effect on you anyways.

    Then I PW protected my site because as you can see, there are a lot of rando creepers out there ;-)
    This is exactly why I deleted those sections off of ours too. Ours is also password protected for the same reason. I did however leave in the section of how we met because there are still some family members on both sides that the other hasn't met who will be invited to our wedding, and many of our family members who have met both of us don't know the story. But, it is only a paragraph (5-6 sentences) long and on a separate page from everything else. We didn't include anything about the proposal. 

    ETF:typo

  • I know a couple who both started their "about us" blurbs with "Well, I'm not very good at talking about myself..." and then both of their blurbs ended up being a ten minute read. And that was ON TOP OF their "How We Met" story which was another twenty minute read. It was just TMI. But then again, this was the same couple who registered for a down payment on a house and their first puppy, among other things.
    peachy13PrettyGirlLost
  • peachy13 said:
    KatWAG said:
    peachy13 said:
    When I'm really, really bored at work, I love typing in random names in TK's website search bar and finding random websites. So much fun. And OP is right -- there are some really strange ones out there. One time I found one that had the about us story, proposal story, wedding party, registry, but the wedding date and venue was still TBD!!!
     
    ________
     
    You can do this????Why havent I been doing this on all my doing conference calls????
    image
    yeah! and you don't even need a full name! so i'll try generic starts to common first names like "kat" which will produce katelyns, katies, kathleens. soo many to chose from.
    Well, now I know what I'm doing FOREVER.
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    peachy13ohannabelleEunoiaPhoenixashley8918
  • peachy13 said:
    kikilamp said:
    I know a couple who both started their "about us" blurbs with "Well, I'm not very good at talking about myself..." and then both of their blurbs ended up being a ten minute read. And that was ON TOP OF their "How We Met" story which was another twenty minute read. It was just TMI. But then again, this was the same couple who registered for a down payment on a house and their first puppy, among other things.
    This is usually my favorite part of other people's websites (I deleted these pages on mine because... no) and in most cases, the bride-to-be writes this long-winded, cheesy story about herself and how she has been looking for years to find a prince, and then she met her prince Joe, and how she can't wait to be Joe's wife, and how everything will be sunshine and rainbows forever and ever and then the groom's blurb - clearly written by himself - is just like "my name is Joe I have two brothers and I like football."
    Exactly! Except this time around they BOTH were super long and went into like.. their childhoods and their jobs and their families. It was exhausting.
    peachy13
  • AuroraRose41AuroraRose41 New York member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    peachy13 said:
    kikilamp said:
    I know a couple who both started their "about us" blurbs with "Well, I'm not very good at talking about myself..." and then both of their blurbs ended up being a ten minute read. And that was ON TOP OF their "How We Met" story which was another twenty minute read. It was just TMI. But then again, this was the same couple who registered for a down payment on a house and their first puppy, among other things.
    This is usually my favorite part of other people's websites (I deleted these pages on mine because... no) and in most cases, the bride-to-be writes this long-winded, cheesy story about herself and how she has been looking for years to find a prince, and then she met her prince Joe, and how she can't wait to be Joe's wife, and how everything will be sunshine and rainbows forever and ever and then the groom's blurb - clearly written by himself - is just like "my name is Joe I have two brothers and I like football.


    SITB

    People actually do the bolded? I'm guilty of writing a small blurb of how we met but it had none of this frou frou stuff in it. 

  • peachy13 said:
    kikilamp said:
    I know a couple who both started their "about us" blurbs with "Well, I'm not very good at talking about myself..." and then both of their blurbs ended up being a ten minute read. And that was ON TOP OF their "How We Met" story which was another twenty minute read. It was just TMI. But then again, this was the same couple who registered for a down payment on a house and their first puppy, among other things.
    This is usually my favorite part of other people's websites (I deleted these pages on mine because... no) and in most cases, the bride-to-be writes this long-winded, cheesy story about herself and how she has been looking for years to find a prince, and then she met her prince Joe, and how she can't wait to be Joe's wife, and how everything will be sunshine and rainbows forever and ever and then the groom's blurb - clearly written by himself - is just like "my name is Joe I have two brothers and I like football.


    SITB

    People actually do the bolded? I'm guilty of writing a small blurb of how we met but it had none of this frou frou stuff in it. 
    Well then you're obviously doing it wrong.
    AuroraRose41bizzy592
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