Need support please!

MadHops21 · February 2015

ashley8918 said:

MadHops21 said:

ashley8918, I like your posts. Let's hang out.

Holla atcha girl!

I noticed you're Chicago burbs, I didn't think anyone else here active was from here, too. Chicago burbs represent!

holyguacamole79 · February 2015

ashley8918 said:

holyguacamole79 said:

ashley8918 said:
...., you are not cut out for the internet (or life, really).
.I kick ass at life, thanks.

Classic "I have nothing of value to say, so I nitpick a tiny, irrelevant part of the post "

Not nitpicking, clarifying.

ohannabelle · February 2015

The very hardest part of being a mom is stepping back, and letting our children be adults, and respecting their choices.

Good work.

(I also understand that it was hard work, because it triggered some really deep grief issues with you, and I'm really impressed that you separated your daughter's situation from your own emotions, which felt related, but really are not. Also good work, with a hug. )

MadHops21 · February 2015

doeydo said:

MadHops21 said:

doeydo ?

This is one of those threads you just want with popcorn, but I have to defend Doeydo here. She's pretty amazing on these boards and never fights anyone.

We should all drink milkshakes and shit. Stupid distances

That gif got me

I'm on my way up to see you, milkshakes will be drunk.

JCbride2015 · February 2015

Denise, hugs.

ashley8918 · February 2015

holyguacamole79 said:

holyguacamole79 said:

...., you are not cut out for the internet (or life, really).
.I kick ass at life, thanks.

Classic "I have nothing of value to say, so I nitpick a tiny, irrelevant part of the post "
Not nitpicking, clarifying.

nit·pick·ing

ˈnitˌpikiNG/

informal

adjective

1.
looking for small or unimportant errors or faults, especially in order to criticize unnecessarily.
"a nitpicking legalistic exercise"

noun

1.
fussy fault-finding.
"nitpicking over tiny details"

emmaaa · February 2015

I think you handled it as best as you could given the situation. I'll be praying for you and your daughter, and especially her as she makes this decsion. Hugs from NC

novella1186 · February 2015

I'm just now catching up on this thread, and Denise, I was so happy for you to see how you handled this with your daughter. I'm sure it was very difficult, and I'm sure as a mom you just want to be there for her. I think just letting her know that you're there and that you love her, without prying the details out, was amazing of you. I'm sorry you're having a hard time with this, but I'm sure your daughter is glad to have a mother like you.

Hugs, and more hugs.

Denise40 · February 2015

novella1186 said:

I'm just now catching up on this thread, and Denise, I was so happy for you to see how you handled this with your daughter. I'm sure it was very difficult, and I'm sure as a mom you just want to be there for her. I think just letting her know that you're there and that you love her, without prying the details out, was amazing of you. I'm sorry you're having a hard time with this, but I'm sure your daughter is glad to have a mother like you.

Hugs, and more hugs.

Thank you for saying that. It's very hard and I can only imagine how she's feeling I just have to put on my big girl panties and be there if or when she needs me.

themuffinman16 · February 2015

@denise, you did the right thing.

I had an abortion years ago, for medical reasons. Everyone has a really good reason if they consider abortion. . We can never know what everyone's reasons are behind abortion, but it is never entered into, lightly.

My mother also found out from a third party (my older sister). However, my mother confronted me, and made me feel guilty about it. I still think about it. The decision was a hard one and given another chance, I would make that decision, again. If your daughter has an idea that you know, she is really thankful that you are respecting her choice, and she will forever remember that. You are a good mother, and I know keeping quiet was probably the hardest thing you have ever done. Giving you mad respect as well.

Denise40 · February 2015

Thank you @themuffinman16 That means a lot

lc07 · February 2015

I'm super late to this but wanted to add a hug and positive thoughts for you and your daughter as well, Denise.

Denise40 · February 2015

Thank you @lc07‌

FiancB · February 2015

Denise, I just want to say that you did a great job handling this. I think it's only natural to jump to conclusions and worry and want to do something when it's your daughter making a big decision. I think it's pretty clear some people in this situation, particularly your source, are uncomfortable with the idea of abortion and are letting that cloud their judgement. Good for you taking a step back and respecting your daughter's autonomy.

By contrast, if my family found out I was doing this they'd be disowning me so...

I love kids and that doesn't mean I wouldn't have had an abortion if I got pregnant at a bad time, namely not being married and already taking care of someone else's kids and generally not feeling ready. It's not a decision that many people take lightly but that does not mean she'll regret it or be depressed about it. This does not mean she can't choose to get pregnant and have the baby at a later time.

Also would like to just add that being pro-life in one's personal life is not an unreasonable stance but hysterically using medically incorrect terminology does not help anyone's case, and interjecting it into a thread like this that is not meant for debate as to whether abortion is moral or not is not appropriate.

holyguacamole79 · February 2015

@FiancB‌ , what medically incorrect terminology did I use? "Grandchild"?

theartistformerlyknownas · February 2015

Stop shit-stirring, Guac. Nobody buys that you're "just trying to understand." That shit is old and it stinks.

holyguacamole79 · February 2015

lolo883 said:

Stop shit-stirring, Guac. Nobody buys that you're "just trying to understand." That shit is old and it stinks.

I understand you guys and I vehemently disagree. I am not speaking from a medical point of view, but a relational one. That is / was her grandchild.

theartistformerlyknownas · February 2015

holyguacamole79 said:

lolo883 said:

Stop shit-stirring, Guac. Nobody buys that you're "just trying to understand." That shit is old and it stinks.

I understand you guys and I vehemently disagree. I am not speaking from a medical point of view, but a relational one. That is / was her grandchild.

- boxes? -

We all know you disagree. Bringing it up time after time when that was NOT even the question is the definition of shit-stirring. It's fucking obnoxious.

holyguacamole79 · February 2015

lolo883 said:

holyguacamole79 said:

lolo883 said:

Stop shit-stirring, Guac. Nobody buys that you're "just trying to understand." That shit is old and it stinks.

I understand you guys and I vehemently disagree. I am not speaking from a medical point of view, but a relational one. That is / was her grandchild.

- boxes? -

We all know you disagree. Bringing it up time after time when that was NOT even the question is the definition of shit-stirring. It's fucking obnoxious.

You call it shit stirring because you disagree with it. When Doey brought up her alien comment, nobody got upset because the general concensus agrees with her. The point was dead, and FiancB brought it up this morning. Nobody accused her of "shit stirring".

emmaaa · February 2015

You know, as someone who is pro-life and generally disagrees with people on abortion on TK, I would never use a situation like this to start a pro-life/pro-choice debate. This is not an appropriate thread to do so, especially when a mom is upset and distressed. She wanted advice, consoling, and prayers. Not a debate.

Whenever people bring this topic up, I generally stay out of it since nothing I say will change someone else's opinion. Instead, it turns into unnecessary arguments and shit stirring. I'm not telling anyone how to post or what threads are appropriate. I'm not saying there can't be discussions about abortion. All I'm saying is there is a time and place for everything, and this isn't one of those times and places (to me anyways). Also, it is important to know your audience.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and their beliefs. Some of us disagree, but such is life. It would be boring if we agreed all of the time.

holyguacamole79 · February 2015

I apologize if any of my comments upset @Denise40‌. It was not my intent, and my only intent was to show solidarity with her regarding her beliefs that her grandchild was affected. Taking a step back, I realize I am dealing with my own issues surrounding the miscarriage of my nephews (I just found out that she was pregnant with twin boys). And I am dealing with the issues of our own fertility struggles. It's very hard to read that someone wants to terminate a pregnancy when that's what you want so much. I should have just walked away. And I didn't. For that, I aplogize.

STARMOON44 · February 2015

holyguacamole79 said:
I apologize if any of my comments upset @Denise40‌. It was not my intent, and my only intent was to show solidarity with her regarding her beliefs that her grandchild was affected. Taking a step back, I realize I am dealing with my own issues surrounding the miscarriage of my nephews (I just found out that she was pregnant with twin boys). And I am dealing with the issues of our own fertility struggles. It's very hard to read that someone wants to terminate a pregnancy when that's what you want so much. I should have just walked away. And I didn't. For that, I aplogize.

I think this is a very nice apology and will keep you and family in my prayers.

beethery · February 2015

holyguacamole79 said:

I apologize if any of my comments upset @Denise40‌. It was not my intent, and my only intent was to show solidarity with her regarding her beliefs that her grandchild was affected. Taking a step back, I realize I am dealing with my own issues surrounding the miscarriage of my nephews (I just found out that she was pregnant with twin boys). And I am dealing with the issues of our own fertility struggles. It's very hard to read that someone wants to terminate a pregnancy when that's what you want so much. I should have just walked away. And I didn't. For that, I aplogize.

What you want and what someone else wants are two different things.

What you want for yourself has ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING RESONANCE ON DECISIONS OTHERS MAKE ON THEIR OWN LIVES.

You need to get a fucking grip on that.

This pot is burnt out on the god damn stove. Your CONSISTENT need to return just to talk out of your ass is shit-stirring. Put the fucking spoon down and knock it off.

drunkenwitch · February 2015

@beethery I totally less than three you.

@denise40 You did the right thing. I started typing more but then stopped because that is all that needs to be said.

STARMOON44 · February 2015

beethery said:

holyguacamole79 said:

I apologize if any of my comments upset @Denise40‌. It was not my intent, and my only intent was to show solidarity with her regarding her beliefs that her grandchild was affected. Taking a step back, I realize I am dealing with my own issues surrounding the miscarriage of my nephews (I just found out that she was pregnant with twin boys). And I am dealing with the issues of our own fertility struggles. It's very hard to read that someone wants to terminate a pregnancy when that's what you want so much. I should have just walked away. And I didn't. For that, I aplogize.

What you want and what someone else wants are two different things.

What you want for yourself has ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING RESONANCE ON DECISIONS OTHERS MAKE ON THEIR OWN LIVES.

You need to get a fucking grip on that.

This pot is burnt out on the god damn stove. Your CONSISTENT need to return just to talk out of your ass is shit-stirring. Put the fucking spoon down and knock it off.

This seems completely out of line to me. She just apologized and said she should have walked away. A SHOUTY profanity laced response? I agree with you, what we want for ourselves doesn't affect what's right for others. But it can be hard, personally, and @holyguacamole79‌ is right, walking away is a good solution when your own feelings are getting in the way of something bigger.

beethery · February 2015

STARMOON44 said:
This seems completely out of line to me. She just apologized and said she should have walked away. A SHOUTY profanity laced response? I agree with you, what we want for ourselves doesn't affect what's right for others. But it can be hard, personally, and holyguacamole79 is right, walking away is a good solution when your own feelings are getting in the way of something bigger.

Her apologies mean less than nothing to me because I know what kind of person she is. I'm sure you'll be receiving a grateful PM and a statement about how I don't know all the facts.

I will bigtext and use profanity as I please.

AlexisA01 · February 2015

beethery said:

holyguacamole79 said:

I apologize if any of my comments upset @Denise40‌. It was not my intent, and my only intent was to show solidarity with her regarding her beliefs that her grandchild was affected. Taking a step back, I realize I am dealing with my own issues surrounding the miscarriage of my nephews (I just found out that she was pregnant with twin boys). And I am dealing with the issues of our own fertility struggles. It's very hard to read that someone wants to terminate a pregnancy when that's what you want so much. I should have just walked away. And I didn't. For that, I aplogize.

What you want and what someone else wants are two different things.

What you want for yourself has ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING RESONANCE ON DECISIONS OTHERS MAKE ON THEIR OWN LIVES.

You need to get a fucking grip on that.

This pot is burnt out on the god damn stove. Your CONSISTENT need to return just to talk out of your ass is shit-stirring. Put the fucking spoon down and knock it off.

This is true for this post.

holyguacamole79 · February 2015

STARMOON44 said:

holyguacamole79 said:
I apologize if any of my comments upset @Denise40‌. It was not my intent, and my only intent was to show solidarity with her regarding her beliefs that her grandchild was affected. Taking a step back, I realize I am dealing with my own issues surrounding the miscarriage of my nephews (I just found out that she was pregnant with twin boys). And I am dealing with the issues of our own fertility struggles. It's very hard to read that someone wants to terminate a pregnancy when that's what you want so much. I should have just walked away. And I didn't. For that, I aplogize.

I think this is a very nice apology and will keep you and family in my prayers.

Thank you, @STARMOON44‌ . That means a lot to me.

sophhabobopha · February 2015

There is no grandchild. Support her by staying out of it.

It can be so hard to seperate our feelings from situations, which sucks ass.

sophhabobopha · February 2015

I finished reading.

You are a great mom! Hugs to you.

Need support please!

Re: Need support please!

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