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Etiquette

How much is too much?

2

Re: How much is too much?

  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    If you act like a doormat, people will treat you like a doormat.

    Have you already ordered the dress? If not, speak up and say its too expensive. But if the dress has already been purchased, I dont think its fair to make a stink about it now.

    Decline the shoes, hair and make- up.

    Gifts are never required. Send a card.

    Travel expenses and accomdations are not the birdes problem. If you can not afford to attend, then decline.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    PrettyGirlLostsouthernbelle0915
  • lilacck28 said:

    Coming to my wedding: $10 - $332. The one with $ lives in my state, about a half hour from where I will be getting married. The other is in school about 5 hours away. So, at $0.56 per gallon, that's $332 round trip for gas. UGHH. I feel badly. They're both going to stay with my parents the night before, so no need for a hotel room.

    Huh?  Is she driving a Hummer?  And $.56 per gallon for gas?  Assuming 300 miles each way if she's about 5 hours away, that's a 600 mile trip total.  If she's driving a vehicle that gets 25 miles per gallon (a very reasonable average), it should take her about 24 gallons of gas to do a round trip.  At $2.50/gallon (which is probably high for gas prices these days), she's looking at spending about $60 in gas.  Let me know if I'm missing something here, but I wouldn't feel too bad for your friend.  I think your gas price calculation is way high.  I drive a crossover vehicle that gets reasonable but not great MPG and I've gone on way longer road trips while spending way less than $300 on gas.
    She is probably using the IRS guide to reimbursable mileage.  I haven't done expense reports in a while but that rate sounds about right, it accounts for gas and overall car maintenance.  So $.56/mile x 600 miles = $336 which is spot on.  Either way I give her props for being so cost conscious for her bridal party.  :)
    lilacck28
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    lilacck28 said:

    Coming to my wedding: $10 - $332. The one with $ lives in my state, about a half hour from where I will be getting married. The other is in school about 5 hours away. So, at $0.56 per gallon, that's $332 round trip for gas. UGHH. I feel badly. They're both going to stay with my parents the night before, so no need for a hotel room.

    Huh?  Is she driving a Hummer?  And $.56 per gallon for gas?  Assuming 300 miles each way if she's about 5 hours away, that's a 600 mile trip total.  If she's driving a vehicle that gets 25 miles per gallon (a very reasonable average), it should take her about 24 gallons of gas to do a round trip.  At $2.50/gallon (which is probably high for gas prices these days), she's looking at spending about $60 in gas.  Let me know if I'm missing something here, but I wouldn't feel too bad for your friend.  I think your gas price calculation is way high.  I drive a crossover vehicle that gets reasonable but not great MPG and I've gone on way longer road trips while spending way less than $300 on gas.
    $0.56 is the federal reimbursement for mileage. Actually, it went up to $0.575 on 1/1.
    ~*~*~*~*~

    rcher912
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    ash209 said:
    LtPowers said:
    ash209 said:
    $1200 a piece! 

    Flight + hotel/rental + activity - boat ride + she wants to cater in a meal, do a dinner out, go out Fri/Saturday and then getting to and from the airport in shuttles or taxis + gift + misc. expenses. 


    That's not a party; it's a vacation.

    And what's that "gift" in there?


    Powers  &8^]

    I sent a cost breakdown to her MOH to see if I was on point for estimating how much it would cost, and when I got to about $1150 (including a gift for her, lingerie or something) her MOH said that was accurate and about what she figured. 

    I have paid a small amount as a down payment for the bachelorette, but am trying to figure out how to back out or suggest something cheaper. I am getting more worried about spending that much every minute I think about it! 
    "MOH, thanks for not asking my input before spending MY money and then invoicing me, but I can't afford to participate in this bach party.  My suggestion is that we do something local instead, such as XYZ."

    I have no patience in life for fuckery like this any longer, so that's what I'd say.  Don't say what I scratched out above unless you give zero fucks about being perceived as a bitch :-)

    Honey, JUST DROP OUT!!!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    AuroraRose41[Deleted User]
  • lilacck28 said:

    Coming to my wedding: $10 - $332. The one with $ lives in my state, about a half hour from where I will be getting married. The other is in school about 5 hours away. So, at $0.56 per gallon, that's $332 round trip for gas. UGHH. I feel badly. They're both going to stay with my parents the night before, so no need for a hotel room.

    Huh?  Is she driving a Hummer?  And $.56 per gallon for gas?  Assuming 300 miles each way if she's about 5 hours away, that's a 600 mile trip total.  If she's driving a vehicle that gets 25 miles per gallon (a very reasonable average), it should take her about 24 gallons of gas to do a round trip.  At $2.50/gallon (which is probably high for gas prices these days), she's looking at spending about $60 in gas.  Let me know if I'm missing something here, but I wouldn't feel too bad for your friend.  I think your gas price calculation is way high.  I drive a crossover vehicle that gets reasonable but not great MPG and I've gone on way longer road trips while spending way less than $300 on gas.
    $0.56 is the federal reimbursement for mileage. Actually, it went up to $0.575 on 1/1.
    I get that.  But that's different than saying the bridesmaid is going to spend $332 round trip for gas.  She will likely spend far, far less than that.  The IRS rate includes vehicle depreciation, car maintenance, insurance, and a whole host of other factors.
    jenna8984
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    chloe97 said:
    When I was 25-28 (I am 36 now) I was in 4 weddings that has similar wedding expenses- bachelorette parties in Las Vegas with full bottle service, $350 bridesmaid dresses, $200 hotel rooms just for the wedding etc. Altogether between these 4 weddings, I probably spent $15,000. At the time I was in grad school and everyone else was working, so I just put it all on the credit card and paid off the credit card by taking out more student loans. It's almost 10 years later and I am still paying off those student loans.

    DON'T BE DUMB LIKE ME. 

    I know it sucks to be the one to say no, and as much as I enjoy looking back at those pictures of my friends in Vegas or at weddings in our gorgeous bridesmaid dresses, skinny and wrinkle-free, I would MUCH rather be student loan free by now! 


    O.o

    O.o

    O.o

    O.o

    Holy.Shit.

    I don't love ANYONE enough to go into that much debt for their stupid weddings, sorrynotsorry.

    God Bless you- don't be that dumb ever again!!!!!! <3

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Maggie0829AuroraRose41lovegood90SP29
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    lilacck28 said:

    Coming to my wedding: $10 - $332. The one with $ lives in my state, about a half hour from where I will be getting married. The other is in school about 5 hours away. So, at $0.56 per gallon, that's $332 round trip for gas. UGHH. I feel badly. They're both going to stay with my parents the night before, so no need for a hotel room.

    Huh?  Is she driving a Hummer?  And $.56 per gallon for gas?  Assuming 300 miles each way if she's about 5 hours away, that's a 600 mile trip total.  If she's driving a vehicle that gets 25 miles per gallon (a very reasonable average), it should take her about 24 gallons of gas to do a round trip.  At $2.50/gallon (which is probably high for gas prices these days), she's looking at spending about $60 in gas.  Let me know if I'm missing something here, but I wouldn't feel too bad for your friend.  I think your gas price calculation is way high.  I drive a crossover vehicle that gets reasonable but not great MPG and I've gone on way longer road trips while spending way less than $300 on gas.
    $0.56 is the federal reimbursement for mileage. Actually, it went up to $0.575 on 1/1.
    I get that.  But that's different than saying the bridesmaid is going to spend $332 round trip for gas.  She will likely spend far, far less than that.  The IRS rate includes vehicle depreciation, car maintenance, insurance, and a whole host of other factors.
    I know, I was just showing where she got that number from in case other people didn't know. Most people I know don't put in for mileage reimbursement so would have no clue.
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • lilacck28 said:

    Coming to my wedding: $10 - $332. The one with $ lives in my state, about a half hour from where I will be getting married. The other is in school about 5 hours away. So, at $0.56 per gallon, that's $332 round trip for gas. UGHH. I feel badly. They're both going to stay with my parents the night before, so no need for a hotel room.

    Huh?  Is she driving a Hummer?  And $.56 per gallon for gas?  Assuming 300 miles each way if she's about 5 hours away, that's a 600 mile trip total.  If she's driving a vehicle that gets 25 miles per gallon (a very reasonable average), it should take her about 24 gallons of gas to do a round trip.  At $2.50/gallon (which is probably high for gas prices these days), she's looking at spending about $60 in gas.  Let me know if I'm missing something here, but I wouldn't feel too bad for your friend.  I think your gas price calculation is way high.  I drive a crossover vehicle that gets reasonable but not great MPG and I've gone on way longer road trips while spending way less than $300 on gas.
    $0.56 is the federal reimbursement for mileage. Actually, it went up to $0.575 on 1/1.
    I get that.  But that's different than saying the bridesmaid is going to spend $332 round trip for gas.  She will likely spend far, far less than that.  The IRS rate includes vehicle depreciation, car maintenance, insurance, and a whole host of other factors.
    I know, I was just showing where she got that number from in case other people didn't know. Most people I know don't put in for mileage reimbursement so would have no clue.
    Fair enough.  I initially didn't pick up on it either since the lilacck said $.56 per gallon instead of per mile.  In any event, hopefully this whole conversation will help assuage some of her guilt over her bridesmaid's travel expenses.  :-)

    And OP, to echo everything everyone else has said--just say no!!!  Nobody is entitled to spend your money but you.
    lilacck28
  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited February 2015
    lilacck28 said:

    Coming to my wedding: $10 - $332. The one with $ lives in my state, about a half hour from where I will be getting married. The other is in school about 5 hours away. So, at $0.56 per gallon, that's $332 round trip for gas. UGHH. I feel badly. They're both going to stay with my parents the night before, so no need for a hotel room.

    Huh?  Is she driving a Hummer?  And $.56 per gallon for gas?  Assuming 300 miles each way if she's about 5 hours away, that's a 600 mile trip total.  If she's driving a vehicle that gets 25 miles per gallon (a very reasonable average), it should take her about 24 gallons of gas to do a round trip.  At $2.50/gallon (which is probably high for gas prices these days), she's looking at spending about $60 in gas.  Let me know if I'm missing something here, but I wouldn't feel too bad for your friend.  I think your gas price calculation is way high.  I drive a crossover vehicle that gets reasonable but not great MPG and I've gone on way longer road trips while spending way less than $300 on gas.
    Yeah, I was probably way overestimating. The $0.56 number is the standard repayment that companies reimburse you for mileage. My mistake for saying gallon!  She drives a Suburu impreza :) And yes, ladies, I had a momentary brain fart where I was thinking gas would ACTUALLY cost that much, and I was feeling terrible. Thanks for relieving that anxiety! (it's been a very bad few weeks at work. I'm an anxious mess, and not thinking straight.)
  • Yeah....at 33, I couldn't afford all this.
  • rcher912rcher912 Philadelphia member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    lilacck28 said:

    Coming to my wedding: $10 - $332. The one with $ lives in my state, about a half hour from where I will be getting married. The other is in school about 5 hours away. So, at $0.56 per gallon, that's $332 round trip for gas. UGHH. I feel badly. They're both going to stay with my parents the night before, so no need for a hotel room.

    Huh?  Is she driving a Hummer?  And $.56 per gallon for gas?  Assuming 300 miles each way if she's about 5 hours away, that's a 600 mile trip total.  If she's driving a vehicle that gets 25 miles per gallon (a very reasonable average), it should take her about 24 gallons of gas to do a round trip.  At $2.50/gallon (which is probably high for gas prices these days), she's looking at spending about $60 in gas.  Let me know if I'm missing something here, but I wouldn't feel too bad for your friend.  I think your gas price calculation is way high.  I drive a crossover vehicle that gets reasonable but not great MPG and I've gone on way longer road trips while spending way less than $300 on gas.
    $0.56 is the federal reimbursement for mileage. Actually, it went up to $0.575 on 1/1.
    OOOO Thank you for the information!!! I'll have to see if my work actually follows that...yaaaayyyy mileage reimbursement!

    And yeah, eff that noise. No way am I spending a full month's salary to be in your wedding. I'd rather eat, thanks.
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm late to this, but how is this bachelorette party costing 14,000 dollars total? Are you each getting your own room. I don't understand how it would cost nearly that much (does it include airfare?)
    image
    image

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    MGP
  • ash209 said:
    Ladies, you all rock. Thanks so much for all the advice. Asking the bride to talk tonight and tell her it is causing me more stress than excitement, as much as I want to be there to celebrate her! I think she's forgetting she's not the only wedding most of us have in the next 10 years and can't afford everything she's asking for. 

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!
    Let us know how it goes!
    adettma32
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    rcher912 said:
    lilacck28 said:

    Coming to my wedding: $10 - $332. The one with $ lives in my state, about a half hour from where I will be getting married. The other is in school about 5 hours away. So, at $0.56 per gallon, that's $332 round trip for gas. UGHH. I feel badly. They're both going to stay with my parents the night before, so no need for a hotel room.

    Huh?  Is she driving a Hummer?  And $.56 per gallon for gas?  Assuming 300 miles each way if she's about 5 hours away, that's a 600 mile trip total.  If she's driving a vehicle that gets 25 miles per gallon (a very reasonable average), it should take her about 24 gallons of gas to do a round trip.  At $2.50/gallon (which is probably high for gas prices these days), she's looking at spending about $60 in gas.  Let me know if I'm missing something here, but I wouldn't feel too bad for your friend.  I think your gas price calculation is way high.  I drive a crossover vehicle that gets reasonable but not great MPG and I've gone on way longer road trips while spending way less than $300 on gas.
    $0.56 is the federal reimbursement for mileage. Actually, it went up to $0.575 on 1/1.
    OOOO Thank you for the information!!! I'll have to see if my work actually follows that...yaaaayyyy mileage reimbursement!

    And yeah, eff that noise. No way am I spending a full month's salary to be in your wedding. I'd rather eat, thanks.
    If they don't, you can claim the difference on your taxes when you file. My company hasn't changed their policy to reflect the new amount yet, so that's what we'll all have to do. Companies don't have to reimburse you themselves since you can claim it on your taxes, so it's something those of us who do a lot of work-related travel should to keep track of.
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • Aw hope you're talk with her went/goes well. "I can't afford it" is explanation enough. Nothing more need to be said or should be said.

    If she's a true friend and wants you up there as her friend, she will understand. If she sees you as a prop, she will push back. That'd be a huge red at for me and a sign that we were growing apart. That happens with friends over the years. You have these ah-ha moments when you realize you've grown up and they haven't. Don't waste $2,200 to just prolong the inevitable.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    AuroraRose41adettma32PrettyGirlLostMGP
  • I'm late to this, but how is this bachelorette party costing 14,000 dollars total? Are you each getting your own room. I don't understand how it would cost nearly that much (does it include airfare?)
    Girl, that is my thing, too! I am asking the MOH some questions on it right now (via email, which is kind of cowardice but since she lives on the west coast and I Chicago, and I don't have her phone number). That's the mind boggling figure to me. This is the cost breakdown I provided to her, and she said that was "accurate, and what we figured, too," for 10-12 people from Thurs-Sun. 

    Flight - $350 (minimum, depending where you're flying in from)
    Accomodations - $200, they say they're getting an AirBnB property. Haven't sent us a link, and I'm guessing we'll be sharing rooms. 
    Transportation to and from the airport - $100 (A shuttle seat is $100 round trip, though there might be cheaper ways, but still)
    Food and Alcohol at the house - $200 a piece - they want to go buy groceries and booze, then have our Friday dinner catered in/made by a chef (are you kidding). 
    "Fancy" Dinner out Saturday night - $50-$75 a piece with drinks and tip
    Two or three nights out at bars/dives/whatever - $100 
    Booze Cruise (insisted Saturday activity) - $30-40 a piece
    Gift - $20-50 (yes, MOH says this will be part of a "game)

    High end total - About $1125, and I would say give or take $100 depending how much food, booze, transportation costs. Maybe could get it down to $1000 if we talked them out of this catered sh*t Friday, found a cheaper shuttle, or got them to eliminate the activity. Who knows. Overall, I definitely feel like they are just invoicing us for whatever they (MOH and Bride) want to do and haven't ever asked us what is a reasonable amount we could all spend. So wish me luck in telling them I definitely can't afford or justify a weekend in Florida for over a grand and that it's as outrageous as you ladies have helped me realize!

  • ash209 said:
    I'm late to this, but how is this bachelorette party costing 14,000 dollars total? Are you each getting your own room. I don't understand how it would cost nearly that much (does it include airfare?)
    Girl, that is my thing, too! I am asking the MOH some questions on it right now (via email, which is kind of cowardice but since she lives on the west coast and I Chicago, and I don't have her phone number). That's the mind boggling figure to me. This is the cost breakdown I provided to her, and she said that was "accurate, and what we figured, too," for 10-12 people from Thurs-Sun. 

    Flight - $350 (minimum, depending where you're flying in from)
    Accomodations - $200, they say they're getting an AirBnB property. Haven't sent us a link, and I'm guessing we'll be sharing rooms. 
    Transportation to and from the airport - $100 (A shuttle seat is $100 round trip, though there might be cheaper ways, but still)
    Food and Alcohol at the house - $200 a piece - they want to go buy groceries and booze, then have our Friday dinner catered in/made by a chef (are you kidding). 
    "Fancy" Dinner out Saturday night - $50-$75 a piece with drinks and tip
    Two or three nights out at bars/dives/whatever - $100 
    Booze Cruise (insisted Saturday activity) - $30-40 a piece
    Gift - $20-50 (yes, MOH says this will be part of a "game)

    High end total - About $1125, and I would say give or take $100 depending how much food, booze, transportation costs. Maybe could get it down to $1000 if we talked them out of this catered sh*t Friday, found a cheaper shuttle, or got them to eliminate the activity. Who knows. Overall, I definitely feel like they are just invoicing us for whatever they (MOH and Bride) want to do and haven't ever asked us what is a reasonable amount we could all spend. So wish me luck in telling them I definitely can't afford or justify a weekend in Florida for over a grand and that it's as outrageous as you ladies have helped me realize!

    I'm willing to bet the cost of this trip that the planner is pocketing money from items that are pooled. 

    She wants $200 from 10-12 people for groceries for a weekend? That's $2,000-$2,400. I don't care if Bobby Flay is coming to the house. Fuck. That.
    Hahaha so true. I know alcohol is in there so I'm hoping that makes it a little less of an inflated guess, but I won't hold my breath. Can't wait for this MOH email reply!
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm amazed you are still going back and forth with the MOH and haven't just told the bride outright you're out.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer


    ash209 said:



    I'm late to this, but how is this bachelorette party costing 14,000 dollars total? Are you each getting your own room. I don't understand how it would cost nearly that much (does it include airfare?)

    Girl, that is my thing, too! I am asking the MOH some questions on it right now (via email, which is kind of cowardice but since she lives on the west coast and I Chicago, and I don't have her phone number). That's the mind boggling figure to me. This is the cost breakdown I provided to her, and she said that was "accurate, and what we figured, too," for 10-12 people from Thurs-Sun. 

    Flight - $350 (minimum, depending where you're flying in from)
    Accomodations - $200, they say they're getting an AirBnB property. Haven't sent us a link, and I'm guessing we'll be sharing rooms. 
    Transportation to and from the airport - $100 (A shuttle seat is $100 round trip, though there might be cheaper ways, but still)
    Food and Alcohol at the house - $200 a piece - they want to go buy groceries and booze, then have our Friday dinner catered in/made by a chef (are you kidding). 
    "Fancy" Dinner out Saturday night - $50-$75 a piece with drinks and tip
    Two or three nights out at bars/dives/whatever - $100 
    Booze Cruise (insisted Saturday activity) - $30-40 a piece
    Gift - $20-50 (yes, MOH says this will be part of a "game)

    High end total - About $1125, and I would say give or take $100 depending how much food, booze, transportation costs. Maybe could get it down to $1000 if we talked them out of this catered sh*t Friday, found a cheaper shuttle, or got them to eliminate the activity. Who knows. Overall, I definitely feel like they are just invoicing us for whatever they (MOH and Bride) want to do and haven't ever asked us what is a reasonable amount we could all spend. So wish me luck in telling them I definitely can't afford or justify a weekend in Florida for over a grand and that it's as outrageous as you ladies have helped me realize!


    I'm willing to bet the cost of this trip that the planner is pocketing money from items that are pooled. 

    She wants $200 from 10-12 people for groceries for a weekend? That's $2,000-$2,400. I don't care if Bobby Flay is coming to the house. Fuck. That.


    This.

    DH and I spend $150 or so for a WEEKS+ of groceries. . .and we are kinda food snobs.

    WTF are you all buying to eat for breakfast and lunch for 2-3 days that costs $2k-$2400k?!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Maggie0829AuroraRose41jenna8984
  • I think I'm so caught up in it because I want to be there (truly, the bride is a hoot when it has nothing to do with her wedding plans or the bachelorette party), and if it were $400-$500 bucks cheaper I'd make it work no problem. 

    I have never been the bride but I know it's not appropriate to tell her what to do, but I want to just suggest somewhere cheaper that would make going less financially difficult for me and I'm assuming everyone else, too. I feel like the MOH has made it more of a problem than the bride, and that's where I keep going back and forth on it.  
  • Honestly, the MOH hasn't provided any answers on that. Nor on how many people have 100% committed to going when myself and another bridesmaid asked. I estimated that thinking it'd be way off and she said that was "accurate" and didn't correct me.

    Again, I think the one making this so difficult is the MOH and her unwillingness to ask for help in planning or finding cheaper alternatives than it is the bride. That's why I'm having a hard time saying something to the bride since it seems to be the MOH's bidding the more I hash this out on here. She never asked any of us bridesmaids how much we could afford. 
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 2015
    When someone else is trying to spend your money for you, it's 100% appropriate to tell them what to do and where to go, no matter if that person is the bride or the MOH or some rando on the street.

    And my relationship with my friends is such that after these communications with the MOH, I'd tell the Bride, "Holy shit, friend, your MOH is planning a hell of a Bach party for you, buts it's far too expensive for me to participate in so I'd like to do something else with you. Hope you have a blast, though!"

    Then, if my friend mentioned that she's aware of the plans I'd tell her, "Well bless your heart, but we're not the Kardashians or the Real Housewives and that party is over the top. And it's shitty that you and MOH planned this without asking the rest of us what our budgets are 1st, and just expect to invoice us. No dice, honey. I love you more than my luggage but I still can't afford that trip."

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    OliveOilsMomrcher912
  • ash209 said:
    I'm late to this, but how is this bachelorette party costing 14,000 dollars total? Are you each getting your own room. I don't understand how it would cost nearly that much (does it include airfare?)
    Girl, that is my thing, too! I am asking the MOH some questions on it right now (via email, which is kind of cowardice but since she lives on the west coast and I Chicago, and I don't have her phone number). That's the mind boggling figure to me. This is the cost breakdown I provided to her, and she said that was "accurate, and what we figured, too," for 10-12 people from Thurs-Sun. 

    Flight - $350 (minimum, depending where you're flying in from)
    Accomodations - $200, they say they're getting an AirBnB property. Haven't sent us a link, and I'm guessing we'll be sharing rooms. 
    Transportation to and from the airport - $100 (A shuttle seat is $100 round trip, though there might be cheaper ways, but still)
    Food and Alcohol at the house - $200 a piece - they want to go buy groceries and booze, then have our Friday dinner catered in/made by a chef (are you kidding). 
    "Fancy" Dinner out Saturday night - $50-$75 a piece with drinks and tip
    Two or three nights out at bars/dives/whatever - $100 
    Booze Cruise (insisted Saturday activity) - $30-40 a piece
    Gift - $20-50 (yes, MOH says this will be part of a "game)

    High end total - About $1125, and I would say give or take $100 depending how much food, booze, transportation costs. Maybe could get it down to $1000 if we talked them out of this catered sh*t Friday, found a cheaper shuttle, or got them to eliminate the activity. Who knows. Overall, I definitely feel like they are just invoicing us for whatever they (MOH and Bride) want to do and haven't ever asked us what is a reasonable amount we could all spend. So wish me luck in telling them I definitely can't afford or justify a weekend in Florida for over a grand and that it's as outrageous as you ladies have helped me realize!

    I'm willing to bet the cost of this trip that the planner is pocketing money from items that are pooled. 

    She wants $200 from 10-12 people for groceries for a weekend? That's $2,000-$2,400. I don't care if Bobby Flay is coming to the house. Fuck. That.
    LOVE THIS.

    And I bet the person "coordinating" the grocery shopping trip will only buy things like chips, salsa, cold cuts, fruit salad, and boxed wine and then claim to be in an "expensive" area.
    PrettyGirlLostAuroraRose41
  • AuroraRose41AuroraRose41 New York member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    MGP said:
    ash209 said:
    I'm late to this, but how is this bachelorette party costing 14,000 dollars total? Are you each getting your own room. I don't understand how it would cost nearly that much (does it include airfare?)
    Girl, that is my thing, too! I am asking the MOH some questions on it right now (via email, which is kind of cowardice but since she lives on the west coast and I Chicago, and I don't have her phone number). That's the mind boggling figure to me. This is the cost breakdown I provided to her, and she said that was "accurate, and what we figured, too," for 10-12 people from Thurs-Sun. 

    Flight - $350 (minimum, depending where you're flying in from)
    Accomodations - $200, they say they're getting an AirBnB property. Haven't sent us a link, and I'm guessing we'll be sharing rooms. 
    Transportation to and from the airport - $100 (A shuttle seat is $100 round trip, though there might be cheaper ways, but still)
    Food and Alcohol at the house - $200 a piece - they want to go buy groceries and booze, then have our Friday dinner catered in/made by a chef (are you kidding). 
    "Fancy" Dinner out Saturday night - $50-$75 a piece with drinks and tip
    Two or three nights out at bars/dives/whatever - $100 
    Booze Cruise (insisted Saturday activity) - $30-40 a piece
    Gift - $20-50 (yes, MOH says this will be part of a "game)

    High end total - About $1125, and I would say give or take $100 depending how much food, booze, transportation costs. Maybe could get it down to $1000 if we talked them out of this catered sh*t Friday, found a cheaper shuttle, or got them to eliminate the activity. Who knows. Overall, I definitely feel like they are just invoicing us for whatever they (MOH and Bride) want to do and haven't ever asked us what is a reasonable amount we could all spend. So wish me luck in telling them I definitely can't afford or justify a weekend in Florida for over a grand and that it's as outrageous as you ladies have helped me realize!

    I'm willing to bet the cost of this trip that the planner is pocketing money from items that are pooled. 

    She wants $200 from 10-12 people for groceries for a weekend? That's $2,000-$2,400. I don't care if Bobby Flay is coming to the house. Fuck. That.
    LOVE THIS.

    And I bet the person "coordinating" the grocery shopping trip will only buy things like chips, salsa, cold cuts, fruit salad, and boxed wine and then claim to be in an "expensive" area.
    Yup! As someone who does live in an expensive area, it would definitely not cost $2k+ for a weekend's worth of food like that here. You could probably get enough food and alcohol at Costco for a weekend feeding 10 people for a quarter of that price! 

    PrettyGirlLost
  • Ugh THANK YOU all. I thought I was grossly over estimating when sending that question to the MOH, but when she said that's what she figured I was shocked! She justified it by saying that's what "food, alcohol, and getting a personal chef/catered dinner Friday will probably cost" and I still thought that was insane. Now I know I'm not out of my mind. And I live in Chicago, where everything is stupid expensive! 
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ugh THANK YOU all. I thought I was grossly over estimating when sending that question to the MOH, but when she said that's what she figured I was shocked! She justified it by saying that's what "food, alcohol, and getting a personal chef/catered dinner Friday will probably cost" and I still thought that was insane. Now I know I'm not out of my mind. And I live in Chicago, where everything is stupid expensive! 
    Honestly, I would just stop going back and forth with her-she's full of shit, and the greater issue is that she, and maybe Bride, planned this elaborate trip w/o consulting the rest of you, let alone even asking you all if you wanted to host or throw a bach party.

    I can't recall, but did you email the MOH yet and just tell her that her trip is too expensive for you and that you won't be attending or participating in financing it?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    AuroraRose41
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