Psycho

crackktheskyy · February 2015

@novella1186 : ugh, what a mess. I have no good advice, other than to agree with PPs that if there's a way to free yourself from your dad's money, I would do that. I'm sorry he's being so difficult. I can't imagine the stress of trying to find ways to communicate with him while you're trying to plan a wedding. That's just terrible.

Here's a photo of a cute puppy because...well...I don't know but I can't help but to smile when I look at her!

@CMGragain : Sort of off-topic, but you don't happen to receive calls from "US Pharmacy," do you? They are an illegal offshore company that tries to sell prescription medication (obviously, they really just want your CC number.) They call my phone 5-6 times per day. I have asked to be taken off their lists, to speak to their managers, etc. I have asked numerous times times for them to stop calling and they just laugh and hang up on me and call again later. I've reported them to the FCC and the DEA who know that it's an ongoing problem, but they can't do anything about it. It's so frustrating. I'm always polite to first time callers, but if your company calls me multiple times per day after I've requested not to be phoned, it's harassment, yo.

crackktheskyy · February 2015

Whoops, double posted!

FiancB · February 2015

Novella, I'm so sorry this is an ongoing problem. JFC we know who your sister takes after, that's for sure.

I think that, no matter what, I would not take any more "offers" from your dad. It's not worth the stress. If it's any comfort, I was surprised at how many declines we had. We invited like 80 people, all people we were pretty close to, and while I figured I would have a lot of declines from people that lived a long ways away, we were surprised how many people close by declined. Almost all of H's coworkers, quite a bit of family, etc. While you should never count on declines, know that the numbers you're looking at that includes everyone invited are highly unlikely to come to pass. The 20% rule does indeed seem to be pretty accurate, and this was without us inviting a bunch of super distant relatives and whatnot.

We got a loan. I know that's also generally considered bad advice, but we had some major life changes come up and we wanted to have a cushion. We didn't end up really using it and now we're aggressively paying it off. This will generally give you a better interest rate than a CC, or if you can get a 0% offer on a CC with a large limit or a line of credit maybe consider that.

But yeah overall I'd cut costs and absolutely back way off from your dad. At this point I'd take the same approach I did with mine: if he shows up, cool, if not, cool. Let him know you will be taking it from here and avoid any more engagement. And personally I really avoided contact with my parents as much as possible for a while after the wedding. Like you said, these are the parents I get and they'll never be anything else. Not dealing with anything nearly as serious as what you are, but you get the idea.

thisismynickname2 · February 2015

I've been just observing all of the drama, and have no advice, but I do want to say I'm really sorry you have to deal with this. I get really frustrated just when people don't show any sense of logic (i.e. adding guests = more catering), so I have no idea how to handle people who are this far off the rails and ragey. My mind boggles. Sending hugs your way.

NavyBlue143 · February 2015

GoFundMe time!

Kidding. Mostly. If you had a GFM I would give to it because your dad is being a snatchface and you're not one.

My mom was veeeeeery similar about the wedding, just finding things to criticize and attack me over and only cared because it meant she couldn't show off to her friends. Not letting her contribute was the smartest thing I ever did. I'm sorry your dad is crazypants.

lovegood90 · February 2015

Super late to this thread, but I'm sorry you're still dealing with this! I had some hope after you said he sort of defended you in your last thread.

Echoing PPs who said decline the $, don't invite his friends and keep fighting the good fight!

ashley8918 · February 2015

MagicInk said:

CMGragain said:

MagicInk said:

CMGragain said:
When solicitors telephone my daughter, she just hands the phone to her delighted 19-month-old toddler, who gurgles and laughs into the phone.

Um...I used to be one of those people who called. Not because I wanted to or it was my dream job but rent needed to get paid and it was a temp job. People who handed their phone to their kid were annoying.

I get it, no one wants to talk to a telemarketer. Screen your calls, or just say "I'm not interested, please place on your do not call list, thank you". Cause you know, it's another human on the end of that phone line who is just trying to pay their bills.

I don't find what your daughter is doing cute or funny at all.

Like, this works? I have received more than 30 calls from telemarketers - all from the same company - and I have tried this. It doesn't work. They don't care.

We are on the federal "Do Not Call" list. This means that it is illegal to solicit someone who is on this list. I have explained this to many telemarketers. They don't care.

Many telemarketers are from overseas, so they are not subject to our laws. They are often hawking scams. "Our computer has detected that your computer has a virus. For $$$ we will fix it." Sound familiar?

When my mother lay dying in the hospice, the phone rang. It was a telemarketer trying to sell her a new hearing aid!

I am home during the day, and I am the one who has to go to the phone and answer these incessant calls. I make no apologies. If you are rude enough to bother me, even after I have repeatedly told you to put me on your do not call list, then my patience is at an end. FUCK OFF, TELEMARKETERS!!

Fellow human beings deserve respect. Just say "No thank you" and hang up. Don't be cute and hand the phone off to a child. They can't hang up if there is a human on the line.

If people said FUCK OFF TEACHERS, you'd be all up in arms. Disrespecting and being cruel to people because you don't like their chosen profession is fucked up and mean. They're humans trying to get their bills paid just working a job.

Or FUCK OFF CHURCH ORGANISTS

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