Lazy bridesmaid

climbingsingle · February 2015

OP, glad you were able to listen to the advice. Stick around!

[Deleted User] · February 2015

delujm0 · February 2015

Good for you for taking this so well, OP.

Here's the problem with "requiring" people to attend parties. Parties tend to be more fun when the attendees actually WANT to be there rather than feeling obliged to show up. If you want an OOT bachelorette party, that's fine. But you have to then understand that not everyone you want there will be able to attend.

Two of my 4 BMs didn't make it to my B-party. One lived OOT and was a SAHM to a 3 month old at the time. No way did i expect her to leave her kid and get on a plane to attend a party. The other one was overseas for her job for 4 months. She actually didn't even make it to the shower. And i didn't care and completely understood. Your wedding, and the related events, are more important to you than they are to anyone else. that's just life.

You might want to have a word with you MOH as well - if she is planning events without input from the other BMs and then sending them a bill for "their share" afterwards, that is not cool. Budgets should be asked for, confidentially, ahead of time, and then stuck to.

madamerwin · February 2015

novella1186 said:

huh... I started reading this expecting a total train wreck follow by a DD. It's kind of awesome (and a pretty damn nice change of pace) to see the OP actually take in the advice, not get offended, and realize some mistakes were made.

I'm bored with it... but really happy at the same time... lol

OP, don't feel bad. There was stuff that I thought was a great idea too until I joined the boards (I was originally going to do a donation as favors, for example. Yikes). Stick around! You seem to have a great attitude, and this can be a really fun place.

Same here. I thought this was going to be a complete shitshow.

Hats off to OP for sticking through it and not accusing people of being mean and/or DDing the post... And don't be embarrassed! I thought honeymoon funds seemed like a good idea before lurking here for a year. The regulars on this board give great advice, stick around!

thisismynickname2 · February 2015

pinkrevenge said:

But frankly? I don't care. I don't know these girls, they're not my friends, and I only have to deal with them for one day, a day I'll be focused looking good in photos, making it to things on time, and having fun. I've been with my friend for 20 years. We've gone through puberty, crushes, deaths, births, failed relationships, successful ones, and so much more. I know she's not going to take it personally if I can't spend 14 hours in a car one weekend to go "wooo!" with the other girls. So those other ladies? They can suck a fucking egg.

Tell your MOH to chill her nuts.

I can't resist!

MadHops21 · February 2015

3 pages, but it turned out well. I like this. It's a nice surprise.

kellyem2 · February 2015

Just going to throw this out there: you aren't the one throwing the bachelorette party. Your MOH is the hostess and the party is in your honor.

Even if your MOH specifically asked you to say something to this other girl there is absolutely no reason for you to talk to this girl about the goings-on planning the party. It's rude. You didn't make the plans and you aren't in charge. These are grown women. If your MOH has an issue with the finances of the party she's throwing then she needs to talk to the other bridesmaids and get it settled. If it can't be settled, then the party should be cancelled and something more appropriate for the given circumstances should be planned.

Regardless of what you've read, you aren't supposed to pick bridesmaids based on what they're going to do for you during the wedding. Their main job is to offer emotional support and good wishes during this important moment in your life. This girl is your friend. Remember why you asked her in the first place and let this other stuff go!

Lazy bridesmaid

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