I do believe that your invitation advice is quite valuable, but you've been here a long time and have had plenty of time to learn about the shift in attitudes. These days, clutching your pearls at people who don't fit old cultural norms that only affect them (such as tattoos, makeup, having children, etc) is very offensive. It's no longer normal or appropriate to judge people on individual, personal life choices.
So again, if we ever met in person, maybe you would avoid me or say "Oh no, you can't help me" while looking me up and down with worry or disdain, but I would never come up to you and say "Hey you old bat, can I help you find your White Diamonds perfume and a plastic bag to cover your hair?"
Though I got more compliments on my pink hair from older women than any other group of people. "Brave" and "Stunning" were the words they most often used, with big smiles.
I am a lady. I would never treat anyone so rudely.
You need to give this up. Stop blaming your age. You are the same age as my mother and I'm sure many other poster's mothers and mine sure doesn't act like you. My mom loves my tattoos, she has purple streaks in her hair while being a professional travel agent, her best friend is an ex-stripper 20 years her junior, she accepts everyone and befriends everyone. And she grew up in the exact same time, so please stop acting like your birth year has any effect on how you view people.
You need to give this up. Stop blaming your age. You are the same age as my mother and I'm sure many other poster's mothers and mine sure doesn't act like you. My mom loves my tattoos, she has purple streaks in her hair while being a professional travel agent, her best friend is an ex-stripper 20 years her junior, she accepts everyone and befriends everyone. And she grew up in the exact same time, so please stop acting like your birth year has any effect on how you view people.
This. My mom is 65 and I feel like she could not be more different from you. You know who cuts my mom's hair? My friend that is covered in tattoos and has had hair every color of the rainbow. My mom even lets this friend do her makeup, and on the day of my wedding too! Imagine that. She has embraced all of my friends from all walks of life and has never judged them. This has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with your prejudices.
CMGragain said:It's funny, because when I first came to TK and saw OP as a reg I thought she was interesting and smart and that we were lucky to have her stick around. But I feel like the more I see of her, the more that I feel she epitomizes the stereotype of ignorant old ladies. Anyway, as for make up, I DO understand some of the weariness of getting make-up or fashion advice from people who appear to be SO outside of your own comfort zone. I'm a total plain Jane myself, and my glamour routine is almost nonexistent. So I get that. But instead of seeing it as "they are so different, they can never understand what I want" see it as "they know SO much about this, they should easily be able to give me what I want!" I also use Diorshow waterproof, and love it; but I haven't really found a simple and easy make-up remover routine that works. Right now I use Burt's Bees make-up remover wipes, and it's good enough, but I find that I often wake up with make up smudged under my eyes. But the wipes are just the simplest for to bring into my nightly routine (I've often gone to sleep with my make up on since I was too lazy to use a cream or anything to wash my face).
But..I AM an old lady (64), and AM ignorant of a lot of things - like makeup and current styles! That is why I asked the question in the first place. I never claimed to be perfect.
There is often some truth in stereotypes. Don't you think my opinion is just as valid as the opinions of other Knotties? Am I not worthy of notice, just because I am older? Don't you think that there might be older guests at a wedding that share my opinions?
I like helping young brides, especially with invitations since that is no longer taught in schools. I have never knowingly disrespected anyone. I think it is interesting that people think it is OK to criticize me about clutching my pearls, but if I make a similar comment about tattoos, that is somehow wrong. I'll never understand the double standard.
Peace.
---------------------
....this is shocking to me, and I mean that honestly. Sixty four really is not all that old these days, and not what I would attribute to some of your more out of touch responses.
I have tried to defend CMGr in the past because I think something we are quick to jump on her.
But there is no defending this. And frankly, I am not surprised given what happened when CMGr (the original) said GBCK the first time and had her account deleted. I can't be the only one who is still around from when that mess went down.
Well, when I'm not welcome or wanted, I leave. Goodbye. Congratulations.
Somebody please help a sista out and post a mega eyeroll gif here.
(I do see KatWag beat me. But still.)
CMGr, I don't think you as a person are unwelcome (although that's my semi-newbie assessment, with no real idea of the past history Kat mentioned). What's unwelcome, I think, is your attitude towards someone who doesn't conform to your idea of "normal" and your lack of budging ON that attitude.
My dad is 60, and grew up in the South in the Civil Rights era. He claims to be "open-minded" (quotes because he's not). Even with his pretty bigoted upbringing and very traditional worldview, not ever would he deign to say "these people who are not like me are not someone I am comfortable dealing with." I don't think your age is any excuse for that attitude.
I have tried to defend CMGr in the past because I think something we are quick to jump on her.
But there is no defending this. And frankly, I am not surprised given what happened when CMGr (the original) said GBCK the first time and had her account deleted. I can't be the only one who is still around from when that mess went down.
I have tried to defend CMGr in the past because I think something we are quick to jump on her.
But there is no defending this. And frankly, I am not surprised given what happened when CMGr (the original) said GBCK the first time and had her account deleted. I can't be the only one who is still around from when that mess went down.
It was about 2 years ago, I think. Maybe Maggie or Lynda can fill in some of the wholes, I was a lurker at the time.
I don't remember how the thread started but CMGr is very involved in her church. And she played the Organ for the church. She was hired to play for a funeral, but when she was hired she wasn't told the details surrounding the funeral.
I guess the funeral was for a stillborn baby. And CMGr had a problem with that. She didn't like the way the mother was making a huge scene. There were horrible comments made about tiny clothes and the tiny coffin. CMGr didn't think the funeral should be taking place because the baby was born dead.
Obviously, people were really really offended. And, on a less important note, people told her she had no place to comment since she was only a vendor, hired to preform a service.
CMGr got all mad at us. We didn't understand her church, the dynamics of the situation, etc. So she said GBCK. Had her account deleted and was gone for months. When she came back, there had been a big exodus from the knot so a bunch of regs had left and don't think anyone ever asked what caused her to come back.
CMGr, I don't think anyone wants you to leave or thinks poorly of you. I surely don't. I think unfortunately some of the things you say come across in a different manner than what you originally intended. I think you blame a lot on your age, which to be honest, 64 is not old in the least.
It was about 2 years ago, I think. Maybe Maggie or Lynda can fill in some of the wholes, I was a lurker at the time.
I don't remember how the thread started but CMGr is very involved in her church. And she played the Organ for the church. She was hired to play for a funeral, but when she was hired she wasn't told the details surrounding the funeral.
I guess the funeral was for a stillborn baby. And CMGr had a problem with that. She didn't like the way the mother was making a huge scene. There were horrible comments made about tiny clothes and the tiny coffin. CMGr didn't think the funeral should be taking place because the baby was born dead.
Obviously, people were really really offended. And, on a less important note, told her she had no place no comment since she was only a vendor, hired to preform a service.
CMGr got all mad at us. We didn't understand her church, the dynamics of the situation, etc. So she said GBCK. Had her account deleted and was gone for months. When she came back, there had been a big exodus from the knot so a bunch of regs had left and don't think anyone ever asked what caused her to come back.
OMG. That's just horrible. How can you criticize the way someone else chooses to mourn their loss? I couldn't even imagine how that mother would be feeling. She's coping the best way that works for her. And the piano player needs to keep her yap shut.
I was gonna comment on how my mother has a much more conservative basic style while I'm tattooed and have purple hair yet we get our hair chopped by the same lady because she's a professional who can see the differences in us and give us each what we need and like.
But fucking hell. How can someone have such meanness in them to criticize a grieving parent?
It was about 2 years ago, I think. Maybe Maggie or Lynda can fill in some of the wholes, I was a lurker at the time.
I don't remember how the thread started but CMGr is very involved in her church. And she played the Organ for the church. She was hired to play for a funeral, but when she was hired she wasn't told the details surrounding the funeral.
I guess the funeral was for a stillborn baby. And CMGr had a problem with that. She didn't like the way the mother was making a huge scene. There were horrible comments made about tiny clothes and the tiny coffin. CMGr didn't think the funeral should be taking place because the baby was born dead.
Obviously, people were really really offended. And, on a less important note, told her she had no place no comment since she was only a vendor, hired to preform a service.
CMGr got all mad at us. We didn't understand her church, the dynamics of the situation, etc. So she said GBCK. Had her account deleted and was gone for months. When she came back, there had been a big exodus from the knot so a bunch of regs had left and don't think anyone ever asked what caused her to come back.
Still lurking. You are a liar. I left the knot for a few months because my mother was dying, anf the Knot was undergoing changes, banning some members without proper notification. I came back after the Knotr cleaned up it's act and my mother died.
Liar!
Do not misquote me. Do not make up stories about me. Go fuck yourself.
I've got to agree with CMGr here. Yes, she said all of that, but it was way before the last exodus and she stuck around after it. She GBCk'd with the exodus after everything was said and done and comments that were made to the regs who left. She was pissed about the way TK handled everything and asked at that point to have her account deleted.
Thank you. The funeral in question was not for a still born baby. It was for a 20 week old fetus. The mother was a hard core drug user who already had four children that social services had placed with their grandmother, who was a good friend of mine. Most people didn't even know the mother was pregnant. Not exactly as you described it, is it? Yes, it made me uncomfortable to play at that funeral. No, I never said anything to the family about my feeling.
Still lurking. You are a liar. I left the knot for a few months because my mother was dying, anf the Knot was undergoing changes, banning some members without proper notification. I came back after the Knotr cleaned up it's act and my mother died.
Liar!
Do not misquote me. Do not make up stories about me. Go fuck yourself.
Still lurking. You are a liar. I left the knot for a few months because my mother was dying, anf the Knot was undergoing changes, banning some members without proper notification. I came back after the Knotr cleaned up it's act and my mother died.
Liar!
Do not misquote me. Do not make up stories about me. Go fuck yourself.
Still lurking. You are a liar. I left the knot for a few months because my mother was dying, anf the Knot was undergoing changes, banning some members without proper notification. I came back after the Knotr cleaned up it's act and my mother died.
Liar!
Do not misquote me. Do not make up stories about me. Go fuck yourself.
That is not very ladylike.
YOU are no lady. Goodnight.
Ah, busted. Now everyone knows about my secret penis.
Still lurking. You are a liar. I left the knot for a few months because my mother was dying, anf the Knot was undergoing changes, banning some members without proper notification. I came back after the Knotr cleaned up it's act and my mother died.
Liar!
Do not misquote me. Do not make up stories about me. Go fuck yourself.
Re: Cosmetic advice - NWR
Funny is subjective, so that doesn't really matter does it?
But I feel like the more I see of her, the more that I feel she epitomizes the stereotype of ignorant old ladies.
Anyway, as for make up, I DO understand some of the weariness of getting make-up or fashion advice from people who appear to be SO outside of your own comfort zone. I'm a total plain Jane myself, and my glamour routine is almost nonexistent. So I get that. But instead of seeing it as "they are so different, they can never understand what I want" see it as "they know SO much about this, they should easily be able to give me what I want!"
I also use Diorshow waterproof, and love it; but I haven't really found a simple and easy make-up remover routine that works. Right now I use Burt's Bees make-up remover wipes, and it's good enough, but I find that I often wake up with make up smudged under my eyes. But the wipes are just the simplest for to bring into my nightly routine (I've often gone to sleep with my make up on since I was too lazy to use a cream or anything to wash my face).
But..I AM an old lady (64), and AM ignorant of a lot of things - like makeup and current styles! That is why I asked the question in the first place. I never claimed to be perfect.
There is often some truth in stereotypes. Don't you think my opinion is just as valid as the opinions of other Knotties? Am I not worthy of notice, just because I am older? Don't you think that there might be older guests at a wedding that share my opinions?
I like helping young brides, especially with invitations since that is no longer taught in schools. I have never knowingly disrespected anyone. I think it is interesting that people think it is OK to criticize me about clutching my pearls, but if I make a similar comment about tattoos, that is somehow wrong. I'll never understand the double standard.
Peace.
---------------------
....this is shocking to me, and I mean that honestly. Sixty four really is not all that old these days, and not what I would attribute to some of your more out of touch responses.
I was gonna comment on how my mother has a much more conservative basic style while I'm tattooed and have purple hair yet we get our hair chopped by the same lady because she's a professional who can see the differences in us and give us each what we need and like.
But fucking hell. How can someone have such meanness in them to criticize a grieving parent?
Liar!
Do not misquote me.
Do not make up stories about me.
Go fuck yourself.
Not exactly as you described it, is it?
Yes, it made me uncomfortable to play at that funeral. No, I never said anything to the family about my feeling.