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strippers and bachelor parties

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Re: strippers and bachelor parties

  • littlepeplittlepep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I definitely don't care about FI going to strip clubs. He doesn't really like them anyway, but it wouldn't bother me. 

    I guess I feel like if he wanted to be with someone else, he wouldn't be marrying me. It's that simple. And if he was going to cheat on me, he do it anyway. 

    Getting turned on by something else doesn't make you a bad person unless you act on it by cheating.
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    I think the issue w/ strippers can be on a few levels.   For some, the teaching is that it's lust and adultery if the dude is looking at the other woman and fantasizing about her in any way.   And while that isn't my personal belief, it's one that I respect.

    My feeling on strippers is that I trust DH and know that he isn't going to cheat on me and I consider cheating to include kissing.    

    I think the important thing in this is that both people have an understanding of what is considered OK long before the party.
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  • flyingfoxesflyingfoxes member
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    I also don't care - although admittedly he doesn't have any interest in going, and he doesn't really watch porn much (also another thing I don't care about, and actually would like to watch it together with him more).   I think it would be a problem if it were a regular thing, but if he were to go to a bachelor party or something, zero fucks given here. 
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  • MizLiz3MizLiz3 member
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    I don't think I would have a problem with it, especially if it's for a bach party.  However, I know my FI would feel super uncomfortable about it and he certainly isn't doing it every week.  I think that's where I would have a problem with it.  I would be really upset if he lied to me about it, and I found out later (because LIES).
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  • redoryxredoryx member
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    MizLiz3 said:

    I don't think I would have a problem with it, especially if it's for a bach party.  However, I know my FI would feel super uncomfortable about it and he certainly isn't doing it every week.  I think that's where I would have a problem with it.  I would be really upset if he lied to me about it, and I found out later (because LIES).

    My SO doesn't really get the point of strippers so I know it won't be a regular thing which is probably why I give zero fucks. As he put it "What's more awkward than sitting around with your guy friends getting boners together?" 

    Oh I love him. LOL.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited June 2015
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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
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    I don't care, either. Heck, I've been to strip clubs without FI a few times (Summer of '10, my friends bought me a dance in the private room with "Starr. Double R.")

    I trust him completely. Him and his boys are going to DR next weekend on his bachelor party, and I'm pretty sure strippers will be involved at some point. I don't give a rats ass. Let him live!
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  • anjemonanjemon member
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    My FI actually had his bachelor party this weekend. They were going to go to a strip club, but that didn't end up happening. I told him I'll have to take him some other time because he was disappointed about not getting to go. 

    I was and am totally okay with the idea of him going to a strip club. It does make me a little worried, but not because I don't trust my FI. It's because my self esteem isn't super great and I worry very, very slightly that he'll see a hot babe and realize I'm not as sexy as he thinks. But that's a stupid worry that just lives in my head and is in no way the reality of my FI. He loves me and he's seen me and other people naked. The rest of my head knows that, there's just a stupid little part that is secretly glad he didn't get to see naked chicks this weekend.

    But even with my stupid little worry, I'm okay with him going to strip clubs. As others have said, if it was a frequent thing we might have more issues. But he only goes occasionally usually as part of a bachelor party. And I trust him to come home to me. And if he wants to do that for fun, it's his deal.
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  • sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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    I guess I am in the minority here. I am not comfortable with H going to strip clubs at all. Strip clubs, in general, just make me really uncomfortable. That being said, I would never forbid him from going. Lapdances I am 1000000% against. Having some naked lady grinding up on H anywhere else would be cheating, why wouldn't it be in a strip club?

     

    Also porn? H doesn't watch porn. It just doesn't do anything for him.

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  • KahlylaKahlyla member
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    edited April 2015
    Strip clubs don't bother me (other than being so expensive and usually with NO BEER ON TAP! ahem). But my husband's only been a handful of times, as have I (we've gone together a couple of times and separately a couple of times). Neither of us really had bachelor/bachelorette parties.

    We have a similar take on them, which is that the clubs that are intensely focused on 'one girl up on stage at one time, all eyes on her' can be a little uncomfortable (with some people in the crowd getting weird and the place being all quiet and stuff), whereas a good, fun club with lots of sexy stuff going on at once can be a lot more fun, and we both enjoy the energy. At my best friend's bachelor party, we didn't have much of a view of the stage, but we were seated right in the "thong corridor" where all the women were taking guys back into the private rooms - so lots of breasts and bums to look at while we just chilled and talked with our buddies, it was pretty sweet.

    We try to see the local burlesque troupe when we can for this reason, and we both lusted after the sexy-fairy dance club on True Blood. ;) If more places in general could be like that, it would be pretty rad.

    We both watch porn, separately and together.
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  • lovemesomemonsterlovemesomemonster member
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    If FI wants to go watch some boobies then he can have a fabulous old time paying to see that, I could really care less. I have no boobs, and I don't want to pay for any, so I have told him to go ahead and check them out if you want, not going to see them at home! FI is also generally shy around people he doesn't know until he's drinking, then he's everyone's best friend. I find it funny that he gets super friendly and every girl in the bar looking for a hook up thinks they are going to get lucky with him. Keeps his ego happy, he knows he's still got it, I get entertainment from watching how clueless he is when he thinks he's just "making friends" and guess what!? He comes home with me at the end of the night...

    As long as you aren't acting on anything I see no problem with checking out, talking to, watching nakedness or sex as long as you aren't joining in. I am not his mom and I don't want to be, if I couldn't trust him or felt like I needed to make "rules" for him I wouldn't be with him.

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  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2015
      To me, nudity is art. You can have a favorite painting, but still be able to look at others and appreciate them. 
    I never understood the belief that men will cheat on their women if they go to a strip club. I used to work in one, and yeah, there were always guys like that, but I assure you, you could spot him from a mile away, so odds are his wife knows that he isn't being faithful. As a stripper, you always looked for easy money.  The older gentleman whose wife died, the divorced, etc.  These people don't have to share finances, so they are much more comfortable spending time with you. And if you are smart, all you really will be doing is talking. 90% of the job is talking.  
       I would never care if my H went to a strip club, unless I were pregnant. I just know I'd be a ball of emotion, and would have self esteem issues, that aren't my typical behavior. All the other times, I want him to spend his money. I hate when people waste their time, going to a strip club when it is not their bag.  That's like going to a car dealership and acting like you are interested in the car, but only there for the free hot dogs. I think it is wasting people's time and rude.   Spending money, and throwing money away are two different things, though.  If he spent more than $300 I would be mad.
      I can honestly say that my libido was really low for the time I worked in the club. It is like working in a Mexican restaurant, and wanting a taco when you got home. I know that from the girls, standpoint, they just want to go home after work, and put on sweatpants. The pros you can spot from a mile away, and if you are willing to pay for sex, not going to a strip club won't stop you.

    And I just realized how many analogies I put in my post. 
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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
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    hellosweetie1015 said:

    sophhabobopha said:

    Okay so.. People who don't watch porn, what do you masturbte to? Erotica? I can dig that.

    I put on something to act as a "noise cover" (Netflix or DVRed stuff) and then ignore it and make up stuff in my head.
    Oh, okay.I'm very, visual, I guess.
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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    sophhabobopha said:

    hellosweetie1015 said:

    sophhabobopha said:

    Okay so.. People who don't watch porn, what do you masturbte to? Erotica? I can dig that.

    I put on something to act as a "noise cover" (Netflix or DVRed stuff) and then ignore it and make up stuff in my head.
    Oh, okay.I'm very, visual, I guess.
    Me too. I can make up stuff in my head but...I like a visual to get me there.
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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
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    MagicInk said:

    sophhabobopha said:

    hellosweetie1015 said:

    sophhabobopha said:

    Okay so.. People who don't watch porn, what do you masturbte to? Erotica? I can dig that.

    I put on something to act as a "noise cover" (Netflix or DVRed stuff) and then ignore it and make up stuff in my head.
    Oh, okay.I'm very, visual, I guess.
    Me too. I can make up stuff in my head but...I like a visual to get me there.
    I can't make up stuff in my head. :(
    I'm broken.
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  • redoryxredoryx member
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    MagicInk said:

    sophhabobopha said:

    MagicInk said:

    sophhabobopha said:

    hellosweetie1015 said:

    sophhabobopha said:

    Okay so.. People who don't watch porn, what do you masturbte to? Erotica? I can dig that.

    I put on something to act as a "noise cover" (Netflix or DVRed stuff) and then ignore it and make up stuff in my head.
    Oh, okay.I'm very, visual, I guess.
    Me too. I can make up stuff in my head but...I like a visual to get me there.
    I can't make up stuff in my head. :(
    I'm broken.
    No you're not. You're young. Eventually "making up stuff" in your head will just be remembering other things. And that'll be called your spank bank.
    QFT
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  • hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 member
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    sophhabobopha said:

    hellosweetie1015 said:

    sophhabobopha said:

    Okay so.. People who don't watch porn, what do you masturbte to? Erotica? I can dig that.

    I put on something to act as a "noise cover" (Netflix or DVRed stuff) and then ignore it and make up stuff in my head.
    Oh, okay.I'm very, visual, I guess.
    Yeah, I'm not at all visual hahaha. I have too many worlds in my head that are much more interesting than the worlds in porn or erotica. Plus I have complete control of where the stuff in my head is going.

    Not broken! Not me, not you, not nobody. 
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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    hellosweetie1015 said:

    hellosweetie1015 said:

    sophhabobopha said:

    Okay so.. People who don't watch porn, what do you masturbte to? Erotica? I can dig that.

    I put on something to act as a "noise cover" (Netflix or DVRed stuff) and then ignore it and make up stuff in my head.
    Oh, okay.I'm very, visual, I guess.


    Yeah, I'm not at all visual hahaha. I have too many worlds in my head that are much more interesting than the worlds in porn or erotica. Plus I have complete control of where the stuff in my head is going.

    Not broken! Not me, not you, not nobody. 


    Bolded and big lettered for truth.

    Not broken. Your brain works one way, someone else's works another, and it's all good. Just like some people like to be tied up and other people freak out at the very idea. Not broken. Some people like cake and some people dislike cake.
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  • Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
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    H only goes for Bachelor parties (and maybe spring break one year). I know its tradition so it doesn't bother me. 

    But what does both me would be a private dance or show (mostly because him and his friends told me about a private show they got once and I rather he doesn't do that again), I would prefer to know vs finding out and lastly what bothers me the most is the double standard. I know H would be so upset if I went to a male strip show and I don't like how its more socially acceptable for men to go see naked women then for women to see naked men (not that I need to go to a male strip show... again just the double standard of it bothers me).
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  • charcoalandblushcharcoalandblush member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    bubblegum1309 said:

    H only goes for Bachelor parties (and maybe spring break one year). I know its tradition so it doesn't bother me. 


    But what does both me would be a private dance or show (mostly because him and his friends told me about a private show they got once and I rather he doesn't do that again), I would prefer to know vs finding out and lastly what bothers me the most is the double standard. I know H would be so upset if I went to a male strip show and I don't like how its more socially acceptable for men to go see naked women then for women to see naked men (not that I need to go to a male strip show... again just the double standard of it bothers me).

    I agree, this would bother me a lot. I'm lucky in that DF doesn't care either. He knows we're going to a strip club for my bach party (possibly multiple... possibly one with dudes and one with ladies...) and is totally fine with it. But if he said I wasn't "allowed" to go, then I wouldn't be ok with him going.

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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
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    I am not comfortable with my husband paying women to take their clothes off. That's fine with him, because he thinks men that go to strip clubs are pathetic.



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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
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    Anyone with strip club stories? My guy friend went to a strip club once in San Francisco. He told me he was going to lick the pussy that was in his face, but it smelled bad.

    Ugh.



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  • sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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    Dreamergirl8812 said:

    Anyone with strip club stories? My guy friend went to a strip club once in San Francisco. He told me he was going to lick the pussy that was in his face, but it smelled bad.

    Ugh.


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  • redoryxredoryx member
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    My friend and I went to a strip club with our male friend who was a regular. He went off to get a lap dance, leaving she and I just hanging out alone and a bit later a bouncer came over to ask where our friend was. As it happens he was sitting back at the bar so we could point him out to the bouncer but it was a very odd conversation. I wasn't sure if the bouncer was just making sure he hadn't, like, abandoned us or whatever. 
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