Confessions

larrygaga · April 2015

jenna8984 said:
I do the technique known as "attempt to fold in half, attempt to fold in half again, fast circular motion with my arms so it wraps up sort of like a garden hose around my forearms"

lolo883 said:
Fitted sheets - find the top two corners. Put them over your hands like you are a giant bed monster. Stretch them out wide then quickly fold together as "neatly"as you can. Fold one corner over the other corner, so it's half inside out, like when you roll socks. Find the fold in the center and try to shame/even it out. You should have whatever the depth of your sheet (12-18"or so) folded over around the top and side, and one corner snugly fit inside the other corner.

The bottom is still a mess. This is where it gets tricky. I use a combination of Jiujutsu, football tackling, and origami to get the bottom half looking somewhat like the top without fucking up what I just did. I find it easiest to lay it out on the floor, until it looks like a somewhat mangled pita bread. Edges folded over for the 12-18" around 3 sides, nice straight center crease down the middle. It WON'T be perfect, but it never will be.

From there, fold each side 1/4 in lengthwise to meet at the center, then the whole thing in half, so any non-straight edges are tucked inside. Then fold up your long, narrow sheet into however many folds it takes to fit in your closet.

See when you really stand back and compare the two methods.......One is more efficient and the other one takes 4 physicis engineers and 2 magicians

madamerwin · April 2015

I kill house plants. I can manage the vegetable garden, but no matter what I do, house plants die. Also, I can't keep flowers alive in any setting, inside or out.

Jigsaw puzzles.

I also do not understand how Twitter works (or why people use it). I also don't do the Instagram.

I don't understand how one goes about investing money in the stock market. I have a 401K, but I am not sure how it works.

I also have terrible hand-eye coordination when it comes to hitting balls with sticks. Golf, hockey, softball, tennis... Nope.

I gave up folding fitted sheets years ago. I just wad them up in a ball.

buttercup1958 · April 2015

The most embarrassing is I don't know to floss my teeth successfully. I always get frustrated and stop after a minor or so.

jdluvr06 · April 2015

I can't walk in heels. Well that isn't entirely true. I can walk in boots with heels but for some reason just regular heels make me fall on my ass.

littlepep · April 2015

jdluvr06 said:
I can't walk in heels. Well that isn't entirely true. I can walk in boots with heels but for some reason just regular heels make me fall on my ass.

I can't either. I always look ridiculous and like I am in pain. Mostly because I am in pain.

I wish I did better with them because they look so amazing on other people.

wandajune6 · April 2015

I suck at heels.

I got drunk at work today. Blame my boss/CEO.

I just ran into THE ex with his new girlfriend. And accidentally mentioned that she looks more like me than my (identical) twin does. She growled. He suggested coffee later. Asshole.

I just ordered that curling iron.

I never learned how to apply mascara correctly. My lashes are blonde so I need it to go to the root to look right but can't do it without making a mess.

jenna8984 · April 2015

@hellosweetie1015 Ok your fitted sheet plan is borderline genius.

hellosweetie1015 · April 2015

jenna8984 said:
hellosweetie1015 Ok your fitted sheet plan is borderline genius.

It is rather brilliant, if I do say so myself. Plus you can buy a decent white fitted fairly inexpensively, and it can be bleached no problem so it's super easy to keep clean. And - fucking ANY color looks nice with white. One could conceivably change to a different flat sheet color each time the fitted was washed, and it would ALWAYS look put together.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

For beachy waves, I hold my curling iron (standard kind with a clamp) at the top of my head, tip pointed down. Then I wrap each chunk of hair around the barrel, over the top of the clamp. Works just as well as the clampless wand, but without having to spend the money on a second iron.

LadyMillil · April 2015

I can curl my hair and put it in a ponytail, but I can't do any other styling.

I can't cook fish. It always dries out.

I can parallel park perfectly safe, about 3 feet away from the curb.

FiancB · April 2015

I also can't figure out stick shifts. I've tried a number of times. I can manage a tractor, but those don't go fast or need to park or need to go up many hills.

I can't with zippers. I've ruined so many.

I kinda can't wrap my idea around what it would be like to have a brother, if that makes sense. I have two sisters. The idea of having boys and girls vs boys OR girls, or being an only child, doesn't make sense to me on some basic level.

WinstonsGirl · April 2015

amelisha said:

jenna8984 said:
@amelisha I have all the lefty problems too! Lighters, can openers, scissors, measuring cups.
I hate liquid measuring cups. I want some left-handed ones. And I want a mug with the design on the proper side.

I'm pretty good with scissors now but I hate curling ribbon for gifts. And I bought one of those Starfrit can openers that goes on the top instead of the side of the can, which also helps. But I'm one of those people who can't do anything at all right-handed. I play every sport left-handed, guitar, video game controllers infuriate me because they feel "wrong"...

We have these ones, from BBB. Would they work for you?? Measurements are printed on the sides and inside.

arrippa said:
I have no idea how to get my hair straight. Even with blow drying and straightener, my hair always has frizz.
What I want

What I have

What kind of straightener do you have?? My hair looks like that when I had a cheap one from Walmart. It didn't get hot enough for my hair. Once I ponied up for an expensive ceramic one that I can heat up to ~400F, everything is smooth and sleek. I also only straighten small sections too, cos my hair is so thick.

I can't curl my hair with my straightener. I've tried Youtube videos, can't do it. I think my hair is too thick, but it usually falls out the side of the straightener. I need to check out this one you all mentioned earlier.

I also can't do a little poof for my cheerleading competitions. Or any up dos, other than a pony tail and maybe a sock bun when it's super long. I suck at hair.

lovesclimbing · April 2015

novella1186 said:
taxes. Sometimes I feel like a stupid 1950s housewife. I don't know a damn thing about taxes and the more I try to learn, the more I get confused and stay far away from that mess. My dad's tax pro has been taking care of my taxes since I was old enough to get my first job.

Yes. The past couple years, I wind up in tears on the phone with my mom. It's easy if you have just W-2s or a few deductions, but I have some wonky investments that are not traditional and I have to enter depreciation and amortization and all that stuff.

My mom has been pushing me to get an accountant because the guy they finally hired (after my mom did them for her and my dad and their three businesses for years - took her a week working 7-8 hours a day) saved them his fee for the next five years the first year he did them.

But H is not a fan. He wants to figure them out himself. But he doesn't get going on them and it ends up being me doing a lot of them. I just want to bang my head against the wall forever. And kill the person who invented the word taxes.

ETA:

@Heffalump, google the America's Test Kitchen pie crust recipe. They have a recipe that includes vodka, and you can't taste it at the end, but it helps it remain fluffy.

Also, I have never been able to figure out folding fitted sheets. And yes, I have watched and looked at multiple tutorials.

Also, never been able to whistle.

kvruns · April 2015

lovesclimbing said:

novella1186 said:
taxes. Sometimes I feel like a stupid 1950s housewife. I don't know a damn thing about taxes and the more I try to learn, the more I get confused and stay far away from that mess. My dad's tax pro has been taking care of my taxes since I was old enough to get my first job.
Yes. The past couple years, I wind up in tears on the phone with my mom. It's easy if you have just W-2s or a few deductions, but I have some wonky investments that are not traditional and I have to enter depreciation and amortization and all that stuff.

My mom has been pushing me to get an accountant because the guy they finally hired (after my mom did them for her and my dad and their three businesses for years - took her a week working 7-8 hours a day) saved them his fee for the next five years the first year he did them.

But H is not a fan. He wants to figure them out himself. But he doesn't get going on them and it ends up being me doing a lot of them. I just want to bang my head against the wall forever. And kill the person who invented the word taxes.

@lovesclimbing do you get any of the software like Turbo Tax? FI has a rental property and has to do some of the weird stuff because of that so he has to get a higher end version of the software but he says it is pretty easy. I had some weird investment stuff on mine this year but the software makes it easy, or at least he said it was.

I used to do a volunteer bookkeeping job right out of college and had to help them file their 501c3 (non profit) delinquent taxes and also for a small corporation they owned. I always laugh that I've done some crazier taxes like that but haven't ever done my own personal ones.

redoryx · April 2015

Today, thanks to you ladies, is apparently the first time in my entire life I put my own bobby pins in correctly.

themuffinman16 · April 2015

southernbelle0915 said:
@KatWAG - I had no idea about bobby pins. I've literally never put one in my hair correctly. Ever.

Folding a fitted sheet.... Fuck. That. I cannot understand.

One of my favorite memories of my grandparents was when my grandma was teaching me how to fold a fitted sheet. I tried several times to get it right, but it was always such a mess. My grandpa said he had a better trick to fold a fitted sheet. He took the sheet from me and my grandma and looked like he was putting in an earnest effort. He then takes the sheet, folds it into a hot mess and shoved it under the couch cushion. He said, "THAT'S how you fold a fitted sheet!" Lol. If YouTube was around back then, I would have recorded it and posted the "tutorial."

littlepep · April 2015

WinstonsGirl I looove those measuring cups! They are the best!

KatWAG · April 2015

arrippa said:

I have no idea how to get my hair straight. Even with blow drying and straightener, my hair always has frizz.
What I want

What I have

BOXES.....
Have you tried putting some Moroccan Oil into your hair after get out of the shower? It is amazing for frizz control.

lovesclimbing · April 2015

kvruns said:

lovesclimbing said:

novella1186 said:
taxes. Sometimes I feel like a stupid 1950s housewife. I don't know a damn thing about taxes and the more I try to learn, the more I get confused and stay far away from that mess. My dad's tax pro has been taking care of my taxes since I was old enough to get my first job.
Yes. The past couple years, I wind up in tears on the phone with my mom. It's easy if you have just W-2s or a few deductions, but I have some wonky investments that are not traditional and I have to enter depreciation and amortization and all that stuff.

My mom has been pushing me to get an accountant because the guy they finally hired (after my mom did them for her and my dad and their three businesses for years - took her a week working 7-8 hours a day) saved them his fee for the next five years the first year he did them.

But H is not a fan. He wants to figure them out himself. But he doesn't get going on them and it ends up being me doing a lot of them. I just want to bang my head against the wall forever. And kill the person who invented the word taxes.

@lovesclimbing do you get any of the software like Turbo Tax? FI has a rental property and has to do some of the weird stuff because of that so he has to get a higher end version of the software but he says it is pretty easy. I had some weird investment stuff on mine this year but the software makes it easy, or at least he said it was.
I used to do a volunteer bookkeeping job right out of college and had to help them file their 501c3 (non profit) delinquent taxes and also for a small corporation they owned. I always laugh that I've done some crazier taxes like that but haven't ever done my own personal ones.

Yes, I do, and it definitely helps with some things. Going through the steps made me realize I could deduct our moving expenses from last year. But it still is a pain trying to figure it all out and deduct everything and figure out exactly where to put everything.

I worked in the finance department of a local government over the summer when I was in college. My mom thought I'd be good at that sort of thing. Hated it the first day.

madamerwin · April 2015

FiancB said:
I also can't figure out stick shifts. I've tried a number of times. I can manage a tractor, but those don't go fast or need to park or need to go up many hills.

I can't with zippers. I've ruined so many.

I kinda can't wrap my idea around what it would be like to have a brother, if that makes sense. I have two sisters. The idea of having boys and girls vs boys OR girls, or being an only child, doesn't make sense to me on some basic level.

I had never actually thought about that, but I can't imagine having brothers, or younger siblings, or being an only child! I am the youngest of four girls. I cannot fathom what it would be like to have a brother, though I ALWAYS wanted a big brother when I was young.

Though I do have three BILs (sisters' husbands), and two more soon-to-be BILs (FI's brothers), so I guess I do have a ton of brothers by marriage.

TrixieJess · April 2015

kvruns said:

KatWAG said:
Are there things that everyone seems to know or understand, but you are clueless about?
Up until yesterday I though the saying was "for all intensive purposes" but its actually "for all intents and purposes." Oops.
I have also been putting bobby pins in my hair the wrong way forever.
What about you?
ummmm what is the right way to put in bobby pins? I assume if they stay that means I did it right?

Bumpy side down. Most people put the straight side in towards the scalp and it should be the bumpy side. It keeps whatever style you are doing in longer. I used to do ballet, this is a given

hellosweetie1015 · April 2015

tfmrserwin said:

FiancB said:
I also can't figure out stick shifts. I've tried a number of times. I can manage a tractor, but those don't go fast or need to park or need to go up many hills.

I can't with zippers. I've ruined so many.

I kinda can't wrap my idea around what it would be like to have a brother, if that makes sense. I have two sisters. The idea of having boys and girls vs boys OR girls, or being an only child, doesn't make sense to me on some basic level.
I had never actually thought about that, but I can't imagine having brothers, or younger siblings, or being an only child! I am the youngest of four girls. I cannot fathom what it would be like to have a brother, though I ALWAYS wanted a big brother when I was young.

Though I do have three BILs (sisters' husbands), and two more soon-to-be BILs (FI's brothers), so I guess I do have a ton of brothers by marriage.

Being an only child is completely incomprehensible to me. FI's an only child, though, and I'd say his learning curve coming into my family was much more difficult than mine going into his. He doesn't have any siblings I need to get along with. Of course, he's amazing and pretty much jumped in feet-first with mine so there's that.

kvruns · April 2015

TrixieJess said:

kvruns said:

KatWAG said:
Are there things that everyone seems to know or understand, but you are clueless about?
Up until yesterday I though the saying was "for all intensive purposes" but its actually "for all intents and purposes." Oops.
I have also been putting bobby pins in my hair the wrong way forever.
What about you?
ummmm what is the right way to put in bobby pins? I assume if they stay that means I did it right?
Bumpy side down. Most people put the straight side in towards the scalp and it should be the bumpy side. It keeps whatever style you are doing in longer. I used to do ballet, this is a given

good news - I do it right! I've never put one bumpy side up, probably because I think it would be weird with the bumpy part showing and not being straight/blending in

Maggie0829 · April 2015

tfmrserwin said:
I also can't figure out stick shifts. I've tried a number of times. I can manage a tractor, but those don't go fast or need to park or need to go up many hills.

I can't with zippers. I've ruined so many.

I kinda can't wrap my idea around what it would be like to have a brother, if that makes sense. I have two sisters. The idea of having boys and girls vs boys OR girls, or being an only child, doesn't make sense to me on some basic level.

I had never actually thought about that, but I can't imagine having brothers, or younger siblings, or being an only child! I am the youngest of four girls. I cannot fathom what it would be like to have a brother, though I ALWAYS wanted a big brother when I was young.

Though I do have three BILs (sisters' husbands), and two more soon-to-be BILs (FI's brothers), so I guess I do have a ton of brothers by marriage.

I couldn't imagine having a brother or being the older sibling, but I could kind of imagine what it would be like to be an only child. My older sister and I get along fine, but we were never close and still aren't. Not for any specific reason really, just kind of different and the age difference (6 years) didn't really help that much when growing up. And we don't really talk very often. So because of all that I could imagine being an only child.

But I couldn't imagine having a boy in the family. My parents only had girls and my sister has only ever had girls. Really no one else in our family has had kids and the few who did had girls. So if me or my sister had a son I think everyone's minds would be blown.

FiancB · April 2015

Maggie0829 said:

tfmrserwin said:
So if me or my sister had a son I think everyone's minds would be blown.

Right? Like, boys. What do I do with these things?

H is an only child. We are both leaning toward having 2-3 kids, but I don't think he quite comprehends the complication of sibling relationships and its potential for increasing the daily baseline of drama at home.

buttercup1958 · April 2015

V tried to teach me how to drive stick shift but I couldn't reach the clutch...

sarahufl · April 2015

FiancB said:

Maggie0829 said:

tfmrserwin said:
So if me or my sister had a son I think everyone's minds would be blown.

Right? Like, boys. What do I do with these things?

H is an only child. We are both leaning toward having 2-3 kids, but I don't think he quite comprehends the complication of sibling relationships and its potential for increasing the daily baseline of drama at home.

I am a twin. People are constantly asking me what it is like. And, frankly, I can't imagine what it would be like to NOT be a twin.

jenna8984 · April 2015

FiancB said:

Maggie0829 said:

tfmrserwin said:
So if me or my sister had a son I think everyone's minds would be blown.

Right? Like, boys. What do I do with these things?

H is an only child. We are both leaning toward having 2-3 kids, but I don't think he quite comprehends the complication of sibling relationships and its potential for increasing the daily baseline of drama at home.

@fiancb My husband is an only child as well. I always say that I want 2 because I can't imagine my life without my brother, and it was so fun growing up together. DH says "but they can't feel like they are missing out on something they never had. I never had a brother so I don't miss it". My argument for him is- that's not true at all- I never had a sister and I still feel like I'm missing out on that. I never had a million dollars but I still feel like I'm missing out on that. You don't have to have been exposed to something to feel like you're missing out.

sophhabobopha · April 2015

Any math.

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