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themuffinman16
member
Let someone know their breach of etiquette?
Ok. Remember my husband's friend's wife who shamed me on fb for getting her son a duplicate gift for his first birthday, tagged me and two others in the post, and told us we should have consulted the other guests to make sure we didn't get her son the same gift? A while back, I unfriended her, but I did not block her (as Knotties suggested). I also kept her husband from seeing my posts so she wouldn't be made aware that I had unfriended her. She must have realized both myself and my sister have unfriended her and asked me if I was upset with her. This is my response"
"Yes. You did something to upset me, to put it mildly. I suffer from back problems, and even if I didn't, I would still be upset. The week of your son's first birthday party, my back was out really bad. The day of the party, H and I went to Target to find your son a birthday gift. We spent 2 hours in the store, debating the right gift to get him. (Normally, I go shopping a week in advance for a party, but I could not drive because of my back issues. So, I had to get Jacob a gift the day of the party). We, then, saw the Batman Little People figurines and thought that would have been the perfect gift along with the play tunnel.
Then, we go to the party excited to see your DS on his first birthday. We had a good time, but my back was terrible from the sitting. It's fine, it happens. When I get home, I saw your facebook post and gasped . Your poor etiquette to scold me on giving your son a gift because it was a duplicate, really pissed me off. Then, you had to tag me in it, as if to shame me, for not getting the right gift. You, also, said that your guests should have contacted other gift givers to make sure our gifts were different.
I was taught that anything someone gets you is something they didn't have to do. It's the thought that counts, and that thought should be appreciated. Now, I know getting duplicates is frustrating, but I did enclose a gift receipt. The polite form of action would be to grumble about it with your H, and let it go. You should never have insulted me... and on a public forum for everyone to see. I had friends asking me what was your deal. They saw what you had said (because you tagged me), and told me it was way out of line. I, also, asked several other people and was given the same response, so I know it wasn't just me, making a bigger deal out of nothing. Facebook is not a diary. There are somethings that shouldn't be uttered in public. If you wouldn't take a megaphone to say things about people, then it shouldn't be on facebook. People can see that shit, especially when you go out of your way to bring it to their attention... it is not only rude, but it is hurtful."
This is what I was planning to send her. Now, I don't know if my words are too harsh... please let me know if they are. I got all pissed off all over again, and am not sure this is proper etiquette. She did ask what upset me though, and I don't want H dealing with my beef with her. He is still friends with her H.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Let someone know their breach of etiquette?
I'd cut out the stuff about your bad back. it's unnecessary added info, especially the part about yor back hurting sitting at her party. that just seems odd info to throw in. You could have gone shopping two weeks before the party and ended up picking the same exact gift, ya know?
I think everything is fine. She wants the truth? Give her the truth. I don't think anything you said is crazy out of line.
Too harsh? No. She was a jerk AND she asked.
But I agree. Edit out everything about the back. It's unnecessary info and just gives her ammunition to say "Well, you were just grouchy. That's not what I meant at all. You just didn't understand the joke because you were too focused on your back" I'd also edit out WHEN you went to Target. Just "We went to Target and debated for two hours." Telling her what day you went to Target just gives her ammunition to say "Well, if you had gone earlier, you could have had time to do..." when the reality is, you probably would have ended up with the same gift no matter what.
Btw, she is being a HUGE bitch and ungracious hostess. My son is two, yep he's gotten duplicate presents, one set goes to Grandma's the other stays at home. Everyone gets thanked profusely in person and by Thank you note.
Boom, done. I disagree with all the PPs who say to just cut out the part about the back problems - that all needs to go, yes, but it's still way too long-winded even without all of that. Be concise and direct.
I would cut it down some. I would remove the back problems part and also the part about asking others for their opinion on the matter.
She asked why you were mad so it is fine to say, just shrink it down a bit to I took the time to pick out this gift for your child and provided a gift receipt just in case. I'm mad you put it on fb to make a big deal out of your son getting duplicate gifts from people at his party as it is rude and ungrateful. That is why I unfriended/blocked/whatevered you
Personally I have no problem with the back problems being left in. This is in reply to a question, not a college paper.
If you do edit out the back problems, I would edit as LondonLisa has and send that sucker.
"Yes.
You did something to upset me, to put it mildly. . The day of
the party, H and I went to Target to find your son a birthday gift. We
spent 2 hours in the store, debating the right gift to get him. We, then, saw the Batman Little People figurines and
thought that would have been the perfect gift along with the play
tunnel.
we go to the party excited to see your DS on his first birthday. We
had a good time. When I get home, I saw your facebook post and gasped . Your
poor etiquette to scold me on giving your son a gift because it was a
duplicate, really pissed me off. Then, you had to tag me in it, as if to
shame me, for not getting the right gift. You, also, said that your
guests should have contacted other gift givers to make sure our gifts
were different.
I was taught that anything someone gets you is something they didn't
have to do. It's the thought that counts, and that thought should be
appreciated. Now, I know getting duplicates is frustrating, but I did
enclose a gift receipt. You should never have insulted
me... and on a public forum for everyone to see. I had friends asking
me what was your deal. Facebook is not a diary. There are
somethings that shouldn't be uttered in public. If you wouldn't take a
megaphone to say things about people, then it shouldn't be on facebook.
People can see that shit, especially when you go out of your way to
bring it to their attention... it is not only rude, but it is hurtful.
ETA: No idea why the wonky paragraphs but it won't let me fix it.
Formerly martha1818
I really, really hope she "gets" it and this serves as a wake up call for her! Good luck
Also, I would also shorten it down because like lolo and Ashley said, she probably won't read it all. If she screenshots it and posts it, oh well. It says a whole lot more about her than about you. Good luck.