Man, we're doing so many of these supposed no nos!
We're having a dress code. You must wear a costume. If you don't, you will be asked to put on a provided mask before entering the venue.
We have a B-list. Our venue is a finite space of 170. We have more than 170 people we'd like to invite so unfortunately some people who we'd love to have there but aren't that close to have to be on a second string list.
We're having an unplugged ceremony and are requesting that all photos taken at the reception be uploaded to a shared facebook album we're putting up. I don't feel that's obnoxious. I want people to pay attention and be present.
Etiquette smetiquette. It's our day and we'll do what feels right for us.
This is an etiquette thread on an etiquette board. And obviously your whole list here needs help but I just want to touch on the costumes part. Don't you think that your guests who don't show up in a costume probably don't want to wear one? It's not like they will have forgotten to wear one; it's that they don't want to wear one. And instead of just letting them be you're going to make them wear a mask before entering? wut.
I would put it on before entering and take it off immediately after entering.
But it's their day... so screw anyone else's comfort.
Man, we're doing so many of these supposed no nos!
We're having a dress code. You must wear a costume. If you don't, you will be asked to put on a provided mask before entering the venue.
We have a B-list. Our venue is a finite space of 170. We have more than 170 people we'd like to invite so unfortunately some people who we'd love to have there but aren't that close to have to be on a second string list.
We're having an unplugged ceremony and are requesting that all photos taken at the reception be uploaded to a shared facebook album we're putting up. I don't feel that's obnoxious. I want people to pay attention and be present.
Etiquette smetiquette. It's our day and we'll do what feels right for us.
This is an etiquette thread on an etiquette board. And obviously your whole list here needs help but I just want to touch on the costumes part. Don't you think that your guests who don't show up in a costume probably don't want to wear one? It's not like they will have forgotten to wear one; it's that they don't want to wear one. And instead of just letting them be you're going to make them wear a mask before entering? wut.
I would put it on before entering and take it off immediately after entering.
But it's their day... so screw anyone else's comfort.
I would be SO tempted to go as corpse bride. Or a burlesque girl. Or basically anything that would piss off the couple.
I mean 90% of the costumes for sale for adult women are "sexy" so....
I voted for b-listing/tiered reception, but I think that not inviting SOs is equally bad.
To me, though, the most obnoxious of these (though not necessarily the worst etiquette-wise) is the unplugged wedding trend. It just makes me stabby. It makes the bride and groom look very self-important. You're not that special, get over yourselves. No way in hell I am turning my cell phone over to anyone.
BrinkyDink16 said:Man, we're doing so many of these supposed no nos!
We're having a dress code. You must wear a costume. If you don't, you will be asked to put on a provided mask before entering the venue.
We have a B-list. Our venue is a finite space of 170. We have more than 170 people we'd like to invite so unfortunately some people who we'd love to have there but aren't that close to have to be on a second string list.
We're having an unplugged ceremony and are requesting that all photos taken at the reception be uploaded to a shared facebook album we're putting up. I don't feel that's obnoxious. I want people to pay attention and be present.
Etiquette smetiquette. It's our day and we'll do what feels right for us. -------BOXESBOXESBOXES-----
You're trolling us, right? I read the costume part and assumed this MUST be fake. If not, I feel bad for everyone invited to your wedding. Masks? REALLY?? And no one has to B-List. You should not have picked a venue that is not big enough for everyone you want to invite.
And good luck making sure no one has their phones on during the ceremony. I would probably keep my phone on out of spite, to be honest.
Man, we're doing so many of these supposed no nos!
We're having a dress code. You must wear a costume. If you don't, you will be asked to put on a provided mask before entering the venue.
We have a B-list. Our venue is a finite space of 170. We have more than 170 people we'd like to invite so unfortunately some people who we'd love to have there but aren't that close to have to be on a second string list.
We're having an unplugged ceremony and are requesting that all photos taken at the reception be uploaded to a shared facebook album we're putting up. I don't feel that's obnoxious. I want people to pay attention and be present.
Etiquette smetiquette. It's our day and we'll do what feels right for us.
-------BOXESBOXESBOXES-----
You're trolling us, right? I read the costume part and assumed this MUST be fake. If not, I feel bad for everyone invited to your wedding. Masks? REALLY?? And no one has to B-List. You should not have picked a venue that is not big enough for everyone you want to invite.
And good luck making sure no one has their phones on during the ceremony. I would probably keep my phone on out of spite, to be honest.
The sad part is she isn't actually a troll. I've seen her posts on other boards. Either that or she is an elaborate troll that posts across multiple boards to hide her identity in some way.
Man, we're doing so many of these supposed no nos!
We're having a dress code. You must wear a costume. If you don't, you will be asked to put on a provided mask before entering the venue.
We have a B-list. Our venue is a finite space of 170. We have more than 170 people we'd like to invite so unfortunately some people who we'd love to have there but aren't that close to have to be on a second string list.
We're having an unplugged ceremony and are requesting that all photos taken at the reception be uploaded to a shared facebook album we're putting up. I don't feel that's obnoxious. I want people to pay attention and be present.
Etiquette smetiquette. It's our day and we'll do what feels right for us.
-------BOXESBOXESBOXES-----
You're trolling us, right? I read the costume part and assumed this MUST be fake. If not, I feel bad for everyone invited to your wedding. Masks? REALLY?? And no one has to B-List. You should not have picked a venue that is not big enough for everyone you want to invite.
And good luck making sure no one has their phones on during the ceremony. I would probably keep my phone on out of spite, to be honest.
The sad part is she isn't actually a troll. I've seen her posts on other boards. Either that or she is an elaborate troll that posts across multiple boards to hide her identity in some way.
Yeah, it's a Halloween wedding. I'm in a wedding on Halloween, and the bride ran her wedding website by me before it went "live" on STDs. She was going to talk about attire in order to request no costumes. I managed to convince her that she needed just to treat the guests like adults and trust people's sense of what's appropriate, and that she really didn't have any control over what they wear anyway.
Man, we're doing so many of these supposed no nos!
We're having a dress code. You must wear a costume. If you don't, you will be asked to put on a provided mask before entering the venue.
We have a B-list. Our venue is a finite space of 170. We have more than 170 people we'd like to invite so unfortunately some people who we'd love to have there but aren't that close to have to be on a second string list.
We're having an unplugged ceremony and are requesting that all photos taken at the reception be uploaded to a shared facebook album we're putting up. I don't feel that's obnoxious. I want people to pay attention and be present.
Etiquette smetiquette. It's our day and we'll do what feels right for us.
-------BOXESBOXESBOXES-----
You're trolling us, right? I read the costume part and assumed this MUST be fake. If not, I feel bad for everyone invited to your wedding. Masks? REALLY?? And no one has to B-List. You should not have picked a venue that is not big enough for everyone you want to invite.
And good luck making sure no one has their phones on during the ceremony. I would probably keep my phone on out of spite, to be honest.
The sad part is she isn't actually a troll. I've seen her posts on other boards. Either that or she is an elaborate troll that posts across multiple boards to hide her identity in some way.
Man, we're doing so many of these supposed no nos!
We're having a dress code. You must wear a costume. If you don't, you will be asked to put on a provided mask before entering the venue.
We have a B-list. Our venue is a finite space of 170. We have more than 170 people we'd like to invite so unfortunately some people who we'd love to have there but aren't that close to have to be on a second string list.
We're having an unplugged ceremony and are requesting that all photos taken at the reception be uploaded to a shared facebook album we're putting up. I don't feel that's obnoxious. I want people to pay attention and be present.
Etiquette smetiquette. It's our day and we'll do what feels right for us.
-------BOXESBOXESBOXES-----
You're trolling us, right? I read the costume part and assumed this MUST be fake. If not, I feel bad for everyone invited to your wedding. Masks? REALLY?? And no one has to B-List. You should not have picked a venue that is not big enough for everyone you want to invite.
And good luck making sure no one has their phones on during the ceremony. I would probably keep my phone on out of spite, to be honest.
The sad part is she isn't actually a troll. I've seen her posts on other boards. Either that or she is an elaborate troll that posts across multiple boards to hide her identity in some way.
Man, we're doing so many of these supposed no nos!
We're having a dress code. You must wear a costume. If you don't, you will be asked to put on a provided mask before entering the venue.
We have a B-list. Our venue is a finite space of 170. We have more than 170 people we'd like to invite so unfortunately some people who we'd love to have there but aren't that close to have to be on a second string list.
We're having an unplugged ceremony and are requesting that all photos taken at the reception be uploaded to a shared facebook album we're putting up. I don't feel that's obnoxious. I want people to pay attention and be present.
Etiquette smetiquette. It's our day and we'll do what feels right for us.
You're proud to be a shitty host? Congratulations on acting like a selfish, self-absorbed bridezilla.
Man, we're doing so many of these supposed no nos!
We're having a dress code. You must wear a costume. If you don't, you will be asked to put on a provided mask before entering the venue.
We have a B-list. Our venue is a finite space of 170. We have more than 170 people we'd like to invite so unfortunately some people who we'd love to have there but aren't that close to have to be on a second string list.
We're having an unplugged ceremony and are requesting that all photos taken at the reception be uploaded to a shared facebook album we're putting up. I don't feel that's obnoxious. I want people to pay attention and be present.
Etiquette smetiquette. It's our day and we'll do what feels right for us.
I voted for b-listing/tiered reception, but I think that not inviting SOs is equally bad.
To me, though, the most obnoxious of these (though not necessarily the worst etiquette-wise) is the unplugged wedding trend. It just makes me stabby. It makes the bride and groom look very self-important. You're not that special, get over yourselves. No way in hell I am turning my cell phone over to anyone.
I may be misunderstanding something, but I think "unplugged wedding" basically just means "don't lift your phone up in the air to take pictures during the ceremony because you'll ruin the photos our expensive photographer is taking." I don't think anyone is trying to take your phone? It's definitely still rude, but a different kind of rude. Again, I might be wrong though.
The one thing I don't understand about this board is that it seems like a lot of people are willing to completely forgo courtesy as soon as someone breeches etiquette. Snarking is one thing, but I think having good manners and doing something to spite another person are mutually exclusive.
I voted for b-listing/tiered reception, but I think that not inviting SOs is equally bad.
To me, though, the most obnoxious of these (though not necessarily the worst etiquette-wise) is the unplugged wedding trend. It just makes me stabby. It makes the bride and groom look very self-important. You're not that special, get over yourselves. No way in hell I am turning my cell phone over to anyone.
I may be misunderstanding something, but I think "unplugged wedding" basically just means "don't lift your phone up in the air to take pictures during the ceremony because you'll ruin the photos our expensive photographer is taking." I don't think anyone is trying to take your phone? It's definitely still rude, but a different kind of rude. Again, I might be wrong though.
The one thing I don't understand about this board is that it seems like a lot of people are willing to completely forgo courtesy as soon as someone breeches etiquette. Snarking is one thing, but I think having good manners and doing something to spite another person are mutually exclusive.
Nope, unplugged wedding, at the very mildest, means that the bride and groom tell everyone to turn their phones off (usually with some cutesy sign). At its worst, some people will actually tell people to leave their phones in a basket or something for the duration. The latter is what my earlier comments were referencing.
Either way, are you implying that not handing my phone over is bad manners, or that not handing it over simply out of spite is bad manners? Now, if I went to an unplugged wedding and stood in the aisle taking photos the whole time, then yes. That would be incredibly rude and spiteful. But keeping my phone on my person (and not handing it over to a stranger on the whim of the bride and groom) out of spite does absolutely nothing to affect the wedding ceremony, and in no way reflects manners.
I voted for b-listing/tiered reception, but I think that not inviting SOs is equally bad.
To me, though, the most obnoxious of these (though not necessarily the worst etiquette-wise) is the unplugged wedding trend. It just makes me stabby. It makes the bride and groom look very self-important. You're not that special, get over yourselves. No way in hell I am turning my cell phone over to anyone.
I may be misunderstanding something, but I think "unplugged wedding" basically just means "don't lift your phone up in the air to take pictures during the ceremony because you'll ruin the photos our expensive photographer is taking." I don't think anyone is trying to take your phone? It's definitely still rude, but a different kind of rude. Again, I might be wrong though.
The one thing I don't understand about this board is that it seems like a lot of people are willing to completely forgo courtesy as soon as someone breeches etiquette. Snarking is one thing, but I think having good manners and doing something to spite another person are mutually exclusive.
Nope, unplugged wedding, at the very mildest, means that the bride and groom tell everyone to turn their phones off (usually with some cutesy sign). At its worst, some people will actually tell people to leave their phones in a basket or something for the duration. The latter is what my earlier comments were referencing.
Either way, are you implying that not handing my phone over is bad manners, or that not handing it over simply out of spite is bad manners? Now, if I went to an unplugged wedding and stood in the aisle taking photos the whole time, then yes. That would be incredibly rude and spiteful. But keeping my phone on my person (and not handing it over to a stranger on the whim of the bride and groom) out of spite does absolutely nothing to affect the wedding ceremony, and in no way reflects manners.
Wow, that's gross. I can't imagine asking my guests to turn their phones off, let alone leave them unattended in some random basket!
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that the second half of my comment was specifically about you. It's just an attitude I've seen on this board where someone provides an example of poor etiquette and then everyone rallies and posts ideas about how they could screw them over. Look at the "flat gift" thread for instance. You inspired my tangent with the word "spite," but your post isn't really what I meant by bad manners.
Unplugged weddings... I'm still of two minds about this. Obviously collecting people's phones is rude as hell and I'm against cutesy, passive-aggressive signs as a rule, but I still don't really see why having the officiant give a reminder before the ceremony begins to silence cell phones is any ruder than when it happens before a movie. To me, it seems like a reminder for people who will obviously have a lot on their minds beyond whether or not their ringer is on than a scolding.
Unplugged weddings... I'm still of two minds about this. Obviously collecting people's phones is rude as hell and I'm against cutesy, passive-aggressive signs as a rule, but I still don't really see why having the officiant give a reminder before the ceremony begins to silence cell phones is any ruder than when it happens before a movie. To me, it seems like a reminder for people who will obviously have a lot on their minds beyond whether or not their ringer is on than a scolding.
But that's not what these people are thinking when they decide to have an "unplugged wedding". They don't just have the minister remind people to turn off their ringers. They have a tendency to write a bad poem about leaving your camera or phone in your purse or pocket so that you can be "In The Moment" and "Truly Experience" their wedding ceremony. It's bullshit because my taking one picture of the bride and groom staring lovingly into each other's eyes while at the altar is not pulling me out of the moment, in fact, I'm noticing things I might not notice if I was glancing around the church looking at the stained glass windows and the shoes of the woman down the aisle from me.
Unplugged weddings... I'm still of two minds about this. Obviously collecting people's phones is rude as hell and I'm against cutesy, passive-aggressive signs as a rule, but I still don't really see why having the officiant give a reminder before the ceremony begins to silence cell phones is any ruder than when it happens before a movie. To me, it seems like a reminder for people who will obviously have a lot on their minds beyond whether or not their ringer is on than a scolding.
I think the officiant making a statement is different than the B&G arranging to take the phones.
1) It's the officiant making the statement. Unless he said, "The bride and groom want me to remind you," then I see it as his/her request as the person running the ceremony and potentially the venue (as is the case with a church wedding).
2) A quick "please silence phones" is something that doesn't bother me because it's a quick sentence and there's no forced enforcement.
3) Physically taking phones is just a bullshit thing. I'm not giving over my personal property. Just no. How about taking my car keys at the reception if it's an open bar? If it doesn't belong to you then it isn't yours to take.
I don't love unplugged ceremonies anyway but if it's a venue requirement I'll put up with it and will sit down and be fine. But when you start to treat me like a child it isn't going to go over well.
Unplugged weddings... I'm still of two minds about this. Obviously collecting people's phones is rude as hell and I'm against cutesy, passive-aggressive signs as a rule, but I still don't really see why having the officiant give a reminder before the ceremony begins to silence cell phones is any ruder than when it happens before a movie. To me, it seems like a reminder for people who will obviously have a lot on their minds beyond whether or not their ringer is on than a scolding.
I have no problem with the officiant reminding people to silence their phones, because some people may not think about it until their phone goes off in the middle of the ceremony. But stupid cutesy signs or physically taking people's phones is just ridiculous.
Hey guys, I am so not a troll (but I would love it if someone wore that troll costume to our wedding)!
The point I was trying to make with my initial comment, which I felt was done in a fairly lighthearted way, was that these rules aren't written in stone anywhere and I didn't feel that any of the worse etiquette mistakes in the poll were really all that bad and each and every one of them, when done, has valid reasons behind it.
I did enjoy reading the feedback about our wedding though. It's interesting to see different perspectives of what we're planning. Also, just to address the item about B-listing for more gifts? We expressly state in our informational pamphlet that gifts are appreciated but not required in any way. Our "registry" is a list of places we'd enjoy gift cards to because the point of our wedding is not to get gifts. It' to get married and throw an amazing Halloween party for our family and friends.
Hey guys, I am so not a troll (but I would love it if someone wore that troll costume to our wedding)!
The point I was trying to make with my initial comment, which I felt was done in a fairly lighthearted way, was that these rules aren't written in stone anywhere and I didn't feel that any of the worse etiquette mistakes in the poll were really all that bad and each and every one of them, when done, has valid reasons behind it.
I did enjoy reading the feedback about our wedding though. It's interesting to see different perspectives of what we're planning. Also, just to address the item about B-listing for more gifts? We expressly state in our informational pamphlet that gifts are appreciated but not required in any way. Our "registry" is a list of places we'd enjoy gift cards to because the point of our wedding is not to get gifts. It' to get married and throw an amazing Halloween party for our family and friends.
What is the "valid" reason for not inviting significant others? Every one of those items on the poll are rude to your guests. There is no valid reason to have any of them other than the bride and groom think they are special or their reasons are unique. They are not.
What is the "valid" reason for not inviting significant others? Every one of those items on the poll are rude to your guests. There is no valid reason to have any of them other than the bride and groom think they are special or their reasons are unique. They are not.
Well, some couples I know are very shy introverted people who don't want to invite anyone that they haven't personally met to their wedding. There will be significant others of friends who we've never met at our wedding and while we're cool with that not everyone is. While it's not something I would do I can understand the reasoning behind it and don't begrudge anyone for trying to keep their wedding small, intimate, and only for people they've personally met.
What is the "valid" reason for not inviting significant others? Every one of those items on the poll are rude to your guests. There is no valid reason to have any of them other than the bride and groom think they are special or their reasons are unique. They are not.
Well, some couples I know are very shy introverted people who don't want to invite anyone that they haven't personally met to their wedding. There will be significant others of friends who we've never met at our wedding and while we're cool with that not everyone is. While it's not something I would do I can understand the reasoning behind it and don't begrudge anyone for trying to keep their wedding small, intimate, and only for people they've personally met.
If they were that damned shy and introverted they'd have a family only wedding, or go to courthouse.
You're just inventing excuses for rudeness.
Being uncomfortable or feeling awkward doesn't give me the right to make other people feel uncomfortable or awkward.
This is an etiquette board. Not an inventing unlikely excuses board.
Man, we're doing so many of these supposed no nos!
We're having a dress code. You must wear a costume. If you don't, you will be asked to put on a provided mask before entering the venue.
We have a B-list. Our venue is a finite space of 170. We have more than 170 people we'd like to invite so unfortunately some people who we'd love to have there but aren't that close to have to be on a second string list.
We're having an unplugged ceremony and are requesting that all photos taken at the reception be uploaded to a shared facebook album we're putting up. I don't feel that's obnoxious. I want people to pay attention and be present.
Etiquette smetiquette. It's our day and we'll do what feels right for us.
Did you see the poll? 86 people voted. 86 people overwhelmingly said B-listing is one of the rudest things you can do. We aren't your friends, we aren't your family. We have nothing at stake to keep our thoughts to ourselves. Your nearest and dearest will be judging you hard, and most of them will talk behind your back. This summer, i am invited to an OOT wedding with a 7 hour gap. I would NEVER tell the bride and groom my irritation with this. I am not the only person snarking about it, either. Just because your friends or family don't tell you, doesn't make it less heinous, it just means they have good manners.
I'm pretty sure that B-listing is in fact not the rudest thing that you can do, I think the rudest is actually pooping on the table.
But that being said...the other thing that might be the rudest thing is talking about your family and friends behind their back. Unless being two-faced is a part of wedding etiquette I didn't know about.
Right. Because I'm sure you'd respond better if your friend or family member walked up to you and said "You are treating me rudely as fuck." People know you'd respond so well, so they never avoid sharing their hurt to spare your feelings.
Man, we're doing so many of these supposed no nos!
We're having a dress code. You must wear a costume. If you don't, you will be asked to put on a provided mask before entering the venue.
We have a B-list. Our venue is a finite space of 170. We have more than 170 people we'd like to invite so unfortunately some people who we'd love to have there but aren't that close to have to be on a second string list.
We're having an unplugged ceremony and are requesting that all photos taken at the reception be uploaded to a shared facebook album we're putting up. I don't feel that's obnoxious. I want people to pay attention and be present.
Etiquette smetiquette. It's our day and we'll do what feels right for us.
Did you see the poll? 86 people voted. 86 people overwhelmingly said B-listing is one of the rudest things you can do. We aren't your friends, we aren't your family. We have nothing at stake to keep our thoughts to ourselves. Your nearest and dearest will be judging you hard, and most of them will talk behind your back. This summer, i am invited to an OOT wedding with a 7 hour gap. I would NEVER tell the bride and groom my irritation with this. I am not the only person snarking about it, either. Just because your friends or family don't tell you, doesn't make it less heinous, it just means they have good manners.
I'm pretty sure that B-listing is in fact not the rudest thing that you can do, I think the rudest is actually pooping on the table.
But that being said...the other thing that might be the rudest thing is talking about your family and friends behind their back. Unless being two-faced is a part of wedding etiquette I didn't know about.
Right. Because I'm sure you'd respond better if your friend or family member walked up to you and said "You are treating me rudely as fuck." People know you'd respond so well, so they never avoid sharing their hurt to spare your feelings.
Ever try keeping your mouth shut? If it isn't your wedding then no one is obligating you to be there, so don't be there if you don't like it.
Ever tried not doing crappy things to people?
I don't understand the logic that one should keep her mouth shut if someone is being rude and if something is truly terrible to just not go.
1) The concept of keeping one's mouth shut when something is astoundingly rude flies in the face of feminism and fighting for what's right. It's generally only used now by those who basically only want to be surrounded by "yes" people.
2) It's hardly that easy to say "if you don't like it don't go". Sometimes there are familial and social obligations that require people to attend. Life isn't as easy as saying, "You're planning a shit show and I refused to attend on principle."
Man, we're doing so many of these supposed no nos!
We're having a dress code. You must wear a costume. If you don't, you will be asked to put on a provided mask before entering the venue.
We have a B-list. Our venue is a finite space of 170. We have more than 170 people we'd like to invite so unfortunately some people who we'd love to have there but aren't that close to have to be on a second string list.
We're having an unplugged ceremony and are requesting that all photos taken at the reception be uploaded to a shared facebook album we're putting up. I don't feel that's obnoxious. I want people to pay attention and be present.
Etiquette smetiquette. It's our day and we'll do what feels right for us.
Did you see the poll? 86 people voted. 86 people overwhelmingly said B-listing is one of the rudest things you can do. We aren't your friends, we aren't your family. We have nothing at stake to keep our thoughts to ourselves. Your nearest and dearest will be judging you hard, and most of them will talk behind your back. This summer, i am invited to an OOT wedding with a 7 hour gap. I would NEVER tell the bride and groom my irritation with this. I am not the only person snarking about it, either. Just because your friends or family don't tell you, doesn't make it less heinous, it just means they have good manners.
I'm pretty sure that B-listing is in fact not the rudest thing that you can do, I think the rudest is actually pooping on the table.
But that being said...the other thing that might be the rudest thing is talking about your family and friends behind their back. Unless being two-faced is a part of wedding etiquette I didn't know about.
Right. Because I'm sure you'd respond better if your friend or family member walked up to you and said "You are treating me rudely as fuck." People know you'd respond so well, so they never avoid sharing their hurt to spare your feelings.
Ever try keeping your mouth shut? If it isn't your wedding then no one is obligating you to be there, so don't be there if you don't like it.
Ever tried not doing crappy things to people?
I don't understand the logic that one should keep her mouth shut if someone is being rude and if something is truly terrible to just not go.
1) The concept of keeping one's mouth shut when something is astoundingly rude flies in the face of feminism and fighting for what's right. It's generally only used now by those who basically only want to be surrounded by "yes" people.
I am so confused by you, it's feminist to tell people you that their wedding doesn't conform to what you believe they should have, but it's not feminist but terrible to have the wedding you want?
You may have exactly the wedding you want if you invite no guests. Once you invite guests, you have the obligation to treat them well. Even if that goes against your toddler temper tantrum "wants."
I am so confused by you, it's feminist to tell people you that their wedding doesn't conform to what you believe they should have, but it's not feminist but terrible to have the wedding you want?
You may have exactly the wedding you want if you invite no guests. Once you invite guests, you have the obligation to treat them well. Even if that goes against your toddler temper tantrum "wants."
But if they are on my B list then I haven't invited them yet, so I can't possibly have wedding obligations to them. Either way, isn't the guest then throwing their own toddler tantrum when they start complaining to everyone and their mother behind the couple's back, about how terrible the couple is being to treat them this way for one day. One day that, I may add, as I guest I won't care about a year from now as it wasn't a pivotal moment in my life.
Putting someone on a B list is rude in and of itself.
People may not remember the good things but they can sure has hell remember the bad. And it's hardly throwing a toddler tantrum to mention things that irritate you after the fact. Throwing a toddler tantrum would be making a scene in the middle of the dance floor and screaming that you wanted noodles!!!! Chatting with your mom on the phone saying, "holy crap let me tell you about this shit show," may be gossipy but are you really saying that one should always stay on the side of saying 'if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all?" Really??
Basically, all I get from your argument is that it's OK to do rude things to people because you think that your wedding is of little consequence to them, they're your second tier guests and they won't remember it in a year anyway. Really? Is that the logic you're going with?
I am so confused by you, it's feminist to tell people you that their wedding doesn't conform to what you believe they should have, but it's not feminist but terrible to have the wedding you want?
You may have exactly the wedding you want if you invite no guests. Once you invite guests, you have the obligation to treat them well. Even if that goes against your toddler temper tantrum "wants."
But if they are on my B list then I haven't invited them yet, so I can't possibly have wedding obligations to them. Either way, isn't the guest then throwing their own toddler tantrum when they start complaining to everyone and their mother behind the couple's back, about how terrible the couple is being to treat them this way for one day. One day that, I may add, as I guest I won't care about a year from now as it wasn't a pivotal moment in my life.
Putting someone on a B list is rude in and of itself.
People may not remember the good things but they can sure has hell remember the bad. And it's hardly throwing a toddler tantrum to mention things that irritate you after the fact. Throwing a toddler tantrum would be making a scene in the middle of the dance floor and screaming that you wanted noodles!!!! Chatting with your mom on the phone saying, "holy crap let me tell you about this shit show," may be gossipy but are you really saying that one should always stay on the side of saying 'if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all?" Really??
Basically, all I get from your argument is that it's OK to do rude things to people because you think that your wedding is of little consequence to them, they're your second tier guests and they won't remember it in a year anyway. Really? Is that the logic you're going with?
No, that totally works. Because if I'm treated like shit at a wedding, I won't be friends with the couple anymore and therefore won't think about them and therefore won't think about their wedding.
Re: Which Is The Worst Etiquette Mistake?
I would put it on before entering and take it off immediately after entering.
But it's their day... so screw anyone else's comfort.
We're having a dress code. You must wear a costume. If you don't, you will be asked to put on a provided mask before entering the venue.
We have a B-list. Our venue is a finite space of 170. We have more than 170 people we'd like to invite so unfortunately some people who we'd love to have there but aren't that close to have to be on a second string list.
We're having an unplugged ceremony and are requesting that all photos taken at the reception be uploaded to a shared facebook album we're putting up. I don't feel that's obnoxious. I want people to pay attention and be present.
Etiquette smetiquette. It's our day and we'll do what feels right for us.
-------BOXESBOXESBOXES-----
The sad part is she isn't actually a troll. I've seen her posts on other boards. Either that or she is an elaborate troll that posts across multiple boards to hide her identity in some way.
Yeah, it's a Halloween wedding. I'm in a wedding on Halloween, and the bride ran her wedding website by me before it went "live" on STDs. She was going to talk about attire in order to request no costumes. I managed to convince her that she needed just to treat the guests like adults and trust people's sense of what's appropriate, and that she really didn't have any control over what they wear anyway.
The sad part is she isn't actually a troll. I've seen her posts on other boards. Either that or she is an elaborate troll that posts across multiple boards to hide her identity in some way.
I would wear this
Wow, that's gross. I can't imagine asking my guests to turn their phones off, let alone leave them unattended in some random basket!
The point I was trying to make with my initial comment, which I felt was done in a fairly lighthearted way, was that these rules aren't written in stone anywhere and I didn't feel that any of the worse etiquette mistakes in the poll were really all that bad and each and every one of them, when done, has valid reasons behind it.
I did enjoy reading the feedback about our wedding though. It's interesting to see different perspectives of what we're planning. Also, just to address the item about B-listing for more gifts? We expressly state in our informational pamphlet that gifts are appreciated but not required in any way. Our "registry" is a list of places we'd enjoy gift cards to because the point of our wedding is not to get gifts. It' to get married and throw an amazing Halloween party for our family and friends.
If they were that damned shy and introverted they'd have a family only wedding, or go to courthouse.
1) The concept of keeping one's mouth shut when something is astoundingly rude flies in the face of feminism and fighting for what's right. It's generally only used now by those who basically only want to be surrounded by "yes" people.
You may have exactly the wedding you want if you invite no guests. Once you invite guests, you have the obligation to treat them well. Even if that goes against your toddler temper tantrum "wants."
Putting someone on a B list is rude in and of itself.
Putting someone on a B list is rude in and of itself.
No, that totally works. Because if I'm treated like shit at a wedding, I won't be friends with the couple anymore and therefore won't think about them and therefore won't think about their wedding.