No oreos for this kid..

amakayeb · May 2015

I am an elementary teacher at a parochial school. We in no way police food (we still have class birthday treats, sundae parties as special rewards, etc.), but occasionally we will comment on a student's lunch--our kids can buy ice cream on Fridays if they've eaten most of their meal. Sometimes you have kiddos who regularly eat school lunch decide to bring their lunch on Friday--and they'll bring all junk, eat it, and then want ice cream. And by all junk, I mean something like this: one of those sugary kiddy yogurts, a container of mini Oreos, and a bag of chips. In that case, we will tell the kid they can't have ice cream and they need to bring a sandwich and some fruit or veggies next time.

But one item out of a lunch being the end of the world? I've got WAY more important things to worry about during the school day!

ashley8918 · May 2015

amakayeb said:
I am an elementary teacher at a parochial school. We in no way police food (we still have class birthday treats, sundae parties as special rewards, etc.), but occasionally we will comment on a student's lunch--our kids can buy ice cream on Fridays if they've eaten most of their meal. Sometimes you have kiddos who regularly eat school lunch decide to bring their lunch on Friday--and they'll bring all junk, eat it, and then want ice cream. And by all junk, I mean something like this: one of those sugary kiddy yogurts, a container of mini Oreos, and a bag of chips. In that case, we will tell the kid they can't have ice cream and they need to bring a sandwich and some fruit or veggies next time.

But one item out of a lunch being the end of the world? I've got WAY more important things to worry about during the school day!

But why is this your business? If that is what their parents packed for them, that is what their parents wanted/were okay with them having.

amakayeb · May 2015

Because we still have to spend the afternoon with them... and adding extra sugar to that mix would not make for a good afternoon for most kids.

And sorry, that bolded sentence wasn't written very well--we don't tell them they can't bring the junk if that's what they want, just that they need to bring something else next time if they want the privilege of buying ice cream.

amakayeb · May 2015

(Also, it's usually that the kids decided themselves to 'pack' their lunch just so they can get ice cream--one question usually makes it clear that the parents didn't know anything about it. It's more about making sure the kids realize that teachers are pretty good at knowing when you're trying to dance around the rules).

ashley8918 · May 2015

amakayeb said:
Because we still have to spend the afternoon with them... and adding extra sugar to that mix would not make for a good afternoon for most kids.

And sorry, that bolded sentence wasn't written very well--we don't tell them they can't bring the junk if that's what they want, just that they need to bring something else next time if they want the privilege of buying ice cream.

I mean, I get that this sucks. But their diet still is not your business.

If you really think the kids are doing this behind the parents' backs, a simple call home to the effect of "Johhny is doing this thing. Were you aware?" should suffice.

luckya23 · May 2015

Can this thread just die already???

This happened at the grocery store this evening and my (maybe) final dress fitting is in less than 3 weeks!!

[Deleted User] · May 2015

@luckya23 but you have carrots and bananas so it basically cancels each other out!

luckya23 · May 2015

The carrots are for pasta salad!! lol

banana468 · May 2015

ashley8918 said:

amakayeb said:
Because we still have to spend the afternoon with them... and adding extra sugar to that mix would not make for a good afternoon for most kids.

And sorry, that bolded sentence wasn't written very well--we don't tell them they can't bring the junk if that's what they want, just that they need to bring something else next time if they want the privilege of buying ice cream.
I mean, I get that this sucks. But their diet still is not your business.

If you really think the kids are doing this behind the parents' backs, a simple call home to the effect of "Johhny is doing this thing. Were you aware?" should suffice.

I don't really agree. The teacher is in charge of that child for the hours that the child is in the school. Eating ice cream is a privilege - not a right. If the child has shown that a diet of junk food and ice cream leads to poor behavior in the classroom where s/he will not pay attention and may be more of a disruption for the other children then I think the teacher has a right to tell the child that s/he isn't allowed the ice cream.

This is far different from taking the mom-supplied lunch. And if the mom-supplied lunch is continually lacking in nutritional content, the teacher would probably need to contact the parent about it.

tcnoble · May 2015

ashley8918 said:
Because we still have to spend the afternoon with them... and adding extra sugar to that mix would not make for a good afternoon for most kids.

And sorry, that bolded sentence wasn't written very well--we don't tell them they can't bring the junk if that's what they want, just that they need to bring something else next time if they want the privilege of buying ice cream.

I mean, I get that this sucks. But their diet still is not your business.

If you really think the kids are doing this behind the parents' backs, a simple call home to the effect of "Johhny is doing this thing. Were you aware?" should suffice.

This. We have a snack shack at our school and some kids will buy these giant bags of popcorn, takis, cheetos, etc. and EAT THEM ALL in one sitting. We had one kid who brought $20 one day and spent every last dime. This seemed strange (given our demographic) so we called home and mom had given him that money to put IN his lunch account. We didn't take his snacks away from him or forbid him to eat them, though.

ashley8918 · May 2015

tcnoble said:
Because we still have to spend the afternoon with them... and adding extra sugar to that mix would not make for a good afternoon for most kids.

And sorry, that bolded sentence wasn't written very well--we don't tell them they can't bring the junk if that's what they want, just that they need to bring something else next time if they want the privilege of buying ice cream.

I mean, I get that this sucks. But their diet still is not your business.

If you really think the kids are doing this behind the parents' backs, a simple call home to the effect of "Johhny is doing this thing. Were you aware?" should suffice.

This. We have a snack shack at our school and some kids will buy these giant bags of popcorn, takis, cheetos, etc. and EAT THEM ALL in one sitting. We had one kid who brought $20 one day and spent every last dime. This seemed strange (given our demographic) so we called home and mom had given him that money to put IN his lunch account. We didn't take his snacks away from him or forbid him to eat them, though.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And this is exactly the way these sorts of things should be handled. Butt the hell out, but when you must butt in, do so in the least intrusive and dickish way. If anyone EVER told my kid what they could and could not eat at school, they would have another thing coming to them.

I am the parent, not you (general). Your job is to teach my kid, not monitor his nutrition. MYOB.

banana468 · May 2015

ashley8918 said:

tcnoble said:
Because we still have to spend the afternoon with them... and adding extra sugar to that mix would not make for a good afternoon for most kids.

And sorry, that bolded sentence wasn't written very well--we don't tell them they can't bring the junk if that's what they want, just that they need to bring something else next time if they want the privilege of buying ice cream.
I mean, I get that this sucks. But their diet still is not your business.

If you really think the kids are doing this behind the parents' backs, a simple call home to the effect of "Johhny is doing this thing. Were you aware?" should suffice.

This. We have a snack shack at our school and some kids will buy these giant bags of popcorn, takis, cheetos, etc. and EAT THEM ALL in one sitting. We had one kid who brought $20 one day and spent every last dime. This seemed strange (given our demographic) so we called home and mom had given him that money to put IN his lunch account. We didn't take his snacks away from him or forbid him to eat them, though.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And this is exactly the way these sorts of things should be handled. Butt the hell out, but when you must butt in, do so in the least intrusive and dickish way. If anyone EVER told my kid what they could and could not eat at school, they would have another thing coming to them.

I am the parent, not you (general). Your job is to teach my kid, not monitor his nutrition. MYOB.

How is that exactly possible? The kid is with the teacher more hours in a day than he / she is with his parents. So the teacher is supposed to get a kid in the class and if mom deems it OK to feed him cheezy poofs and chocolate bars the teacher should just STFU because mom knows best?

Yeah I don't think so. I agree with you if we are talking about "normal" parents but I don't think you can tell a teacher that she is only in charge of teaching but not in charge of the other stuff while she's responsible for the kid. And I'll be the first one to argue that DD should be able to eat a peanut butter and jelly every day if that's what she wants for lunch because that's a reasonable lunch IMO.

But I think it's a really dangerous precedent to say that the teacher isn't in charge and the child can eat anything when we're talking about a young person. And it doesn't take a child to get too old before he's sassing the teacher saying, "My mom told me that I can eat whatever I want and you can't stop me!"

ashley8918 · May 2015

banana468 said:

tcnoble said:
Because we still have to spend the afternoon with them... and adding extra sugar to that mix would not make for a good afternoon for most kids.

And sorry, that bolded sentence wasn't written very well--we don't tell them they can't bring the junk if that's what they want, just that they need to bring something else next time if they want the privilege of buying ice cream.
I mean, I get that this sucks. But their diet still is not your business.

If you really think the kids are doing this behind the parents' backs, a simple call home to the effect of "Johhny is doing this thing. Were you aware?" should suffice.

This. We have a snack shack at our school and some kids will buy these giant bags of popcorn, takis, cheetos, etc. and EAT THEM ALL in one sitting. We had one kid who brought $20 one day and spent every last dime. This seemed strange (given our demographic) so we called home and mom had given him that money to put IN his lunch account. We didn't take his snacks away from him or forbid him to eat them, though.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And this is exactly the way these sorts of things should be handled. Butt the hell out, but when you must butt in, do so in the least intrusive and dickish way. If anyone EVER told my kid what they could and could not eat at school, they would have another thing coming to them.

I am the parent, not you (general). Your job is to teach my kid, not monitor his nutrition. MYOB.

How is that exactly possible? The kid is with the teacher more hours in a day than he / she is with his parents. So the teacher is supposed to get a kid in the class and if mom deems it OK to feed him cheezy poofs and chocolate bars the teacher should just STFU because mom knows best?

Yeah I don't think so. I agree with you if we are talking about "normal" parents but I don't think you can tell a teacher that she is only in charge of teaching but not in charge of the other stuff while she's responsible for the kid. And I'll be the first one to argue that DD should be able to eat a peanut butter and jelly every day if that's what she wants for lunch because that's a reasonable lunch IMO.

But I think it's a really dangerous precedent to say that the teacher isn't in charge and the child can eat anything when we're talking about a young person. And it doesn't take a child to get too old before he's sassing the teacher saying, "My mom told me that I can eat whatever I want and you can't stop me!"

___________________________________________________________

Yes. Parents should get to decide what's best for their children, period. Now, if it becomes a real, serious nutrition concern and talking to the parent(s) doesn't work, the teacher is free to contact CPS and report the parent(s) for neglect.

KatieinBkln · May 2015

luckya23 said:
Can this thread just die already???
This happened at the grocery store this evening and my (maybe) final dress fitting is in less than 3 weeks!!

I ate one of those very Oreo packs last night (due to this thread, dammit).

And FTR, these "single serving" packs come with 6 cookies. So I guess that solves the mystery of "how many Oreos are a reasonable/normal serving." (Just kidding, the food industry would gladly repackage the entire family pack as 1 serving if they thought they could get away with it).

tcnoble · May 2015

ashley8918 said:

tcnoble said:
Because we still have to spend the afternoon with them... and adding extra sugar to that mix would not make for a good afternoon for most kids.

And sorry, that bolded sentence wasn't written very well--we don't tell them they can't bring the junk if that's what they want, just that they need to bring something else next time if they want the privilege of buying ice cream.
I mean, I get that this sucks. But their diet still is not your business.

If you really think the kids are doing this behind the parents' backs, a simple call home to the effect of "Johhny is doing this thing. Were you aware?" should suffice.

This. We have a snack shack at our school and some kids will buy these giant bags of popcorn, takis, cheetos, etc. and EAT THEM ALL in one sitting. We had one kid who brought $20 one day and spent every last dime. This seemed strange (given our demographic) so we called home and mom had given him that money to put IN his lunch account. We didn't take his snacks away from him or forbid him to eat them, though.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And this is exactly the way these sorts of things should be handled. Butt the hell out, but when you must butt in, do so in the least intrusive and dickish way. If anyone EVER told my kid what they could and could not eat at school, they would have another thing coming to them.

I am the parent, not you (general). Your job is to teach my kid, not monitor his nutrition. MYOB.

How is that exactly possible? The kid is with the teacher more hours in a day than he / she is with his parents. So the teacher is supposed to get a kid in the class and if mom deems it OK to feed him cheezy poofs and chocolate bars the teacher should just STFU because mom knows best?

Yeah I don't think so. I agree with you if we are talking about "normal" parents but I don't think you can tell a teacher that she is only in charge of teaching but not in charge of the other stuff while she's responsible for the kid. And I'll be the first one to argue that DD should be able to eat a peanut butter and jelly every day if that's what she wants for lunch because that's a reasonable lunch IMO.

But I think it's a really dangerous precedent to say that the teacher isn't in charge and the child can eat anything when we're talking about a young person. And it doesn't take a child to get too old before he's sassing the teacher saying, "My mom told me that I can eat whatever I want and you can't stop me!"

___________________________________________________________

Yes. Parents should get to decide what's best for their children, period. Now, if it becomes a real, serious nutrition concern and talking to the parent(s) doesn't work, the teacher is free to contact CPS and report the parent(s) for neglect.

BOX BOX BOX

This is important to note. If I saw a student continuously coming to school with nothing but money for snack shack, and not eating real lunch, I would first talk to parents, and if parents brush it under the rug... we do have the responsibility to report neglect to CPS. There will always be circumstances where it's "right" for a teacher to step in, and always circumstances where it's considered "wrong."

I always joke with DH that I spend more time with my kiddos than I do with him, but it's true. For some of my students, I am the adult they see the most and spend the most time with. I am responsible for way more than just teaching these kids. I am their counselor, their confidant, their teacher, their disciplinarian, their friend.

Although I am those roles, I am not their parent or guardian. If mom wants to send Johnny with oreos every single day and I always notice he is hyper after lunch? Maybe I find some ways to use that energy and help him have the best afternoon for both of us. I cannot tell Johnny's mom to stop sending cookies, or tell him not to eat them, because it creates a hyper student.

Now, if the ONLY thing in Johnny's lunch is a stack of oreos, there's the bigger problem.

KatieinBkln · May 2015

ashley8918 said:

banana468 said:

tcnoble said:
Because we still have to spend the afternoon with them... and adding extra sugar to that mix would not make for a good afternoon for most kids.

And sorry, that bolded sentence wasn't written very well--we don't tell them they can't bring the junk if that's what they want, just that they need to bring something else next time if they want the privilege of buying ice cream.
I mean, I get that this sucks. But their diet still is not your business.

If you really think the kids are doing this behind the parents' backs, a simple call home to the effect of "Johhny is doing this thing. Were you aware?" should suffice.
This. We have a snack shack at our school and some kids will buy these giant bags of popcorn, takis, cheetos, etc. and EAT THEM ALL in one sitting. We had one kid who brought $20 one day and spent every last dime. This seemed strange (given our demographic) so we called home and mom had given him that money to put IN his lunch account. We didn't take his snacks away from him or forbid him to eat them, though.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And this is exactly the way these sorts of things should be handled. Butt the hell out, but when you must butt in, do so in the least intrusive and dickish way. If anyone EVER told my kid what they could and could not eat at school, they would have another thing coming to them.

I am the parent, not you (general). Your job is to teach my kid, not monitor his nutrition. MYOB.

How is that exactly possible? The kid is with the teacher more hours in a day than he / she is with his parents. So the teacher is supposed to get a kid in the class and if mom deems it OK to feed him cheezy poofs and chocolate bars the teacher should just STFU because mom knows best?

Yeah I don't think so. I agree with you if we are talking about "normal" parents but I don't think you can tell a teacher that she is only in charge of teaching but not in charge of the other stuff while she's responsible for the kid. And I'll be the first one to argue that DD should be able to eat a peanut butter and jelly every day if that's what she wants for lunch because that's a reasonable lunch IMO.

But I think it's a really dangerous precedent to say that the teacher isn't in charge and the child can eat anything when we're talking about a young person. And it doesn't take a child to get too old before he's sassing the teacher saying, "My mom told me that I can eat whatever I want and you can't stop me!"

___________________________________________________________

Yes. Parents should get to decide what's best for their children, period. Now, if it becomes a real, serious nutrition concern and talking to the parent(s) doesn't work, the teacher is free to contact CPS and report the parent(s) for neglect.

Ok, philosophical question about this particular situation:

If the buying of ice cream on Fridays is a specific privilege that the teachers are allowed to mete out, doesn't this kind of qualify under the "management has the right to refuse service to anyone" umbrella? I mean, sure, it should maybe be clear that it's not as simple as "finish your lunch=you get to buy ice cream." Maybe it should be "good behavior, including but not limited to finishing one's lunch, can result in being allowed to buy ice cream."

I don't know, I think it's a little different when the ice cream is A. bought and sold, and B. specifically framed as a reward.

I don't have kids; I could be wrong.

lurkergirl · May 2015

Whatever, all teachers know that candy is the best bribe positive behavior reward.

littlepep · May 2015

lurkergirl said:
Whatever, all teachers know that candy is the best bribe positive behavior reward.

True story: my preschool teachers use to bribe me with candy to take a nap because I hated sitting still. If I laid quietly on the floor, I got a piece of candy after nap time.

hellosweetie1015 · May 2015

littlepep said:

lurkergirl said:
Whatever, all teachers know that candy is the best bribe positive behavior reward.
True story: my preschool teachers use to bribe me with candy to take a nap because I hated sitting still. If I laid quietly on the floor, I got a piece of candy after nap time.

When my baby sister was in the third grade, she had to be bribed. At the end of the day every day, she got a piece of candy for not going up to the teacher's desk that day. She was homeschooled for first and second grades, and didn't realize that she couldn't just walk up and ask a question anymore, so the teacher had to find a way to encourage her not to get up and to raise her hand instead.

VulgarGirl · May 2015

So this hyper active kids talk reminded me of when I was a kid and was first diagnosed with ADD. We were trying to see if we could hold off on medicating me, so my parents were trying a few different ideas. One of the things with people with ADD/ADHD is that stimulates can actually help you focus and kind of chill thing out in your brain.

So when my mom would pack my lunch she'd include some little drink with caffiene it. Not ya know an energy drink, but like a soda or sometimes a super sweet iced coffee drink she concocted. I was around 7 maybe 8 at the time.

Anyways one day at lunch I'm sipping on my caffeine drink and a teacher (long term sub) sees me and asks where I got my drink. I tell her my mom gave it to me. And she says it's not ok for a kid to have that and she's calling my mom and we're having a parent/teacher conference.

My parents were not thrilled to be called down to the school for me consuming my lunch. But it was kind of fun to watch the teachers faces when my parents explained WHY they were making dietary decisions that might not jive with their school of thought.

southernbelle0915 · May 2015

KatieinBkln said:

ashley8918 said:

banana468 said:

tcnoble said:
Because we still have to spend the afternoon with them... and adding extra sugar to that mix would not make for a good afternoon for most kids.

And sorry, that bolded sentence wasn't written very well--we don't tell them they can't bring the junk if that's what they want, just that they need to bring something else next time if they want the privilege of buying ice cream.
I mean, I get that this sucks. But their diet still is not your business.

If you really think the kids are doing this behind the parents' backs, a simple call home to the effect of "Johhny is doing this thing. Were you aware?" should suffice.
This. We have a snack shack at our school and some kids will buy these giant bags of popcorn, takis, cheetos, etc. and EAT THEM ALL in one sitting. We had one kid who brought $20 one day and spent every last dime. This seemed strange (given our demographic) so we called home and mom had given him that money to put IN his lunch account. We didn't take his snacks away from him or forbid him to eat them, though.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And this is exactly the way these sorts of things should be handled. Butt the hell out, but when you must butt in, do so in the least intrusive and dickish way. If anyone EVER told my kid what they could and could not eat at school, they would have another thing coming to them.

I am the parent, not you (general). Your job is to teach my kid, not monitor his nutrition. MYOB.

How is that exactly possible? The kid is with the teacher more hours in a day than he / she is with his parents. So the teacher is supposed to get a kid in the class and if mom deems it OK to feed him cheezy poofs and chocolate bars the teacher should just STFU because mom knows best?

Yeah I don't think so. I agree with you if we are talking about "normal" parents but I don't think you can tell a teacher that she is only in charge of teaching but not in charge of the other stuff while she's responsible for the kid. And I'll be the first one to argue that DD should be able to eat a peanut butter and jelly every day if that's what she wants for lunch because that's a reasonable lunch IMO.

But I think it's a really dangerous precedent to say that the teacher isn't in charge and the child can eat anything when we're talking about a young person. And it doesn't take a child to get too old before he's sassing the teacher saying, "My mom told me that I can eat whatever I want and you can't stop me!"

___________________________________________________________

Yes. Parents should get to decide what's best for their children, period. Now, if it becomes a real, serious nutrition concern and talking to the parent(s) doesn't work, the teacher is free to contact CPS and report the parent(s) for neglect.

Ok, philosophical question about this particular situation:

If the buying of ice cream on Fridays is a specific privilege that the teachers are allowed to mete out, doesn't this kind of qualify under the "management has the right to refuse service to anyone" umbrella? I mean, sure, it should maybe be clear that it's not as simple as "finish your lunch=you get to buy ice cream." Maybe it should be "good behavior, including but not limited to finishing one's lunch, can result in being allowed to buy ice cream."

I don't know, I think it's a little different when the ice cream is A. bought and sold, and B. specifically framed as a reward.

I don't have kids; I could be wrong.

This is where my head was, too. The kids aren't entitled to ice cream. Its not a birthday treat or some other treat that's being given to everyone except them. It's a privilege and the teachers decide (at their discretion) whether the kid can buy it.

I do see the flip side though. Because think about this little kid. Do they really have control over what their parents pack for them? Or what's available in their house? Probably not. Which is kind of sad if their parents pack them a load of junk, they're used to eating only junk, and then some person is like "no, junk is a privilege/treat and you've already had a lot." As an adult, I get it...but as a kid who only knows junk food, it would be confusing and just seem unfair.

No oreos for this kid..

Re: No oreos for this kid..

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