Expecting to Expect... Head spinning

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2015

thisismynickname said:

jenna8984 said:

STARMOON44 said:
Does no one just have sex any more? Take your folic acid, get some sperm all up in there, and see what happens.

If you enjoy learning tons about this process and charting and making it a big thing by all means, but unless you've got some specific concern it's completely fine to just go do the sex thing a whole lot.

I definitely agree, and like I said I'm just charting because I'm curious to know about my cycle, not necessarily to get pregant the FIRST try or anything like that.
I can't speak for others, but I can say for myself that it is a little different being a little "older". I am early 30's. So I don't exactly feel like I have a few years to just dick around (literally) and see what happens. I'd rather be a slightly proactive so that if if does take a while, I can maybe figure out why and help my doctor see why, and help the process along.
LOL. Right now our plan is to just have a lot of unprotected sex and see what happens. But, also in the early 30's, we've seen folks have surprise babies, we've seen people get pregnant in the first few months or even the first month, we've had friends have miscarriages, and we have friends who have been trying for years and no results. It's a crapshoot. But, if something is out there that is known to hinder fertility, or hinder the growth or viability of a fetus, I'd like to be aware. To be honest with y'all, I had pre-cancer on my cervix and had to have very minor surgery (called LEEP). My doc did tell me that people who have had pre-cancer or actual cancer could be at higher risk of pre-term labor. That's good stuff to know. I have a friend who had LEEP who just had her second baby and had no issues with either pregnancy. Anything could happen; anything could go perfectly fine.

I had the same thing; doc just needs to check my cervix more frequently (every 2 weeks right now) to make sure it's still competent. If it's not, she'll sew it shut. So far it's doing a bang-up job!

And it's only smart to check things like immunity before TTC. Sure it's not how people did it in the old days but we're smarter now than we were then.

banana468 · May 2015

STARMOON44 said:
Does no one just have sex any more? Take your folic acid, get some sperm all up in there, and see what happens.

If you enjoy learning tons about this process and charting and making it a big thing by all means, but unless you've got some specific concern it's completely fine to just go do the sex thing a whole lot.

You can certainly do that. I mean, if you're TTC then hopefully you're having a ton more sex than those in the "Please no. Just no. Seriously no!" camp. But that doesn't mean that you can't try to make the best of it.

Let's compare it to experiencing the foliage in New England. Sure you can just drive to New England but to get the maximum leaf peeping experience you should know when it's peak season. And you should go to there during that time. And if you want to make sure you see everything then go during daylight and make sure you have your glasses on.

Conception is kind of like that. You may just be out for a drive and BAM - look at those beautiful leaves! Or you could find that you left too late so you got there in the dark and what was left was beginning to turn. Having knowledge doesn't need to take the fun out of it.

And seriously - kiddo's going to make friends with a tweezer just like her mom. The dark hair and milky white skin are a combo for a quality unibrow.

And speaking to the fatigue, I'd find that I could make it through a work day no problem. It's like my body knew to hang on for the 9ish hours that I was out but I'd often walk in the door and beg DH to watch DD (when I was pregnant with Chiquito) so I could get a bit of a nap. Then I'd be off to bed early too. You just sort of figure out how to make it work - just like you ultimately figure out how to survive for months without sleeping through the night.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2015

That's a great analogy banana!

STARMOON44 · May 2015

MagicInk said:

STARMOON44 said:
Does no one just have sex any more? Take your folic acid, get some sperm all up in there, and see what happens.

If you enjoy learning tons about this process and charting and making it a big thing by all means, but unless you've got some specific concern it's completely fine to just go do the sex thing a whole lot.
Yeah we kept just having sex but....still couldn't get her pregnant.

No matter how hard we scissored, or what position I fingered her in, or how many times a night I ate her pussy...still couldn't knock her up.

Which is why I specified having sex and getting sperm up in there? I can't tell if I've actually offended you by not saying, in addition to sex that gets sperm inside you, that I'm referring specifically to penis ejaculating in vagina when neither party is using any means of birth control or if you're just enjoying listing types of sex, but it wasn't my intention to imply that any kind of sex can get you pregnant, or that activities that don't run a pregnancy risk aren't sex, and I'm really sorry if that's not how it came across!

chibiyui · May 2015

I've been temping and taking prenatals, but we're still NTNP until next year cause we pushed our trip back.

My pinterest Nursery board is JACKED.

AprilH81 · May 2015

chibiyui said:
I've been temping and taking prenatals, but we're still NTNP until next year cause we pushed our trip back.

My pinterest Nursery board is JACKED.

We are TTC an I have a private board that is full of all kinds of fun stuff.

banana468 · May 2015

lolo883 said:
That's a great analogy banana!

Thanks. I don't want to turn this into another heated thread and just wanted to point out how knowledge can equal power. Sometimes you don't care about things but if you're eager to see results then it helps to know.

momofbride530 · May 2015

I am the mom of three, two of whom are grown. I can tell you from experience that there are always new "studies" that say this or that is bad for pregnancy/conception. I drank a Dr Pepper everyday - my kids aren't over weight. I didn't take folic acid or any other vitamins besides prenatal - all three are extremely healthy and smart. Also, you can do everything "right" and it won't guarantee a healthy pregnancy or baby.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to not stress yourself out. Follow your Dr's advice and don't over think things.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2015

momofbride530 said:
I am the mom of three, two of whom are grown. I can tell you from experience that there are always new "studies" that say this or that is bad for pregnancy/conception. I drank a Dr Pepper everyday - my kids aren't over weight. I didn't take folic acid or any other vitamins besides prenatal - all three are extremely healthy and smart. Also, you can do everything "right" and it won't guarantee a healthy pregnancy or baby.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to not stress yourself out. Follow your Dr's advice and don't over think things.

Isn't folic acid sort of what makes a vitamin a prenatal vitamin?

momofbride530 · May 2015

Prenatal vitamins are basically just iron tablets. I had a script for them but my Dr just told me to buy iron supplements OTC. It was cheaper. And I learned to take them right before bed so they didn't make me sick.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2015

momofbride530 said:
Prenatal vitamins are basically just iron tablets. I had a script for them but my Dr just told me to buy iron supplements OTC. It was cheaper. And I learned to take them right before bed so they didn't make me sick.

Maybe that was true 18+ years ago but it's not anymore.

momofbride530 · May 2015

It was true less than 15 years ago too

lovesclimbing · May 2015

STARMOON44 said:
Does no one just have sex any more? Take your folic acid, get some sperm all up in there, and see what happens.

If you enjoy learning tons about this process and charting and making it a big thing by all means, but unless you've got some specific concern it's completely fine to just go do the sex thing a whole lot.

That's what H and I plan to do. When I first started considering what we'd use for birth control (H and I have only ever had sex with each other), I read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." I found it super interesting and informative, but I have no plans to do any charting and temping and figuring out my ovulation unless I absolutely have to.

I figure I'll start taking prenatals and we'll go at it until we get pregnant or until we haven't gotten pregnant after six to eight months, at which point I'll start doing all that stuff. I don't think we'll have to. Neither of us have any health problems that we're aware of and nothing runs in our family.

For most people, doing all that charting and temping and studying your cervical mucus and all that is not really necessary. Sure, do it if it makes (general) you feel better, but for the vast majority of women, you would have gotten pregnant relatively quickly without doing that.

ETA: And by relatively quickly, I mean in less than the six months of trying without getting pregnant at which point you should consider other things - charting, a specialist, etc. (Assuming I'm remembering correctly the six months number.)

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2015

Well. My prenatal doesn't have iron in it at all. I think the importance of folic acid in preventing neural tube defects is a relatively new development.

momofbride530 · May 2015

My point is that women have been getting pregnant for thousands of years. Studies come and go. What studies say is good now may not be in 10 years.

Lovesclimbing makes some very good points. Don't stress about it at first. When you stress, sex becomes a chore. If, after six months you aren't pregnant, talk to your Dr.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2015

momofbride530 said:
My point is that women have been getting pregnant for thousands of years. Studies come and go. What studies say is good now may not be in 10 years.

Lovesclimbing makes some very good points. Don't stress about it at first. When you stress, sex becomes a chore. If, after six months you aren't pregnant, talk to your Dr.

I don't see anyone here advising that anyone stress about it, or that going the "bang it out and hope for the best" method is a bad idea. I hate this perception that there's only one right way to do this. People get so damn defensive about whatever THEIR method/belief is/was and it's really unnecessary.

AprilH81 · May 2015

momofbride530 said:
My point is that women have been getting pregnant for thousands of years. Studies come and go. What studies say is good now may not be in 10 years.

Lovesclimbing makes some very good points. Don't stress about it at first. When you stress, sex becomes a chore. If, after six months you aren't pregnant, talk to your Dr.

FYI the 6 month rule is only for women over 35 or for people with known issues that could affect fertility (PCOS, lack of menstrual cycles, very irregular cycles, etc.).

For "healthy" couples the number is one year of trying without a pregnancy.

If within that time you get pregnant and suffer a loss the clock restarts. If you suffer multiple losses you can should then move on to a specialist.

momofbride530 · May 2015

I think you missed the whole point of my post but I'm not going to argue it out. I just know that when I was TTC it helped a lot to talk to other women who already had children. If you have never been pregnant you don't really know what to expect.

AprilH81 · May 2015

momofbride530 said:
I think you missed the whole point of my post but I'm not going to argue it out. I just know that when I was TTC it helped a lot to talk to other women who already had children. If you have never been pregnant you don't really know what to expect.

I didn't misunderstand anything. I wanted to make sure that fellow knotties understood the current guidelines about seeking out a specialist or asking for testing. Appointments for specialists are hard enough to get without having a bunch of anxious couples trying to get appointments when they haven't gotten pregnant in 6 months.

[Deleted User] · May 2015

I think lolo hit the nail on the head... TTC is one of the most personal things there is, and there is no one size fits all way of approaching it.

Your uterus, your business! Do your research and decide what approach is best for you and your H!

Just because someone wants to use more intensive methods than just good ol' going at it, doesn't mean they are stressing or doing it a "wrong" way.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2015

momofbride530 said:
I think you missed the whole point of my post but I'm not going to argue it out. I just know that when I was TTC it helped a lot to talk to other women who already had children. If you have never been pregnant you don't really know what to expect.

Nobody knows who you're talking to when you don't quote or tag. If you're talking to me, I AM pregnant. And found nothing stressful about temping - actually the reason I did it was to avoid something else women have been doing for thousands of years - ruining clothes with a surprise period. Temping let me know exactly when to expect it, after 10 years of having it regulated by birth control and 10 years of being horribly irregular before that.

And certainly nothing stressful about taking vitamins. What a strange thing to advise against.

VulgarGirl · May 2015

Well Wifey and I drank cherry slushies spiked with booze when we conceived. So this is clearly the only way to get pregnant.

Also my mom ate a good deal of watermelon while pregnant with me and I was born 10 weeks early. So watermelon causes premature birth.

sarahufl · May 2015

I cut out most of the caffeine and take prenatals. I also just take care of myself and make sure I am in decent shape. I also temp and chart but I am not super strict about that right now because we are benched for another 6 weeks.

I am going to be the bummer in this thread based on a recent experience and just say to be an advocate for yourself. I KNEW something was wrong with my pregnancy and I kept being told not to worry, what I was feeling was normal and not a cause for concern. Until I ended up in emergency surgery.

I would never wish a pregnancy loss on anyone, but I think understanding what may be WRONG with a pregnancy can be helpful as well and trying to discern what is normal from what isn't.

FiancB · May 2015

Well, I do want to get pregnant first try because I really want to have a summer baby for work and school reasons. It's also helpful to know when you ovulate to figure out a more accurate date of conception (so Dr doesn't try to induce thinking you're overdue when you're not). And charting can help you figure out whether the problem is ovulating or if you are in fact getting fertilized but the embryo isn't making it for whatever reason. That info will really help you narrow down the issue if one does end up coming up.

Plus, I had to study reproduction a lot in school so I sort of feel like I'm doing a little experiment on myself. I know if I just left it up to chance and it ended up taking a while, I'd be irrationally afraid that there was something wrong with me. I'd much rather just get pregnant as soon as we decide it's time and get it over with. These are good things to know about yourself, regardless. With the fertility friend app and all that it makes it super easy- I probably wouldn't bother if I had to decipher paper charts, but the app pretty much does it for me. Takes a grand total of MAYBE 5 minutes of my day. I'm not a big planner type normally, but this is something that I feel is important enough to bother with.

So anyway yes I'm getting laid thankyouverymuch but this is still information about my body that I want to know. Plus, this way I know in any given cycle if I've ovulated yet so I don't feel like I have to give up meds and such for who knows how long until I get pregnant.

A lot of prenatals don't have iron. It makes a lot of people nauseous. Mine don't. Folic acid is pretty much the big thing, and some also have DHA. They vary.

VulgarGirl · May 2015

sarahufl said:
I cut out most of the caffeine and take prenatals. I also just take care of myself and make sure I am in decent shape. I also temp and chart but I am not super strict about that right now because we are benched for another 6 weeks.

I am going to be the bummer in this thread based on a recent experience and just say to be an advocate for yourself. I KNEW something was wrong with my pregnancy and I kept being told not to worry, what I was feeling was normal and not a cause for concern. Until I ended up in emergency surgery.

I would never wish a pregnancy loss on anyone, but I think understanding what may be WRONG with a pregnancy can be helpful as well and trying to discern what is normal from what isn't.

I actually think this is really important general advice. Yes doctors are educated and know shit. But you know your body. Speak up, speak often, and speak loudly.

I think way too many women (and men) are worried if being thought of as hysterical or worry warts or that they're "bothering" their doctor. You are not bothering a doctor by paying them to doctor. If they didn't want patients they should have gone into research.

mj8215 · May 2015

So, I have no personal experience to contribute but I thought it would be fun to look into the caffeine/childhood obesity study cited above.

The newsweek article links to the original article, published on PubMed in late 2014:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4389720/pdf/ijo2014196a.pdf

This was a prospective cohort study, and the data forming the basis of the newsweek article statement that "caffeine increases childhood obesity" is the following:

Of the ~630 children in the study, ~500 were from mothers who had caffeine during pregnancy and ~130 were from mothers who did not have caffeine (rounding the numbers here).

The value indicating the increased risk they are giving is an Odds Ratio (OR) of 1.87.

An OR of 1.87 means that the incidence of childhood obesity in kids of mothers who drank coffee was 1.87 times higher. So this tells us something about the relative risk, but not the absolute risk.

Also, they are providing a 95% confidence interval of 1.12 - 3.12, so the true OR actually falls somewhere between those two numbers...

Not saying that the study is invalid, or recommending coffee to anyone expecting/ TTC, just thought I'd put the numbers in perspective here.

And I'm not an OB so I don't have any good advice. Best of luck to everyone trying!

LadyMillil · May 2015

MagicInk said:

I actually think this is really important general advice. Yes doctors are educated and know shit. But you know your body. Speak up, speak often, and speak loudly.

I think way too many women (and men) are worried if being thought of as hysterical or worry warts or that they're "bothering" their doctor. You are not bothering a doctor by paying them to doctor. If they didn't want patients they should have gone into research.

This is why I went into research instead of becoming an MD.

I started temping when I went off BC 2 cycles ago. It takes me less than 2 minutes when I first wake up to take my temperature and record it in fertility friend. Based on my career stage right now, I have an 18 month window to conceive and carry a baby. After that it will be 2 years before we can try again. I am ready to have a baby now so I want to know I am doing everything I can to get pregnant.

ashley8918 · May 2015

sarahufl said:
I cut out most of the caffeine and take prenatals. I also just take care of myself and make sure I am in decent shape. I also temp and chart but I am not super strict about that right now because we are benched for another 6 weeks.

I am going to be the bummer in this thread based on a recent experience and just say to be an advocate for yourself. I KNEW something was wrong with my pregnancy and I kept being told not to worry, what I was feeling was normal and not a cause for concern. Until I ended up in emergency surgery.

I would never wish a pregnancy loss on anyone, but I think understanding what may be WRONG with a pregnancy can be helpful as well and trying to discern what is normal from what isn't.

Yep. I am going to 100% agree with you here. Doctors are smart. Doctors are great. But doctors cannot feel what you are feeling. Always speak up if you feel that things are not right. Be "annoying".

KatieinBkln · May 2015

mj8215 said:
So, I have no personal experience to contribute but I thought it would be fun to look into the caffeine/childhood obesity study cited above.
The newsweek article links to the original article, published on PubMed in late 2014:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4389720/pdf/ijo2014196a.pdf

This was a prospective cohort study, and the data forming the basis of the newsweek article statement that "caffeine increases childhood obesity" is the following:

Of the ~630 children in the study, ~500 were from mothers who had caffeine during pregnancy and ~130 were from mothers who did not have caffeine (rounding the numbers here).
The value indicating the increased risk they are giving is an Odds Ratio (OR) of 1.87.

An OR of 1.87 means that the incidence of childhood obesity in kids of mothers who drank coffee was 1.87 times higher. So this tells us something about the relative risk, but not the absolute risk.
Also, they are providing a 95% confidence interval of 1.12 - 3.12, so the true OR actually falls somewhere between those two numbers...

Not saying that the study is invalid, or recommending coffee to anyone expecting/ TTC, just thought I'd put the numbers in perspective here.

And I'm not an OB so I don't have any good advice. Best of luck to everyone trying!

UNF, UNF, talk science to me!

ashley8918 · May 2015

KatieinBkln said:

mj8215 said:
So, I have no personal experience to contribute but I thought it would be fun to look into the caffeine/childhood obesity study cited above.
The newsweek article links to the original article, published on PubMed in late 2014:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4389720/pdf/ijo2014196a.pdf

This was a prospective cohort study, and the data forming the basis of the newsweek article statement that "caffeine increases childhood obesity" is the following:

Of the ~630 children in the study, ~500 were from mothers who had caffeine during pregnancy and ~130 were from mothers who did not have caffeine (rounding the numbers here).
The value indicating the increased risk they are giving is an Odds Ratio (OR) of 1.87.

An OR of 1.87 means that the incidence of childhood obesity in kids of mothers who drank coffee was 1.87 times higher. So this tells us something about the relative risk, but not the absolute risk.
Also, they are providing a 95% confidence interval of 1.12 - 3.12, so the true OR actually falls somewhere between those two numbers...

Not saying that the study is invalid, or recommending coffee to anyone expecting/ TTC, just thought I'd put the numbers in perspective here.

And I'm not an OB so I don't have any good advice. Best of luck to everyone trying!
UNF, UNF, talk science to me!

Expecting to Expect... Head spinning

Re: Expecting to Expect... Head spinning

Choose Another Board

Search Boards