TV Grumble - FWP Vent

[Deleted User] · June 2015

My fiance and I don't have any kind of television / cable service in our apartment- and I like it. Yeah, I miss watching sporting events, but that's about it. I like that we talk to each other instead of just flip on the TV. When we do watch something, it's a DVD and a decision we make together; not, I'm bored, let me flip on the boob tube. We're also big readers which we do "together" even when reading separate books.

Now he wants to get one of those flat antennas.... booo! I was hoping we'd get at least the first year of marriage under our belts w/o a TV in the house.

*le sigh*

ETA: Thoughts / comments / other FWP vents?

VulgarGirl · June 2015

I love TV. We don't have full cable. We have channels 1-23 and Netflix. We still talk to each other, go outside, do things not TV related. But yeah, vegging on the couch watching mindless TV is nice sometimes.

I don't know. Maybe we're terrible people. Or maybe we're just normal.

If you don't want TV couldn't you like...I don't know...discuss this with him?

Cookie Pusher · June 2015

DH and I love TV. We pretty much have the set on constantly (to drown out the weird noises from our upstairs neighbor, mostly). We also talk a lot. We tend to watch a lot of sports, but watch some cooking shows, PBS, BBC stuff, and NBC cop shows. And we talk about what we're watching. We snuggle on the couch and relax.

If at any point one of us felt our TV consumption was too high or was interfering with the lifestyle we wanted to live, we'd discuss it. I agree with VG that you should talk to him if it's bothering you this much.

lovemesomemonster · June 2015

We have an antenna but no cable and we have netflix. Honestly without cable there's not much on most of the time anyways so once we flip through the 4 stations we get we generally turn it off.

If you are so against it just talk to him?

KatieinBkln · June 2015

Um. Do we all see the irony of someone complaining that TV causes communication issues venting on a forum rather than...communicating?

[Deleted User] · June 2015

I don't hate TV; we enjoy snuggling on the couch during movies and we watch TV series and then talk about favorite characters and such. So I'm not saying TV is horrible.

I just know it could turn into a crutch for not doing things / talking because it's so easy to just flip on (been there, done that with an ex).

I did say something once I recognized it was bothering me. At first I just told him, hey, if you can afford it (I cant!) and you want it, fine. But it didn't feel completely "fine" so I told him I was worried we'd just fall back on TV too much and he suggested limiting the usage to certain days or certain shows.

I can live with that!

FWP solved!

ashtsb · June 2015

We have antenna and netflix/hulu plus. We watch things together, but there are shows I watch that fiance doesn't. We love watching cooking shows together as fiance loves cooking and I like seeing what crazy concoctions happen (Chopped anyone?). We do other things too, like play board games with friends or walk the dogs together. Watching TV doesn't put a dampen on our relationship, I think it just gives us something else to do together.

Maggie0829 · June 2015

I love TV. So does H. We watch shows together and separate. We still spend quality time together talking (usually over a nice dinner), taking our pup on long walks and doing other activities. I mean the only time TV gets in the way of a relationship is if you let it get in the way.

But if you really don't want TV then you need to discuss it with him.

NowIamMrsKlein · June 2015

FI and I love our TV time together. We have several shows that we follow and we love to snuggle on the couch and unwind at the end of the night and watch tv together. We actually find it to be a great bonding experience. We do lots of other things together, hiking, reading, cooking, chatting etc. but all those things don't require much physical contact. We find getting into our pjs and grabbing a blanket and getting all snuggled up close to each other on the couch while we watch a show is actually very conducive to a good relationship.

If we found that TV was interferring with us getting important things done, or we found that it destroyed our ability to communicate than maybe it would be a problem, but as it is an hour/hour and a half of tv before bed has actually done wonders for our relationship/

lyndausvi · June 2015

We are TV people. We have DirectTV so we can get the NFL package.

In the fall we invite people over to watch their favorite team. Most of our friends are transient (including us) so we all get to watch our teams. Sometimes we will have 2 TVs set up if 2 of our teams are playing at the same time. Even though the TV is on, there is a lot of talking going on.

Every morning we watch the news so we can catch up on what's going on in the world.

We watch cooking competition shows together. We do not just sit there watching. Nope, the entire show we are talking about what we would cook if we got those crazy ingredients. DH often gets inspired by what he sees. It's very interactive watching.

We watch HGTV together. We laugh at how crazy some of the prices of houses are around the country. We dream about why our dream house would be.

We watch a lot of documentaries type shows.

One of my favorite things to watch is CBS Sunday Morning. I love that show. DH and I have learned so much from them. We have found quite a few new musical artist from them.

Watching TV does not keep us from communicating at all. But I can see how it can for some people.

[Deleted User] · June 2015

We don't have cable, but we have HBO, Netflix, and Amazon Prime. I think that makes us actually consider what we put on the TV a bit more rather than just "flipping it on," but we also never had a problem with not talking when we had cable.

I am kinda skeptical about the idea that having a TV or cable or any of that actually gets in the way of communication with a partner. Maybe that is just because I've never experienced it, but...we've never had issues talking just because we have a TV.

NowIamMrsKlein · June 2015

lyndausvi said:

We are TV people. We have DirectTV so we can get the NFL package.

In the fall we invite people over to watch their favorite team. Most of our friends are transient (including us) so we all get to watch our teams. Sometimes we will have 2 TVs set up if 2 of our teams are playing at the same time. Even though the TV is on, there is a lot of talking going on.

Every morning we watch the news so we can catch up on what's going on in the world.

We watch cooking competition shows together. We do not just sit there watching. Nope, the entire show we are talking about what we would cook if we got those crazy ingredients. DH often gets inspired by what he sees. It's very interactive watching.

We watch HGTV together. We laugh at how crazy some of the prices of houses are around the country. We dream about why our dream house would be.

We watch a lot of documentaries type shows.

One of my favorite things to watch is CBS Sunday Morning. I love that show. DH and I have learned so much from them. We have found quite a few new musical artist from them.

Watching TV does not keep us from communicating at all. But I can see how it can for some people.

We do the same thing! we love cooking shows and always talk about how we would approach certain things or if something sounds delicious we make note of it to look for a similar recipe to try.

And HGTV! Watch it all the time and bitch about how unfairly cheap some of the houses are compared to where we live. They'll be looking at this beautiful mansion of a log cabin on a lake and with 15 acres and its like 195000. And they are complaining about how expensive it is! And where we live my tiny 2 bedroom 70's townhouse sold for 250000K.

There's a lot of bitter 'i hates them' when we watch that show.

[Deleted User] · June 2015

abcdevonn said:

We don't have cable, but we have HBO, Netflix, and Amazon Prime. I think that makes us actually consider what we put on the TV a bit more rather than just "flipping it on," but we also never had a problem with not talking when we had cable.

I am kinda skeptical about the idea that having a TV or cable or any of that actually gets in the way of communication with a partner. Maybe that is just because I've never experienced it, but...we've never had issues talking just because we have a TV.

Maybe I'm having a hard time w/ it because my ex b/f used to want to do nothing but watch TV and on top of it wouldn't really even talk with me about it. We used to watch Hells Kitchen together and I'd try to get him to talk about his favorite chef or whether or not he'd eat some of the foods they were cooking and he'd just kind of grunt at me.

[Deleted User] · June 2015

FeeleyToBe said:

abcdevonn said:

We don't have cable, but we have HBO, Netflix, and Amazon Prime. I think that makes us actually consider what we put on the TV a bit more rather than just "flipping it on," but we also never had a problem with not talking when we had cable.

I am kinda skeptical about the idea that having a TV or cable or any of that actually gets in the way of communication with a partner. Maybe that is just because I've never experienced it, but...we've never had issues talking just because we have a TV.

Maybe I'm having a hard time w/ it because my ex b/f used to want to do nothing but watch TV and on top of it wouldn't really even talk with me about it. We used to watch Hells Kitchen together and I'd try to get him to talk about his favorite chef or whether or not he'd eat some of the foods they were cooking and he'd just kind of grunt at me.

scribe95 said:

That's an ex-boyfriend problem - not a TV problem.

Yeah, that sounds like an ex-problem to me as well. Some people are just lumps. If he was being a lump, that's on him, not the TV.

Maggie0829 · June 2015

FeeleyToBe said:

abcdevonn said:

We don't have cable, but we have HBO, Netflix, and Amazon Prime. I think that makes us actually consider what we put on the TV a bit more rather than just "flipping it on," but we also never had a problem with not talking when we had cable.

I am kinda skeptical about the idea that having a TV or cable or any of that actually gets in the way of communication with a partner. Maybe that is just because I've never experienced it, but...we've never had issues talking just because we have a TV.

Maybe I'm having a hard time w/ it because my ex b/f used to want to do nothing but watch TV and on top of it wouldn't really even talk with me about it. We used to watch Hells Kitchen together and I'd try to get him to talk about his favorite chef or whether or not he'd eat some of the foods they were cooking and he'd just kind of grunt at me.

So because your ex was non-communicative (he is an ex for a reason) you don't want tv in your house because you fear your H will do the same thing? Sounds like this is a personal matter that you need to resolve within yourself.

[Deleted User] · June 2015

scribe95 said:

That's an ex-boyfriend problem - not a TV problem.

Fair enough.

[Deleted User] · June 2015

Maggie0829 said:

FeeleyToBe said:

abcdevonn said:

We don't have cable, but we have HBO, Netflix, and Amazon Prime. I think that makes us actually consider what we put on the TV a bit more rather than just "flipping it on," but we also never had a problem with not talking when we had cable.

I am kinda skeptical about the idea that having a TV or cable or any of that actually gets in the way of communication with a partner. Maybe that is just because I've never experienced it, but...we've never had issues talking just because we have a TV.

Maybe I'm having a hard time w/ it because my ex b/f used to want to do nothing but watch TV and on top of it wouldn't really even talk with me about it. We used to watch Hells Kitchen together and I'd try to get him to talk about his favorite chef or whether or not he'd eat some of the foods they were cooking and he'd just kind of grunt at me.

So because your ex was non-communicative (he is an ex for a reason) you don't want tv in your house because you fear your H will do the same thing? Sounds like this is a personal matter that you need to resolve within yourself.

I guess my point was badly made. @abcdevonn said she was skeptical b/c she hadn't experienced it. I was jumping to the other end of the spectrum b/c I HAVE experienced it; I just worried I'd be in the same boat w/ my fiance possibly if TV came into the house. Obviously I jumped to a bad conclusion in the moments after hearing his desire for the TV antenna.

novella1186 · June 2015

I don't think having TV automatically means you won't do stuff anymore.

Like PP have said, I love TV, mostly for the background noise but also to be able to just sit and do nothing. A lot of the time I paint or draw while the TV is on and I don't even look at it; as mentioned, it's just background noise for me.

When the weather is nice, H and I both stay outside as much as possible so we don't watch TV at all. When the weather is crappy, sometimes we just sit in the quiet and both read a book, or clean the house.

We cook a lot, we listen to music and dance like idiots in the kitchen a lot, we both have random hobbies that we work on a lot, I even pick up random hobbies and experiments like making planters out of poured cement, rehabbing old thrift-store furniture, archery, etc. Name a weird random thing you could try and I've probably done it or have it on my to-do list.

We do all these things, despite having satellite and a billion channels and movie subscriptions. But you can bet your ass that when I'm having a hangover day, I'm gonna love watching 5 straight hours of HGTV.

TrixieJess · June 2015

FeeleyToBe said:

My fiance and I don't have any kind of television / cable service in our apartment- and I like it. Yeah, I miss watching sporting events, but that's about it. I like that we talk to each other instead of just flip on the TV. When we do watch something, it's a DVD and a decision we make together; not, I'm bored, let me flip on the boob tube. We're also big readers which we do "together" even when reading separate books.

Now he wants to get one of those flat antennas.... booo! I was hoping we'd get at least the first year of marriage under our belts w/o a TV in the house.

*le sigh*

ETA: Thoughts / comments / other FWP vents?

I think you might be jumping the gun a little. Depending on where you live and how your living room faces, you may not be able to pick up very many channels. We've had an antenna for the 5 years we have lived together, the first two that we lived in our apartment, we only got 8-10 channels depending on the weather, and at our new house we get 16-20 channels, depending on the weather. The difference is that we are on the lake now and we get American channels. YAY!

FI watch TV together, we watch TV apart. We still communicate very well. We even stop watching TV to talk about stuff.

ETA: Clarity

Bubblegum5586 · June 2015

We love TV! We watch so many shows together and look forward each night to watching a new episode or binge watching a new series.

novella1186 · June 2015

FeeleyToBe said:

Maggie0829 said:

FeeleyToBe said:

abcdevonn said:

We don't have cable, but we have HBO, Netflix, and Amazon Prime. I think that makes us actually consider what we put on the TV a bit more rather than just "flipping it on," but we also never had a problem with not talking when we had cable.

I am kinda skeptical about the idea that having a TV or cable or any of that actually gets in the way of communication with a partner. Maybe that is just because I've never experienced it, but...we've never had issues talking just because we have a TV.

Maybe I'm having a hard time w/ it because my ex b/f used to want to do nothing but watch TV and on top of it wouldn't really even talk with me about it. We used to watch Hells Kitchen together and I'd try to get him to talk about his favorite chef or whether or not he'd eat some of the foods they were cooking and he'd just kind of grunt at me.

So because your ex was non-communicative (he is an ex for a reason) you don't want tv in your house because you fear your H will do the same thing? Sounds like this is a personal matter that you need to resolve within yourself.

I guess my point was badly made. @abcdevonn said she was skeptical b/c she hadn't experienced it. I was jumping to the other end of the spectrum b/c I HAVE experienced it; I just worried I'd be in the same boat w/ my fiance possibly if TV came into the house. Obviously I jumped to a bad conclusion in the moments after hearing his desire for the TV antenna.

I get your hesitation, and I get not wanting to change the good routine you already have, but I don't think you should get too worried about it. Talk to your FI about it and see what he thinks, and maybe give it a chance. Just because it was a bad thing in the past with some other guy does not mean it will be a bad thing this time around.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

FeeleyToBe said:

I don't hate TV; we enjoy snuggling on the couch during movies and we watch TV series and then talk about favorite characters and such. So I'm not saying TV is horrible.

I just know it could turn into a crutch for not doing things / talking because it's so easy to just flip on (been there, done that with an ex).

I did say something once I recognized it was bothering me. At first I just told him, hey, if you can afford it (I cant!) and you want it, fine. But it didn't feel completely "fine" so I told him I was worried we'd just fall back on TV too much and he suggested limiting the usage to certain days or certain shows.

I can live with that!

FWP solved!

Playing Solitaire on the computer could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Playing online games could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Online porn could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Working on cars could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Building models could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Sewing and crafting could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Obsessively going to the gym could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Gardening

If you are using things as an excuse not to communicate with/spend time with your SO, then the "thing" is not the underlying issue.

FeeleyToBe said:

abcdevonn said:

We don't have cable, but we have HBO, Netflix, and Amazon Prime. I think that makes us actually consider what we put on the TV a bit more rather than just "flipping it on," but we also never had a problem with not talking when we had cable.

I am kinda skeptical about the idea that having a TV or cable or any of that actually gets in the way of communication with a partner. Maybe that is just because I've never experienced it, but...we've never had issues talking just because we have a TV.

Maybe I'm having a hard time w/ it because my ex b/f used to want to do nothing but watch TV and on top of it wouldn't really even talk with me about it. We used to watch Hells Kitchen together and I'd try to get him to talk about his favorite chef or whether or not he'd eat some of the foods they were cooking and he'd just kind of grunt at me.

Some people don't like to talk period, and certainly don't like to talk during a TV show or movie.

How much talking do you expect in your relationship?

I've been with my DH for 13 years and we do not constantly talk to each other. We can go hours without having a meaningful conversation, maybe just some playful banter back and forth, and that's just fine.

I don't want to talk about everything all the time. I'm happy to work on my hobbies, or watch TV, or play WoW while DH does his own thing. . . and so is he.

mikenberger · June 2015

Y'all are crazy. It's clear that TV is the root of all divorces. When did the divorce rate start to go up? When color TVs became prevalent in every household. Down with the TVs!

Now internet, cell phones, tablets, books, card games, board games, cleaning the house and other forms of entertainment... clearly not the issue and would never result in a marriage in which poor communication is a culprit.

VulgarGirl · June 2015

I mean, my ex-girlfriend who hit me ate mint chocolate chip ice cream. Wifey eats mint chocolate chip ice cream. Pretty sure she's not gonna hit me. Also pretty sure everyone who eat mint chocolate chip ice cream is not an abuser.

Maggie0829 · June 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

FeeleyToBe said:

I don't hate TV; we enjoy snuggling on the couch during movies and we watch TV series and then talk about favorite characters and such. So I'm not saying TV is horrible.

I just know it could turn into a crutch for not doing things / talking because it's so easy to just flip on (been there, done that with an ex).

I did say something once I recognized it was bothering me. At first I just told him, hey, if you can afford it (I cant!) and you want it, fine. But it didn't feel completely "fine" so I told him I was worried we'd just fall back on TV too much and he suggested limiting the usage to certain days or certain shows.

I can live with that!

FWP solved!

Playing Solitaire on the computer could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Playing online games could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Online porn could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Working on cars could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Building models could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Sewing and crafting could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Obsessively going to the gym could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Gardening

If you are using things as an excuse not to communicate with/spend time with your SO, then the "thing" is not the underlying issue.

FeeleyToBe said:

abcdevonn said:

We don't have cable, but we have HBO, Netflix, and Amazon Prime. I think that makes us actually consider what we put on the TV a bit more rather than just "flipping it on," but we also never had a problem with not talking when we had cable.

I am kinda skeptical about the idea that having a TV or cable or any of that actually gets in the way of communication with a partner. Maybe that is just because I've never experienced it, but...we've never had issues talking just because we have a TV.

Maybe I'm having a hard time w/ it because my ex b/f used to want to do nothing but watch TV and on top of it wouldn't really even talk with me about it. We used to watch Hells Kitchen together and I'd try to get him to talk about his favorite chef or whether or not he'd eat some of the foods they were cooking and he'd just kind of grunt at me.

Some people don't like to talk period, and certainly don't like to talk during a TV show or movie.

How much talking do you expect in your relationship?

I've been with my DH for 13 years and we do not constantly talk to each other. We can go hours without having a meaningful conversation, maybe just some playful banter back and forth, and that's just fine.

I don't want to talk about everything all the time. I'm happy to work on my hobbies, or watch TV, or play WoW while DH does his own thing. . . and so is he.

Same here. There are days that the most I say to H is "I love you" before he leaves for work and "hi" when he gets home. That's it. I mean I have been with this dude for 13 years and plan on being with him until I die (I am only 30) so we have a TON of time to talk. Sometimes talking is just exhausting and sometimes you just have nothing to say to each other. Not talking can be a perfectly normal thing.

Not talking only becomes a problem when you are having issues. So unless you and your SO are constantly having issues, then not talking every now and then and instead watching TV or doing something else solo, is not a big deal.

emmaaa · June 2015

DH and I have satellite TV and watch it basically every night. We both enjoy watching TV together. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we don't. Some days DH gets home and doesn't feel like talking, so we don't. The TV does not change that.

It sounds like you're afraid that what happened with your ex will happen with you H and that is not fair to your H. Your H is not your ex. They are different people. I can understand being hesitant but I think it is important to remember they are different people with different problems.

thisismynickname2 · June 2015

I happen to know my family is from where Feely lives and there's nothing remarkable that can be picked up on antenna. LOL. Unless your SO is a fan of Dancing With the Stars like my mom is, I doubt you'll have a problem; no one's turning into lumps!

DH and I love watching Rick Steve's Europe and other PBS documentary-type stuff together; at least you can get that on antenna!

[Deleted User] · June 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

FeeleyToBe said:

I don't hate TV; we enjoy snuggling on the couch during movies and we watch TV series and then talk about favorite characters and such. So I'm not saying TV is horrible.

I just know it could turn into a crutch for not doing things / talking because it's so easy to just flip on (been there, done that with an ex).

I did say something once I recognized it was bothering me. At first I just told him, hey, if you can afford it (I cant!) and you want it, fine. But it didn't feel completely "fine" so I told him I was worried we'd just fall back on TV too much and he suggested limiting the usage to certain days or certain shows.

I can live with that!

FWP solved!

Playing Solitaire on the computer could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Playing online games could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Online porn could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Working on cars could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Building models could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Sewing and crafting could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Obsessively going to the gym could be used as an excuse not to talk to/do things with each other. Gardening

If you are using things as an excuse not to communicate with/spend time with your SO, then the "thing" is not the underlying issue.

FeeleyToBe said:

abcdevonn said:

We don't have cable, but we have HBO, Netflix, and Amazon Prime. I think that makes us actually consider what we put on the TV a bit more rather than just "flipping it on," but we also never had a problem with not talking when we had cable.

I am kinda skeptical about the idea that having a TV or cable or any of that actually gets in the way of communication with a partner. Maybe that is just because I've never experienced it, but...we've never had issues talking just because we have a TV.

Maybe I'm having a hard time w/ it because my ex b/f used to want to do nothing but watch TV and on top of it wouldn't really even talk with me about it. We used to watch Hells Kitchen together and I'd try to get him to talk about his favorite chef or whether or not he'd eat some of the foods they were cooking and he'd just kind of grunt at me.

Some people don't like to talk period, and certainly don't like to talk during a TV show or movie.

How much talking do you expect in your relationship?

I've been with my DH for 13 years and we do not constantly talk to each other. We can go hours without having a meaningful conversation, maybe just some playful banter back and forth, and that's just fine.

I don't want to talk about everything all the time. I'm happy to work on my hobbies, or watch TV, or play WoW while DH does his own thing. . . and so is he.

We are not home together that often. He works in a retail setting and we see each other for about 2 hours each night and we might get 1-2 weekend days in a month where he doesn't have to work. One of those hours each day that we're home together is typically spent on dinner and during that time he's not usually up for talking b/c he's decompressing from work; which I get as I'm the same way- we're both introverts who work in "extroverted" fields. I want to respect that need, especially since I do the same when I get home, but he's not usually there when I arrive b/c of his work schedule.

So I don't need (or want) to talk every second of the day. But as other commenters said, TV is good for just... zoning out sometimes (agreed); I just didn't want that to become such and easy escape that we turned our brains off and stopped talking to one another- especially since we don't get a lot of time together. @Mikenberger pointed out that ANYTHING hast the potential to get in the way of communication (agreed); my specific "rant" is about TV because TV is the topic of concern for me; not the internet, porn, video games, or even the reading we do "together" (we talk about our books even when reading different things, which is often). That said, I agree that one could replace "TV" with any of those things- they can all be time sucks and have potential to get in the way of good communication.

We've talked about it more and have agreed to make a conscious choice to limit how much TV comes into the house.

And like @TrixieJess said; the damn antenna may not even work that well for us.

ChemFanatic25 · June 2015

I love watching TV with my boyfriend. We cuddle on the couch and watch our favorite shows together or he'll introduce me to a new show I've never seen (which is a lot) but he enjoys. We also both love Scrubs and I got to introduce him to Parks & Rec. Neither of us has cable - just Netflix and the internet.

I like having some kind of TV because when I get home from work I'm so exhausted I normally don't want to move (with the exception of walking my dog) and so I'll sit down an watch a show to unwind. I don't think it makes me less communicative or anything. I still do a ton with my boyfriend outside of the relaxing on the couch moments.

CMGragain · June 2015

We don't spend money going out a lot. Maybe an occasional restaurant. TV IS our entertainment. DH is addicted to news shows (damn, CNN!) and science documentaries. His guilty pleasure is "reality" shows, which I hate. I love PBS drama, history documentaries, and vintage and classic movies. My guilty pleasure is "Big Bang Theory", because it reminds me of my son. Neither of us watches much network TV. (Nerd family.)
So we spend $100 a month on the cable bill. It is worth it for us, and we can easily afford it. We have many discussions about the programs we watch. I have learned a lot about science and current events from his shows, and he knows classic movies from mine. It brings us closer.
I see nothing virtuous about not having TV during your first year of marriage. My first four years of childhood were without it. I don't think that made any difference in my development. Yes, I remember the very first Captain Kangaroo program.

beachyone15 · June 2015

FeeleyToBe said:

We are not home together that often. He works in a retail setting and we see each other for about 2 hours each night and we might get 1-2 weekend days in a month where he doesn't have to work. One of those hours each day that we're home together is typically spent on dinner and during that time he's not usually up for talking b/c he's decompressing from work; which I get as I'm the same way- we're both introverts who work in "extroverted" fields. I want to respect that need, especially since I do the same when I get home, but he's not usually there when I arrive b/c of his work schedule.

So I don't need (or want) to talk every second of the day. But as other commenters said, TV is good for just... zoning out sometimes (agreed); I just didn't want that to become such and easy escape that we turned our brains off and stopped talking to one another- especially since we don't get a lot of time together. @Mikenberger pointed out that ANYTHING hast the potential to get in the way of communication (agreed); my specific "rant" is about TV because TV is the topic of concern for me; not the internet, porn, video games, or even the reading we do "together" (we talk about our books even when reading different things, which is often). That said, I agree that one could replace "TV" with any of those things- they can all be time sucks and have potential to get in the way of good communication.

We've talked about it more and have agreed to make a conscious choice to limit how much TV comes into the house.

And like @TrixieJess said; the damn antenna may not even work that well for us.

It doesn't so much sound like a tv problem, as much as you not seeing each other as much as you'd like. It sounds like you are wanting the small amount of time you have together to be meaningful and keep you feeling close to each other (which is understandable).
Could you guys go for a walk or find a new hobby to do together, even just for 30 min a day? Another thing I've noticed that my parents do which I really like the idea of is sit down with a glass of wine for a few minutes and chit-chat before making dinner.
You certainly don't want to force him to talk if he needs to decompress from the day, but I think I understand what you are saying and it sounds like you just want more quality time together. Maybe you should talk to him about that and see if he feels the same way. He may not even realize how much it's bothering you.

TV Grumble - FWP Vent

Re: TV Grumble - FWP Vent

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