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To Feed or Not to Feed...

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Re: To Feed or Not to Feed...

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    TheCheeseWenchTheCheeseWench member
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    Our vendors are all receiving the same invitation (in the mail, to their home address) that is going to the rest of our guests. They will be welcome to all of the things that the other guests are offered. In the end, they are a huge part (to me) of this event and their comfort and enjoyment will only make it better. Yes, they will be paid for the services they provide, but they are still also valuable participants at our celebration so I wouldn't feel right not treating them the same.
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    TheCheeseWenchTheCheeseWench member
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    Oh, and EVERY "single" guest is welcome to bring a +1. How the heck am I to know if one of my friends has recently begun dating someone that could prove to be quite important to them, or may be uncomfortable attending my out of town wedding by themselves? I am choosing to invite these people here to celebrate with me, and thanking them by providing the celebration afterwards. I want them to be comfortable and have an enjoyable time. I know personally that I would have a much better time if I had someone there to enjoy it with. Btw, my SO and Vendor friendly budget is less than half of yours.
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    bb2016bb2016 member
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    MGP said:
    banana468 said:
    Knottie1429560125 said:
    I would just like to thank everyone that answered my question seriously and maturely. That's what forums are all about, reaching out to others to get a consensus on the topic of question. I see that some of the things i wrote were taken out of context or interpreted poorly, could of been the way i worded things.

    I am NOT splitting up any couples by not inviting their SOs. I am just not allowing my SINGLE family and friends to bring a plus one. Which is actually a money saving tip that I got straight from theknot.com wedding planner binder I bought. So again to clarify, single family and friends will not be inviting a plus one, this way I'm saving money in the budget and I am not having random people I don't know at our wedding.

    My vendors ARE eating! Its a buffet style dinner, so after the last table of my guests gets to go up and get their food then the vendors go up and can get theirs. They will be eating at the same time as everyone else but they are going up to the buffet last. Doing it that way costs us nothing and they wont have to be included in our guest count, we don't have to cut anyone.

    I already listed all the cuts I made in the last post that we are not having for our wedding, not going to repeat the whole list. As for invitations and save the dates (since it was brought up a few times), I am a graphic designer, I'm designing them myself. The cost is extremely minimal for me since it was my profession for 11 years. I also have a professional connection that gave me a great deal on the printing since I worked for them.

    I hope this clears up any misunderstandings from my postings. I am sure people will still find something negative to say no matter how many times I try to clarify. For those people, its not your wedding and your not invited to mine, so no worries.

    I truly do appreciate all the helpful answers and suggestions. I hope that everyone has a great wedding day and for the already married couples out there that responded, I wish you many years of happiness. Thank you everyone!
    OK.   This is what you said in your other post:

    I am not doing "plus one" for everyone. Only people who are in a relationship where I know their significant other or of course if they are married. I don't want a bunch of random strangers being brought/invited to our special day esp since we are very budget conscious. Those are the breaks.

    The above is a direct copy and paste from your post yesterday.  You said that you were only inviting SOs if you knew them.   Are you truly inviting all guests who have a significant other to bring that person?   It doesn't matter if you met the person or not.   You need to invite anyone in a relationship to bring their other half. 
    Going to clarify Significant Other (SO) vs. +1 for lurkers and anyone else who needs to know:

    1.  SO - a person that your guest identifies as their boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, partner, or any other title that establishes them in a relationship.  With the very rare exception of safety concerns or threats of abuse or physical violence - SO's MUST be invited.  They are a package deal.  If a guest enters a relationship after you made your guest list but before invitations go out, they still must be invited.  If a guest enters a relationship after invitations go out, it is not necessary but a very nice gesture to invite the SO.

    THINGS THAT DO NOT MATTER - whether or not you have met them, whether or not you like them, how long they have been together, whether or not they live together, whether or not they are engaged, or how serious YOU think the relationship is.  It is not your place to judge other people's relationships.

    2.  +1 - an option for a truly single guest to bring a date, escort, companion, caregiver, wingman/woman, etc. to your wedding.  Offering +1's is not required but a very nice, kind idea if your budget and space allow.

    THINGS THAT DO NOT MATTER - who they decide to bring.  You cannot veto their choice.  If you have doubts on the person's selection of a +1, just don't offer it to them.

    OP if you are not following this please take a long, hard look at your guest list and do the right thing.  I am saying that as respectfully as I can.  You have the potential to seriously damage relationships.
    To the bolded, this is also why when making your guest list it is a good idea to include a plus one for all truly single guests in your count so that you have space and $$$ for anyone that enters a relationship before invites go out. 

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    Denise40Denise40 member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    My venue has 2 different packages, one for up to 75 guests and one for up to 125 guests.  I went with a different catering because I didn't want BBQ.  My package is for 75 guests.  When I met with my caterer, I got a price for 75 people. Now, I can go over the catering count, this has nothing to do with the venue.  I asked about the vendors eating and they told me it's the same price as the guests.  I'm ok with that, as long as the food is the same.

    I may be over the "75" guest count, so I asked my venue and she stated for the package of 75, the vendors do not go towards that count so I'm happy with that.


    When I talked to each of my vendors about feeding them and if they had any allergies or restrictions or special diets, they were so thankful for me inquiring about this.  I took it that some of them must not have been hosted well.  Even if I go over my original quote for catering of 75, I'm ok with that.  I want everyone fed well so that they can do their job.

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    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2015
    TheCheeseWench said:

    Our vendors are all receiving the same invitation (in the mail, to their home address) that is going to the rest of our guests. They will be welcome to all of the things that the other guests are offered. In the end, they are a huge part (to me) of this event and their comfort and enjoyment will only make it better. Yes, they will be paid for the services they provide, but they are still also valuable participants at our celebration so I wouldn't feel right not treating them the same.



    I find that really odd. Why? They know when it is, because they have a contract. And they set their price- they are business people negotiating what they need. They shouldn't be treated as guests because they aren't- this is their job! Like, are you ok with your florist accepting your invite, bringing his or her partner, getting a table assignment with your regular guests and going to town at the bar? If so awesome but I don't actually think you're doing anything to be congratulating yourself about. In fact, some of them might rather you not be blurring those lines and contacting them at home.
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    TheCheeseWenchTheCheeseWench member
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    STARMOON44 said:
    Our vendors are all receiving the same invitation (in the mail, to their home address) that is going to the rest of our guests. They will be welcome to all of the things that the other guests are offered. In the end, they are a huge part (to me) of this event and their comfort and enjoyment will only make it better. Yes, they will be paid for the services they provide, but they are still also valuable participants at our celebration so I wouldn't feel right not treating them the same.
    I find that really odd. Why? They know when it is, because they have a contract. And they set their price- they are business people negotiating what they need. They shouldn't be treated as guests because they aren't- this is their job! Like, are you ok with your florist accepting your invite, bringing his or her partner, getting a table assignment with your regular guests and going to town at the bar? If so awesome but I don't actually think you're doing anything to be congratulating yourself about. In fact, some of them might rather you not be blurring those lines and contacting them at home.
    I am not using a florist, since my Mother is doing the flowers. It is something she has tons of experience with and really wanted to do it. The musicians will be invited (they gave me their home addy with the contract, it is a husband/wife duo) and if they want to enjoy some wine or beer with their dinner or during breaks then I'm fine with that. The venue only offers craft beer and wine so I'm not terribly worried about anyone getting trashed during that time. My photographer is someone I work with on a regular basis. Since my event is OOT for him, I want him to have the option of bringing someone down to enjoy the weekend with him after the wedding. He knows that his date would have to spend much of the time at the reception mingling with others since he'll be working, but at least whoever it might be wouldn't have to sit alone in a hotel room. My officiant is a dear friend who would have been a bridesmaid had she not asked if she could marry us. Even if it was someone else, they would have been welcome to bring a date and enjoy the reception. If any of them choose not to enjoy the food and drinks offered to them, that is fine. It's not anything to "congratulate myself about" but I do think it is just good hospitality. Not feeding the vendors who will be in attendance at the reception (or feeding them something crappy while everyone else eats something nice) is rude.


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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    Maggie0829 said:
    TheCheeseWench said:

    STARMOON44 said:
    Our vendors are all receiving the same invitation (in the mail, to their home address) that is going to the rest of our guests. They will be welcome to all of the things that the other guests are offered. In the end, they are a huge part (to me) of this event and their comfort and enjoyment will only make it better. Yes, they will be paid for the services they provide, but they are still also valuable participants at our celebration so I wouldn't feel right not treating them the same.
    I find that really odd. Why? They know when it is, because they have a contract. And they set their price- they are business people negotiating what they need. They shouldn't be treated as guests because they aren't- this is their job! Like, are you ok with your florist accepting your invite, bringing his or her partner, getting a table assignment with your regular guests and going to town at the bar? If so awesome but I don't actually think you're doing anything to be congratulating yourself about. In fact, some of them might rather you not be blurring those lines and contacting them at home.
    I am not using a florist, since my Mother is doing the flowers. It is something she has tons of experience with and really wanted to do it. The musicians will be invited (they gave me their home addy with the contract, it is a husband/wife duo) and if they want to enjoy some wine or beer with their dinner or during breaks then I'm fine with that. The venue only offers craft beer and wine so I'm not terribly worried about anyone getting trashed during that time. My photographer is someone I work with on a regular basis. Since my event is OOT for him, I want him to have the option of bringing someone down to enjoy the weekend with him after the wedding. He knows that his date would have to spend much of the time at the reception mingling with others since he'll be working, but at least whoever it might be wouldn't have to sit alone in a hotel room. My officiant is a dear friend who would have been a bridesmaid had she not asked if she could marry us. Even if it was someone else, they would have been welcome to bring a date and enjoy the reception. If any of them choose not to enjoy the food and drinks offered to them, that is fine. It's not anything to "congratulate myself about" but I do think it is just good hospitality. Not feeding the vendors who will be in attendance at the reception (or feeding them something crappy while everyone else eats something nice) is rude.


    I could easily get trashed off of just beer and wine.  Especially wine.  Three glasses and I am feeling pretty damn good.  So yeah, people, even your vendors, can easily get trashed off of just beer and wine.
    Me TOO!!!

    I only drink beer and wine.  I never drink liquor.  I get the best buzz off of wines.   The drunkest I've ever been is from wine.

    I have no idea why people think beer and wine keeps people from getting drunk?  That is just a myth.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    lyndausvi said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    TheCheeseWench said:

    STARMOON44 said:
    Our vendors are all receiving the same invitation (in the mail, to their home address) that is going to the rest of our guests. They will be welcome to all of the things that the other guests are offered. In the end, they are a huge part (to me) of this event and their comfort and enjoyment will only make it better. Yes, they will be paid for the services they provide, but they are still also valuable participants at our celebration so I wouldn't feel right not treating them the same.
    I find that really odd. Why? They know when it is, because they have a contract. And they set their price- they are business people negotiating what they need. They shouldn't be treated as guests because they aren't- this is their job! Like, are you ok with your florist accepting your invite, bringing his or her partner, getting a table assignment with your regular guests and going to town at the bar? If so awesome but I don't actually think you're doing anything to be congratulating yourself about. In fact, some of them might rather you not be blurring those lines and contacting them at home.
    I am not using a florist, since my Mother is doing the flowers. It is something she has tons of experience with and really wanted to do it. The musicians will be invited (they gave me their home addy with the contract, it is a husband/wife duo) and if they want to enjoy some wine or beer with their dinner or during breaks then I'm fine with that. The venue only offers craft beer and wine so I'm not terribly worried about anyone getting trashed during that time. My photographer is someone I work with on a regular basis. Since my event is OOT for him, I want him to have the option of bringing someone down to enjoy the weekend with him after the wedding. He knows that his date would have to spend much of the time at the reception mingling with others since he'll be working, but at least whoever it might be wouldn't have to sit alone in a hotel room. My officiant is a dear friend who would have been a bridesmaid had she not asked if she could marry us. Even if it was someone else, they would have been welcome to bring a date and enjoy the reception. If any of them choose not to enjoy the food and drinks offered to them, that is fine. It's not anything to "congratulate myself about" but I do think it is just good hospitality. Not feeding the vendors who will be in attendance at the reception (or feeding them something crappy while everyone else eats something nice) is rude.


    I could easily get trashed off of just beer and wine.  Especially wine.  Three glasses and I am feeling pretty damn good.  So yeah, people, even your vendors, can easily get trashed off of just beer and wine.
    Me TOO!!!

    I only drink beer and wine.  I never drink liquor.  I get the best buzz off of wines.   The drunkest I've ever been is from wine.

    I have no idea why people think beer and wine keeps people from getting drunk?  That is just a myth.
    Same here.  And it happened again pretty recently.  I had three glasses on an empty stomach and then spent an hour of my life on the bathroom floor because I couldn't get up due to the world spinning in all sorts of directions.

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    loveislouderloveislouder member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:
    lyndausvi said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    TheCheeseWench said:

    STARMOON44 said:
    Our vendors are all receiving the same invitation (in the mail, to their home address) that is going to the rest of our guests. They will be welcome to all of the things that the other guests are offered. In the end, they are a huge part (to me) of this event and their comfort and enjoyment will only make it better. Yes, they will be paid for the services they provide, but they are still also valuable participants at our celebration so I wouldn't feel right not treating them the same.
    I find that really odd. Why? They know when it is, because they have a contract. And they set their price- they are business people negotiating what they need. They shouldn't be treated as guests because they aren't- this is their job! Like, are you ok with your florist accepting your invite, bringing his or her partner, getting a table assignment with your regular guests and going to town at the bar? If so awesome but I don't actually think you're doing anything to be congratulating yourself about. In fact, some of them might rather you not be blurring those lines and contacting them at home.
    I am not using a florist, since my Mother is doing the flowers. It is something she has tons of experience with and really wanted to do it. The musicians will be invited (they gave me their home addy with the contract, it is a husband/wife duo) and if they want to enjoy some wine or beer with their dinner or during breaks then I'm fine with that. The venue only offers craft beer and wine so I'm not terribly worried about anyone getting trashed during that time. My photographer is someone I work with on a regular basis. Since my event is OOT for him, I want him to have the option of bringing someone down to enjoy the weekend with him after the wedding. He knows that his date would have to spend much of the time at the reception mingling with others since he'll be working, but at least whoever it might be wouldn't have to sit alone in a hotel room. My officiant is a dear friend who would have been a bridesmaid had she not asked if she could marry us. Even if it was someone else, they would have been welcome to bring a date and enjoy the reception. If any of them choose not to enjoy the food and drinks offered to them, that is fine. It's not anything to "congratulate myself about" but I do think it is just good hospitality. Not feeding the vendors who will be in attendance at the reception (or feeding them something crappy while everyone else eats something nice) is rude.


    I could easily get trashed off of just beer and wine.  Especially wine.  Three glasses and I am feeling pretty damn good.  So yeah, people, even your vendors, can easily get trashed off of just beer and wine.
    Me TOO!!!

    I only drink beer and wine.  I never drink liquor.  I get the best buzz off of wines.   The drunkest I've ever been is from wine.

    I have no idea why people think beer and wine keeps people from getting drunk?  That is just a myth.
    Same here.  And it happened again pretty recently.  I had three glasses on an empty stomach and then spent an hour of my life on the bathroom floor because I couldn't get up due to the world spinning in all sorts of directions.
    ...That sounds kind of fun.
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    TheCheeseWenchTheCheeseWench member
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    loveislouder said:


    TheCheeseWench said:


    STARMOON44 said:

    TheCheeseWench said:

    Our vendors are all receiving the same invitation (in the mail, to their home address) that is going to the rest of our guests. They will be welcome to all of the things that the other guests are offered. In the end, they are a huge part (to me) of this event and their comfort and enjoyment will only make it better. Yes, they will be paid for the services they provide, but they are still also valuable participants at our celebration so I wouldn't feel right not treating them the same.



    I find that really odd. Why? They know when it is, because they have a contract. And they set their price- they are business people negotiating what they need. They shouldn't be treated as guests because they aren't- this is their job! Like, are you ok with your florist accepting your invite, bringing his or her partner, getting a table assignment with your regular guests and going to town at the bar? If so awesome but I don't actually think you're doing anything to be congratulating yourself about. In fact, some of them might rather you not be blurring those lines and contacting them at home.

    I am not using a florist, since my Mother is doing the flowers. It is something she has tons of experience with and really wanted to do it. The musicians will be invited (they gave me their home addy with the contract, it is a husband/wife duo) and if they want to enjoy some wine or beer with their dinner or during breaks then I'm fine with that. The venue only offers craft beer and wine so I'm not terribly worried about anyone getting trashed during that time. My photographer is someone I work with on a regular basis. Since my event is OOT for him, I want him to have the option of bringing someone down to enjoy the weekend with him after the wedding. He knows that his date would have to spend much of the time at the reception mingling with others since he'll be working, but at least whoever it might be wouldn't have to sit alone in a hotel room. My officiant is a dear friend who would have been a bridesmaid had she not asked if she could marry us. Even if it was someone else, they would have been welcome to bring a date and enjoy the reception. If any of them choose not to enjoy the food and drinks offered to them, that is fine. It's not anything to "congratulate myself about" but I do think it is just good hospitality. Not feeding the vendors who will be in attendance at the reception (or feeding them something crappy while everyone else eats something nice) is rude.



    I feel like you missed the point...



    No, I was simply explaining that everyone I was talking about was someone who would be expected to spend the evening at the wedding anyway (therefore needing to be fed) as opposed to someone who simply drops something off and leaves (florist).
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    LD1970LD1970 member
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    I've got you ladies beat... I've lost the tolerance I developed during law school. Two glasses of wine and I've got a good buzz going. Good enough that I wouldn't want to be working at the time, for sure.

    And beer? First time I ever got drunk was off a few Rolling Rocks, and their ABV is pathetic. If I was drinking the good stuff? And I tend to like the high ABV beers... well, let's just say you don't want me working and drinking.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    TheCheeseWench said:
    TheCheeseWench said:

    STARMOON44 said:
    Our vendors are all receiving the same invitation (in the mail, to their home address) that is going to the rest of our guests. They will be welcome to all of the things that the other guests are offered. In the end, they are a huge part (to me) of this event and their comfort and enjoyment will only make it better. Yes, they will be paid for the services they provide, but they are still also valuable participants at our celebration so I wouldn't feel right not treating them the same.
    I find that really odd. Why? They know when it is, because they have a contract. And they set their price- they are business people negotiating what they need. They shouldn't be treated as guests because they aren't- this is their job! Like, are you ok with your florist accepting your invite, bringing his or her partner, getting a table assignment with your regular guests and going to town at the bar? If so awesome but I don't actually think you're doing anything to be congratulating yourself about. In fact, some of them might rather you not be blurring those lines and contacting them at home.
    I am not using a florist, since my Mother is doing the flowers. It is something she has tons of experience with and really wanted to do it. The musicians will be invited (they gave me their home addy with the contract, it is a husband/wife duo) and if they want to enjoy some wine or beer with their dinner or during breaks then I'm fine with that. The venue only offers craft beer and wine so I'm not terribly worried about anyone getting trashed during that time. My photographer is someone I work with on a regular basis. Since my event is OOT for him, I want him to have the option of bringing someone down to enjoy the weekend with him after the wedding. He knows that his date would have to spend much of the time at the reception mingling with others since he'll be working, but at least whoever it might be wouldn't have to sit alone in a hotel room. My officiant is a dear friend who would have been a bridesmaid had she not asked if she could marry us. Even if it was someone else, they would have been welcome to bring a date and enjoy the reception. If any of them choose not to enjoy the food and drinks offered to them, that is fine. It's not anything to "congratulate myself about" but I do think it is just good hospitality. Not feeding the vendors who will be in attendance at the reception (or feeding them something crappy while everyone else eats something nice) is rude.


    I feel like you missed the point...
    No, I was simply explaining that everyone I was talking about was someone who would be expected to spend the evening at the wedding anyway (therefore needing to be fed) as opposed to someone who simply drops something off and leaves (florist).
    You are still missing the point. . . the point that your vendors are vendors- they are contracted to perform a service and paid for that service, they aren't guests.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    snowywintersnowywinter member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    AddieCake said:
    I agree if vendors go last it's maybe not a big deal (except possibly like PhotoKitty was saying about when they need to work) because SOMEONE has to be last in line, right? But the attitude seems so skeevy to me. She even used the word leftovers, which rubbed me the wrong way. She doesn't want to have to feed them, as we know, so the way she described it just seems very off-putting.
    I think it's still a big deal because she is paying for food for only 100 people. Why on earth would the caterer make food for 104? It's buffet, which means there's no guarantee that things won't be gone before number 100 gets to the buffet, so what's going to happen if number 102 gets there and there's nothing left but scraps? IMO, doing it this way is a lot worse than just giving the caterer a sandwich.
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    MGPMGP member
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    edited August 2015
    snowywinter said:
    AddieCake said:
    I agree if vendors go last it's maybe not a big deal (except possibly like PhotoKitty was saying about when they need to work) because SOMEONE has to be last in line, right? But the attitude seems so skeevy to me. She even used the word leftovers, which rubbed me the wrong way. She doesn't want to have to feed them, as we know, so the way she described it just seems very off-putting.
    I think it's still a big deal because she is paying for food for only 100 people. Why on earth would the caterer make food for 104? It's buffet, which means there's no guarantee that things won't be gone before number 100 gets to the buffet, so what's going to happen if number 102 gets there and there's nothing left but scraps? IMO, doing it this way is a lot worse than just giving the caterer a sandwich.
    We are all pretty much saying the same thing.  That the caterer making food for 104 and having the vendors go last is acceptable.  What the "big deal" is (that all of us except the OP agree on) is that it's unacceptable to pay for 100 people when you will have 104 people go through the buffet, essentially leaving the vendors with the leftovers.  Granted most caterers make more than enough food, but to me it's extremely rude and not worth taking the chance that there will hopefully be enough food for the vendors to eat.  It's a cheap tactic and I don't react nicely to cheapness, especially when the OP says her dress budget is $1000.  I am sure there would be NO WAY this special snowflake would cut her dress budget in order to feed her vendors because it's HER DAY. . . 

    The OP seems to have left the conversation, but by her posts it's pretty apparent this wedding sounds like a train wreck anyways between not wanting to pay for vendor's meals, not inviting SO's, and scoffing at her "tiny" $20K budget.
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    sarahuflsarahufl member
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    lol at $20k being a "tiny" budget. Where do you live/what do you do that $20k is an insignificant amount of money?!

    Also, to the not getting drunk off beer and wine- I NEVER understood that. I think the drunkest I have ever been is from wine.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    It is just proper to feed them...
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    FosmohFosmoh member
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    Maggie0829 said:

    I could easily get trashed off of just beer and wine.  Especially wine.  Three glasses and I am feeling pretty damn good.  So yeah, people, even your vendors, can easily get trashed off of just beer and wine.


    Vouching for this. 
    I absolutely got drunk off of two and a half glasses of wine just this past Saturday. 
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    FosmohFosmoh member
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    TheCheeseWench said:


    I feel like you missed the point...
    No, I was simply explaining that everyone I was talking about was someone who would be expected to spend the evening at the wedding anyway (therefore needing to be fed) as opposed to someone who simply drops something off and leaves (florist).


    For the lurkers PLEASE think VERY carefully about this... i have sooo many things go badly from people enlisting the "help" of family and friends.  i personally don't like the idea of my loved ones having to work my wedding.  i think it's best to just have them be guests.

    if you're going to be paying for a vender then pay for a proper vender.
    if you have a loved one who does it professionally and THEY offered then you can decide whether or not to take them up on it.  i know many people who were asked and felt obligated to do it for a wedding and really wished they hadn't been pressured into it.  

    obviously NOT the case for everyone, just make sure you think it through and decide whether or not it's the best decision for you and your loved ones. 
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    FosmohFosmoh member
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    TheCheeseWench said:

    No, I was simply explaining that everyone I was talking about was someone who would be expected to spend the evening at the wedding anyway (therefore needing to be fed) as opposed to someone who simply drops something off and leaves (florist).


    WHOA.... WAIT A SECOND....

    I just realized what's going on....

    WOW... so you are being so incredibly beyond rude...
    I'm sorry but you gotta be called out on this.....

    - you're making your family and friends WORK your wedding. (yes, you're paying them. realize that)

    - you were SERIOUSLY considering NOT FEEDING THEM??? these aren't *JUST* vendors, these are family and friends that you would have invited anyway but because you're hiring them you didn't want to feed them?? Really???
    you were actually genuinely considering NOT feeding people you apparently care enough about to invite to your wedding regardless of making them WORK your wedding?? 

    - So you figured out how to feed your venders/family&friends... but you're feeding them freaking SCRAP ENDS of the buffet??? please clarify this... you are SERIOUSLY thinking it's okay to make your family WORK your wedding and feed them SCRAPS?????


    i'm sorry.... but what the actual F**k are you thinking?????
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    FosmohFosmoh member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Sorry for being so harsh and blunt. i am just completely blown away that this is even being considered...

    I just can't wrap my mind around ever being that disrespectful to someone i care about.

    If someone tried to pull this on me, it would be a deal breaker.
    i'd end the relationship/friendship if someone were to take advantage and humiliate me like that.
    nope, wouldn't happen. 
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    @Fosmoh You are way off.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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    NYTino24NYTino24 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    My venue charges 50% for vendor meals. However, I was told by another venue that they would do the same or (depending on which vendor) you can just have them eat during cocktail hour for free. They basically suggested only the photogs would need to be fed since they'd be with us from 1pm to 11pm. The DJs are showing up at 7, so they can eat before they come.
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    thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2015
    Knottie88090707 said:
    My venue charges 50% for vendor meals. However, I was told by another venue that they would do the same or (depending on which vendor) you can just have them eat during cocktail hour for free. They basically suggested only the photogs would need to be fed since they'd be with us from 1pm to 11pm. The DJs are showing up at 7, so they can eat before they come.
    It doesn't matter what your venue suggested about your other vendors. Read your DJ contract and see what it says about feeding them. 
    ________________________________


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    Knottie1438010351Knottie1438010351 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Our hall and every hall we looked at had a reduced price for the vendors. Less than half the price of the guest meals.  In order to avoid the headcount issue,  perhaps there is a nice restaurant in the area that delivers and could provide meals for your vendors.  You could even ask them ahead of time what they would like from that menu. It would probably taste better than actual wedding food.  I often bring my lunch to work, but we a refrigerator to store things in and a microwave to heat things in. Your vendors do not have that luxury.  If you do choose not to feed them, you should let them know in advance so they can either pack a meal or  scout the area ahead of time so they know where they want to go to eat. By the time they leave, order food and return, they pretty much need an hour.  At a guess though they would not want to leave thousands of dollars of equipment behind unattended.
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