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Etiquette

Scrapping the Reception

2

Re: Scrapping the Reception

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    I find it entertaining that OP is being nice and accommodating to the restaurant but not her guests.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    MGP
  • CMGragain said:
    Hey OP, you may want to specify on your invitations that it is a cake and punch reception, that way everyone knows what to expect and people can plan appropriately.
    If the wedding is at 2:00 PM, people would expect a cake and punch reception.
    Not necessarily. While cake and punch or light refreshments is all that is necessary for a wedding at that time of day, enough people get married at 2:00 and do other things that it isn't the expectation anymore. 

    Think about it. 2:00 is probably the most common catholic wedding time. The overwhelming majority of those weddings are not cake and punch.  
    Oh, dear!  Are we talking about the infamous and rude "Catholic gap"?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    CMGragain said:
    CMGragain said:
    Hey OP, you may want to specify on your invitations that it is a cake and punch reception, that way everyone knows what to expect and people can plan appropriately.
    If the wedding is at 2:00 PM, people would expect a cake and punch reception.
    Not necessarily. While cake and punch or light refreshments is all that is necessary for a wedding at that time of day, enough people get married at 2:00 and do other things that it isn't the expectation anymore. 

    Think about it. 2:00 is probably the most common catholic wedding time. The overwhelming majority of those weddings are not cake and punch.  
    Oh, dear!  Are we talking about the infamous and rude "Catholic gap"?

    I get the impression that we're talking about serving more than cake and punch for a 2:00pm reception - more like appetizers or even a full meal together with cake and drinks.
    STARMOON44holyguacamole79Heffalump
  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited November 2015
    I had a 2pm catholic wedding and a full dinner reception without a gap.  

    I also have never been to a "cake and punch" reception, but there's nothing wrong with them.  

    ETA:  Dinner was served at 5:00pm.

    SaveSave
    Heffalump
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    CMGragain said:
    Hey OP, you may want to specify on your invitations that it is a cake and punch reception, that way everyone knows what to expect and people can plan appropriately.
    If the wedding is at 2:00 PM, people would expect a cake and punch reception.
    Not necessarily. While cake and punch or light refreshments is all that is necessary for a wedding at that time of day, enough people get married at 2:00 and do other things that it isn't the expectation anymore. Think about it. 2:00 is probably the most common catholic wedding time. The overwhelming majority of those weddings are not cake and punch.  

    Yep, my family is Catholic. Every single wedding included a full meal and bar, regardless of the time of day. Although afternoon, cake and punch receptions are perfectly polite, I don't know anyone who's had one. I think this is one of those 'know your crowd' things. If I know I'll be attending a cake and punch reception, I'll have lunch or late breakfast before the ceremony.
                       
    lyndausvilc07
  • I've never been to a 2pm wedding that didn't have a full meal afterwards, but that's how my friends and family roll.

    That said, if the wedding doesn't fall during a meal time, and the reception is a "cake and punch" reception, I don't think there is anything wrong with mentioning "cake and punch to follow at..." etc.  Depending on the crowd, not everyone knows that you don't have to serve a meal at a non-meal time, and some might expect a meal during the reception if that is something that they are used to.
    MairePoppyPrettyGirlLostlyndausvi
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited November 2015
    For me the distinction comes in with where the reception is being held. If there is no reception card, and the invite says reception immediately following - then if it's at a church, I assume I'm getting cake and punch. If there is a reception card, with a second location, I'm assuming I'm getting fed, regardless of time. If it's all in one non church location, I'm at a loss and would probably ask.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    MGP
  • I think you ladies may be right about Catholic receptions being traditionally larger than Protestant ones.  In my Protestant family, everyone who had guests at their wedding had a simple cake and punch reception.  It was expected.  The Catholic weddings I have attended have been much more elaborate.  No rules about this - just family customs.

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    CMGragain said:

    I think you ladies may be right about Catholic receptions being traditionally larger than Protestant ones.  In my Protestant family, everyone who had guests at their wedding had a simple cake and punch reception.  It was expected.  The Catholic weddings I have attended have been much more elaborate.  No rules about this - just family customs.

    I think that regardless of religion, etiquette doesn't prohibit serving more than cake or punch at 2pm; that's the minimum that can be served at that time of day. At a mealtime the minimum would of course be a full meal.
    CMGragainSTARMOON44SP29MGP
  • Just wanted to chime in and add that I don't think it's necessary to say "cake and punch" following if your wedding is at 2pm. While I get that some people have dinner and dancing following an early afternoon wedding, I still think a 2pm wedding with "reception to follow" implies you ain't getting a full meal unless otherwise noted. But like @CMGragain I've been to a LOT of Protestant cake and punch receptions. 
    CMGragainShesSoCold
  • From OP's wedding website: 

    On the "Welcome" page: "No open bar, don't kid yourselves."

    The page also includes a menu tab "Fundraising" where she links to a future GoFundMe page.  

    Yikes.

  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited November 2015
    Jen4948 said:
    I think you ladies may be right about Catholic receptions being traditionally larger than Protestant ones.  In my Protestant family, everyone who had guests at their wedding had a simple cake and punch reception.  It was expected.  The Catholic weddings I have attended have been much more elaborate.  No rules about this - just family customs.

    I think that regardless of religion, etiquette doesn't prohibit serving more than cake or punch at 2pm; that's the minimum that can be served at that time of day. At a mealtime the minimum would of course be a full meal.
    This.

    However, based on the varied responses in this thread, I think it would be very helpful to guests if couples indicated if they were having a cake and punch reception.  Many people here would likely expect a full meal after a 2pm wedding, based on their own experiences, and they might be hungry if they didn't know it was only a cake and punch reception and didn't plan accordingly.

    Wegl13 said:
    Just wanted to chime in and add that I don't think it's necessary to say "cake and punch" following if your wedding is at 2pm. While I get that some people have dinner and dancing following an early afternoon wedding, I still think a 2pm wedding with "reception to follow" implies you ain't getting a full meal unless otherwise noted. But like @CMGragain I've been to a LOT of Protestant cake and punch receptions. 

    But based on the responses in this thread, that's not necessarily the case. 

    Plus, you typically don't note anything other than "Reception to follow" even when you are having a full meal.  Ok, maybe an RSVP card is included with meal options, but in the past 3 years I've been to about 5 weddings and they were all buffet or food station receptions, so no meal options.

    Early weddings are not common in my circle at all, I've never been to one out of the 30+ weddings I've attended.  So if I now received an invitation to a 2pm wedding, I wouldn't really know whether it was going to be a cake and punch reception or a full meal. 

    Based on this thread, I'd assume I was going to get a full meal if the wedding was a Catholic one, and cake and punch if the wedding was Protestant :-P

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Jen4948 said:
    I think you ladies may be right about Catholic receptions being traditionally larger than Protestant ones.  In my Protestant family, everyone who had guests at their wedding had a simple cake and punch reception.  It was expected.  The Catholic weddings I have attended have been much more elaborate.  No rules about this - just family customs.

    I think that regardless of religion, etiquette doesn't prohibit serving more than cake or punch at 2pm; that's the minimum that can be served at that time of day. At a mealtime the minimum would of course be a full meal.
    This.

    However, based on the varied responses in this thread, I think it would be very helpful to guests if couples indicated if they were having a cake and punch reception.  Many people here would likely expect a full meal after a 2pm wedding, based on their own experiences, and they might be hungry if they didn't know it was only a cake and punch reception and didn't plan accordingly.
    I think is very much a know your crowd thing.    I've never attended a cake and punch reception.   I know they exist, just not in my social circle.  So a "heads up" so-to-speak would be appreciated in my social circle.  

    When I see a 2pm wedding I eat a heavier breakfast around 10-11 or a light snack at noon knowing that I will be eating an early dinner.  If I found out it was a cake and punch reception I would eat a normal sized lunch.

    Now I can see where CMG would assume cake and punch based on her own experiences.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Jen4948 said:
    I think you ladies may be right about Catholic receptions being traditionally larger than Protestant ones.  In my Protestant family, everyone who had guests at their wedding had a simple cake and punch reception.  It was expected.  The Catholic weddings I have attended have been much more elaborate.  No rules about this - just family customs.

    I think that regardless of religion, etiquette doesn't prohibit serving more than cake or punch at 2pm; that's the minimum that can be served at that time of day. At a mealtime the minimum would of course be a full meal.
    This.

    However, based on the varied responses in this thread, I think it would be very helpful to guests if couples indicated if they were having a cake and punch reception.  Many people here would likely expect a full meal after a 2pm wedding, based on their own experiences, and they might be hungry if they didn't know it was only a cake and punch reception and didn't plan accordingly.

    Wegl13 said:
    Just wanted to chime in and add that I don't think it's necessary to say "cake and punch" following if your wedding is at 2pm. While I get that some people have dinner and dancing following an early afternoon wedding, I still think a 2pm wedding with "reception to follow" implies you ain't getting a full meal unless otherwise noted. But like @CMGragain I've been to a LOT of Protestant cake and punch receptions. 

    But based on the responses in this thread, that's not necessarily the case. 

    Plus, you typically don't note anything other than "Reception to follow" even when you are having a full meal.  Ok, maybe an RSVP card is included with meal options, but in the past 3 years I've been to about 5 weddings and they were all buffet or food station receptions, so no meal options.

    Early weddings are not common in my circle at all, I've never been to one out of the 30+ weddings I've attended.  So if I now received an invitation to a 2pm wedding, I wouldn't really know whether it was going to be a cake and punch reception or a full meal. 

    Based on this thread, I'd assume I was going to get a full meal if the wedding was a Catholic one, and cake and punch if the wedding was Protestant :-P
    I would look at where the reception was to know whether I should expect a meal or not.  If the 2pm ceremony is in a church, the invitation says 'reception to follow' with no alternate location for the reception, I'd assume cake and punch.  If a reception card had me going to 'The Flying Monk Pub' for the reception, then I'd expect a lunch.  If the ceremony and reception were both at a community center or something, I might have a light lunch before the 2pm ceremony, knowing that if they didn't serve a meal, I could go out for dinner afterwards.
  • crowsgirl15crowsgirl15 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited November 2015
    From OP's wedding website: 

    On the "Welcome" page: "No open bar, don't kid yourselves."

    The page also includes a menu tab "Fundraising" where she links to a future GoFundMe page.  

    Yikes.

    EDITED TO REMOVE MY POST. I know it's quoted elsewhere, but I felt poorly about crossing the line and contributing. Admins, feel free to delete my reply. It was inappropriate.


    InLoveInQueens
  • From OP's wedding website: 

    On the "Welcome" page: "No open bar, don't kid yourselves."

    The page also includes a menu tab "Fundraising" where she links to a future GoFundMe page.  

    Yikes.

    This!!! I was just coming to point this out. This is one of the more cringeworthy wedding websites I've seen. "Don't buy us anything from our registries yet, we're just window shopping" also made my eyes widen.
    Oh, good, a GoFundMe!  Because everyone Deserves a big princess wedding.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Jen4948 said:
    I think you ladies may be right about Catholic receptions being traditionally larger than Protestant ones.  In my Protestant family, everyone who had guests at their wedding had a simple cake and punch reception.  It was expected.  The Catholic weddings I have attended have been much more elaborate.  No rules about this - just family customs.

    I think that regardless of religion, etiquette doesn't prohibit serving more than cake or punch at 2pm; that's the minimum that can be served at that time of day. At a mealtime the minimum would of course be a full meal.
    This.

    However, based on the varied responses in this thread, I think it would be very helpful to guests if couples indicated if they were having a cake and punch reception.  Many people here would likely expect a full meal after a 2pm wedding, based on their own experiences, and they might be hungry if they didn't know it was only a cake and punch reception and didn't plan accordingly.

    Wegl13 said:
    Just wanted to chime in and add that I don't think it's necessary to say "cake and punch" following if your wedding is at 2pm. While I get that some people have dinner and dancing following an early afternoon wedding, I still think a 2pm wedding with "reception to follow" implies you ain't getting a full meal unless otherwise noted. But like @CMGragain I've been to a LOT of Protestant cake and punch receptions. 

    But based on the responses in this thread, that's not necessarily the case. 

    Plus, you typically don't note anything other than "Reception to follow" even when you are having a full meal.  Ok, maybe an RSVP card is included with meal options, but in the past 3 years I've been to about 5 weddings and they were all buffet or food station receptions, so no meal options.

    Early weddings are not common in my circle at all, I've never been to one out of the 30+ weddings I've attended.  So if I now received an invitation to a 2pm wedding, I wouldn't really know whether it was going to be a cake and punch reception or a full meal. 

    Based on this thread, I'd assume I was going to get a full meal if the wedding was a Catholic one, and cake and punch if the wedding was Protestant :-P

    This is what I'm (ineloquently) getting at. You have to rely on the invitation, the location, the social norms, and so on. You can't just say oh, 2:00, must be cake and punch. 

    I've been to secular and protestant weddings that started at 2-3 and still served a meal and I've been to a catholic wedding that was cake and punch. Just like the invitation and venue communicates the formality, it should clue you in on what sort of hosting to expect. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • This is the reason why this forum exists, for every inadvertent etiquette faux pas that will ruffle a few feathers but that's the end of it, there's someone who like OP.

    As horrible as it sounds, this is why people side eye 21 year olds getting married. They want to play dress up but don't understand that being an adult requires thinking about others and making sacrifices. Getting married isn't about the pretty princess wedding and being the center of attention, especially not if you can't even afford to feed your guests. When you can't feed your guests (even cake and punch like PPs mentioned) then you can't have guests. Elope if you're on such a tight budget or postpone.
    [Deleted User]drunkenwitchspockforprez
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    adk19 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    I think you ladies may be right about Catholic receptions being traditionally larger than Protestant ones.  In my Protestant family, everyone who had guests at their wedding had a simple cake and punch reception.  It was expected.  The Catholic weddings I have attended have been much more elaborate.  No rules about this - just family customs.

    I think that regardless of religion, etiquette doesn't prohibit serving more than cake or punch at 2pm; that's the minimum that can be served at that time of day. At a mealtime the minimum would of course be a full meal.
    This.

    However, based on the varied responses in this thread, I think it would be very helpful to guests if couples indicated if they were having a cake and punch reception.  Many people here would likely expect a full meal after a 2pm wedding, based on their own experiences, and they might be hungry if they didn't know it was only a cake and punch reception and didn't plan accordingly.

    Wegl13 said:
    Just wanted to chime in and add that I don't think it's necessary to say "cake and punch" following if your wedding is at 2pm. While I get that some people have dinner and dancing following an early afternoon wedding, I still think a 2pm wedding with "reception to follow" implies you ain't getting a full meal unless otherwise noted. But like @CMGragain I've been to a LOT of Protestant cake and punch receptions. 

    But based on the responses in this thread, that's not necessarily the case. 

    Plus, you typically don't note anything other than "Reception to follow" even when you are having a full meal.  Ok, maybe an RSVP card is included with meal options, but in the past 3 years I've been to about 5 weddings and they were all buffet or food station receptions, so no meal options.

    Early weddings are not common in my circle at all, I've never been to one out of the 30+ weddings I've attended.  So if I now received an invitation to a 2pm wedding, I wouldn't really know whether it was going to be a cake and punch reception or a full meal. 

    Based on this thread, I'd assume I was going to get a full meal if the wedding was a Catholic one, and cake and punch if the wedding was Protestant :-P
    I would look at where the reception was to know whether I should expect a meal or not.  If the 2pm ceremony is in a church, the invitation says 'reception to follow' with no alternate location for the reception, I'd assume cake and punch.  If a reception card had me going to 'The Flying Monk Pub' for the reception, then I'd expect a lunch.  If the ceremony and reception were both at a community center or something, I might have a light lunch before the 2pm ceremony, knowing that if they didn't serve a meal, I could go out for dinner afterwards.
    I've been to several weddings that had full buffet meals in one of the halls on site at the church so. . . The ceremonies were at 3pm or 4pm IIRC, but still.



    Wegl13 said:
    Just wanted to chime in and add that I don't think it's necessary to say "cake and punch" following if your wedding is at 2pm. While I get that some people have dinner and dancing following an early afternoon wedding, I still think a 2pm wedding with "reception to follow" implies you ain't getting a full meal unless otherwise noted. But like @CMGragain I've been to a LOT of Protestant cake and punch receptions. 

    But based on the responses in this thread, that's not necessarily the case. 

    Plus, you typically don't note anything other than "Reception to follow" even when you are having a full meal.  Ok, maybe an RSVP card is included with meal options, but in the past 3 years I've been to about 5 weddings and they were all buffet or food station receptions, so no meal options.

    Early weddings are not common in my circle at all, I've never been to one out of the 30+ weddings I've attended.  So if I now received an invitation to a 2pm wedding, I wouldn't really know whether it was going to be a cake and punch reception or a full meal. 

    Based on this thread, I'd assume I was going to get a full meal if the wedding was a Catholic one, and cake and punch if the wedding was Protestant :-P

    This is what I'm (ineloquently) getting at. You have to rely on the invitation, the location, the social norms, and so on. You can't just say oh, 2:00, must be cake and punch. 

    I've been to secular and protestant weddings that started at 2-3 and still served a meal and I've been to a catholic wedding that was cake and punch. Just like the invitation and venue communicates the formality, it should clue you in on what sort of hosting to expect. 

    Exactly!  That's why I think it's a good idea, regardless of the type of event, to clue ppl into what type of event you are having, and not assume that they are going to be able to divine it just from your invitation style and reception time and site.  Those generally are a good indication of what's going to go down, but we have many examples in this thread where some of us would assume one thing for a 2pm reception, and others something completely different.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    MyNameIsNotSP29Liatris2010
  • adk19 said:
    From OP's wedding website: 

    On the "Welcome" page: "No open bar, don't kid yourselves."

    The page also includes a menu tab "Fundraising" where she links to a future GoFundMe page.  

    Yikes.

    This!!! I was just coming to point this out. This is one of the more cringeworthy wedding websites I've seen. "Don't buy us anything from our registries yet, we're just window shopping" also made my eyes widen.
    Oh, good, a GoFundMe!  Because everyone Deserves a big princess wedding.
    NOOOO! So many wrongs... OP, PLEASE lurk on the etiquette board a while longer.

    • Cash bars are not ok.
    • GoFundMe for weddings is certainly not ok.
    • Telling people not to buy things off your registry is not ok (you know you can set registries to private if you're not ready to share them, right?).
    • Referring to parents of the bride and groom as "attendants" on your wedding party page is just... weird. (Having "attendants" is not a real thing, and no one should be waiting on you on your wedding day.)
    Please rethink these things. It's unlikely anyone you invite will tell you to your face these things are rude, but I guarantee they will be thinking it.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    InLoveInQueens[Deleted User]
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    adk19 said:
    From OP's wedding website: 

    On the "Welcome" page: "No open bar, don't kid yourselves."

    The page also includes a menu tab "Fundraising" where she links to a future GoFundMe page.  

    Yikes.

    This!!! I was just coming to point this out. This is one of the more cringeworthy wedding websites I've seen. "Don't buy us anything from our registries yet, we're just window shopping" also made my eyes widen.
    Oh, good, a GoFundMe!  Because everyone Deserves a big princess wedding.
    NOOOO! So many wrongs... OP, PLEASE lurk on the etiquette board a while longer.

    • Cash bars are not ok.
    • GoFundMe for weddings is certainly not ok.
    • Telling people not to buy things off your registry is not ok (you know you can set registries to private if you're not ready to share them, right?).
    • Referring to parents of the bride and groom as "attendants" on your wedding party page is just... weird. (Having "attendants" is not a real thing, and no one should be waiting on you on your wedding day.)
    Please rethink these things. It's unlikely anyone you invite will tell you to your face these things are rude, but I guarantee they will be thinking it.

    I disagree with you in one aspect.  There's nothing "rude," "wrong" or "weird" about calling members of the wedding party "attendants."  It's just a shorter way of saying "members of the wedding party."
    simcal18
  • madamerwinmadamerwin member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited November 2015
    You're right, @PrettyGirlLost that was uncalled for... It only occurred to me to look because clearly it was easy to find for other posters, which brings me to another point: @taylm123 you may want to change your username to something that is NOT your name, it does make it easy to find information.

    Anyway, my bad for contributing to that, I'd remove my post if I could. Though my advice still stands.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited November 2015

    You're right, @PrettyGirlLost that was uncalled for... It only occurred to me to look because clearly it was easy to find for other posters, which brings me to another point: @taylm123 you may want to change your username to something that is NOT your name, it does make it easy to find information.

    Anyway, my bad for contributing to that, I'd remove my post if I could. Though my advice still stands.
    Or password protect your wedding website, @taylm123

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    madamerwinHeffalump
  • CMGragain said:
    Hey OP, you may want to specify on your invitations that it is a cake and punch reception, that way everyone knows what to expect and people can plan appropriately.
    If the wedding is at 2:00 PM, people would expect a cake and punch reception.

    adk19 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    I think you ladies may be right about Catholic receptions being traditionally larger than Protestant ones.  In my Protestant family, everyone who had guests at their wedding had a simple cake and punch reception.  It was expected.  The Catholic weddings I have attended have been much more elaborate.  No rules about this - just family customs.

    I think that regardless of religion, etiquette doesn't prohibit serving more than cake or punch at 2pm; that's the minimum that can be served at that time of day. At a mealtime the minimum would of course be a full meal.
    This.

    However, based on the varied responses in this thread, I think it would be very helpful to guests if couples indicated if they were having a cake and punch reception.  Many people here would likely expect a full meal after a 2pm wedding, based on their own experiences, and they might be hungry if they didn't know it was only a cake and punch reception and didn't plan accordingly.

    Wegl13 said:
    Just wanted to chime in and add that I don't think it's necessary to say "cake and punch" following if your wedding is at 2pm. While I get that some people have dinner and dancing following an early afternoon wedding, I still think a 2pm wedding with "reception to follow" implies you ain't getting a full meal unless otherwise noted. But like @CMGragain I've been to a LOT of Protestant cake and punch receptions. 

    But based on the responses in this thread, that's not necessarily the case. 

    Plus, you typically don't note anything other than "Reception to follow" even when you are having a full meal.  Ok, maybe an RSVP card is included with meal options, but in the past 3 years I've been to about 5 weddings and they were all buffet or food station receptions, so no meal options.

    Early weddings are not common in my circle at all, I've never been to one out of the 30+ weddings I've attended.  So if I now received an invitation to a 2pm wedding, I wouldn't really know whether it was going to be a cake and punch reception or a full meal. 

    Based on this thread, I'd assume I was going to get a full meal if the wedding was a Catholic one, and cake and punch if the wedding was Protestant :-P
    I would look at where the reception was to know whether I should expect a meal or not.  If the 2pm ceremony is in a church, the invitation says 'reception to follow' with no alternate location for the reception, I'd assume cake and punch.  If a reception card had me going to 'The Flying Monk Pub' for the reception, then I'd expect a lunch.  If the ceremony and reception were both at a community center or something, I might have a light lunch before the 2pm ceremony, knowing that if they didn't serve a meal, I could go out for dinner afterwards.
    That is a solid theory, but it doesn't really work well. I went to a 2 p.m. wedding recently at a barn/hall venue and it was followed by a full dinner and dancing.

    WHY they chose 2 p.m. was beyond me, but there you go. I think some sort of invitation indication is really the best bet.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited November 2015
    Guys, please don't Google user's wedding websites and then post about their etiquette faux pas. . . it's pretty damn creepy.

    I'm all for giving people proper etiquette advice on shit they bring up on the boards, in their own posts.  I'm not about softcore doxxing ppl and then trying to correct their weddings.
    Yeah, that was pretty low. You never know who might be lurking around here. Let's keep the discussion to things that are posted on TK. No need to look off site for drama.

                       
    CMGragainSTARMOON44SP29photokitty
  • KnotRileyKnotRiley New York, NY admin
    Moderator 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    Hi all,

    Echoing @MairePoppy and @PrettyGirlLost , but looking up another user's wedding website and posting about it, no matter how much you disagree with them, is not okay. If we continue to see you posting about this member's (or anyone else's) wedding website it will result in a warning. Let's stick to what's being posted in the thread and leave it at that.
  • This is the reason why this forum exists, for every inadvertent etiquette faux pas that will ruffle a few feathers but that's the end of it, there's someone who like OP.

    As horrible as it sounds, this is why people side eye 21 year olds getting married. They want to play dress up but don't understand that being an adult requires thinking about others and making sacrifices. Getting married isn't about the pretty princess wedding and being the center of attention, especially not if you can't even afford to feed your guests. When you can't feed your guests (even cake and punch like PPs mentioned) then you can't have guests. Elope if you're on such a tight budget or postpone.

    -------boxes-------

    Wrong. Please don't stereotype young brides. I know several young brides, younger than 21, who have had very few ettiquette faux pax, and the ones they had were pretty minor (registry info on invitations, invitations sent too early, for example)

    In fact, most of the young brides I know had cake and punch afternoon receptions, specifically because they couldn't afford more expensive ones.

    Age has nothing to do with it.

    adwks
  • This is the reason why this forum exists, for every inadvertent etiquette faux pas that will ruffle a few feathers but that's the end of it, there's someone who like OP.

    As horrible as it sounds, this is why people side eye 21 year olds getting married. They want to play dress up but don't understand that being an adult requires thinking about others and making sacrifices. Getting married isn't about the pretty princess wedding and being the center of attention, especially not if you can't even afford to feed your guests. When you can't feed your guests (even cake and punch like PPs mentioned) then you can't have guests. Elope if you're on such a tight budget or postpone.
    -------boxes------- Wrong. Please don't stereotype young brides. I know several young brides, younger than 21, who have had very few ettiquette faux pax, and the ones they had were pretty minor (registry info on invitations, invitations sent too early, for example) In fact, most of the young brides I know had cake and punch afternoon receptions, specifically because they couldn't afford more expensive ones. Age has nothing to do with it.
    All I'm saying is she's not helping the stereotype. I know plenty of young brides who are mature beyond their years and don't make any mistake and older ones who make all the mistakes in the world, this particular OP wants to play dress up. People make plenty of assumptions and in this case they'd be right.

    And you're right, I apologize for making the generalization in the first place. But she has a lot of growing up to do if she thinks she can treat her nearest and dearest like this.
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