Hi, all. I'm relatively new to this site, and this is my first post. I could really use some advice. My MIL's cancer returned this summer, so instead of waiting for our big wedding/reception date in mid-May 2016, we had a civil ceremony at the end of July. We wanted to be sure she would see us married, and we actually had my wife's parents stand up with us (my parents are both deceased, and her Mom said it was one of her proudest moments).
Unfortunately, her health deteriorated rapidly after that, and we spent all the time we could after that wrapped up in helping care for her and making as many memories as possible. She passed away mid-December (and a friend's husband passed away just before that, more quickly than anticipated). We discussed it, and though neither of us is very enthusiastic about it anymore (for obvious reasons), we know she would want us to continue with our plans for our big wedding and reception in May, and to also use it as a chance to see family neither of us has been able to see for a very long time. We will do what we can to honor her that day, and will use her decorating ideas to help us feel her presence with us on what is sure to be a very bittersweet day.
But on to the practicalities, as she would have said. We are now very behind in our wedding planning, and we never mailed out any Save-the-Dates. The majority of our families/wedding guest live in other states, and need time to plan their trips, if they indeed can come. So when do we send our invitations (or do we still send Save-the-Dates, but asap?)? And how do we word them when it feels a little crass and self-centered to be talking about celebrating anything yet. (It's only been a month since we lost her, but the wedding is now just 4 months out.) Help, suggestions, please. (Positive or helpful comments only, please. Haters need not reply.)