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Wedding Etiquette Forum
asimms12
member
NER: Too much dessert?
Not Etiquette Related, but you ladies give great opinions.
My friend is getting married in December. She really wants a candy bar. He really wants a s'Mores bar. They will also be having a cookie table (local tradition, not really optional). Is having cake also too much or is there no such thing as too much dessert?
They will have take home containers for the candy and cookies. (and that could be an option for the cupcakes too)
My friend is getting married in December. She really wants a candy bar. He really wants a s'Mores bar. They will also be having a cookie table (local tradition, not really optional). Is having cake also too much or is there no such thing as too much dessert?
They will have take home containers for the candy and cookies. (and that could be an option for the cupcakes too)
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Re: NER: Too much dessert?
For me personally though, it really seems like overkill- harmless overkill, but I'd still be mildly like wtf (I don't really like sweets so I probably wouldn't partake in any of this). Candy AND s'mores AND cookies AND cake? I mean, like I said, no skin off my teeth if everyone is well-hosted otherwise... it's just a lot.
Maybe ask a couple family members to be in charge of the smores, cakes and candy instead of cookies though to balance it out.
I also think it's a bit rude. Isn't the cookie table tradition that other people make cookies for you? If so, putting out tons of other competing desserts devalues that contribution.
Also, from a wedding I went to very recently, they had cake and a candy bar and I don't think I saw a single person getting candy (and there were a lot of kids present). But people did eat cake after the DJ announced it was served. So maybe make sure everyone is aware of all the options?
We also had to go containers. And we had awesome candies. None of this "candy to match our wedding colors" crap. We had candies from various different generations. There was something sweet about a 85+ year old getting excited over seeing their childhood candies.
It may be much, but if they time everything right, it should be fine. I do like the idea of combining the s'mores and candy bar. There's also a local place (assuming this is in Pittsburgh) that does customized ice cream sandwiches, which can account for cookies, s'mores and candy....
I agree with this. I grew up in that area and had a metric shit ton of cookies for my wedding, and I think my family and friends would have been offended if I also served a "candy bar" and a smores bar on top of everything they painstakingly made as a gift for me. Because that's what one of these cookie tables is. . . a gift your guests are giving to you for your reception.
Not really. A friend of the family works in the restaurant and catering business and told us that the general estimates they use for catered events is 1-1.5 dozen of cookies per guest.
Which is why we didn't serve the cookies until after dinner ;-)
And this is all the more reason to scrap the whole "candy bar" and smores bar idea. Pittsburghers really look forward to the cookies at weddings. They don't need or usually want all that other, extra junk.
OP, I'd make the suggestion that they move the "candy bar" and smores bar to the RD instead.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I would would lover the average to 1, maybe 2 cookies. So that means others are eating MORE than 18 cookies at an event.
ETA - DH prepares 1.5 cookies per per guest. On the boat I worked on we also prepared 1.5 per guests. We often had leftovers. Not a lot, but it was rare they were all gone.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I would would lover the average to 1, maybe 2 cookies. So that means others are eating MORE than 18 cookies at an event.
ETA - DH prepares 1.5 cookies per per guest. On the boat I worked on we also prepared 1.5 per guests. We often had leftovers. Not a lot, but it was rare they were all gone.
That's the figure for the Pittsburgh weddings and other events where cookies are the main desert. Pittsburghers love cookies.
And it's including as an expectation that people are taking them home. A dozen cookies to go at a few weddings a year is really not contributing to obesity.
ETA: I can easily eat an entire box of Oreos in one sitting. I don't anymore, but when I was in law school, I did it all the time.
Some family recipes are passed down with cookie tables in mind. We had a cookie table at my shower, and my aunt came over to bake shortly after Christmas. One of the family recipes she brought over called for 10 cups of flour, 14 eggs, 6 cups of sugar and 4lb of butter. We had to mix it in a metal cooler, but it made 40 dozen cookies about the size of a quarter.
Also count me in the camp of 18 cookies per person sounds INSANE. How small are these cookies?? How does a person possibly have room for that after a full meal?? I don't think I could eat 18 cookies even if it was all I ate all day...
And over the course of 4-6 hour reception? Where ppl are grazing. . . a dozen cookies is plausible. Even if the cookies are withheld until after dinner, that's typically still 3-4 hours of munching.
Keep in mind, these tables are typically present at Italian weddings. Have you seen how Italians cook/eat?
Do you have an actual citation for this? It makes sense, but this is the first time I've ever heard of that explanation or ever come across it.
They are the size of typical lady locks, thumb prints, mexican/russian wedding cookies, pizelles, peanut butter blossoms, etc. So, not that big really. And again, eaten over the course of 4-6 hours, and as @STARMOON44 mentioned people also take them home. They are like a secondary favor, lol.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I also have blood sugar issues. If I'm not careful too much sugar will make me crash later. So I limit myself.
when we were trying to figure out how many cupcakes to order H was like well I'll definitely eat 2 full size plus a bunch of minis and I'm sure others will too. I was like umm I'm pretty sure most of our guests will not be eating that much so we don't need to order a gazillion. And of course what happened, H had 1 full size cupcake and that was it the entire night - there was no time for sitting and eating cupcakes all night.
I will say that I am much more apt to eat multiple cookies than I would be to eat a few cupcakes. We had some grocery store bakery cookies that I bought Fri after work and I had 2 in the 10 min car ride home but I ate one from each side so H wouldn't notice.
Blood sugar issues are not something I'd mess with, though. I get that!
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Don't get me wrong. I like sweets. Ben and Jerry's Milk and cookies? Hell yeah. Candy, cakes, brownies, whatever. I just do not like them in in large quantities.
DH will eat a box of Oreos in a day, maybe day and a half. It would take me a week or more. Pint of ice cream takes him 2 days. Again, I can make it last a week or more. Although with him around I've been know to will speed up the process if I think he might eat it all before I get a chance.
I have the ability to take 2 days to finish a regular size Twix. I had clients send me a box of chocolates on Friday. I still haven't opened the box.
I'm a freak.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."