Announcing an Unplugged Ceremony

SP29 · February 2016

pinupbride6189 said:

wmam35 said:

Ugh @floridabride44 I know exactly what article you're talking about. I hate that article.

I still just don't understand this paranoia people have. Like if you think your guests are so stupid and rude that they don't know how to take a picture without getting in the way, or will have their faces glued to their phone the entire ceremony (is that really a thing???), why are you such good friends with them that they're at your wedding?

First of all, I'm not condoning the "Unplugged Wedding," nor do I intend to have one, and I actually look forward to seeing the cell phone pics guests take! But. One of FI's grandfathers is actually this rude and self-absorbed. Despite numerous people asking him to sit down and get out of the way at FBIL's hockey tournament recently, he stood and walked in front of the glass the entire game taking pictures and blocking the view of everyone behind him. I'm very nervous that, for example, right as FI and I kiss at the end of the ceremony, that he'll jump into the aisle to take pictures and block the photographer/everyone behind him. If we didn't have to invite him, we most definitely wouldn't because he's a pretty despicable person in general, but family politics being what they are...

If one is REALLY concerned that something like this might happen, one option is to string ribbon along the rows, with flowers or a bow on the side of the pew/chair, to block the row from the aisle. Guests will have to enter their row from the wall side, but it would keep the aisle clear.

I take pictures at weddings- with my camera. I still cry when the bride and groom say their vows. I still look at the decor, outside the window, the other guests. I am present.

pinupbride6189 · February 2016

SP29 said:

pinupbride6189 said:

wmam35 said:

Ugh @floridabride44 I know exactly what article you're talking about. I hate that article.

I still just don't understand this paranoia people have. Like if you think your guests are so stupid and rude that they don't know how to take a picture without getting in the way, or will have their faces glued to their phone the entire ceremony (is that really a thing???), why are you such good friends with them that they're at your wedding?

First of all, I'm not condoning the "Unplugged Wedding," nor do I intend to have one, and I actually look forward to seeing the cell phone pics guests take! But. One of FI's grandfathers is actually this rude and self-absorbed. Despite numerous people asking him to sit down and get out of the way at FBIL's hockey tournament recently, he stood and walked in front of the glass the entire game taking pictures and blocking the view of everyone behind him. I'm very nervous that, for example, right as FI and I kiss at the end of the ceremony, that he'll jump into the aisle to take pictures and block the photographer/everyone behind him. If we didn't have to invite him, we most definitely wouldn't because he's a pretty despicable person in general, but family politics being what they are...

If one is REALLY concerned that something like this might happen, one option is to string ribbon along the rows, with flowers or a bow on the side of the pew/chair, to block the row from the aisle. Guests will have to enter their row from the wall side, but it would keep the aisle clear.

I take pictures at weddings- with my camera. I still cry when the bride and groom say their vows. I still look at the decor, outside the window, the other guests. I am present.

I am actually considering it, but didn't know if that would be seen as rude for any reason, because yes, it is a true concern. My FMIL actually had a nightmare that he started making business plugs into the DJ's mic at the reception. Everyone she told said they wouldn't be at all surprised if that actually happened.

drunkenwitch · February 2016

NotMyMonkeys said:

If the first lady can be texting during the national anthem, knowing she would probably be photographed doing so, and being bashed for it harshly after (rightfully so), then you are probably SOL on telling your peeps to be "unplugged".

Thank you for showing your true **removed for TOS violation** colors so I know to take everything you with an entire salt flat.

missfrodo · February 2016

OP I doubt you're coming back, but in case you do read through all this...I haven't read through all the responses b/c I assume they all are saying the same thing. Just wanted to let you know, I was not even aware of anything my guests were doing during the ceremony. I remember seeing them as I walked in, and I had a sense of being in front of other people, but really I was so absorbed by my FI and the minister, someone's phone could have rang with an obnoxious ringtone and I don't think I would have noticed. Really, you will be so occupied with what's going on at the time, your guests' behavior during the ceremony may not even register in your mind (unless you have someone like pinupbride's future family). Consider this one less things to worry about.

MyNameIsNot · February 2016

pinupbride6189 said:

wmam35 said:

Ugh @floridabride44 I know exactly what article you're talking about. I hate that article.

I still just don't understand this paranoia people have. Like if you think your guests are so stupid and rude that they don't know how to take a picture without getting in the way, or will have their faces glued to their phone the entire ceremony (is that really a thing???), why are you such good friends with them that they're at your wedding?

First of all, I'm not condoning the "Unplugged Wedding," nor do I intend to have one, and I actually look forward to seeing the cell phone pics guests take! But. One of FI's grandfathers is actually this rude and self-absorbed. Despite numerous people asking him to sit down and get out of the way at FBIL's hockey tournament recently, he stood and walked in front of the glass the entire game taking pictures and blocking the view of everyone behind him. I'm very nervous that, for example, right as FI and I kiss at the end of the ceremony, that he'll jump into the aisle to take pictures and block the photographer/everyone behind him. If we didn't have to invite him, we most definitely wouldn't because he's a pretty despicable person in general, but family politics being what they are...

I certainly get that this would be annoying and frustrating. It would be nice if adults knew how to behave, but some just don't. But still, do you think that a note in the invitation or program would stop someone like this? Obviously numerous people asking him in person didn't do the trick.

I guess it's like including dress in your invitations. People who know how to dress themselves will be annoyed that you're telling them what to do, while clueless (or rude, as the case may be) people are just going to ignore you anyway.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2016

What I think is the following:

Corey Ann is a shitty, lazy photographer who is also a fearmonger. Stop buying into her crap and being a rude, controlling, bridezilla!

Here's a better perspective from an actual professional as to why "unplugged" is ridiculous (emphasis mine):

"It is our job as photographers to get the image no matter what. Someone steps in our way? Move. Flash from a camera messing up your photo, well, that’s why my camera shoots 8 frames a second. I’ll have 7 other images to choose from. During the ceremony, for the most part, the guests can’t move. I can. I can find another angle, I can move to the right or left I can kneel down to stand high, I have many options at my disposal to capture the images I am being paid (a lot of money) to capture. That is my job. It is my job as a photojournalist to read body language and know when someone is going to step in front of me. It is my job to know where the “action” is. It is my job to capture every moment as it happens and I don’t mind one bit if 100 other people are doing the same."

Source: http://blog.craigmitchelldyer.com/2013/05/30/unplugged-wedding-no-way-plug-in/

And another perspective: http://www.ablazephoto.com/why-you-should-not-have-an-unplugged-wedding/

pinupbride6189 · February 2016

MyNameIsNot said:

pinupbride6189 said:

wmam35 said:

Ugh @floridabride44 I know exactly what article you're talking about. I hate that article.

I still just don't understand this paranoia people have. Like if you think your guests are so stupid and rude that they don't know how to take a picture without getting in the way, or will have their faces glued to their phone the entire ceremony (is that really a thing???), why are you such good friends with them that they're at your wedding?

First of all, I'm not condoning the "Unplugged Wedding," nor do I intend to have one, and I actually look forward to seeing the cell phone pics guests take! But. One of FI's grandfathers is actually this rude and self-absorbed. Despite numerous people asking him to sit down and get out of the way at FBIL's hockey tournament recently, he stood and walked in front of the glass the entire game taking pictures and blocking the view of everyone behind him. I'm very nervous that, for example, right as FI and I kiss at the end of the ceremony, that he'll jump into the aisle to take pictures and block the photographer/everyone behind him. If we didn't have to invite him, we most definitely wouldn't because he's a pretty despicable person in general, but family politics being what they are...

I certainly get that this would be annoying and frustrating. It would be nice if adults knew how to behave, but some just don't. But still, do you think that a note in the invitation or program would stop someone like this? Obviously numerous people asking him in person didn't do the trick.

I guess it's like including dress in your invitations. People who know how to dress themselves will be annoyed that you're telling them what to do, while clueless (or rude, as the case may be) people are just going to ignore you anyway.

Oh, no. I don't think a note, or even someone saying something would stop him. People like him firmly believe that they are above the rules of polite society because, dammit, they just know better/are special/whatever. Like I said, I don't intend to include any notes or make any announcements, I was just pointing out that I get where the fear or concern comes from, and that yes, sometimes shitty people do have to be invited to weddings.

MyNameIsNot · February 2016

pinupbride6189 said:

MyNameIsNot said:

pinupbride6189 said:

wmam35 said:

Ugh @floridabride44 I know exactly what article you're talking about. I hate that article.

I still just don't understand this paranoia people have. Like if you think your guests are so stupid and rude that they don't know how to take a picture without getting in the way, or will have their faces glued to their phone the entire ceremony (is that really a thing???), why are you such good friends with them that they're at your wedding?

First of all, I'm not condoning the "Unplugged Wedding," nor do I intend to have one, and I actually look forward to seeing the cell phone pics guests take! But. One of FI's grandfathers is actually this rude and self-absorbed. Despite numerous people asking him to sit down and get out of the way at FBIL's hockey tournament recently, he stood and walked in front of the glass the entire game taking pictures and blocking the view of everyone behind him. I'm very nervous that, for example, right as FI and I kiss at the end of the ceremony, that he'll jump into the aisle to take pictures and block the photographer/everyone behind him. If we didn't have to invite him, we most definitely wouldn't because he's a pretty despicable person in general, but family politics being what they are...

I certainly get that this would be annoying and frustrating. It would be nice if adults knew how to behave, but some just don't. But still, do you think that a note in the invitation or program would stop someone like this? Obviously numerous people asking him in person didn't do the trick.

I guess it's like including dress in your invitations. People who know how to dress themselves will be annoyed that you're telling them what to do, while clueless (or rude, as the case may be) people are just going to ignore you anyway.

Oh, no. I don't think a note, or even someone saying something would stop him. People like him firmly believe that they are above the rules of polite society because, dammit, they just know better/are special/whatever. Like I said, I don't intend to include any notes or make any announcements, I was just pointing out that I get where the fear or concern comes from, and that yes, sometimes shitty people do have to be invited to weddings.

I know. I guess that "you" was more of a general you, not you specifically.

MandTFebruary62011 · February 2016

I know this is super late to the party but I found out the day I booked our date that it is the same date as the Michigan vs. Michigan State football game... because yes, apparently they do schedule those 2+ years in advance. I don't care about football but LOTS of our guests do. Most of them.

If it's not an early game I don't have a chance of having everyone be "in the moment" for my ceremony! I just know most people will be polite enough not to be watching the game/checking the score during it!

holyguacamole79 · February 2016

MandTFebruary62011 said:

I know this is super late to the party but I found out the day I booked our date that it is the same date as the Michigan vs. Michigan State football game... because yes, apparently they do schedule those 2+ years in advance. I don't care about football but LOTS of our guests do. Most of them.

If it's not an early game I don't have a chance of having everyone be "in the moment" for my ceremony! I just know most people will be polite enough not to be watching the game/checking the score during it!

Situations like that is one of the reasons why we did not have a fall wedding. (There were other more major considerations, especially the length of Catholic marriage prep). But, yeah - we knew that a wedding during college football season could get dicey.

[Deleted User] · February 2016

MandTFebruary62011 said:

I know this is super late to the party but I found out the day I booked our date that it is the same date as the Michigan vs. Michigan State football game... because yes, apparently they do schedule those 2+ years in advance. I don't care about football but LOTS of our guests do. Most of them.

If it's not an early game I don't have a chance of having everyone be "in the moment" for my ceremony! I just know most people will be polite enough not to be watching the game/checking the score during it!

I feel like I went to a wedding or graduation or something where the officiant announced the score of "the big game" at some point towards the end of the ceremony. I KNOW it happened once at a Harry Connick Jr concert.

MandTFebruary62011 · February 2016

adk19 said:

MandTFebruary62011 said:

I know this is super late to the party but I found out the day I booked our date that it is the same date as the Michigan vs. Michigan State football game... because yes, apparently they do schedule those 2+ years in advance. I don't care about football but LOTS of our guests do. Most of them.

If it's not an early game I don't have a chance of having everyone be "in the moment" for my ceremony! I just know most people will be polite enough not to be watching the game/checking the score during it!

I feel like I went to a wedding or graduation or something where the officiant announced the score of "the big game" at some point towards the end of the ceremony. I KNOW it happened once at a Harry Connick Jr concert.

Is it bad that I actually kind of love this?! Especially since our officiant will be a close friend with season tickets and the person who told me about the date. No matter what the game will be a part of our wedding for sure - even if we don't make it part of it!

[Deleted User] · February 2016

MandTFebruary62011 said:

adk19 said:

MandTFebruary62011 said:

I know this is super late to the party but I found out the day I booked our date that it is the same date as the Michigan vs. Michigan State football game... because yes, apparently they do schedule those 2+ years in advance. I don't care about football but LOTS of our guests do. Most of them.

If it's not an early game I don't have a chance of having everyone be "in the moment" for my ceremony! I just know most people will be polite enough not to be watching the game/checking the score during it!

I feel like I went to a wedding or graduation or something where the officiant announced the score of "the big game" at some point towards the end of the ceremony. I KNOW it happened once at a Harry Connick Jr concert.

Is it bad that I actually kind of love this?! Especially since our officiant will be a close friend with season tickets and the person who told me about the date. No matter what the game will be a part of our wedding for sure - even if we don't make it part of it!

I think it's good that you kind of love this. I think pointing out that you, your groom, the officiant, and everyone else involved with the wedding knows that something else is happening at the same time is good. Something funny at the beginning like, "let's get these two married so we can head to the hotel bar to watch the last quarter of the game." Or, "it's halftime, you can put down your phones for 15 minutes." Or, "if you hear cousin Bob and uncle Dan groaning or giving each other high fives in the back there, you can guess what's happening in the game." I mean, hopefully most of your guests will be polite, but as long as you say outloud what everyone is thinking, I think it will make people happy to know that you know.

kimmiinthemitten · February 2016

@MandTFebruary62011 I've attended two weddings on game day. Both rolled out a TV during the cocktail hour so we could finish the game. Michigan won both (2003 and 2012)!

MandTFebruary62011 · February 2016

kimmiinthemitten said:

@MandTFebruary62011 I've attended two weddings on game day. Both rolled out a TV during the cocktail hour so we could finish the game. Michigan won both (2003 and 2012)!

Haha, I think if Michigan won it might make T's day! Oh no... I hope they don't lose!

RODplans · February 2016

Clearly not many of y'all have been to the symphony. Requests to please refrain from using one's mobile are common there. IMO, this is no different than church, court, or an important business meeting, where one is expected to show proper reverence for the setting by not disrupting the proceedings with mobile phones and other forms of possible distraction or disrespect.

When I am attending a wedding ceremony as a guest (not in the wedding party, or as a professional), the wedding to me is like a fireworks display- brief, captivating, and beautiful, but not something I am likely to want to remember with a photo. I've never seen a framed picture of fireworks in someone's house (save for a college friend whose family owned a fireworks shop), nor have I seen a framed photo of a friend's wedding. That's my thought process for why I personally don't snap away with my iPhone during a ceremony.

The OP is the same as most brides- she wants a classy ceremony and to feel special on her special day. She can't be faulted for that. This also isn't her telling everyone how to raise their children, or whom to vote for. To me this is a pretty innocuous request.

Those who should be the target of ire are the adults who must so strongly go against the grain that they are unable to comply with an easy request on a day that is likely to be much more important to the bride than to the attendant.

glasgowtolondon · February 2016

RODplans said:

Clearly not many of y'all have been to the symphony. Requests to please refrain from using one's mobile are common there. IMO, this is no different than church, court, or an important business meeting, where one is expected to show proper reverence for the setting by not disrupting the proceedings with mobile phones and other forms of possible distraction or disrespect.

When I am attending a wedding ceremony as a guest (not in the wedding party, or as a professional), the wedding to me is like a fireworks display- brief, captivating, and beautiful, but not something I am likely to want to remember with a photo. I've never seen a framed picture of fireworks in someone's house (save for a college friend whose family owned a fireworks shop), nor have I seen a framed photo of a friend's wedding. That's my thought process for why I personally don't snap away with my iPhone during a ceremony.

The OP is the same as most brides- she wants a classy ceremony and to feel special on her special day. She can't be faulted for that. This also isn't her telling everyone how to raise their children, or whom to vote for. To me this is a pretty innocuous request.

Those who should be the target of ire are the adults who must so strongly go against the grain that they are unable to comply with an easy request on a day that is likely to be much more important to the bride than to the attendant.

FFS, calm down. If you took the time to read you'd see that no one here disagrees that its rude to be on your phone at a wedding. People do rude things, alert the authorities! Its also rude to tell guests what to do. They didn't buy a £200 symphony ticket, they're at the wedding of someone that they love. You seriously begrudge them a fucking iphone snap just so they can be 'present'?

banana468 · February 2016

RODplans said:

Clearly not many of y'all have been to the symphony. Requests to please refrain from using one's mobile are common there. IMO, this is no different than church, court, or an important business meeting, where one is expected to show proper reverence for the setting by not disrupting the proceedings with mobile phones and other forms of possible distraction or disrespect.

When I am attending a wedding ceremony as a guest (not in the wedding party, or as a professional), the wedding to me is like a fireworks display- brief, captivating, and beautiful, but not something I am likely to want to remember with a photo. I've never seen a framed picture of fireworks in someone's house (save for a college friend whose family owned a fireworks shop), nor have I seen a framed photo of a friend's wedding. That's my thought process for why I personally don't snap away with my iPhone during a ceremony.

The OP is the same as most brides- she wants a classy ceremony and to feel special on her special day. She can't be faulted for that. This also isn't her telling everyone how to raise their children, or whom to vote for. To me this is a pretty innocuous request.

Those who should be the target of ire are the adults who must so strongly go against the grain that they are unable to comply with an easy request on a day that is likely to be much more important to the bride than to the attendant.

We get that you want to please brides for a living.

As a certified wedding planner, it's in your best interest to please the brides.

We all agree that it's rude for guests to be on their phones. However to make huge requests of it or to try to turn the event into something it isn't is rude.

Maybe you don't have photos of fireworks or the couple's first kiss hanging in your home, but your desire for framed photos isn't necessarily the desire of everyone.

Unless your brides are having weddings in space that requires no outside photography, IMO it's inappropriate to advertise their desires as something that their guests must abide.

Similarly we tell brides that their desire to see their guests dress up is great. But unless their venue has attire restrictions that will force guests off the premises it's inappropriate to make such a request of them.

Ideally, people will know when and when not to be rude but unfortunately, you're going to have people who think they're exempt everywhere.

flantastic · February 2016

RODplans said:

Clearly not many of y'all have been to the symphony. Requests to please refrain from using one's mobile are common there. IMO, this is no different than church, court, or an important business meeting, where one is expected to show proper reverence for the setting by not disrupting the proceedings with mobile phones and other forms of possible distraction or disrespect.

When I am attending a wedding ceremony as a guest (not in the wedding party, or as a professional), the wedding to me is like a fireworks display- brief, captivating, and beautiful, but not something I am likely to want to remember with a photo. I've never seen a framed picture of fireworks in someone's house (save for a college friend whose family owned a fireworks shop), nor have I seen a framed photo of a friend's wedding. That's my thought process for why I personally don't snap away with my iPhone during a ceremony.

The OP is the same as most brides- she wants a classy ceremony and to feel special on her special day. She can't be faulted for that. This also isn't her telling everyone how to raise their children, or whom to vote for. To me this is a pretty innocuous request.

Those who should be the target of ire are the adults who must so strongly go against the grain that they are unable to comply with an easy request on a day that is likely to be much more important to the bride than to the attendant.

There's a lot wrong with this post, but I have a question:

How does people taking pictures make a ceremony less classy or the bride feel less special?

Beyond that:

People are taking pictures because they care to remember the day, not because they care a lot less than the bride. Just because you don't care enough about your friends' weddings to remember them (not something that must be done through pictures, but you yourself said you don't want to remember) doesn't mean that others don't care. I do have some framed pictures of my friends' weddings. It is also not irreverent per se to take a picture, only in certain settings which have conditions that your other examples have and weddings do not - so yes, it is in fact different.

For one, the symphony requires you put away your phones so a) they don't ring and disrupt a performance of sound that people have paid to see, b) you don't record an essentially copyrighted performance. Neither of those applies to a wedding.

floridabride44 · February 2016

RODplans said:

Clearly not many of y'all have been to the symphony. Requests to please refrain from using one's mobile are common there. IMO, this is no different than church, court, or an important business meeting, where one is expected to show proper reverence for the setting by not disrupting the proceedings with mobile phones and other forms of possible distraction or disrespect.

When I am attending a wedding ceremony as a guest (not in the wedding party, or as a professional), the wedding to me is like a fireworks display- brief, captivating, and beautiful, but not something I am likely to want to remember with a photo. I've never seen a framed picture of fireworks in someone's house (save for a college friend whose family owned a fireworks shop), nor have I seen a framed photo of a friend's wedding. That's my thought process for why I personally don't snap away with my iPhone during a ceremony.

The OP is the same as most brides- she wants a classy ceremony and to feel special on her special day. She can't be faulted for that. This also isn't her telling everyone how to raise their children, or whom to vote for. To me this is a pretty innocuous request.

Those who should be the target of ire are the adults who must so strongly go against the grain that they are unable to comply with an easy request on a day that is likely to be much more important to the bride than to the attendant.

Obviously most people aren't going to frame a photo of their friends' wedding ceremony and put it in their house.

However, I take iPhone photos at weddings all the time. Not for my own benefit or memories... but for the couple who's getting married. Because they won't see their professional photos for weeks or possibly months. Last wedding I went to I got a great shot of the bride & groom's first kiss (politely from my seat without leaning into the aisle or getting in the way of any professional photographer) and added it to a shared iCloud album that included the bride & groom. The bride saw it and made a point to come up to me at the reception and thank me for the wonderful photo.

No I'll never frame that photo in my home. But that doesn't mean it is a worthless photo.

MyNameIsNot · February 2016

RODplans said:

Clearly not many of y'all have been to the symphony. Requests to please refrain from using one's mobile are common there. IMO, this is no different than church, court, or an important business meeting, where one is expected to show proper reverence for the setting by not disrupting the proceedings with mobile phones and other forms of possible distraction or disrespect.

When I am attending a wedding ceremony as a guest (not in the wedding party, or as a professional), the wedding to me is like a fireworks display- brief, captivating, and beautiful, but not something I am likely to want to remember with a photo. I've never seen a framed picture of fireworks in someone's house (save for a college friend whose family owned a fireworks shop), nor have I seen a framed photo of a friend's wedding. That's my thought process for why I personally don't snap away with my iPhone during a ceremony.

The OP is the same as most brides- she wants a classy ceremony and to feel special on her special day. She can't be faulted for that. This also isn't her telling everyone how to raise their children, or whom to vote for. To me this is a pretty innocuous request.

Those who should be the target of ire are the adults who must so strongly go against the grain that they are unable to comply with an easy request on a day that is likely to be much more important to the bride than to the attendant.

Actually, I went to the symphony last weekend. It was lovely and had no mention of our phones. I guess they assume that most adults are smart enough to know not to text during the performance, and know that people who are too daft to figure it out are not likely to heed instructions anyway.

FWIW, there are framed photos of both my and my sister's weddings in our parents' and grandparents' homes. There are ceremony shots from a ton of weddings on my and my friends' FB pages. Just because you don't care to remember your loved ones' ceremonies doesn't mean other people don't.

[Deleted User] · February 2016

floridabride44 said:

RODplans said:

Clearly not many of y'all have been to the symphony. Requests to please refrain from using one's mobile are common there. IMO, this is no different than church, court, or an important business meeting, where one is expected to show proper reverence for the setting by not disrupting the proceedings with mobile phones and other forms of possible distraction or disrespect.

When I am attending a wedding ceremony as a guest (not in the wedding party, or as a professional), the wedding to me is like a fireworks display- brief, captivating, and beautiful, but not something I am likely to want to remember with a photo. I've never seen a framed picture of fireworks in someone's house (save for a college friend whose family owned a fireworks shop), nor have I seen a framed photo of a friend's wedding. That's my thought process for why I personally don't snap away with my iPhone during a ceremony.

The OP is the same as most brides- she wants a classy ceremony and to feel special on her special day. She can't be faulted for that. This also isn't her telling everyone how to raise their children, or whom to vote for. To me this is a pretty innocuous request.

Those who should be the target of ire are the adults who must so strongly go against the grain that they are unable to comply with an easy request on a day that is likely to be much more important to the bride than to the attendant.

Obviously most people aren't going to frame a photo of their friends' wedding ceremony and put it in their house.

However, I take iPhone photos at weddings all the time. Not for my own benefit or memories... but for the couple who's getting married. Because they won't see their professional photos for weeks or possibly months. Last wedding I went to I got a great shot of the bride & groom's first kiss (politely from my seat without leaning into the aisle or getting in the way of any professional photographer) and added it to a shared iCloud album that included the bride & groom. The bride saw it and made a point to come up to me at the reception and thank me for the wonderful photo.

No I'll never frame that photo in my home. But that doesn't mean it is a worthless photo.

I scrapbook. If I spend a day at a wedding, I will usually find four pictures of the day to put onto a page in my annual scrapbook. One of the couple kissing or dancing or just looking happy; one of me and FH all dressed up; and maybe one of us and our other friends, or the cute ring-bearer holding his stuffed dinosaur, or the interesting centerpieces, or the exit from the church, or a family photo including the couple if I know more members of the family. So, yes, I will take a photo or 8 to have some options with the scrapbooking. Just because I don't put the photo in a frame doesn't mean I don't eventually do something with it. I'd rather take my own photo than have to pay the photographer $6 for a single print to round out my page.

justsie · February 2016

@RODplans there are quite a few brides on here whose favorite photos are some from guests that captured moments that the photographer didn't. There are even some brides who had issues with their photographer sending them the photos and the only photos they have are the ones that were taken by guests.

drunkenwitch · February 2016

RODplans said:

Clearly not many of y'all have been to the symphony. Requests to please refrain from using one's mobile are common there. IMO, this is no different than church, court, or an important business meeting, where one is expected to show proper reverence for the setting by not disrupting the proceedings with mobile phones and other forms of possible distraction or disrespect.

When I am attending a wedding ceremony as a guest (not in the wedding party, or as a professional), the wedding to me is like a fireworks display- brief, captivating, and beautiful, but not something I am likely to want to remember with a photo. I've never seen a framed picture of fireworks in someone's house (save for a college friend whose family owned a fireworks shop), nor have I seen a framed photo of a friend's wedding. That's my thought process for why I personally don't snap away with my iPhone during a ceremony.

The OP is the same as most brides- she wants a classy ceremony and to feel special on her special day. She can't be faulted for that. This also isn't her telling everyone how to raise their children, or whom to vote for. To me this is a pretty innocuous request.

Those who should be the target of ire are the adults who must so strongly go against the grain that they are unable to comply with an easy request on a day that is likely to be much more important to the bride than to the attendant.

I've been to the Symphony, the Opera, Broadway shows in New York, stand up comedy, concerts, open mike mights, big shows in my city and many, many small local productions. I've also been on stage several times. What is your point?

scrunchythief · February 2016

RODplans said:

Clearly not many of y'all have been to the symphony. Requests to please refrain from using one's mobile are common there. IMO, this is no different than church, court, or an important business meeting, where one is expected to show proper reverence for the setting by not disrupting the proceedings with mobile phones and other forms of possible distraction or disrespect.

When I am attending a wedding ceremony as a guest (not in the wedding party, or as a professional), the wedding to me is like a fireworks display- brief, captivating, and beautiful, but not something I am likely to want to remember with a photo. I've never seen a framed picture of fireworks in someone's house (save for a college friend whose family owned a fireworks shop), nor have I seen a framed photo of a friend's wedding. That's my thought process for why I personally don't snap away with my iPhone during a ceremony.

The OP is the same as most brides- she wants a classy ceremony and to feel special on her special day. She can't be faulted for that. This also isn't her telling everyone how to raise their children, or whom to vote for. To me this is a pretty innocuous request.

Those who should be the target of ire are the adults who must so strongly go against the grain that they are unable to comply with an easy request on a day that is likely to be much more important to the bride than to the attendant.

Little late, but this is stuck in my head because of that line.

Image: http://40.media.tumblr.com/10e7f410c898744d172fc6eb68430044/tumblr_mfqq4ePVwU1qe8wmbo1_500.png

Teddy917 · February 2016

RODplans said:

Clearly not many of y'all have been to the symphony. Requests to please refrain from using one's mobile are common there. IMO, this is no different than church, court, or an important business meeting, where one is expected to show proper reverence for the setting by not disrupting the proceedings with mobile phones and other forms of possible distraction or disrespect.

When I am attending a wedding ceremony as a guest (not in the wedding party, or as a professional), the wedding to me is like a fireworks display- brief, captivating, and beautiful, but not something I am likely to want to remember with a photo. I've never seen a framed picture of fireworks in someone's house (save for a college friend whose family owned a fireworks shop), nor have I seen a framed photo of a friend's wedding. That's my thought process for why I personally don't snap away with my iPhone during a ceremony.

The OP is the same as most brides- she wants a classy ceremony and to feel special on her special day. She can't be faulted for that. This also isn't her telling everyone how to raise their children, or whom to vote for. To me this is a pretty innocuous request.

Those who should be the target of ire are the adults who must so strongly go against the grain that they are unable to comply with an easy request on a day that is likely to be much more important to the bride than to the attendant.

I've been to plenty of symphonies and other events that ask people to turn off their cell phones. Guess what? Most of the time I see many people around me ignoring the request. It's not going to be any better at a wedding. Those people that do know that it's rude to be on your phone during certain events will turn their phones off and usually don't need the reminder. Those that don't know or don't care will be on their phones regardless of an announcement.

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