I just got a text from a BM who wanted to know what kind of shoes I wanted the BM's to wear. I told her I wanted everyone to wear whatever they liked and felt comfortable in and they don't need to worry about buying anything new if they already have something they love. She replied with "Thank you!! I have so many shoes from other weddings I've been in!"
It got me thinking about the crazy things that have gone on in wedding parties I've been in and heard about from others. I'd love to hear more, Tuesdays are slow at my office!
I'll share my worst experience:
I was asked to be a BM by a woman that I knew through an ex boyfriend. When the ex and I split she would text me occasionally and we did meet up a few times for coffee. She was always very vocal about not having many girl friends and how much she valued our friendship. I was a little caught off guard when she asked me to be her BM in her wedding, but since I knew I was one of her only female friends, I agreed. She asked her Cousin and FSIL as well.
3 weeks before the bridal shower I get a text message from the bride saying "Can you bring cupcakes to the shower? Cousin and FSIL have been doing a lot and said you haven't done anything, they figured out how much everything cost, and your share is $125." I was super shocked because I offered to do so much! I told both Cousin and FSIL that I would do the invites, help with decorations or bring anything they needed and they continually told me "No thanks, we got it." I sucked it up and brought the cupcakes and paid my "share".
When planning the weekend in Las Vegas bachelorette party, they asked what dates worked for everyone, I said all dates were good for me with one exception because my brother was coming to visit from MO. (we are in CA) for the first time in 4 years and my family had planned a bunch of stuff around seeing him and spending time with him the 3 days he'd be here. They had 7 other dates to select from and picked that date. I said sorry, can't make it. They asked if I could still split the brides cost. I said No.
A month before the wedding, Bride texts me, "I want everyone's hair and make up to match. Hair and make up will cost each BM $150. You will also need to do a trial this weekend that will be $50." I was floored. I had just bought a house and couldn't/didn't want to keep shelling out money on being her BM! I had already paid around $350 on dress and shoes. I asked if I could just do my own hair and make up to match everyone. She didn't reply for a few days and then replied, "You have been so difficult! first my shower then the Vegas trip! You are being so cheap!! You make more than any of us, I didn't think this would be an issue for you! do you even want to be a BM?" I was super mad, so I just replied "Nope, this is just too much." She asked if she could have the BM dress I bought in case she can find a "replacement" in time. I didn't even respond.
She deleted me from FB and I haven't talked to her since. Also, she had asked me to make her wedding cake and 200 cupcakes to help save money. I've made cakes for other weddings and events but am usually compensated. I didn't make her cake or cupcakes and just figured we were even since I shelled out over $500 on her wedding.
Worst I've ever heard:
I heard a horrible story from a friend that was in a bridal party where one BM was plus size and the BM dresses the bride selected didn't go to her size, so the bride told the BM to buy two dresses and get it altered.