Spock and her H

spockforprez · March 2016

natswild said:

Good for @spockforprez and Mr. Spock for deciding to push the wedding forward and getting it done. I don't see any reason why they should have waited, and she brought up a good point that when the original date was, it would have been potentially far more painful and difficult to have the wedding done then. She is a real class act, and she is a real inspiration to me for how do deal with life in a crisis.

ETA, I would also be interested in the video.

That is so nice of you to say! I have no fucking clue what I'm doing, to be honest. I am just bumbling around trying to take care of him as best I can, relying on doctors, nurses, our lawyer, and our community. So I'm not sure I'd be a good role model for a crisis haha but I still appreciate you saying that! ❤️❤️

spockforprez · March 2016

CMGragain said:

Ha! Spock, I feel for you! My MIL sat in a corner at our wedding, crying, and told everyone who would listen to her that her son was making the worst mistake of his life! Most people knew she had mental issues, and they expressed sympathy to me afterwards. I just kept smiling.
I won. I outlived her. We have been happily married for almost 40 years. That is the best revenge!
Just go with the flow, honey. You and your FI will have a long, long time to make adjustments to your new life together. We all know it won't be unicorns and butterflies in the rose garden, but there will be lots of happy times ahead to balance the lows. You are surrounded by love and good wishes.

Haha... I think I've heard that story from you before but it's still so unbelievable! My MIL is not quite that bad, thankfully. She's in much better spirits today and wants a copy of the paper where one of the articles ran. Like I said, hot and cold! I'm sure yesterday was emotional for her and we all deal with things in different ways. And really, she and my FIL have been very supportive of us over the years. Just a bit of a different species from me, emotionally speaking.

MairePoppy · March 2016

@spockforprez Maybe your MIL is traumatized by the accident, too. She nearly lost her son and I imagine that she is having a hard time dealing with her feelings.

spockforprez · March 2016

MairePoppy said:

@spockforprez Maybe your MIL is traumatized by the accident, too. She nearly lost her son and I imagine that she is having a hard time dealing with her feelings.

I'm sure she is, absolutely. I'm not holding a grudge over yesterday. I keep telling H this whole thing will be a blip compared to our life together. It will all be worth it!

CMGragain · March 2016

I know how I felt when my son was burned in his house fire several years ago! I wanted to jump on a plane and fly across the country to be with him, but he kept saying he'd rather that I not bother. His sister kept me updated. A year later when I visited, the first thing I did was to grab his hands and look at the scars. Fortunately for him, they weren't as bad as I had imagined.
I do sympathize with your MIL. You never stop being his mother, even when he has a wife. (I wish my son could find a girl as steady as you!)

sarahufl · March 2016

YOU'RE MARRIED!!! Awesome. You look gorgeous. I wish you and your H nothing but happiness.

Look at it this way, you've been dealt a crappy hand and you have been nothing but positive, classy and awesome about it. Keep it up. Haters gonna hate, the important thing is you married someone you really care about and you have great plans for your life together.

You have so much to look forward to

flantastic · March 2016

spockforprez said:

MairePoppy said:

@spockforprez Maybe your MIL is traumatized by the accident, too. She nearly lost her son and I imagine that she is having a hard time dealing with her feelings.

I'm sure she is, absolutely. I'm not holding a grudge over yesterday. I keep telling H this whole thing will be a blip compared to our life together. It will all be worth it!

Ideas on possible MIL trains of thought - I can see where she'd be wanting her son to be recovered enough to wear pants for his wedding (something she'll now just have to grieve for along with the rest of how she thought his life would go, but will get over) and/or she may feel like you pressured him into getting married rightthisminute (which if true* might create real concerns down the road in your relationship with her). Just be prepared for either.

*ETA to clarify - "if true" that she feels that way, not "if true" that you pressured him.

You and your H look very happy.

SP29 · March 2016

Congratulations!

Love the pics- you all look so happy!

Woot woot!

Sherbie25 · March 2016

holyguacamole79 said:

@KatWAG , @climbingwife - go easy on Spock. She and her H (and their families) have been through a whirlwind of hell the last few weeks. I can appreciate concern regarding HIPAA, but what's done is done. I'm sure that if Spock & her husband had legal privacy concerns, they'd take the appropriate measures.

Can we please just focus on the fact that she's now married and that she & her husband were able to enjoy the day in light of all the pain?

Completely agree. Let's see how they would react in such a situation. Emotions all over the place, rational thought out of the window...
Give her a bloody break

Sherbie25 · March 2016

I also find it says a lot that the people calling her actions 'suspicious', making negative unhelpful remarks and retorting back and forth haven't found the time to congratulate her on previous link.

@spockforprez congrats you look amazing in your dress and good luck for the next phase of your life together

debbeau · March 2016

Congratulations! I can fully understand wanting to be married now and not waiting. The frills and party were not the most important thing to you. Being husband and wife is.
That is admirable.

Gustafson28 · March 2016

Eek! SOOO happy for you guys! You both looked so happy. All the best for you and your H (!!!).

AddieCake · March 2016

Congratulations!

TheCheeseWench · March 2016

photokitty said:

For the record, I felt like a huge ass when I questioned if it was a good idea to push the wedding up bc I was concerned about her then FI possibly having to declare bankruptcy bc of financially devastating hospital bills.

I can't imagine what I'd feel like posting "I found your GFM" on a site full of women who openly hate on GFM, hell just last night a girl asked if she could set one up for her dad's skilled nursing care so he could attend her wedding and was told NO! But I'm sure you're post totally came from a place of genuine concern for her safety

Actually Photokitty bankruptcy is a valid concern, so I don't think you should feel like an ass for being cocerned for them. I'm sure they took that into account when making the decision, but now that they are married it might not be an option. My accident last year was not as bad as this, but 2 weeks in the hospital and 2 surgeries will set you back well over 100k. I was told that if I was going to need to file, I had to do it before we got married, since MW's salary would disqualify me.

Congrats Spock! Best wishes to you and your new HUSBAND!

spockforprez · March 2016

Thanks all for the warm wishes and support-- y'all are the best! Right now all the hubbub has died down from our time in the news and we are eagerly anticipating H's release to a local nursing home! And also being able to use a power wheelchair and move around independently.

We talked to the lawyer in depth about getting married and bankruptcy and basically what it came down to was the vast majority of the bill will be from the hospital itself. This hospital is operated by the state of Virginia and you cannot bankrupt the bills. So if it wouldn't relieve 90+% of the medical debt, there wasn't really any point in keeping a potential bankruptcy on the table. That's why we felt safe moving ahead with getting married.

H is feeling pretty good lately. He has virtually no physical pain, his pain management schedule keeps him comfortable. His main source of pain is phantom limb pain and he's currently trying a combo of drugs for that. Once in the nursing home we'd like to try some other therapies to help with that, like massage, and mirror therapy. He's so excited to get out of the hospital. Yesterday was four weeks!

pinupbride6189 · March 2016

Congratulations on your marriage! You looked stunning, and you both look so happy!

downtondiva · March 2016

Congratulations, Spock! It is good to see you finding joy in the midst of a difficult time. Best of luck to you and your new husband!

thefanciestbeckler · March 2016

I can't believe it's been four weeks!!! I love hearing these positive updates

lembaslover · March 2016

Congrats!! I'm so happy for you that you got married (and sorry it was more of a circus than you wanted)! I'm sure it's hard for some people to understand but it sounds like you did what was important for you guys and I think it's awesome since you both have had such great attitudes through a huge tragedy. I keep you guys in my thoughts and hope your husband keeps heeling and that both of your lives get back to normal, even if it is a new normal. Hopefully you guys find a silver lining and maybe your husband will find a new activity he loves that he never tried before or would have tried. Anyways congratulations again and thank you for sharing your story, I think it's truly inspiring.

sparklepants41 · March 2016

spockforprez said:

natswild said:

Good for @spockforprez and Mr. Spock for deciding to push the wedding forward and getting it done. I don't see any reason why they should have waited, and she brought up a good point that when the original date was, it would have been potentially far more painful and difficult to have the wedding done then. She is a real class act, and she is a real inspiration to me for how do deal with life in a crisis.

ETA, I would also be interested in the video.

That is so nice of you to say! I have no fucking clue what I'm doing, to be honest. I am just bumbling around trying to take care of him as best I can, relying on doctors, nurses, our lawyer, and our community. So I'm not sure I'd be a good role model for a crisis haha but I still appreciate you saying that! ❤️❤️

Congrats on your wedding, Spock!

Regarding the bolded - you are definitely not giving yourself enough credit! You and your H are handling the entire situation extremely well, being pillars of strength for each other, and looking adversity right in the face and telling it to F off.

I wish the two of you smooth sailing in the days, weeks, months, and years to come, and a lifetime of love, happiness, laughter, and new adventures.

drunkenwitch · March 2016

You two are amazing! You have support from this corner of the Internets and something i hope will make you smile. Because cheerleader kitten always has your back.

tigerlily6 · March 2016

Late to the party (I've been away from internet the past few days), but just wanted to chime in:

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S, S P O C K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You and your H both look so happy and radiant, and you are glowing and beautiful! I'm so incredibly happy for both of you and excited that you are now officially a wife! It sounds like it was a bit of a whirlwind of a day, but a wonderful one overall. I continue to keep you both in my thoughts and prayers as you navigate through the craziness, but so excited to know you two got a day to purely celebrate, as I think you have a kind of love that certainly deserves some celebration! Congrats, again!

monkeysip · March 2016

Just went and looked at the photos on the other thread. How beautiful! I love your hair! And you both look so happy.

I'm so happy you were able to get married, although I'm sorry about MIL

But congratulations!

Jen4948 · March 2016

Congratulations and best wishes, @spockforprez !

spockforprez · March 2016

Thank you all!!!

We've had an interesting week. H was released from the hospital Monday night (after 31 days!) into a skilled nursing facility.

It's not bad. There are pros and cons. On the positive side, a change of scenery is nice, he has a power chair that he uses to go outside regularly, he gets 1.5 hours of OT and PT per day, and we're one more step closer to rehab and then home. Negatives... the food is truly horrendous. We are having to bring all meals in because the quality is so bad. I find it hard, and sad, to believe folks live there full time! And the quality of the nursing is far lower, too. Which makes sense, I guess, but still sucks! And H is just sort of a fish out of water. He does have a private room, due to his age difference, but being a mid-30's person in a nursing home just sort of makes you feel weird.

Hoping this time goes by very swiftly and we can get to the hard but rewarding work of rehab and then home!

ernursej · March 2016

spockforprez said:

Thank you all!!!

We've had an interesting week. H was released from the hospital Monday night (after 31 days!) into a skilled nursing facility.

It's not bad. There are pros and cons. On the positive side, a change of scenery is nice, he has a power chair that he uses to go outside regularly, he gets 1.5 hours of OT and PT per day, and we're one more step closer to rehab and then home. Negatives... the food is truly horrendous. We are having to bring all meals in because the quality is so bad. I find it hard, and sad, to believe folks live there full time! And the quality of the nursing is far lower, too. Which makes sense, I guess, but still sucks! And H is just sort of a fish out of water. He does have a private room, due to his age difference, but being a mid-30's person in a nursing home just sort of makes you feel weird.

Hoping this time goes by very swiftly and we can get to the hard but rewarding work of rehab and then home!

Love that he is one step closer to home. It is appalling that food quality could be so low at places where people live full time. Thanks for the update and keeping you both in my thoughts.

holyguacamole79 · March 2016

Been thinking about you. Happy early Easter!

SP29 · March 2016

Booo to the food, but otherwise it sounds like a step in a great direction. Fortunately for him it is temporary (feel bad for those that live there full time).

It's great to hear he gets that much rehab at a non-rehab facility.

glasgowtolondon · March 2016

@spockforprez sucks about the food, I guess at least this weekend you can sneak him in chocolate eggs!

spockforprez · March 2016

Yeah, the Easter Bunny came to see him today. He got a hot rod magazine, a fishing magazine, and some Jelly Bellies. He also got a pair of scissors for opening packages, some floss, and some toothpicks. I had to get him that stuff anyway so I just threw it in his bag

There probably won't be very many updates for awhile. The place he is in is so depressing in a way that's hard to describe. We are going to do the best we can, but his spirits are definitely down.

Hoping to have a good schedule of visitors coming and going to keep him occupied and keep time going by quickly.

Spock and her H

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