Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridesmaids financial responsibilities

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Re: Bridesmaids financial responsibilities

  • I believe the story. An ex friend of mine had a personality where much of the stuff this bride is doing is stuff I could picture my ex friend doing. Like, prior to this chick's wedding she wanted to take dance lessons. So she posted on FB something like, "Does anyone want to join us on Friday night? You can hang out with us and [toddler] while we take dance lessons!" No, bitch, you're asking for a free babysitter. This chick also made a lot of demands of her bridal party, including having them fly out early for slave labor. Even though she had her wedding at a country club, she obviously cheaped out on labor because it was her bridal party and their SO's who were ironing linens and setting up and stuff rather than staff. 

    These people do exist.... 
    ________________________________


  • I dunno if Brad was real, but we had a reg here that had repeated, crazy rude-ass stories from her H/FI's best friend "Brad". Each story was more and more ridiculous. When suspicious started, reg got upset and never came back.
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  • I believe you, I have know crazy brides before.  Please keep us in the loop, I'm invested now and want to know how the wedding itself goes.  Its like reading half a book, you can't do that to us!
  • debbeaudebbeau member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Do I believe it ? Yes. Last summer I was a BM in a SILs  wedding and she told us we each needed to pay $75.00 toward her dress since she went over budget. Her mother was charging at the door for the piece of cake that was boxed to bring home. Cash bar and baskets passed around at the tables for money for the honeymoon. 
  • debbeau said:
    Do I believe it ? Yes. Last summer I was a BM in a SILs  wedding and she told us we each needed to pay $75.00 toward her dress since she went over budget. Her mother was charging at the door for the piece of cake that was boxed to bring home. Cash bar and baskets passed around at the tables for money for the honeymoon. 
    Holy shit.
                 
  • I dunno if Brad was real, but we had a reg here that had repeated, crazy rude-ass stories from her H/FI's best friend "Brad". Each story was more and more ridiculous. When suspicious started, reg got upset and never came back.
    Ah, thanks, I just found the thread!

    OP's story seems pretty believable to me as well.  It sounds like an immature/entitled twenty-something who doesn't understand proper hosting and who over shares on Facebook.  Not exactly hard to come by.  When I was 21/22 my friends and I had a pretty warped idea of what bridesmaids should be doing (built up by the media), and I shudder to think of how any one of us would have acted had we gotten engaged during that time.

    Could be made up.  This is also the Internet.......
  • spockforprezspockforprez member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2016
    Yes, we all know crazy brides. But has anyone ever met a bride this crazy?

    Because I am Sherlock Holmes or something, here is the list of stories/claims:

    • Bridesmaids must pay for dresses, shoes, hair, makeup, jewelry, bouquets, wedding fundraiser, b-party, and host rehearsal dinner
    • Bridesmaids must pay for and create bride survival kit
    • OP stepped down from wedding party along with another bridesmaid and a groomsman
    • OP was replaced the same day/next day
    • OP gave bride a shot of brutal honesty about not being money whores and bride immediately polled all other bridesmaids to ask if they agreed with OP and all bridesmaids told her they did
    • Stress of wedding puts bride in the hospital with a gallstone, which bride discusses and exaggerates on social media as 39mm instead of .39mm (0.039cm, normally gallstones are around 3-4cm)
    • Bride stays in hospital 2 days with only IV fluids as treatment while waiting for MRI results
    • Bride wants an elective gallbladder removal surgery even though the MRI was clear
    • Bride has a "honeypot" in addition to the stag & doe
    • Bride sends invites 4 months in advance with no spouses included and names spelled incorrectly even after OP had a stern talking-to about this with her before the stag & doe
    • Bride didn't include stamps on the return envelopes
    • Bride posts on facebook that she better get the RSVP cards mailed back
    • RSVP date is in March for a May wedding
    • OP is B-listed without her SO
    • Bridesmaids have to pay for and assemble brooch bouquets by a deadline 3.5 months before the wedding
    • Supplies for the brooch bouquets (which are mostly silk flowers and 4-5 brooches) cost over $100
    • OP says bride bought all the brooches herself on ebay
    • OP posts pictures of a poorly composed "brooch" bouquet (these pictures do check out as original on a Google image search) that outrages everyone because it looks like it cost $12, not $100+
    • Bride throws OP a bone by giving her a pity bracelet with an initial charm she bought at Michaels before OP dropped out
    • Bride has her elective gallbladder surgery and discusses the side effects, including explosive diarrhea, ad nauseum on social media
    • Bride badgers people about their RSVP before the RSVP date
    • Bride bitches on facebook about invitations and RSVPs being lost in the mail and how she is tired of people talking shit about her wedding
    • Bride is having a buffet in a hall that can seat 100 and will definitely be over capacity according to OP
    • Bride's FMIL wanted to buy bottles of wine only for tables that included her own family
    • Bride has a cash bar with one bottle white and one bottle red (both hosted) at each table
    • OP wonders if they will be 750mL or 1L bottles, but it doesn't matter because the uncorking fee is the same
    • A few posts later OP wonders if bride even knows about the uncorking fees
    • Bride post another social media blast about how shitty people treat her
    • In the same post she raves about all the loot she got at her "bridle" shower
    • Bride drops the hosted wine bottle idea because it was $50 per table ($25 per bottle) and switches to drink tickets
    • Drink tickets must have guest names on them
    • In addition to cash bar and drink tickets, guests must pay for soda and other soft drinks
    • Bachelorette party is on a Sunday at 9pm (80's night) and bride requires that people take off work the next day
    • Bride is on disability and hasn't worked for five years
    • Bride posts on facebook about her FH's colon
    • Bride issues invitations to a non-hosted continental hotel breakfast the morning after the wedding
    • Hotel tells bride they won't be able to accommodate 40+ persons for her breakfast party and bride creates drama over this on social media
    • Breakfast (which is back on by this point, apparently) is $10 per person for standard fare and an upgrade fee if you want pancakes or something
    • Bride has lost weight and wants new engagement pictures taken
    • Bride requests a family or friend donate their skills and time to take the additional photoshoot

    Do I believe the bride is real? Yes. Are there things in that list that are true? Sure, definitely. Is this bride BSC? Absolutely. Did all of the above happen exactly as OP described with no embellishing or made up tales for our entertainment (because all she ever got was praise and validation)? No, I don't think so.

    For example, the corking fees thing. If OP isn't sure that the bride knows about the corking fees, then how on earth does OP know about them? Is OP going to venue appointments? Is she the wedding planner? OP stood up to this bride and told her off and obviously doesn't like her at all, so why is she still getting involved and putting up with all the bullshit?

    Combined with the OP running scared as soon as someone questions her, I just don't buy this, sorry.
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  • I believe it too. OP is from the same area that I am and if I'm not mistaken her cousin sounds a lot like the girls I went to High School with, including someone whose wedding I was in many moons ago. 

    @woodtdm, I think Spock may just be projecting because someone called her out a couple of weeks ago on a thread. We look forward to hearing about the aftermath of this wedding, especially since it falls on 2-4 weekend...
    I didn't mind being called out because I didn't do anything wrong and clearly didn't fabricate my story. I also didn't say "this is my last post" and run away like OP.

    My beef with over the top stories is that it takes the fun out when you can't believe it. It's like Santa. I want to believe! But I just can't. 
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  • I do want to say my favorite part of this thread was "bridle" shower. That is fucking hilarious.
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  • But there were still a lot of us who were entertained so you're basically the 1st grader who found out Santa isn't real and told their whole class so the fun is ruined for everyone...
    I'm sorry! I just couldn't believe NO ONE ever questioned her (except @ShesSoCold but I didn't pick up on the Brad thing) and after 12 pages I couldn't stop myself. 

    We can always continue it as a fanfic?!
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  • Calm down...

    She did mention that she was part of the bridal party AND planning her own wedding. The area that the OP and BSC bride are from have standard liquor/corking fees. Our booze is regulated through one Government body and all pricing has to be fairly standard, it stands to reason that if she is doing research for her own wedding, she would know this. 

    Honestly, I do know women like this bride. They do exist. I'm so glad that you have never had the honour of meeting them. 

    I don't think OP has "run scared" but maybe she's taking a break from the accusations being thrown at her. 
    I am perfectly calm. I just wanted to document all the BSC claims that were made in one place.

    She said she didn't want to post anymore because "we were right" and it was mean. I never said it was mean. I just said I wasn't willing to sign on without proof. Who cares what I think? OP could have continued BAU. She didn't want to post a screenshot but was willing to quote her verbatim a couple times, so I don't get the whole breach of confidentiality thing.

    I'm sorry I killed Christmas. 
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  • debbeaudebbeau member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Yes, we all know crazy brides. But has anyone ever met a bride this crazy?

    Because I am Sherlock Holmes or something, here is the list of stories/claims:

    • Bridesmaids must pay for dresses, shoes, hair, makeup, jewelry, bouquets, wedding fundraiser, b-party, and host rehearsal dinner
    • Bridesmaids must pay for and create bride survival kit
    • OP stepped down from wedding party along with another bridesmaid and a groomsman
    • OP was replaced the same day/next day
    • OP gave bride a shot of brutal honesty about not being money whores and bride immediately polled all other bridesmaids to ask if they agreed with OP and all bridesmaids told her they did
    • Stress of wedding puts bride in the hospital with a gallstone, which bride discusses and exaggerates on social media as 39mm instead of .39mm (0.039cm, normally gallstones are around 3-4cm)
    • Bride stays in hospital 2 days with only IV fluids as treatment while waiting for MRI results
    • Bride wants an elective gallbladder removal surgery even though the MRI was clear
    • Bride has a "honeypot" in addition to the stag & doe
    • Bride sends invites 4 months in advance with no spouses included and names spelled incorrectly even after OP had a stern talking-to about this with her before the stag & doe
    • Bride didn't include stamps on the return envelopes
    • Bride posts on facebook that she better get the RSVP cards mailed back
    • RSVP date is in March for a May wedding
    • OP is B-listed without her SO
    • Bridesmaids have to pay for and assemble brooch bouquets by a deadline 3.5 months before the wedding
    • Supplies for the brooch bouquets (which are mostly silk flowers and 4-5 brooches) cost over $100
    • OP says bride bought all the brooches herself on ebay
    • OP posts pictures of a poorly composed "brooch" bouquet (these pictures do check out as original on a Google image search) that outrages everyone because it looks like it cost $12, not $100+
    • Bride throws OP a bone by giving her a pity bracelet with an initial charm she bought at Michaels before OP dropped out
    • Bride has her elective gallbladder surgery and discusses the side effects, including explosive diarrhea, ad nauseum on social media
    • Bride badgers people about their RSVP before the RSVP date
    • Bride bitches on facebook about invitations and RSVPs being lost in the mail and how she is tired of people talking shit about her wedding
    • Bride is having a buffet in a hall that can seat 100 and will definitely be over capacity according to OP
    • Bride's FMIL wanted to buy bottles of wine only for tables that included her own family
    • Bride has a cash bar with one bottle white and one bottle red (both hosted) at each table
    • OP wonders if they will be 750mL or 1L bottles, but it doesn't matter because the uncorking fee is the same
    • A few posts later OP wonders if bride even knows about the uncorking fees
    • Bride post another social media blast about how shitty people treat her
    • In the same post she raves about all the loot she got at her "bridle" shower
    • Bride drops the hosted wine bottle idea because it was $50 per table ($25 per bottle) and switches to drink tickets
    • Drink tickets must have guest names on them
    • In addition to cash bar and drink tickets, guests must pay for soda and other soft drinks
    • Bachelorette party is on a Sunday at 9pm (80's night) and bride requires that people take off work the next day
    • Bride is on disability and hasn't worked for five years
    • Bride posts on facebook about her FH's colon
    • Bride issues invitations to a non-hosted continental hotel breakfast the morning after the wedding
    • Hotel tells bride they won't be able to accommodate 40+ persons for her breakfast party and bride creates drama over this on social media
    • Breakfast (which is back on by this point, apparently) is $10 per person for standard fare and an upgrade fee if you want pancakes or something
    • Bride has lost weight and wants new engagement pictures taken
    • Bride requests a family or friend donate their skills and time to take the additional photoshoot

    Do I believe the bride is real? Yes. Are there things in that list that are true? Sure, definitely. Is this bride BSC? Absolutely. Did all of the above happen exactly as OP described with no embellishing or made up tales for our entertainment (because all she ever got was praise and validation)? No, I don't think so.

    For example, the corking fees thing. If OP isn't sure that the bride knows about the corking fees, then how on earth does OP know about them? Is OP going to venue appointments? Is she the wedding planner? OP stood up to this bride and told her off and obviously doesn't like her at all, so why is she still getting involved and putting up with all the bullshit?

    Combined with the OP running scared as soon as someone questions her, I just don't buy this, sorry.

  • debbeaudebbeau member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I have known people who have done all of these things. Many of them being the same person. The OP may have thought since someone was questioning her people thought she was being mean spirited. So she decided to just drop it and move on. 
  • Honestly, IDGAF if all this is true or not. It's entertaining and that's really all I care about. Entertainment/time wasting is why I'm here.

    This is the internet. It's not like OP is my close personal friend who I think is lying. NBD. I don't need proof, I don't care. I have no personal connection to any of this. I just enjoy the entertainment.

    This exactly. I didn't get it when people started accusing Novella of making up the Brad stuff, I don't get it now. I don't see what anyone gets out of basically walking into a thread and announcing they don't believe it, especially when so little of what was being discussed is verifiable one way or the other. 

    Maybe it's all a lie, maybe it's all true, maybe it's an exaggerated version of the truth- if it's not fun for you to read something you suspect may not be 100% true, well first of all I'm not sure why you would bother to be on a forum like this in the first place but more importantly just don't read it. It adds nothing to the conversation to basically just announce you don't believe what they are saying, IMO, and it tends to have a chilling effect on the thread.
  • Seriously? I get the whole backlash to the backlash thing, sure. I'm the Grinch. Everyone is sad. I'm sorry. But clearly many people shared my skepticism and maybe hadn't wanted to say anything. I don't think "play along with all posts no matter how unbelievable or get off these forums" is a reasonable policy.
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  • This exactly. I didn't get it when people started accusing Novella of making up the Brad stuff, I don't get it now. I don't see what anyone gets out of basically walking into a thread and announcing they don't believe it, especially when so little of what was being discussed is verifiable one way or the other. 

    Maybe it's all a lie, maybe it's all true, maybe it's an exaggerated version of the truth- if it's not fun for you to read something you suspect may not be 100% true, well first of all I'm not sure why you would bother to be on a forum like this in the first place but more importantly just don't read it. It adds nothing to the conversation to basically just announce you don't believe what they are saying, IMO, and it tends to have a chilling effect on the thread.
    Well I can't speak for anyone, but with Novella, she was just annoying with her stuff. She always seemed to have some sort of dramatic story, and no matter what someone posted about, she ALWAYS had a "Me too!" story to follow it. Maybe if the Brad stuff was contained to one thread, but it got annoying when she would post multiple threads, or post in other people's threads with her dramatic crap.
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  • Seriously? I get the whole backlash to the backlash thing, sure. I'm the Grinch. Everyone is sad. I'm sorry. But clearly many people shared my skepticism and maybe hadn't wanted to say anything. I don't think "play along with all posts no matter how unbelievable or get off these forums" is a reasonable policy.
    Okay. I don't think that's the general "policy." But in instances like this, where the OP wasn't continually looking for head pats and it was contained to one thread, I don't really think it mattered whether it was real. I think it is real, but I did have a little skepticism, and decided it didn't matter. That's why I didn't say anything. You're still free to post as you wish, and there's never a guarantee to how a post affects things, but yes, it did sort of ruin the thread in this instance.
  • This exactly. I didn't get it when people started accusing Novella of making up the Brad stuff, I don't get it now. I don't see what anyone gets out of basically walking into a thread and announcing they don't believe it, especially when so little of what was being discussed is verifiable one way or the other. 

    Maybe it's all a lie, maybe it's all true, maybe it's an exaggerated version of the truth- if it's not fun for you to read something you suspect may not be 100% true, well first of all I'm not sure why you would bother to be on a forum like this in the first place but more importantly just don't read it. It adds nothing to the conversation to basically just announce you don't believe what they are saying, IMO, and it tends to have a chilling effect on the thread.
    So because this one thread that has run for 13 pages has some raised eyebrows and questions asked about whether it may be exaggerated anyone who doesn't feel like playing along shouldnt be on TK forum and shouldn't say anything because it might have a chilling effect? It's not like after comment 3 Spock shouted 'liar'. Get some perspective.
                 
  • Okay. I don't think that's the general "policy." But in instances like this, where the OP wasn't continually looking for head pats and it was contained to one thread, I don't really think it mattered whether it was real. I think it is real, but I did have a little skepticism, and decided it didn't matter. That's why I didn't say anything. You're still free to post as you wish, and there's never a guarantee to how a post affects things, but yes, it did sort of ruin the thread in this instance.
    Sorry, my quote didn't work. That was in response to the post above mine about "maybe you shouldn't be on these forums."

    OP, come back. Clearly I am in a small minority and everyone wants to hear how the wedding goes. It doesn't matter what I think. Bring back the BSC! 
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  • edited May 2016
    Seriously? I get the whole backlash to the backlash thing, sure. I'm the Grinch. Everyone is sad. I'm sorry. But clearly many people shared my skepticism and maybe hadn't wanted to say anything. I don't think "play along with all posts no matter how unbelievable or get off these forums" is a reasonable policy.
    I figured the poster was embellishing the stories. Why? I can't imagine putting up with a bride who uses her friends and family members so shamelessly. I didn't say anything because I figured it was entertaining everyone and who cares? Spock doesn't believe the story is 100% true, others believe every word of the story. It's all good. Clearly, more people believe @woodtdm, than not, so why would she take her ball and go home?
                       
  • edited May 2016
    Seriously? I get the whole backlash to the backlash thing, sure. I'm the Grinch. Everyone is sad. I'm sorry. But clearly many people shared my skepticism and maybe hadn't wanted to say anything. I don't think "play along with all posts no matter how unbelievable or get off these forums" is a reasonable policy.
    I figured the poster was embellishing the stories. I can't imagine putting up with a bride who uses her friends and family members so shamelessly. I didn't say anything because I figured it was entertaining everyone and who cares? Spock doesn't believe the story is 100% true, other believe every word of the story. It's all good. Clearly, there are more people who believe @woodtdm, than people who don't, so why would she take her ball and go home?

    edited because I messed up original post.

    @KnotHolly  @KnotRiley - this is weird. My original post didn't post completely, so I fixed it. Now there are two.
                       
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