I've spent days skipping over this thread. I'm only having my daughters in my bridal (bridle LOL) party, so I figured whatever was said wouldn't apply to me.
Then I got curious b/c there are eleventy-billion comments in here. After making it all the way through, all I can say is:
It's the morning after! I didn't go to the wedding post breakfast. It's just too far away.
It was OK. There were spots that made me a little upset because it wasn't far to the guests. The drink tickets were reduced to one per person and they could only be used after the vows. There was then a final call for drink tickets at 7:45 because there was an 8 pm expiry time? I've never heard of that.
The cocktail hour was interesting. It was very basic cut veggies, deviled eggs and some sort of weird potato salad.
The vows. This is where I almost lost my mind! I'll give a little background. Her husband's family is bilingual from Quebec, French and English, but if you live in Ontario Canada you are aware of the language debate with Ottawa and Quebec. The bride does not speak or understand any French. If the bride and groom had this planned I am stunned. The officiant made the bride say her vows in French and the groom in English. She didn't even know what she was agreeing to or what she was saying.
The buffet was OK. There was a lot of variety, but the veggies were frozen, the gravy was from a can and the salad from a bag. The head table had unlimited wine, as well as the grooms mothers table. I wonder how that happened?
Everything seemed very disjointed, and late. The wedding started at 4:30 and we didn't eat until after 7.
I don't think her dress was fitted at all. It was ripped in several places and she had to keep running to get put back into her top.
The theme finally came into play when the officiant recited the Beauty and the Beast story at the beginning of there vows, and at their first dance. Yep. The theme from Beauty and the Beast, but the father daughter dance also confused me. Stairway to Heaven??
There was only maybe 60 people there. I was only greeted by the bride when I left. The mother of the bride said absolutely nothing to me. I also got the cold shoulder from two of her bridesmaids.
I didn't make it to the bouquet toss, garter removal or cupcakes.
By the time the chips and popcorn were opened we decided to head to McDonald's.
The highlight of my night was saving a baby bird from a storm drain.
I cannot believe the bride had to say her vows in French. If they wanted to have a bilingual ceremony (with an interpreter), that's great. But making the bride say her vows in a language she doesn't speak or understand?
And "Beauty and the Beast"? How sexist is that?
The father-daughter dance to "Stairway to Heaven" sounds interesting, though.
My only question is did they dance to the entire song of Stairway to Heaven? Maybe she figured that was a way to stay in the spotlight for a longer than normal time? Ha
I'm confused about the vows. My BIL/SIL had to do their vows in French. She's Polish, he's Chilean, they both speak English, but the Priest didn't. He spoke French, and BIL is fluent, SIL gets by, so their vows were in French so that all 3 people involved could understand what they were agreeing to, and that the vows were stated correctly. BIL wasn't allowed to say it in Polish, for example, cos he wouldn't understand it. That said, I'm assuming the couple picked their officiant, so they could have made that decision before hand.
Yeah having a bilingual ceremony is fine but why would their languages be reversed?? Did she have to repeat the officiant or just respond "oui"? I can't imagine how awkward it would be to listen to someone just parrot back the sounds as best they could. Especially for something as significant as wedding vows!
One drink ticket per person and one bottle of wine per table seems especially cheap when you consider there were only 60 guests
No wine for any table but the head table and MIL table. They picked the officiant and I'm not sure if she knew or agreed to her vows being n French. She was so confused at one point and the officiant just told her to say "yes". I was floored. The father daughter dance was the 7 minute version and you can tell they didn't practice before hand. They kind of ended up doing an impromptu weird fast dance at the end like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing.
1. Beauty and the Beast was her idea right? I feel like you talked about that earlier 2. How did the runner up BM look in your dress?3. What the hell did you do between 5ish and 7? I'm guessing cocktail hour went till 6 and then went? An hour of speeches? 4. Any Facebook posts since?
It's the morning after! I didn't go to the wedding post breakfast. It's just too far away.
It was OK. There were spots that made me a little upset because it wasn't far to the guests. The drink tickets were reduced to one per person and they could only be used after the vows. There was then a final call for drink tickets at 7:45 because there was an 8 pm expiry time? I've never heard of that.
The cocktail hour was interesting. It was very basic cut veggies, deviled eggs and some sort of weird potato salad.
The vows. This is where I almost lost my mind! I'll give a little background. Her husband's family is bilingual from Quebec, French and English, but if you live in Ontario Canada you are aware of the language debate with Ottawa and Quebec. The bride does not speak or understand any French. If the bride and groom had this planned I am stunned. The officiant made the bride say her vows in French and the groom in English. She didn't even know what she was agreeing to or what she was saying.
The buffet was OK. There was a lot of variety, but the veggies were frozen, the gravy was from a can and the salad from a bag. The head table had unlimited wine, as well as the grooms mothers table. I wonder how that happened?
Everything seemed very disjointed, and late. The wedding started at 4:30 and we didn't eat until after 7.
I don't think her dress was fitted at all. It was ripped in several places and she had to keep running to get put back into her top.
The theme finally came into play when the officiant recited the Beauty and the Beast story at the beginning of there vows, and at their first dance. Yep. The theme from Beauty and the Beast, but the father daughter dance also confused me. Stairway to Heaven??
There was only maybe 60 people there. I was only greeted by the bride when I left. The mother of the bride said absolutely nothing to me. I also got the cold shoulder from two of her bridesmaids.
I didn't make it to the bouquet toss, garter removal or cupcakes.
By the time the chips and popcorn were opened we decided to head to McDonald's.
The highlight of my night was saving a baby bird from a storm drain.
Re the vows: Did the bride grow up in Canada? I could probably get by on my French classes from school if I had to do this and knew beforehand. But, that is still super weird. How can it be ok to not understand what you're agreeing to?
Re the vows: Did the bride grow up in Canada? I could probably get by on my French classes from school if I had to do this and knew beforehand. But, that is still super weird. How can it be ok to not understand what you're agreeing to?
This whole vow thing is crazy to me. I learned French in school (being Canadian as well) and I would not understand the vocabulary, nor beyond saying, "Oui". I don't even know how to say, "I do" or "I will". What is more weird, why not have the groom speak in French and the Bride speak in English?? Did they not go over this with the officiant prior?
Re the vows: Did the bride grow up in Canada? I could probably get by on my French classes from school if I had to do this and knew beforehand. But, that is still super weird. How can it be ok to not understand what you're agreeing to?
This whole vow thing is crazy to me. I learned French in school (being Canadian as well) and I would not understand the vocabulary, nor beyond saying, "Oui". I don't even know how to say, "I do" or "I will". What is more weird, why not have the groom speak in French and the Bride speak in English?? Did they not go over this with the officiant prior?
It seems that way. If they had, wouldn't she have taken the time to understand the vows she was making? Either way it's still crazy.
No wine for any table but the head table and MIL table. They picked the officiant and I'm not sure if she knew or agreed to her vows being n French. She was so confused at one point and the officiant just told her to say "yes". I was floored. The father daughter dance was the 7 minute version and you can tell they didn't practice before hand. They kind of ended up doing an impromptu weird fast dance at the end like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing.
To me, that would be as crazy as signing a contract, written in a language I didn't understand.
Thanks for the update!
Although she largely brought it on herself, I almost feel bad for her. All the ill-will between her and some of her friends/family. All the worrying so much about costs that she short changes her guests. All the constant fretting and worrying that she seemed to have.
It was sad I am very happy for her and her husband.
She decided to do her vows in a language she doesn't understand to show her in-laws that she respects them. I told her they were her sacred vows to her husband and she has nothing to prove to them.
For all of her craziness the hall was incredibly plain. All white with some fake roses in a tea pot. I would have understood her bridezilla attitude a little more if she was dealing with all sorts of caterers, florists and bakers, but for what it actually was there was no need to treat her family and friends the way she did.
It was literally cut up veggies, potato salad and devil eggs that her Mom made the night before for the cocktail hour and bags of chips for the midnight buffet. Her cake (cupcakes) was made by a friend who just charged her for the supplies.
All I can say is that she was able to have everything paid in full by the donations from her friends and family as well as having her honeymoon covered as well.
Nothing scandalous was posted on social media. Just the typical pictures of her getting ready, and some bridle (haha! I had to) party pictures. She sent me a message thanking me for my gift. It was several small gifts from her registry, but she neglected to thank my FI. I wonder if she will be sending out thank you cards.
She and her husband still have an invite to my wedding, and I will see them over the summer at the family reunion and BBQ's.
No wine for any table but the head table and MIL table. They picked the officiant and I'm not sure if she knew or agreed to her vows being n French. She was so confused at one point and the officiant just told her to say "yes". I was floored. The father daughter dance was the 7 minute version and you can tell they didn't practice before hand. They kind of ended up doing an impromptu weird fast dance at the end like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing.
I just cannot see how one would do that to their guests? I mean, they each got a drink ticket so in her eyes, I'm sure that balanced everything out. I don't recall, but was it cash bar after your drink ticket was used?
One drink ticket that was only valid between 5:30 - 8pm and the rest was cash. Only the tap water was provided for free and you had to specify that is what you wanted otherwise you would have been charged for a bottle of water.
No wine for any table but the head table and MIL table. They picked the officiant and I'm not sure if she knew or agreed to her vows being n French. She was so confused at one point and the officiant just told her to say "yes". I was floored. The father daughter dance was the 7 minute version and you can tell they didn't practice before hand. They kind of ended up doing an impromptu weird fast dance at the end like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing.
To me, that would be as crazy as signing a contract, written in a language I didn't understand.
Thanks for the update!
Although she largely brought it on herself, I almost feel bad for her. All the ill-will between her and some of her friends/family. All the worrying so much about costs that she short changes her guests. All the constant fretting and worrying that she seemed to have.
And then there are only 60 guests anyway.
It is a contract...I'm questioning whether or not it's legal. They may not be married after all this.
No wine for any table but the head table and MIL table. They picked the officiant and I'm not sure if she knew or agreed to her vows being n French. She was so confused at one point and the officiant just told her to say "yes". I was floored. The father daughter dance was the 7 minute version and you can tell they didn't practice before hand. They kind of ended up doing an impromptu weird fast dance at the end like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing.
To me, that would be as crazy as signing a contract, written in a language I didn't understand.
Thanks for the update!
Although she largely brought it on herself, I almost feel bad for her. All the ill-will between her and some of her friends/family. All the worrying so much about costs that she short changes her guests. All the constant fretting and worrying that she seemed to have.
And then there are only 60 guests anyway.
It is a contract...I'm questioning whether or not it's legal. They may not be married after all this.
Also from Canada, so the laws may be different (don't even know if this is a law or not), but aren't you still bound by a contract you (under your own volition) signed, whether you understood it or not? Like if I sign a cellphone contract (or credit card etc) and I don't read the entire thing, or don't really understand the terms, is it not still on me? I thought it was, and would assume this would be the same.
Obviously, this doesn't apply to everyone. There was something in the news awhile back about a severely developmentally delayed 18+ woman being pressured into signing a big expensive cellphone contract. When her mother found out (don't know the right word if you're over 18 but not able to legally make decisions on your own - for lack of word her mother was her guardian) and her mother was able to get her out of it. Now maybe it wasn't because of legal ramifications, maybe it was because her mom brought it to CBC news and the company let her out of it to avoid bad publicity.
tl;dr - isn't it on the person to understand the contract? If you don't understand and still sign, isn't it still legal and your own fault?
No wine for any table but the head table and MIL table. They picked the officiant and I'm not sure if she knew or agreed to her vows being n French. She was so confused at one point and the officiant just told her to say "yes". I was floored. The father daughter dance was the 7 minute version and you can tell they didn't practice before hand. They kind of ended up doing an impromptu weird fast dance at the end like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing.
To me, that would be as crazy as signing a contract, written in a language I didn't understand.
Thanks for the update!
Although she largely brought it on herself, I almost feel bad for her. All the ill-will between her and some of her friends/family. All the worrying so much about costs that she short changes her guests. All the constant fretting and worrying that she seemed to have.
And then there are only 60 guests anyway.
It is a contract...I'm questioning whether or not it's legal. They may not be married after all this.
Also from Canada, so the laws may be different (don't even know if this is a law or not), but aren't you still bound by a contract you (under your own volition) signed, whether you understood it or not? Like if I sign a cellphone contract (or credit card etc) and I don't read the entire thing, or don't really understand the terms, is it not still on me? I thought it was, and would assume this would be the same.
Obviously, this doesn't apply to everyone. There was something in the news awhile back about a severely developmentally delayed 18+ woman being pressured into signing a big expensive cellphone contract. When her mother found out (don't know the right word if you're over 18 but not able to legally make decisions on your own - for lack of word her mother was her guardian) and her mother was able to get her out of it. Now maybe it wasn't because of legal ramifications, maybe it was because her mom brought it to CBC news and the company let her out of it to avoid bad publicity.
tl;dr - isn't it on the person to understand the contract? If you don't understand and still sign, isn't it still legal and your own fault?
Yes. If you freely sign or agree to a contract you don't understand, it's still binding. Duress is a defense to contract enforceability. (And would need to be affirmatively raised and proven by the wronged party.) Bride would have a pretty hard time arguing that she was duped into marriage.
But I think PP was just being snarky. I don't think anyone really questions the legality of strange vows. If so, there's be thousands of couples that wouldn't be married because their "vows" were not really vows at all.
No wine for any table but the head table and MIL table. They picked the officiant and I'm not sure if she knew or agreed to her vows being n French. She was so confused at one point and the officiant just told her to say "yes". I was floored. The father daughter dance was the 7 minute version and you can tell they didn't practice before hand. They kind of ended up doing an impromptu weird fast dance at the end like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing.
To me, that would be as crazy as signing a contract, written in a language I didn't understand.
Thanks for the update!
Although she largely brought it on herself, I almost feel bad for her. All the ill-will between her and some of her friends/family. All the worrying so much about costs that she short changes her guests. All the constant fretting and worrying that she seemed to have.
And then there are only 60 guests anyway.
It is a contract...I'm questioning whether or not it's legal. They may not be married after all this.
Also from Canada, so the laws may be different (don't even know if this is a law or not), but aren't you still bound by a contract you (under your own volition) signed, whether you understood it or not? Like if I sign a cellphone contract (or credit card etc) and I don't read the entire thing, or don't really understand the terms, is it not still on me? I thought it was, and would assume this would be the same.
Obviously, this doesn't apply to everyone. There was something in the news awhile back about a severely developmentally delayed 18+ woman being pressured into signing a big expensive cellphone contract. When her mother found out (don't know the right word if you're over 18 but not able to legally make decisions on your own - for lack of word her mother was her guardian) and her mother was able to get her out of it. Now maybe it wasn't because of legal ramifications, maybe it was because her mom brought it to CBC news and the company let her out of it to avoid bad publicity.
tl;dr - isn't it on the person to understand the contract? If you don't understand and still sign, isn't it still legal and your own fault?
Yes. If you freely sign or agree to a contract you don't understand, it's still binding. Duress is a defense to contract enforceability. (And would need to be affirmatively raised and proven by the wronged party.) Bride would have a pretty hard time arguing that she was duped into marriage.
But I think PP was just being snarky. I don't think anyone really questions the legality of strange vows. If so, there's be thousands of couples that wouldn't be married because their "vows" were not really vows at all.
Not Canadian, but in my state you file for your licence and after that you don't even need to say vows. The officiant merely needs to declare you married. Your intent was consented when applying for your licence. So it wouldn't matter what language the ceremony used. This is (in my state at least) the officiant never says "I now declare You husband and wife" at the rehearsal, bc you would then be married legally.
Re: Bridesmaids financial responsibilities
It was OK. There were spots that made me a little upset because it wasn't far to the guests. The drink tickets were reduced to one per person and they could only be used after the vows. There was then a final call for drink tickets at 7:45 because there was an 8 pm expiry time? I've never heard of that.
The cocktail hour was interesting. It was very basic cut veggies, deviled eggs and some sort of weird potato salad.
The vows. This is where I almost lost my mind! I'll give a little background. Her husband's family is bilingual from Quebec, French and English, but if you live in Ontario Canada you are aware of the language debate with Ottawa and Quebec. The bride does not speak or understand any French. If the bride and groom had this planned I am stunned. The officiant made the bride say her vows in French and the groom in English. She didn't even know what she was agreeing to or what she was saying.
The buffet was OK. There was a lot of variety, but the veggies were frozen, the gravy was from a can and the salad from a bag. The head table had unlimited wine, as well as the grooms mothers table. I wonder how that happened?
Everything seemed very disjointed, and late. The wedding started at 4:30 and we didn't eat until after 7.
I don't think her dress was fitted at all. It was ripped in several places and she had to keep running to get put back into her top.
The theme finally came into play when the officiant recited the Beauty and the Beast story at the beginning of there vows, and at their first dance. Yep. The theme from Beauty and the Beast, but the father daughter dance also confused me. Stairway to Heaven??
There was only maybe 60 people there. I was only greeted by the bride when I left. The mother of the bride said absolutely nothing to me. I also got the cold shoulder from two of her bridesmaids.
I didn't make it to the bouquet toss, garter removal or cupcakes.
By the time the chips and popcorn were opened we decided to head to McDonald's.
The highlight of my night was saving a baby bird from a storm drain.
It sounds like the bride was probably as disappointed as the guests (torn gown, low turnout, vows...). I hope she learned a lesson from all this.
I somehow doubt it.
And "Beauty and the Beast"? How sexist is that?
The father-daughter dance to "Stairway to Heaven" sounds interesting, though.
Yay to saving the baby bird!
One drink ticket per person and one bottle of wine per table seems especially cheap when you consider there were only 60 guests
1. Beauty and the Beast was her idea right? I feel like you talked about that earlier
2. How did the runner up BM look in your dress?3. What the hell did you do between 5ish and 7? I'm guessing cocktail hour went till 6 and then went? An hour of speeches?
4. Any Facebook posts since?
This whole vow thing is crazy to me. I learned French in school (being Canadian as well) and I would not understand the vocabulary, nor beyond saying, "Oui". I don't even know how to say, "I do" or "I will". What is more weird, why not have the groom speak in French and the Bride speak in English?? Did they not go over this with the officiant prior?
To me, that would be as crazy as signing a contract, written in a language I didn't understand.
Thanks for the update!
Although she largely brought it on herself, I almost feel bad for her. All the ill-will between her and some of her friends/family. All the worrying so much about costs that she short changes her guests. All the constant fretting and worrying that she seemed to have.
And then there are only 60 guests anyway.
Still a good read
It was sad
I am very happy for her and her husband.
She decided to do her vows in a language she doesn't understand to show her in-laws that she respects them. I told her they were her sacred vows to her husband and she has nothing to prove to them.
For all of her craziness the hall was incredibly plain. All white with some fake roses in a tea pot. I would have understood her bridezilla attitude a little more if she was dealing with all sorts of caterers, florists and bakers, but for what it actually was there was no need to treat her family and friends the way she did.
It was literally cut up veggies, potato salad and devil eggs that her Mom made the night before for the cocktail hour and bags of chips for the midnight buffet. Her cake (cupcakes) was made by a friend who just charged her for the supplies.
All I can say is that she was able to have everything paid in full by the donations from her friends and family as well as having her honeymoon covered as well.
Nothing scandalous was posted on social media. Just the typical pictures of her getting ready, and some bridle (haha! I had to) party pictures. She sent me a message thanking me for my gift. It was several small gifts from her registry, but she neglected to thank my FI. I wonder if she will be sending out thank you cards.
She and her husband still have an invite to my wedding, and I will see them over the summer at the family reunion and BBQ's.
I really wish her all the best
Obviously, this doesn't apply to everyone. There was something in the news awhile back about a severely developmentally delayed 18+ woman being pressured into signing a big expensive cellphone contract. When her mother found out (don't know the right word if you're over 18 but not able to legally make decisions on your own - for lack of word her mother was her guardian) and her mother was able to get her out of it. Now maybe it wasn't because of legal ramifications, maybe it was because her mom brought it to CBC news and the company let her out of it to avoid bad publicity.
tl;dr - isn't it on the person to understand the contract? If you don't understand and still sign, isn't it still legal and your own fault?
But I think PP was just being snarky. I don't think anyone really questions the legality of strange vows. If so, there's be thousands of couples that wouldn't be married because their "vows" were not really vows at all.