Wedding Etiquette Forum

Cake and Punch Reception

124

Re: Cake and Punch Reception

  • I personally can't see the harm in stating what hospitality you are offering on your website (not on the invites) along with the schedule so guests know what to expect?

    Saying that in my family it is expected that a full meal will be offered regardless of the time of day, as receptions in Scotland tend to be longer than in the USA.
    OurWildKingdom
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I personally can't see the harm in stating what hospitality you are offering on your website (not on the invites) along with the schedule so guests know what to expect?

    Saying that in my family it is expected that a full meal will be offered regardless of the time of day, as receptions in Scotland tend to be longer than in the USA.
    How long?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I personally can't see the harm in stating what hospitality you are offering on your website (not on the invites) along with the schedule so guests know what to expect?

    Saying that in my family it is expected that a full meal will be offered regardless of the time of day, as receptions in Scotland tend to be longer than in the USA.
    How long?
    From what I've seen on here it does seem like in the US there might be a tendancy towards shorter receptions, but I don't actually know. I'd say most weddings I would go to in Scotland and the UK might start around say, 12.30/1pm. The reception would almost certainly still go on till about midnight, if not 1am depending on the venue. No gaps or anything, but so much food and booze (and dancing!). My wedding will be slightly shorter (3pm - 1am), but from my exeprience that's actually a later start than most.
                 
    ScottishSarahscrunchythief
  • I personally can't see the harm in stating what hospitality you are offering on your website (not on the invites) along with the schedule so guests know what to expect?

    Saying that in my family it is expected that a full meal will be offered regardless of the time of day, as receptions in Scotland tend to be longer than in the USA.
    How long?
    @PrettyGirlLost receptions in the UK and Scotland typically exceed 10 hours.

    Many start at 1pm-2pm (or sometimes even earlier!) and go on till around midnight or 1am.

    The length of these receptions normally leads to an incredibly boring bit of 'hanging around' after the wedding meal and the party starting, it's a nightmare!  

    I am considered by my vendors to be having a very short reception, with ceremony at 3pm, finishing with band's last song at 11.30pm but I think that is still longer than most USA receptions?
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I personally can't see the harm in stating what hospitality you are offering on your website (not on the invites) along with the schedule so guests know what to expect?

    Saying that in my family it is expected that a full meal will be offered regardless of the time of day, as receptions in Scotland tend to be longer than in the USA.
    How long?
    @PrettyGirlLost receptions in the UK and Scotland typically exceed 10 hours.

    Many start at 1pm-2pm (or sometimes even earlier!) and go on till around midnight or 1am.

    The length of these receptions normally leads to an incredibly boring bit of 'hanging around' after the wedding meal and the party starting, it's a nightmare!  

    I am considered by my vendors to be having a very short reception, with ceremony at 3pm, finishing with band's last song at 11.30pm but I think that is still longer than most USA receptions?
    This is not an unusual time line for the USA. The time of the ceremony drives the total length. 11:30-1:00 is a typical time for the reception to end so if the ceremony starts earlier the total time is longer and shorter if the ceremony is later. I would venture to say that non-Catholic ceremonies tend to start later  (after 3:00) while Catholic ceremonies are earlier in the afternoon.
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I personally can't see the harm in stating what hospitality you are offering on your website (not on the invites) along with the schedule so guests know what to expect?

    Saying that in my family it is expected that a full meal will be offered regardless of the time of day, as receptions in Scotland tend to be longer than in the USA.
    How long?
    @PrettyGirlLost receptions in the UK and Scotland typically exceed 10 hours.

    Many start at 1pm-2pm (or sometimes even earlier!) and go on till around midnight or 1am.

    The length of these receptions normally leads to an incredibly boring bit of 'hanging around' after the wedding meal and the party starting, it's a nightmare!  

    I am considered by my vendors to be having a very short reception, with ceremony at 3pm, finishing with band's last song at 11.30pm but I think that is still longer than most USA receptions?
    This is not an unusual time line for the USA. The time of the ceremony drives the total length. 11:30-1:00 is a typical time for the reception to end so if the ceremony starts earlier the total time is longer and shorter if the ceremony is later. I would venture to say that non-Catholic ceremonies tend to start later  (after 3:00) while Catholic ceremonies are earlier in the afternoon.
    I have to disagree. I've never been to a wedding that was more than 10 hours. Typically they are 8 hours total. The only times I've been to ones that start before 3pm and go until midnight, they have had a gap. I've been to weddings where we went to a bar after, but I don't consider a venue change to a non hosted situation to be part of the actual wedding reception.

     I guess this could actually be a regional thing...unlike most things SS claim are regional when they are just rude.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    holyguacamole79poodledoodleooo
  • I personally can't see the harm in stating what hospitality you are offering on your website (not on the invites) along with the schedule so guests know what to expect?

    Saying that in my family it is expected that a full meal will be offered regardless of the time of day, as receptions in Scotland tend to be longer than in the USA.
    How long?
    @PrettyGirlLost receptions in the UK and Scotland typically exceed 10 hours.

    Many start at 1pm-2pm (or sometimes even earlier!) and go on till around midnight or 1am.

    The length of these receptions normally leads to an incredibly boring bit of 'hanging around' after the wedding meal and the party starting, it's a nightmare!  

    I am considered by my vendors to be having a very short reception, with ceremony at 3pm, finishing with band's last song at 11.30pm but I think that is still longer than most USA receptions?
    This is not an unusual time line for the USA. The time of the ceremony drives the total length. 11:30-1:00 is a typical time for the reception to end so if the ceremony starts earlier the total time is longer and shorter if the ceremony is later. I would venture to say that non-Catholic ceremonies tend to start later  (after 3:00) while Catholic ceremonies are earlier in the afternoon.
    I have to disagree. I've never been to a wedding that was more than 10 hours. Typically they are 8 hours total. The only times I've been to ones that start before 3pm and go until midnight, they have had a gap. I've been to weddings where we went to a bar after, but I don't consider a venue change to a non hosted situation to be part of the actual wedding reception.

     I guess this could actually be a regional thing...unlike most things SS claim are regional when they are just rude.
    You see round here we never have after parties.
  • Lots of strange reactions about amount of food/being full on the boards this week...


    scrunchythiefMairePoppylyndausvi
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2016
    I personally can't see the harm in stating what hospitality you are offering on your website (not on the invites) along with the schedule so guests know what to expect?

    Saying that in my family it is expected that a full meal will be offered regardless of the time of day, as receptions in Scotland tend to be longer than in the USA.
    How long?
    @PrettyGirlLost receptions in the UK and Scotland typically exceed 10 hours.

    Many start at 1pm-2pm (or sometimes even earlier!) and go on till around midnight or 1am.

    The length of these receptions normally leads to an incredibly boring bit of 'hanging around' after the wedding meal and the party starting, it's a nightmare!  

    I am considered by my vendors to be having a very short reception, with ceremony at 3pm, finishing with band's last song at 11.30pm but I think that is still longer than most USA receptions?
    This is not an unusual time line for the USA. The time of the ceremony drives the total length. 11:30-1:00 is a typical time for the reception to end so if the ceremony starts earlier the total time is longer and shorter if the ceremony is later. I would venture to say that non-Catholic ceremonies tend to start later  (after 3:00) while Catholic ceremonies are earlier in the afternoon.
    I have to disagree. I've never been to a wedding that was more than 10 hours. Typically they are 8 hours total. The only times I've been to ones that start before 3pm and go until midnight, they have had a gap. I've been to weddings where we went to a bar after, but I don't consider a venue change to a non hosted situation to be part of the actual wedding reception.

     I guess this could actually be a regional thing...unlike most things SS claim are regional when they are just rude.
    You see round here we never have after parties.
    Interesting. Yeah, if I go to a ceremony between noon and 2pm, and the party ends at 10pm to 12am, that means there was an unhosted gap. Blah!

    So just thinking of a 12 noon to 12am reception makes my inner introvert want to go crawl back into bed.

    ETA: We got married at 6pm and the reception was 6:30pm to midnight. That was plenty! People ate a lot and got drunk and danced. Don't need an entire day to have fun.  
    ________________________________


    madamerwinOurWildKingdom
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2016
    I personally can't see the harm in stating what hospitality you are offering on your website (not on the invites) along with the schedule so guests know what to expect?

    Saying that in my family it is expected that a full meal will be offered regardless of the time of day, as receptions in Scotland tend to be longer than in the USA.
    How long?
    From what I've seen on here it does seem like in the US there might be a tendancy towards shorter receptions, but I don't actually know. I'd say most weddings I would go to in Scotland and the UK might start around say, 12.30/1pm. The reception would almost certainly still go on till about midnight, if not 1am depending on the venue. No gaps or anything, but so much food and booze (and dancing!). My wedding will be slightly shorter (3pm - 1am), but from my exeprience that's actually a later start than most.
    That's a common timeline in my circle.  Receptions are at least 5 hours long typically, many more like 6.  Then sometimes there's an after party.

    I think my ceremony was at 3pm, the reception went until 11pm, and then we were supposed to be able to continue hanging out and drinking in the bar but we drank the venue dry so they had to close!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    lnixon8 said:
    Lots of strange reactions about amount of food/being full on the boards this week...
    Oh?  Should I go over to Receptions and the Food boards?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    OurWildKingdom
  • Yeah, most banquet halls here (US) offer a five hour reception as the typical package. Add in ceremony time and that puts most weddings at around 6 hours (assuming no gap).
  • Our reception was slotted for 5 hours and we payed for a 6th so there was no departure issue at 9 with guests wondering where the after party would be.   

    It was a 2 PM ceremony with a 4 PM reception (between a long-winded priest, rec. line and 20 min drive, there was no gap) and then we had a 6 hour reception.

    If it went to midnight we wouldn't have had a lot of guests left. 

    But I think that's the norm for the area.   

    I have heard of other cultures where longer is typical. 
  • The area where I grew up it was typical to have an early afternoon wedding then the reception would start with a receiving line at the venue. The early part of the reception was fairly quiet with people talking, eating snacky food, and maybe some card playing would get going. Then dinner and cake during which the band would be setting up, and then dancing and more snacky food until about 11pm or midnight. As a kid that quiet time seemed very long.
  • LD1970LD1970 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2016
    In north Jersey & NYC/Long Island, I've never been to a cake and punch reception or even a brunch reception, no matter what time of day the wedding was held, so I'd never be surprised by the full, formal deal, and in fact always expect an actual meal, just based on my own experience.  Mine was:

    Ceremony 11:30 a.m. - noon
    Cocktail Hour 12-1 p.m. with hot & cold buffet, passed hors d'oeuvres, and carving stations
    5-course sit down dinner 1-5 p.m.

    Then we did an afterparty at the hotel bar next door.

    The only different sort of wedding I've ever been to was my best friend's, in Nebraska, when they had cold cut platters in the church basement after the ceremony.  I was surprised, but not in any way bothered by it.  Sandwiches are fine for me as a meal.

    I never heard of a cake & punch reception until TK.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    LD1970 said:
    In north Jersey & NYC/Long Island, I've never been to a cake and punch reception or even a brunch reception, no matter what time of day the wedding was held, so I'd never be surprised by the full, formal deal, and in fact always expect an actual meal, just based on my own experience.  Mine was:

    Ceremony 11:30 a.m. - noon
    Cocktail Hour 12-1 p.m. with hot & cold buffet, passed hors d'oeuvres, and carving stations
    5-course sit down dinner 1-5 p.m.

    Then we did an afterparty at the hotel bar next door.

    The only different sort of wedding I've ever been to was my best friend's, in Nebraska, when they had cold cut platters in the church basement after the ceremony.  I was surprised, but not in any way bothered by it.  Sandwiches are fine for me as a meal.

    I never heard of a cake & punch reception until TK.
    I don't know when sit down dinners came into fashion for middle class weddings but I know every wedding I attended as a child/teenager ('60s and 70s) was a cake and punch reception. I'm sure for high society they (dinners) were always done.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I don't know when sit down dinners came into fashion for middle class weddings but I know every wedding I attended as a child/teenager ('60s and 70s) was a cake and punch reception. I'm sure for high society they (dinners) were always done.
    Nope. Most of my family isn't high society and we had full dinner receptions in the '60s and 70's. Some cousins had buffets. One cousin who thought she was high society had full mass, gap, evening reception - back in the '70s. Her mother made the rounds before the wedding to let everyone know how much it was costing per person so that everyone would cover their plate. The family wasn't too impressed with that cousin and her parents.

                       
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Our reception was 8 hours. I'm used to 6-8 hour evening receptions. The length of the reception has not correlated to gap or no gap.

    I have heard of cake and punch receptions, but never attended one.
    LondonLisapoodledoodleooo
  • I had never heard of a cake and punch wedding before joining TK. My understanding is that these were never part of Jewish culture. When the older members say "this is what was traditional in the 60's and 70's" they are clearly only referring to one culture (white, western, christian)
    OurWildKingdomscrunchythief
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I don't know when sit down dinners came into fashion for middle class weddings but I know every wedding I attended as a child/teenager ('60s and 70s) was a cake and punch reception. I'm sure for high society they (dinners) were always done.
    Nope. Most of my family isn't high society and we had full dinner receptions in the '60s and 70's. Some cousins had buffets. One cousin who thought she was high society had full mass, gap, evening reception - back in the '70s. Her mother made the rounds before the wedding to let everyone know how much it was costing per person so that everyone would cover their plate. The family wasn't too impressed with that cousin and her parents.

    OK I said I didn't know. All I know is where I grew up I never heard of a full dinner reception until I was in college. I guess it depends on where you were raised or maybe the church. I was raised in a protestant church in a very protestant area so maybe that was it.
    MairePoppy
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I had never heard of a cake and punch wedding before joining TK. My understanding is that these were never part of Jewish culture. When the older members say "this is what was traditional in the 60's and 70's" they are clearly only referring to one culture (white, western, christian)
    I never said it was the only tradition. I said I (which means in my albeit limited experience) never attended a dinner reception when I was a child/teenager. You are correct though, I was raised in a primarily white, Christian, culture.
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited June 2016
    banana468 said:
    My parents were some of the first in my mom's family to have a reception in a hall.   But there was always plenty of food.  And booze.   

    Irish Catholics don't go hungry or dry.  
    I concur -- I grew up Irish-German Catholic! Any time you show up at any of my relatives' houses, you get fed, and now I'm the one overfeeding my guests.

    I'm the odd one out having a dry wedding, but my family understands why and respects it.
    PrettyGirlLostSP29
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