Alcohol

Re: Alcohol

• DrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member

  

  June 2016

  http://www.thealcoholcalculator.com/
  
  
  

  

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• kimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member

  

  June 2016

  Knottie0682519 said:

  I am having around 230 people are my reception. We are paying for beer and wine and if the guests want a mixed drink they will have to pay for that themselves. I was wondering how many kegs and 1.5L of wine would you suggest getting?
  
  Thanks
  

  
  First and foremost, your reception is a thank you to your guests for attending your ceremony.  With that said, it is very rude to ask your guests to pay for their thank you.  It is perfectly acceptable to have a beer and wine only bar available.  If you'd like, you can add a signature drink for the alcohol drinkers. 
  
  Beer is a know your crowd kind of thing; I'd get 2, one light basic beer like Coors and one craft.  But my crowd loves craft beer.  The amount of alcohol is fairly subjective; my family consists mainly of large men who can drink.    Either way, I'd round up from what any calculator tells you. 
  
  According to Kegerators that is 12 kegs and according to Total Wines calculator that is 68 bottles of wine.  I used 230 for total count for both calculators and used 6 drinks per guest so this is probably on the high side.  Unless you're related to me, then it's a goal.

  
  

  

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• JaxInBlue member

  

  June 2016 edited June 2016

  What @kimmiinthemitten said.
  
  It's absolutely okay to only have beer and wine (we did) or to offer beer, wine and a signature cocktail (or two).  It's not okay to charge for some things over others.
  
  If this is a venue "thing" as in your venue won't fully breakdown your bar to only have the selections you host, you need to push back on that.
  
  ETA: spelling is hard
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• glasgowtolondon member

  

  June 2016

  So you are having a partial cash bar, yes?

               

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• AddieCake Beyond the Wall member

  

  June 2016

  Please don't have a cash bar or partial cash bar. Limited bar is perfectly fine.
  
  Would you invite someone to your home for dinner, offer them iced tea for free but charge them for a soda? No? Then why would you do something like that at your wedding? 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  

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• DrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member

  

  June 2016

  AddieCake said:

  Please don't have a cash bar or partial cash bar. Limited bar is perfectly fine.
  
  Would you invite someone to your home for dinner, offer them iced tea for free but charge them for a soda? No? Then why would you do something like that at your wedding? 

  I should stop doing this. I also charge if they want sweetener for their tea. Is this also wrong?

  

  

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• geebee908 member

  

  June 2016

  DrillSergeantCat said:

  AddieCake said:

  Please don't have a cash bar or partial cash bar. Limited bar is perfectly fine.
  
  Would you invite someone to your home for dinner, offer them iced tea for free but charge them for a soda? No? Then why would you do something like that at your wedding? 

  I should stop doing this. I also charge if they want sweetener for their tea. Is this also wrong?

  I really wish TK hadn't taken away the sarcasm font. @DrillSergeantCat could definitely become proficient with it.
  

  

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• DrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member

  

  June 2016

  geebee908 said:

  DrillSergeantCat said:

  AddieCake said:

  Please don't have a cash bar or partial cash bar. Limited bar is perfectly fine.
  
  Would you invite someone to your home for dinner, offer them iced tea for free but charge them for a soda? No? Then why would you do something like that at your wedding? 

  I should stop doing this. I also charge if they want sweetener for their tea. Is this also wrong?

  I really wish TK hadn't taken away the sarcasm font. @DrillSergeantCat could definitely become proficient with it.
  

    What??
  

  

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• Knottie0682519 member

  

  June 2016

  I have yet to find a money tree growing in my backyard so cutting out the cost for liquor was the more reasonable thing to remove. I have been to plenty of receptions that have the guest pay for the mixed drinks, since people can get out of hand with liquor. I have never thought that to be rude or distasteful. It's like the dollar dance, if you do not want to pay a dollar to dance with the bride or groom then you don't have to, same with the liquor, you don't have to purchase them if you do not want to.
  

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• DrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member

  

  June 2016

  

  

  

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• DrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member

  

  June 2016

  Knottie0682519 said:

  I have yet to find a money tree growing in my backyard so cutting out the cost for liquor was the more reasonable thing to remove. I have been to plenty of receptions that have the guest pay for the mixed drinks, since people can get out of hand with liquor. I have never thought that to be rude or distasteful. It's like the dollar dance, if you do not want to pay a dollar to dance with the bride or groom then you don't have to, same with the liquor, you don't have to purchase them if you do not want to.
  

  You got great advice to offer a limited selection. Beer and wine are fine. Do not ask people to open their wallets. 

  

  

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• glasgowtolondon member

  

  June 2016

  My money tree hasn't had a good summer, so I won't be offering what I can't afford.

               

  

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• AddieCake Beyond the Wall member

  

  June 2016 edited June 2016

  So because you've seen it done, it's ok? 
  
  Sigh. Again, money is not a valid explanation. Nobody said ZOMG YOU HAVE TO HAVE A FULL OPEN BAR FOR EVERYONE!!!! Limited bar is perfectly acceptable. 
  
  And @DrillSergeantCat Heck yeah, you should be charging for sweetener. Who do your guests think they are, anyway?! You aren't made of money! Bastards.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  

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• AddieCake Beyond the Wall member

  

  June 2016

  And ugh. Now there's potential for a dollar dance, too?

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• glasgowtolondon member

  

  June 2016

  What are your plans for soft drinks?
  
  You absolutely don't need to provide anything other than beer and wine, hell you don't even need to have alcohol since a dry wedding is perfectly acceptable. Why do you feel that you need to offer more than you can afford?

               

  

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• DrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member

  

  June 2016 edited June 2016

  AddieCake said:

  And ugh. Now there's potential for a dollar dance, too?

  It's always been my dream to be treated like a prostitute on my wedding day. 

  

  

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• Knottie0682519 member

  

  June 2016

  Unlimited pop, coffee and hot chocolate is available to all guests.  The liquor is an ala cart option on our alcohol package and the groom and I didn't think it was a necessity. Guests can purchase a mixed drink if they want, but we will only be buying beer and wine for alcohol.
  

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• Knottie0682519 member

  

  June 2016

  Never said there was going to be a dollar dance. 

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• DrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member

  

  June 2016

  Knottie0682519 said:

  Unlimited pop, coffee and hot chocolate is available to all guests.  The liquor is an ala cart option on our alcohol package and the groom and I didn't think it was a necessity. Guests can purchase a mixed drink if they want, but we will only be buying beer and wine for alcohol.
  

  That is seriously enough. You are not required to provide any alcohol at all and it's rather generous of you to offer what you're already offering. Most venues don't take cards and most people don't carry cash, so how are you going to let people know it's a cash bar? How are you going to let people know there will be a dollar dance? Just stick with your current options and let it be. You are properly hosting your guests at this point, but asking them to pay for additional drinks is not proper hosting. 

  

  

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• DrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member

  

  June 2016

  Check this link out: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1036615/cash-bars-everything-you-need-to-know-in-one-place#latest

  

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• kimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member

  

  June 2016

  

  Knottie0682519 said:

  I have yet to find a money tree growing in my backyard so cutting out the cost for liquor was the more reasonable thing to remove.

  
  Most of us here are paying for our own weddings and had to find ways to properly host all of our guests.  Does that mean you may have to make cuts?  Sure, so cut the liquor and serve beer and wine only.

   I have been to plenty of receptions that have the guest pay for the mixed drinks, since people can get out of hand with liquor.
  
  This makes me feel like Jimmy Fallon's Sara with no H.  I just can't.  Just because other people have engaged in rude behavior doesn't make that behavior okay.  I have read lots of stories online about bridesmaids being caught making out the groom somewhere during the reception.  That doesn't mean that when I was a bridesmaid I stole the groom away to a closet.

  And my biggest pet peeve:  who in the eff cares if someone gets drunk at your wedding.  It's a party, and a celebration.  If they stay and get drunk they're having a good time.  If they leave early, they were bored and didn't want to pay for your shitty liquor selections when they likely have the stuff they prefer at home.  They're adults, trust them to behave like adults and if they do get out of hand trust your bartenders to do their damned jobs and cut people off.
  
  I have never thought that to be rude or distasteful.
  
  I learned a long time ago on these boards that it's okay as a guest to not hold all standards of etiquette to the same level, but as a host it is your responsibility to host everyone properly because just because it doesn't bother you, doesn't mean it doesn't bother everyone.  Another example, I'm PPD Lite, as long as it's an available date and I'm hosted properly, I'm good.  However, I'm totally talking crap about your partial cash bar while I drink your free beer.

  It's like the dollar dance, if you do not want to pay a dollar to dance with the bride or groom then you don't have to, same with the liquor, you don't have to purchase them if you do not want to.
  
  Ditto my previous sentiment about etiquette as a host vs as a guest and @drillsergeantcat.  If someone is making it rain at your wedding, you may to rethink why you think it's okay to engage in behavior in front of your family that is typically reserved for windowless buildings.
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• PrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member

  

  June 2016 edited June 2016

  Knottie0682519 said:

  I am having around 230 people are my reception. We are paying for beer and wine and if the guests want a mixed drink they will have to pay for that themselves. I was wondering how many kegs and 1.5L of wine would you suggest getting?
  
  Thanks
  

  Please don't do this. 
  
  I don't bring cash to wedding receptions because I assume the hosts are actually hosting, and that my drinks are paid for.  If I saw people ordering beer and wine with no issue, and then I ordered a gin and tonic and was then billed for it, I'd have to leave the drink on the bar and walk away. . . how awkward for the bartender who now has just wasted a drink, and likely awkward for you as you'd likely be on the hook for paying for it.
  
  Just offer what you can afford to host.  If you can't afford to host mixed drinks- which is totally fine- just don't offer them.  Have your venue put up a few signs on the bar that lists exactly what is being hosted, so there's no confusion for your guests.
  
  I chose not to have a full open bar because the cost of adding in all that liquor for mixed drinks was very high.  Instead we hosted a limited bar- beer, wine, and a single signature drink.
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

  

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• PrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member

  

  June 2016

  geebee908 said:

  DrillSergeantCat said:

  AddieCake said:

  Please don't have a cash bar or partial cash bar. Limited bar is perfectly fine.
  
  Would you invite someone to your home for dinner, offer them iced tea for free but charge them for a soda? No? Then why would you do something like that at your wedding? 

  I should stop doing this. I also charge if they want sweetener for their tea. Is this also wrong?

  I really wish TK hadn't taken away the sarcasm font. @DrillSergeantCat could definitely become proficient with it.
  

  It's still here, sorta.
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

  

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• ScottishSarah member

  

  June 2016

  AddieCake said:

  So because you've seen it done, it's ok? 
  
  Sigh. Again, money is not a valid explanation. Nobody said ZOMG YOU HAVE TO HAVE A FULL OPEN BAR FOR EVERYONE!!!! Limited bar is perfectly acceptable. 
  
  And @DrillSergeantCat Heck yeah, you should be charging for sweetener. Who do your guests think they are, anyway?! You aren't made of money! Bastards.

  Yes, why should YOU have to pay for your guests to get all sugared up!

  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  June 2016

  OP I think you might be taking people's comments wrong...No one is saying you should pay for liquor if you can't afford it. Absolutely not. If you can afford beer and wine, that's awesome and totally reasonable. But if liquor will break the bank (which is fine - it's not required), then just don't offer it.

  The point people are (correctly) making is that you should have anything at the reception that people have to pay for. Not cake, not an alternate menu choice, not liquor, not coffee....you get the point. So if you can't afford something, not a big deal btw, just don't offer it.

  For example, I would have loved to offer a bottle of giulio ferrari but couldn't afford it. I didn't offer it and then charge people...I just didn't offer it. That's the point.

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• kimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member

  

  June 2016

  New question:  It sounds as though you're providing the wine and beer, would you be providing the alcohol for the partial cash bar as well and if so, how were you planning to go about setting prices and collecting the money?  Who is providing the bar service?
  
  It seems even sillier to me to insist on a cash mixed drink bar when you're providing the alcohol and bartending services.  It's not like you can blame it on the venue.

  
  

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