New:)

Anastasia723 · January 2012

New:)

SamiJoeB · January 2012

Hi & Welcome! Best of Luck with your VR.

Sammy0709 · January 2012

DH and I had a vow renewal also. Good luck with yours.

BinxRose · January 2012

Welcome to the board, and congratulations on the wedding you had! Now, with the "real wedding" you want to have, that is a vow renewal (VR), not a wedding. To make things clear, a wedding is not a huge party, a wedding is when two people exchange vows and become married, as you already did. A vow renewal is when you exchange vows again. I know a lot of girls/women dream of having their big day with "the whole works," but it's not everyone's dream. So just a heads up in case you were thinking of saying this (because many have), do not say you didn't have your "real wedding," as you are saying that couples who JOP-ed at a courthouse did not have a "real wedding."

Now, I'm assuming both of your families know that you're already married? If not, it's completely unethical (and some couples have actually done it). Not to mention risky, as your marriage record is public for anyone in your family to find (or myself, now that I know your full name).

Please don't feel like a VR is a punishment, or that you aren't allowed to celebrate! Just realize that it can't be treated the way you would a wedding. Do exchange vows again for your friends and family to see, and do have food and dancing and celebration! Just realize that some things such as bach. parties and gift registries/accepting gifts are in extremely poor taste. None of your friends or family would say these things to your face, but many probably would side-eye doing those things.

Here is a great website to help guide you in using proper etiquette in planning your vow renewal: http://www.idotaketwo.com/vow_renewal_etiquette.html

CN of website: A few etiquette tips in planning your VR:

-No gift registry

-No wedding shower (see above), and no bach. parties (neither of you are "single"/unmarried)

-No "giving away" by your father. You are already married

Zimsgirl26 · January 2012

Well said binx

CAB1217 · January 2012

Binx, you're so good at that!

Zimsgirl26 · January 2012

Here we go again...

BinxRose · January 2012

Well bless your little heart sweetie!

calindi · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:357887de-b47b-4c0f-bec1-397fab584785Post:9676a357-0bd4-4eec-a274-fb4c186bfeae">Re: New:)</a>:
[QUOTE]BinxRose, I was unaware that you were the ettiquette police:) For your information, and anyone else interested...our family and friends are referring to it as our big wedding. Until I have a church ceremony, we do not think that our wedding is complete (including our Lutheran pastor who served in the Army as well). I stated in my post who was in attendance at our civil ceremony, so please don't attack me like I am an 18 year old girlfriend of two weeks who decided to go marry my soldier for all the money he makes:) All of our family and friends know:) Additionally, I am having a bridal shower, registry, white dress with veil, and my father is giving me away. While I do not agree with people who get married and then DEMAND all of the extras of a larger ceremony and spend gobs of money, I have a very supportive group of family and friends who want nothing more than me to be happy on my big wedding day:) I am not sure if your ceremony/ceremonies aren't what you wanted, or if you're just looking to to enforce your "ethics" on others because of what has been forced upon you, but I am not here to hear about either:) I am here because I am planning my big wedding and was hoping to have something in common with other girls planning their wedding involving a military member (the not-knowing, unpredictability, planning a formal military ceremony, etc). I do not feel "bad" about my church ceremony, because it has been and will be everything I wanted and more:)
Posted by Anastasia723[/QUOTE]

Great, go do it then. If you're not here to hear what people have to say, then why post? For a pat on the head? If your family and friends are cool with it, then fine. Go do it. You don't need our advice and opinions.

Personally, if a friend of mine got married and then threw a big 'wedding', I'd probably not say anything to her face because I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings, but I'd be judging her. I'd think it was really gift-grabby. I'd think it was a big production and a lot of money, and I'd resent having to go to showers & a bachelorette party & buy a bridesmaid's dress for what amounts to a big fake wedding. Why not just wait until having the big church wedding, if that's what it means to you? Why do two different ceremonies?

Zimsgirl26 · January 2012

I could've done what you're doing. FI was in basic then a month later got deployed. He was even injured and I didn't get updates when his mom did. I only got updates when FI called me between surgeries if he even could. I didn't do the quick ceremony then the "real wedding" because you only get one. I wanted to have my wedding in June and have what I wanted. The few extras would not be worth the "2 weddings." If you weren't going to listen to any of our advice then what's the point in posting

CAB1217 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:357887de-b47b-4c0f-bec1-397fab584785Post:9676a357-0bd4-4eec-a274-fb4c186bfeae">Re: New:)</a>:
[QUOTE]BinxRose, I was unaware that you were the ettiquette police:) For your information, and anyone else interested...our family and friends are referring to it as our big wedding. Until I have a church ceremony, we do not think that our wedding is complete (including our Lutheran pastor who served in the Army as well). I stated in my post who was in attendance at our civil ceremony, so please don't attack me like I am an 18 year old girlfriend of two weeks who decided to go marry my soldier for all the money he makes:) All of our family and friends know:) Additionally, I am having a bridal shower, registry, white dress with veil, and my father is giving me away. While I do not agree with people who get married and then DEMAND all of the extras of a larger ceremony and spend gobs of money, I have a very supportive group of family and friends who want nothing more than me to be happy on my big wedding day:) I am not sure if your ceremony/ceremonies aren't what you wanted, or if you're just looking to to enforce your "ethics" on others because of what has been forced upon you, but I am not here to hear about either:) I am here because I am planning my big wedding and was hoping to have something in common with other girls planning their wedding involving a military member (the not-knowing, unpredictability, planning a formal military ceremony, etc). I do not feel "bad" about my church ceremony, because it has been and will be everything I wanted and more:)
Posted by Anastasia723[/QUOTE]
Oh good Lord, OP, If you truly checked out the boards prior to posting like you SAID you have, you'd know that this is a very VERY sticky subject around these parts. Bottom line, if it's not done the way Binx explained it, its tacky and rude. You don't have to like what Binx or any of us say about it, but it's true. So, do what you want, but the fact is, you had your wedding, and now you're having a VOW RENEWAL/PRETTY PRINCESS DAY. Don't come in here attacking Binx when all she did was give you proper advice.

I'd advise you NOT to stick around here if you're looking for people to validate your PPD. It's not gonna happen.

ETA: By the way, I know 2 people doing what you are doing (already married, but having their "real" weddings) and guess what!? EVERY person that knows them are talking about how tacky they're going about it. Not to their faces, but behind their backs. I'd bet they would have gone about this a very different way had they listened to good advice.

Sammy0709 · January 2012

OP: DH and I's VR was for religious reasons but, that didn't make it any less a VR. You can call it what you want. Afterall, that's just semantics. However, I do suggest following some level of etiquette. We didn't think Bach parties, showers, and gifts were appropriate so we didn't include those things. Remember, not everyone is going to have the same view as your family. Just as these ladies do not share your opinions.

calindi · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:357887de-b47b-4c0f-bec1-397fab584785Post:85126f99-116c-491f-91f8-f669760c512e">Re: New:)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New:) : I'd advise you NOT to stick around here if you're looking for people to validate your PPD. It's not gonna happen.
Posted by CAB1217[/QUOTE]

Yep, this. There's plenty of 18 year old narsicissts on WeddingBee and a few other places that will happily agree with you that whatever you want to do as the 'bride' is totally right and justified. If you want to be surrounded by brainless 'yes-women', then go find them. We aren't them.

crownsuperstar · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:357887de-b47b-4c0f-bec1-397fab584785Post:1cdfa336-8559-4af6-a555-3b8c2e01e7fd">Re: New:)</a>:
[QUOTE]OP: DH and I's VR was for religious reasons but, that didn't make it any less a VR. You can call it what you want. Afterall, that's just semantics. However, I do suggest following some level of etiquette. <strong>We didn't think Bach parties, showers, and gifts were appropriate so we didn't include those things.</strong> Remember, not everyone is going to have the same view as your family. Just as these ladies do not share your opinions.
Posted by Sammy0709[/QUOTE]

Well said. OP, I really don't care what you do or what your family is ok with. All I am saying if I got a wedding shower invite for a couple that was already married there are a couple of things that I would think.

1. Boy they are greedy and wanting gifts.
2. Aren't they already married. Why so much longer are they having a wedding shower.
3. Boy they are greedy.
4. I have something better to do on that day.

I my opinion I think having showers and bachelorette party (you are not a bachelorette anymore) is just tacky.

Anastasia723 · January 2012

I was not looking for a fight. My point is that I've obviously been around the block with this situation, and this is the choice that we have made. Am I looking for support or advice surround whether to have a big wedding? No. I am looking for tips and tricks and support with those also planning a wedding with a groom that is away or has the potential to leave.

Call it a vow renewal all you want, I would not have said anything to anyone based on just those comments. However, I was not looking to be lectured about my decision. I am sure that there are all choices that each of us make that no one agrees with. I am not looking for validation:)

I am so happy for all of you who were able to wait or felt that you were able to wait for just one wedding. That is wonderful! I am not be sarcastic or rude, I am being completely serious. However, I feel bad for those of you who have family and friends who would talk behind your back or those of you who would talk behind someone you were the family or friend of who is doing what we are doing. Personally, I wouldn't want those poeple a part of my day. I can guarantee you that we don't have those individuals in our family or friends.

We are not having bachelor/bachelorette parties, we are not either of those things. We are having a registry because people have been calling us and our families asking where we are registered...we were not planning it originally. My father is giving me away in the church, because it wasn't an option with our civil ceremony and the church ceremony is incredibly different than the civil ceremony for us. My husband and I did not live together prior to getting married...it was something important to me. Can I assume that I can push my beliefs on all of you about living with someone for three years and then getting married? No...to each his own. Do what you want. If you do that and ask me about flower colors? Of course I'll offer advice.

Anastasia723 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:357887de-b47b-4c0f-bec1-397fab584785Post:1cdfa336-8559-4af6-a555-3b8c2e01e7fd">Re: New:)</a>:
[QUOTE]OP: DH and I's VR was for religious reasons but, that didn't make it any less a VR. You can call it what you want. Afterall, that's just semantics. However, I do suggest following some level of etiquette. We didn't think Bach parties, showers, and gifts were appropriate so we didn't include those things. Remember, not everyone is going to have the same view as your family. Just as these ladies do not share your opinions.
Posted by Sammy0709[/QUOTE]

<div>I completely agree as far as semantics go. Whether I call it my party, wedding, VR, or whatever else...it's all the same. I have chosen to go with big wedding. If you chose to call it my VR in a post, we are talking about the same thing. We are not having bachelor/bachelorette parties because that doesn't mean us anymore. My aunt asked to throw me a shower after all the questions she got from family members. If someone does not want to buy us a gift, and only celebrate us being married when they did not get to before, we will still love to have them there:)</div>

CAB1217 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:357887de-b47b-4c0f-bec1-397fab584785Post:9676a357-0bd4-4eec-a274-fb4c186bfeae">Re: New:)</a>:
[QUOTE]BinxRose, <strong>I was unaware that you were the ettiquette police</strong>:) For your information, and anyone else interested...our family and friends are referring to it as our big wedding. Until I have a church ceremony, we do not think that our wedding is complete (including our Lutheran pastor who served in the Army as well). I stated in my post who was in attendance at our civil ceremony,<strong> so please don't attack me like I am an 18 year old girlfriend of two weeks who decided to go marry my soldier for all the money he makes</strong>:) All of our family and friends know:) Additionally, I am having a bridal shower, registry, white dress with veil, and my father is giving me away. While I do not agree with people who get married and then DEMAND all of the extras of a larger ceremony and spend gobs of money, I have a very supportive group of family and friends who want nothing more than me to be happy on my big wedding day:) I am not sure<strong> if your ceremony/ceremonies aren't what you wanted, or if you're just looking to to enforce your "ethics" on others because of what has been forced upon you, but I am not here to hear about either</strong>:) I am here because I am planning my big wedding and was hoping to have something in common with other girls planning their wedding involving a military member (the not-knowing, unpredictability, planning a formal military ceremony, etc). I do not feel "bad" about my church ceremony, because it has been and will be everything I wanted and more:)
Posted by Anastasia723[/QUOTE]

The bolded parts are what started this. YOU got defensive when you were given advice, and told that you are not getting married again. You came here for tips, you've got them. You're no special snowflake. Many military wives come here saying the same thing. NO one cares what you do, but we will, however, speak our minds on the situation. This is the internet, not a PPD support group.

AmandaSC1988 · January 2012

Just a heads up... call it whatever you want in your own world, we can't control you there.... but I can promise you will have better reception HERE on this board... if you call it a VR.

Plain and Simple.

Sammy0709 · January 2012

People did give you advice. Granted, some of the advice given was given prematurely such as telling you not to lie to your guests. That probably shouldn't have been said unless you told us that was your plan. That seems like assuming something to me. Good luck if you need opinions from someone with similar experience I'm happy to butt in.

Anastasia723 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:357887de-b47b-4c0f-bec1-397fab584785Post:46e8c59f-eaab-4ddd-af3f-f40fc33cc62e">Re: New:)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New:) : The bolded parts are what started this. YOU got defensive when you were given advice, and told that you are not getting married again. You came here for tips, you've got them. You're no special snowflake. Many military wives come here saying the same thing. NO one cares what you do, but we will, however, speak our minds on the situation. This is the internet, not a PPD support group.
Posted by CAB1217[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>As I stated earlier, I'm not looking for life lessons...I'm looking for wedding tips. Do I go with pool or mermaid for bridesmaids dresses to match infantry blue? The back of my dress is pretty simple, do I wear my hair up or down? THOSE are what I was planning on looking here for:) I did not anywhere in my OP, say "what do you think about my life choice?" :)</div>

Anastasia723 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:357887de-b47b-4c0f-bec1-397fab584785Post:e598f3b1-8cf1-41dd-8b6f-061f309a485a">Re: New:)</a>:
[QUOTE]Just a heads up... call it whatever you want in your own world, we can't control you there.... but I can promise you will have better reception HERE on this board... if you call it a VR. Plain and Simple.
Posted by AmandaSC1988[/QUOTE]

<div>I will call it what I want, and others can call it what they want, as I've stated in almost every post. That is what it is to me and those involved. If it helps YOU, call it what you wish:) And be happy that the military lifestyle (that I'm assuming you're apart of) has not put you in any sticky situations yet, because if it's something you think you will be apart of for a while, it will:)</div>

USMCBride90 · January 2012

The only thing I can give advice on is planning a wedding with FI being away. Our wedding is July 28th of this year, and we are planning it all while living 2000+ miles apart. A billion phone calls about the venue and trying to plan over skype isn't ideal, but hey, it's all worth it.

ggirl2001 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:357887de-b47b-4c0f-bec1-397fab584785Post:876e8a8f-03fa-45c1-a58d-3af5a5dff1a9">Re: New:)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New:) : I will call it what I want, and others can call it what they want, as I've stated in almost every post. That is what it is to me and those involved. If it helps YOU, call it what you wish:) <strong> And be happy that the military lifestyle (that I'm assuming you're apart of) has not put you in any sticky situations yet, because if it's something you think you will be apart of for a while, it will:)</strong>
Posted by Anastasia723[/QUOTE]

Dude, this is probably offensive to 90% of the ladies on this board. You have no clue what anyone has been through. You got mad at pp's for judging you and then you turn around and do the same thing? That doesn't even make sense. If you get mad at someone assuming something about you, in no way, does it make it right for you to assume shiit about anyone else? I personally could give 2 shiits what the heck you call your day as long as you recognize that you are already married (and that you don't NEED the big wedding, but you want it, which is perfectly fine) and that you aren't lying to people. Would I side-eye a shower? yeah probably, but I would go, if I had the money to afford it, and I didn't have to travel. But, I get that these posts came across as judgmental and that was not anyone's intention. The intention is for any person (lurkers included) to recognize that when they refer to something as their "real wedding" when they are already married, that it could be offensive for people who did not have a big party and just had JOP.

Anastasia723 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:357887de-b47b-4c0f-bec1-397fab584785Post:de3bafb2-02d3-4cf0-87d7-13271989dcd8">Re: New:)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New:) : You don't try to match 'infantry blue'. It's a uniform, it's meant to be uniform. Do you make black a wedding color because the groom would be in a black tux? Nope. Just treat it as neutral and proceed as you want with colors. You're snotty and self-righteous, and you obviously aren't going to change your mind about having a big ol' "wedding" but none of us have to approve of it or like it, and that doesn't mean any of us are a) jealous or b) haven't felt the inconvenience of the military. You don't know something we don't, and you aren't special because you 'had' to have two 'weddings'. You CHOSE to do it that way, and we don't have to like it. And you may believe no one is talking behind your back, but they definitely are. Someone always is, no matter what the wedding is or how people do it, someone is always offended. You can't avoid it altogether. You don't need to 'pity us' because our families would judge having a big 'wedding' since we rushed the first one. I'm sure there will be people in your family who react that way, too. If you didn't want to live together before marriage, but you want your church to recognize your marriage... then you probably should have waited for your church wedding to move in together, since that's when the church recognizes you as married.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

<div>The difference being that black is a color that goes with everything, and personally I didn't think Army dress blues were something that matched everything. Now we're attacking my wedding colors?</div><div>
</div><div>Nope, nobody is:) Why? Because that's just not how we are. And I didn't rush a marriage after three years.</div><div>
</div><div>I am trying to be understanding, but I am not looking to be attacked. I probably agree with less than half of what you're doing for your wedding. Again, if you asked about something in particular, regardless of if I thought you color choices made sense, I would offer you my advice based on the situation that you asked about. :)</div>

Sammy0709 · January 2012

Yes, Army blues match everything. The female attendants in my VR wore pink and baby blue. Two of the males were in Dress Blues.

ggirl2001 · January 2012

Also, don't worry about matching his uniform. I would pick colors that you both agree on, like, and match the style of your wedding. Any colors you pick will look amazing with the uniform no matter what. Also, are the GM's all going to be in uniform or some in tuxes? That's the other reason I wouldn't match it to the uniform. Pick what you both like. It'll save you a headache.

USMCBride90 · January 2012

My FI will be wearing his Marine Corps dress blues, but I will not be matching those colors at all lol I could do the typical red/blue/yellow/gold, (not saying those colors aren't beautiful for a wedding with the groom wearing blues) but that's just not us and I'd like a little more color for an outdoor July wedding. So we're doing coral and white. Coral isn't really a normal color, and definitely does not match the dress blues, but I like it and still think it will look beautiful

Anastasia723 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:357887de-b47b-4c0f-bec1-397fab584785Post:2d12c373-628f-4fa7-89e5-7bc3a41b2959">Re: New:)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New:) : Dude, this is probably offensive to 90% of the ladies on this board. You have no clue what anyone has been through. You got mad at pp's for judging you and then you turn around and do the same thing? That doesn't even make sense. If you get mad at someone assuming something about you, in no way, does it make it right for you to assume shiit about anyone else? I personally could give 2 shiits what the heck you call your day as long as you recognize that you are already married (and that you don't NEED the big wedding, but you want it, which is perfectly fine) and that you aren't lying to people. Would I side-eye a shower? yeah probably, but I would go, if I had the money to afford it, and I didn't have to travel. But, I get that these posts came across as judgmental and that was not anyone's intention. The intention is for any person (lurkers included) to recognize that when they refer to something as their "real wedding" when they are already married, that it could be offensive for people who did not have a big party and just had JOP.
Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

<div>My assumption, just like everyone else's assumptions, were based on opinions. Do I think that someone who is in or about to be in a military lifestyle would respond and be so hurtful and negative the way many were? No. But apparently I was wrong. I wasn't asking for opinions about my choices. Asking if I had considered these thoughts would have been different.</div><div>
</div><div>I don't NEED a big day...I think I made that clear. However, I would like a day to celebrate with my family and friends. Do I expect anyone to come to the shower or bring a gift to the wedding? Not at all. I wouldn't expect that anyway. Your approach is essentially all we were asking of our guests in the beginning. We are trying to be as accomodating as possible to everyone considering they're coming from all over.</div><div>
</div><div>I am not sure if I referred to it as our "real" or "big" wedding. If I said real, that is not what I meant. Big is what we are calling it...or church ceremony. I am not looking to offend anyone. As I have said over again, call it what you want...and I'll do the same:)</div>

amh04 · January 2012

Wow - work really has a way with keeping me out of the good stuff.

All I am going to add to this - is that you were given great advice, the same advice every other bride on here or wife in your case is given.

1. If having a religious ceremony was that important to you, you wouldn't of gotten married in a civil ceremony. I've been in situations that have costed me thousands of dollars - and could have easily costed me nothing had we done a civil ceremony - but having 1 wedding and having our relgious ceremony is more important than the extra cash, and the insurance.

2. You got defensive - these girls were just trying to give you some pointers in doing a proper VR.

3. You don't match a uniform - ever - it's just tacky.

CAB1217 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:357887de-b47b-4c0f-bec1-397fab584785Post:67bc918d-e297-4a73-bf3f-72fd87c683ae">Re: New:)</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI will be wearing his Marine Corps dress blues, but I will not be matching those colors at all lol I could do the typical red/blue/yellow/gold, (not saying those colors aren't beautiful for a wedding with the groom wearing blues) but that's just not us and I'd like a little more color for an outdoor July wedding. So we're doing coral and white. <strong>Coral isn't really a normal color</strong>, and definitely does not match the dress blues, but I like it and still think it will look beautiful :)
Posted by USMCBride90[/QUOTE]

Ohhh I loveeee Coral! Sounds pretty.

AmandaSC1988 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:357887de-b47b-4c0f-bec1-397fab584785Post:b841f91d-60f1-46fb-a85d-15d425aecea0">Re: New:)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New:) : Reread your posts sweetheart...I hardly took them as nice. I am not in a competition for who has the most hurdles to jump because of the military. Mommy and daddy aren't paying for our wedding...we've been saving and cutting corners since our engagement:) Apparently we both suck at assuming...me for assuming because of your lack of even a hint of understanding and that I was met with attitude, meant that you didn't understand the military lifestyle, and you assuming that rather than this being where we're allocating some of our paychecks, mommy and daddy are paying. Honestly, I was always against the second wedding ceremony idea...until I was left with a choice. You chose to wait - and that's great! Seriously. However, I was given the choice between having a civil ceremony when we did, or perhaps something even less if we waited, with no one attending. We have cancelled our church ceremony twice...and until I walk back down that aisle, I won't be convinced it is ever going to happen. Honestly, if it doesn't, I will be ok with that. As I said, our civil ceremony was perfect, I only wish that everyone can celebrate with us. I am happy for all of you who are able to wait for your one big special day. I do not understand why it's not recirocated? We are all planning an event to celebrate our marriage with our family and friends. I hardly thought I came across as the gimme gimme princess bride.
Posted by Anastasia723[/QUOTE]

<span style="line-height:115%;color:black;font-size:8pt;"><font face="Calibri">Please don’t Sweetheart me… That is condescending and rude. True the first comment was a bit snarky, but the second post was a tip on how to get people to like you here. You aren’t special…everyone has had problems with the military and we make choices on how we handle those problems. You chose to get married and you must own up to it. You can have a big party… no one is telling you not to..but don’t call it a wedding..it is a VR. You are not the only woman to ever come across here with the exact same story. It is just a fact that you will NOT be liked here until you call it a VR. </font></span>

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