Too many guests to greet?

[Deleted User] · January 2017

Hi,

At my wedding so far we have counted 345 guests. I feel a receiving line would take too long and be really boring for guests to have to wait in a huge queue. Also table visits would take forever! Each table holds 10 people.

What's a new bride to do!?

DrillSergeantCat · January 2017

Suck it up. You absolutely must visit each guest and thank them for coming.

[Deleted User] · January 2017

But what is the best way to get round to see every guest? Simply saying greet every guest doesn't help me come up with ideas.

[Deleted User] · January 2017

scribe95 said:

Greet. Every. Guest.

345 is huge. Maybe you should trim it a bit. But honestly don't come on here with a woe-is-me attitude about how hard it will be to talk to all your guests, who have come out (likely with a gift) to celebrate with you.

I'm definitely not going to reduce the number of guests!

DrillSergeantCat · January 2017

Knottie41d38a3ac4fa8525 said:

But what is the best way to get round to see every guest? Simply saying greet every guest doesn't help me come up with ideas.

What ideas can there be? You either do a receiving line, which as you already stated will take too long, or you greet them at the table. Those are your two options.

JaxInBlue · January 2017

Yup. One or the other. Guests get a thanks for coming from you and your new spouse. Things you can do: get the bulk of your pictures done before your ceremony to minimize the time you need during cocktail hour. Join in cocktail hour so you can circulate and thank guests.

If you do table visits, as you and your spouse will be among the first served, do a few visits between each course. If you are having a buffet meal, begin doing your visits as you see tables finishing their meals.

I'm personally not sure which would be more efficient for you time wise (35 table visits vs. 345 handshakes, though I'd guess the table visits) but you've got to do one or the other.

[Deleted User] · January 2017

If I greet at the table, when would I get time to eat?

[Deleted User] · January 2017

I mean that as a serious point. I would like to eat at reception

[Deleted User] · January 2017

I thought I'd try to sprak to as many as I can at the cocktail hour. Would that work?

DrillSergeantCat · January 2017

Knottie41d38a3ac4fa8525 said:

If I greet at the table, when would I get time to eat?

A lot of brides don't get to eat at the reception because of this. Definitely try to get to as many people as possible during cocktail hour.

[Deleted User] · January 2017

DrillSergeantCat said:

Knottie41d38a3ac4fa8525 said:

If I greet at the table, when would I get time to eat?

A lot of brides don't get to eat at the reception because of this. Definitely try to get to as many people as possible during cocktail hour.

I meant just try to speak to everyone during the cocktail hour and that's it. I don't want to damage my health by missing a meal. I've been advised to increase my calorie intake for health reasons so missing a meal isn't a good idea.

STARMOON44 · January 2017

Knottie41d38a3ac4fa8525 said:

If I greet at the table, when would I get time to eat?

Quickly. Ask to be the first table served, eat your meal, and get moving. With 345 people there is no way you'll make it to even a fraction of them during the cocktail hour. You wanted this many people so you're stuck with this.

holyguacamole79 · January 2017

We had a little over 200 at ours and table visits were the way to go (at least, for us). We had a buffet, so we (bride & groom) ate first while our guests were in line. As they started eating (and we were done ... yes, we got to eat), we went to each table to say hello.

Here's what helped us IMMENSELY - we had a DoC (Day-of-coordinator) who escorted us to each table. She kept an eye on her watch and gave us 2 minutes per table. Once the 2 minutes were up, she gracefully excused us and took us to the next table. If you have 34 tables & take 2 minutes per table, that's just over an hour.

Keep in mind, too, when you get overwhelmed that your guest list includes people like your bridal party & immediate family. I don't think your parents & bridesmaids expect you to take time to greet them

.

Definitely make an effort, though. I've been to weddings where the couple doesn't attempt to visit their guests, and it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

LondonLisa · January 2017

You aren't going to damage your health. You absolutely MUST greet every guest. If you have health issues, you need to prepare beforehand. There is no way you are going to speak to everyone during cocktail hour (That would mean 10 seconds with each guest and not even including the time it takes to walk in between people!).

You have a light snack before the ceremony. Arrange for a quick banana/apple/ almonds after the ceremony. During the cocktail hour make sure the venue gets you a separate plate of canapes during your photography. If you are THAT worried about being starving, have a sandwich or a bread roll before you are introduced.

Let's say you have 10 people per table:

You are introduced. You have the venue serve you two first and you have 5-8 minutes to quickly eat your starter, then you do a table visit of 12 tables, 3 minutes per table (36 minutes)

Everything is cleared. You get back to your table, have 10 minutes to quickly eat your main course (again, have the venue serve you first), then you do 15 table visits (45 minutes)

You quickly have a 10 minute dessert, and then do the remaining 10 tables whilst they are eating desert (30 minutes).

You also have the wait staff box up any leftover meals so you and your husband can have food at the hotel later if you are still hungry.

The reception isn't for you, it is for you to thank your guests for witnessing your wedding.

It seems like you are looking for us to say 'Don't worry about it, everyone understands'. That simply isn't the case. No one, including your guests, is going to be OK with you not greeting everyone.

You CHOSE to have a 375 person wedding, it is time for you to accept that this means you aren't going to have a leisurely sit down meal. Actions have consequences.

[Deleted User] · January 2017

I'll definitely try and get round!

Still waiting on RSVPs! So haven't got the complete number yet.

00kim00 · January 2017

I'm going to go against some other ideas here and say don't try to do it during cocktail hour. You'll likely hit some people from many tables, but not too many full tables, so you'll still have just as many tables to visit. Instead, some couples eat privately during cocktail hour, then come out and are introduced and can do table visits. That way you get to eat AND have time to visit everyone.

Ro041 · January 2017

Knottie41d38a3ac4fa8525 said:

I mean that as a serious point. I would like to eat at reception

How long does it take you to eat?? Serious question. Sometimes I have 10 minutes to eat during work. Sometimes it's 30 minutes. Unless your reception is less than 30 minutes, you should have time to eat and greet everyone.

kahluakoala · January 2017

Why don't you have your caterer plate two meals for you, and you guys sit down for 15 minutes during cocktail hour and eat, and then you can spend the dinner time doing table visits and greeting guests

ILoveBeachMusic · January 2017

scribe95 said:

You know the two ways - receiving line and table visits. There aren't other options. You just have to pick and do them.

I had about 170 at mine and did a receiving line. People sat in the pews until their pew was released and we were in the back. It lessened the time they had to stand in line. Took us about 20 minutes.

I wouldn't do a pew release for a guest list as large as OPs. I attended a wedding where that was done and it was awful for those of us in the last pew. I think a receiving line at the reception or as they exit the church (if allowed) would be better. However, OP and H must greet all guests.

banana468 · January 2017

You'll be served first. Shovel it in. Fast.

Also, my friend stood at the door to her reception and greeted every guest as they arrived. I loved it.

justsie · January 2017

I agree with another PP, eat during cocktail hour and then you will have all of the dinner to do table visits.

MesmrEwe · January 2017

We had 400 at the reception and more than that at the wedding, our receiving line after mass didn't take as long as one would think so we didn't miss greeting anyone, our main streamline is we didn't make the bridal party stand with us and had a "Y" going with DH's and my parents off to each side by a door so things would go incredibly efficiently. The meal we had four lines through the buffet and dinner took an hour. Don't overthink this!

MesmrEwe · January 2017

banana468 said:

You'll be served first. Shovel it in. Fast.

I think this is standard advice for all couples on their wedding day regardless of the size of wedding...

CMGragain · January 2017

If you cannot personally greet and thank each and every one of your guests, then you cannot have such a big guest list. No wiggle room. I would be very insulted if I was not personally greeted after taking the time to attend a wedding and to buy a gift. Yes, it happened at one wedding. I haven't spoken to her since. I am friends with her mother, and, believe me, the bride heard all about it! (So sad that a lady with a lot of class has a child with none.)

Jen4948 · January 2017

You have two options:
1) Invite fewer guests (only if you haven't sent out invitations or save-the-dates already)
2) Get over it and personally greet every guest.

You made the decision that all of those people should be invited. Ignoring any of them would be a huge faux pas.

ei34 · January 2017

Knottie41d38a3ac4fa8525 said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

Knottie41d38a3ac4fa8525 said:

If I greet at the table, when would I get time to eat?

A lot of brides don't get to eat at the reception because of this. Definitely try to get to as many people as possible during cocktail hour.

I meant just try to speak to everyone during the cocktail hour and that's it. I don't want to damage my health by missing a meal. I've been advised to increase my calorie intake for health reasons so missing a meal isn't a good idea.

I'm surprised that the doctor or dietitian who advised you to increase your calorie intake didn't give you on-the-go snack tips for those crazy days when you can't sit down to three square meals. My wedding day wasn't the first and hasn't been the last day that there was a lot going on. A baggie of nuts, a banana, an apple, and granola/trail mix are all great to have on hand. Or a hard boiled egg, if you have a little container and don't mind the smell. Your health comes first...but your particular situation has easy solutions.

DH and I greeted our guests during dinner. Our venue had a bridal attendant though, and she brought lots of delicious apps that were being served during cocktail hour while we took photos, and then more food throughout the reception when it looked like we had a moment to sit (which was rare). Ask your venue if they offer this service.

HUGE ditto @ookimoo don't try to greet everyone during cocktail hour. Everyone's moving around too much (as they should), you'd definitely miss people.

[Deleted User] · January 2017

CMGragain said:

If you cannot personally greet and thank each and every one of your guests, then you cannot have such a big guest list. No wiggle room. I would be very insulted if I was not personally greeted after taking the time to attend a wedding and to buy a gift. Yes, it happened at one wedding. I haven't spoken to her since. I am friends with her mother, and, believe me, the bride heard all about it! (So sad that a lady with a lot of class has a child with none.)

Are you saying you stopped speaking to someone simply because they didn't say hello to you at a wedding. I'll admit that not greeting guests is a bit rude, but your reaction sounds completely disproportionate. On a list of things that someone could do to me that would make me stop speaking to them, not greeting people at a wedding ranks very low.

I've been to weddings with 700 people and I didn't get a chance to speak to the bride and groom. Not saying that it's right, but I would still speak to them! 700 people is a lot to get through!

ILoveBeachMusic · January 2017

CMGragain said:

If you cannot personally greet and thank each and every one of your guests, then you cannot have such a big guest list. No wiggle room. I would be very insulted if I was not personally greeted after taking the time to attend a wedding and to buy a gift. Yes, it happened at one wedding. I haven't spoken to her since. I am friends with her mother, and, believe me, the bride heard all about it! (So sad that a lady with a lot of class has a child with none.)

Yep, happend to me too! I certainly don't think very highly of that bride!

DrillSergeantCat · January 2017

I could understand why she'd be offended to the point of not talking to the bride again. The bride basically said without using words that she didn't care whether @CMGragain was there or not. Why would you want to keep a person in your life that doesn't care if you're in theirs?

[Deleted User] · January 2017

eileenrob said:

Knottie41d38a3ac4fa8525 said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

Knottie41d38a3ac4fa8525 said:

If I greet at the table, when would I get time to eat?

A lot of brides don't get to eat at the reception because of this. Definitely try to get to as many people as possible during cocktail hour.

I meant just try to speak to everyone during the cocktail hour and that's it. I don't want to damage my health by missing a meal. I've been advised to increase my calorie intake for health reasons so missing a meal isn't a good idea.

I'm surprised that the doctor or dietitian who advised you to increase your calorie intake didn't give you on-the-go snack tips for those crazy days when you can't sit down to three square meals. My wedding day wasn't the first and hasn't been the last day that there was a lot going on. A baggie of nuts, a banana, an apple, and granola/trail mix are all great to have on hand. Or a hard boiled egg, if you have a little container and don't mind the smell. Your health comes first...but your particular situation has easy solutions.

DH and I greeted our guests during dinner. Our venue had a bridal attendant though, and she brought lots of delicious apps that were being served during cocktail hour while we took photos, and then more food throughout the reception when it looked like we had a moment to sit (which was rare). Ask your venue if they offer this service.

HUGE ditto @ookimoo don't try to greet everyone during cocktail hour. Everyone's moving around too much (as they should), you'd definitely miss people.

It was a doctor provided by the National Health Service. Only a private doctor would have the time to give lots of tips. What is a bridal attendant?

We are having a buffet. I didn't want to start greeting people until they were all seated otherwise I thought I might miss some. But it will take a while for everyone to eat, even though we are gaving multiple stations. I prefer buffets to plated meals because of the variety.

[Deleted User] · January 2017

DrillSergeantCat said:

I could understand why she'd be offended to the point of not talking to the bride again. The bride basically said without using words that she didn't care whether @CMGragain was there or not. Why would you want to keep a person in your life that doesn't care if you're in theirs?

I judge based on an assessment of their actions and I mean all their actions. If overall in our relationship you have been kind and supportive, I wouldn't let one incident mean you are somehow dead to me forever. No one's perfect.

Too many guests to greet?

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