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Wedding Reception Forum
minealone
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Cultural sensitivities?
hi all! Longtime lurker, first time poster here.
so our upcoming California wedding is a westernized Arabian nights theme. I’m Arab so I’m super excited to add a few traditions/decor from my home town. Think lanterns and golden pitchers
I have an idea for an arab styled background for our photobooth; something like this:
https://pin.it/agKJo5j
Im stumped when it comes to props though.. most of our guests are white American and there’s been a lot of controversy about cultural appropriation, especially in our part of the country. I want things that are fun and people wouldn’t be reluctant to have fun with. Am I overthinking this? Any thoughts?
so our upcoming California wedding is a westernized Arabian nights theme. I’m Arab so I’m super excited to add a few traditions/decor from my home town. Think lanterns and golden pitchers
I have an idea for an arab styled background for our photobooth; something like this:
https://pin.it/agKJo5j
Im stumped when it comes to props though.. most of our guests are white American and there’s been a lot of controversy about cultural appropriation, especially in our part of the country. I want things that are fun and people wouldn’t be reluctant to have fun with. Am I overthinking this? Any thoughts?
Re: Cultural sensitivities?
"White" Americans (whatever that is) are usually accepting of other cultures. That is how this country grew and evolved. Enjoy your wedding.
@CMGragain white people in the US are historically NOT accepting of other cultures. We bulldoze them into our ways, and are definitely not tolerant as a society. Native children were stolen from their families and put in schools stripping them of their culture, slaves were beaten for speaking their first language, European immigrants were harassed and ostracized for being different. America is a lot of good things but accepting is not one of them.
I went a wedding a couple months ago for a white woman and her Mexican (4th gen) fiance. One of their props was a turban and their guests (none of whom were part of any cultures which wear turbans) were partying hard in it - tossing it around, dancing with it, trading it back and forth for photos. I side-eyed that pretty damn hard. I wouldn't have any props which you wouldn't want your guests (or anyone who might see photos on social media) to see people to partying in.
OP- as it is part of YOUR culture, you may include an aspects that you wish. But a good point made by Southernbelle to think about how these elements may be used. Decor is one thing- and I like the photo back ground you are thinking of, but would you want certain elements of your culture being used in "silly" ways? The props do not have to match the background.
I was more worried about my guests having fun and not second guessing what they can or cannot do I guess. Personally, I wouldn’t mind seeing people dancing around in a turban and having fun with it. I think its all innocent fun in this particular context, but I wonder if some guests might give others that side eye and be uncomfortable with it. I want people to enjoy my culture, but I definitely don’t want my wedding to turn into a judgy political/social discussion, especially since his family is mostly conservative and our friends are very liberal. And yeah, I was a bit concerned with the possible social media backlash. I’m probably just overthinking it.
It didn’t occur to me that the props don’t have to match the background, thanks everyone!
Unfortunately, there will always be racist, intolerant jerks who make the rest of us look bad. Thankfully, they are in the minority. This really has nothing to do with sharing cultural roots. I wish I had more contact with my Scandinavian roots, but Grandpa left most of his culture behind when he immigrated.
PS. One of the things I used to do when I lived in the Washington DC area was to represent the Daughters of the American Revolution and give a welcoming speech to the immigrants who were becoming new citizens. I was proud to tell them that my own grandfather had been one of them. (Grandpa married Grandma, whose ancestors arrived here on the Mayflower - also immigrants!)
Politics have nothing to do with weddings and cultural traditions. It is very rude to discuss politics or religion at the table. Anyone who does this is being a jerk. I am going on a long cruise soon, and If anyone mentions the name "Donald Trump" at the table, I plan to be very firm about shutting them down.
For Christianity, this would be like a group that is majority some other religion (Islamic, Sikh, whatever) taking a crucifix and wearing it in silly ways, throwing it around for selfies, dancing with it, etc. Kind of offensive, right? Right.
If you want to avoid "judgy political/social discussions", I would avoid political, religious or sentimental cultural symbols. If you even question it, nix it.
I do enjoy when other cultural elements are incorporated into a wedding. I went to a wedding where the bride was Irish and the groom was Persian. All the women received... I have no idea what it's called, I'm sorry... a scarf with jangles on it. During several dances the Persian women were waving the scarves to the music and I took my cues from them. Fun times!
Where you should be concerned, even though you are of the specific culture, is turning it into a stereotype and encouraging your guests to treat your culture like a game.
Therefore, decor, music, ceremonies, etc. celebrating the aspects of your culture that you want to share with your guests are great. Having props in a photobooth that are stereotypes of your culture are not a good idea.
In my last community we had three Islamic centers, and I visited two of them with interest. So did many other members of my church and community. Many of my neighbors were Muslims, and we enjoyed each other's company, as well as immigrant people from all over the world.
Ten years ago, I moved across the country to a very different community of mostly Anglo and Hispanic people. I do not tolerate racism in my life or in my home. Someone who openly expresses racism or cultural prejudice is not welcome.
So what are YOU doing to combat racism and prejudice in YOUR life? It is easy to rant on the internet. Any troll can do that. How about backing it up with action?
When a visitor in my own church asked me "How do you like having a black minister who is married to a white woman?", I made quite a scene, screaming "WHAT? He's black? Really?" Conversation stopped! Everyone stared at this woman in shock. My lovely minister was standing a few feet away, and he burst into laughter, as did his dear wife. We embraced, and when I turned around, the woman was gone, hopefully never to return. I hope she learned something.
This thread has gone way off topic. Some of you need to get off your high horses and realize that this is a wonderful accepting country, and then make sure that you are working, personally, in your own life, to make it so! There will always be ignorant fools. Make sure that you don't do anything to encourage them. Last year, when I was traveling in France, several people asked hesitantly if I was British. I replied, "No, I'm American!" Every time I was greeted with enthusiasm by Europeans of many countries. One couple wanted to take my husband and me home for dinner, and we had trouble excusing ourselves, as we had other plans.
God bless America. It isn't perfect and neither are we, but I hope Americans keep working for a better future for all people from all parts of the world. If some of you want to rant about our current politics. then go ahead. I won't be listening. I get enough of that from CNN. Instead, tell me about what YOU plan to do to make this a better country - and I hope that means voting in all of our elections.
none of us owe you any explanation of what we personally are doing to fight back, we are just telling you that it isn’t all la di dah perfect now. But you obviously are a smart woman and know that, you’re just furiously backpedaling instead of admitting your initial statement was wrong.
Don’t presume that we’re all just ranting on the internet. Not that I have to justify what I do, but before you imply we’re not doing anything to solve problems you might want to take a step back and realize that many of us are doing the work in our communities. So yes I have a lot to say when people make statements about how open and welcoming America is, and I have a whole lot of research and experience to back it up.
And trying to flip the conversation and make it into a pissing contest on "who does more" to combat racism is so stupid I can't even. My eyes don't roll back in my head far enough for that.
I agree with with you guys though, if I’m second guessing something I’m just not going to do it. I do plan on incorporating some traditional Arabic things into our western ceremony with an explanation in the program. My brother (the only one in my family who supports our relationship) is teaching FH traditional Arab dancing, and they plan on doing the dance with their groomsmen at the reception. I also plan on hiring a belly dancer. Those things I’m not second guessing one bit and if anybody’s uncomfortable with it, well then too bad.
I asked FH if his family would think my ceremonial aspects are weird. We pour rose water—representing abundance—, sprinkle flowers for fertility, and gold coins for fortune over the newly weds feet. It’s done on the feet so that these blessings are laid at their feet, wherever they go. His response: “yeah, absolutely, but who cares?” That makes me feel better. And I think people would really enjoy the dancing, I know I do.
I’m just going to steer clear from those types of props and print out typical cut outs or something.
It's great that you are accepting, that doesn't mean that this is an accepting country as a whole.