So I've only been at my job 3 months and my boss started inviting herself to my wedding, what I thought was jokingly, about a month ago. I tried to dodge it at first with dumb answers like "oh, are you walking me down the aisle" or things like that just because I thought she was joking. It's now a week before the wedding and she is still talking about it, and now she is even grilling a co-worker of mine for the address (this co-worker is my bff that has worked there a shorter time than me). To make things even more weird, she straight up said she is skipping the ceremony and only coming to the reception. I tried to be like "oh you're just trying to use me for free food" and she didn't get the hint. This is getting so uncomfortable because she's my boss that I see everyday so I can't dodge her for the next week but like she was never invited / given an invite / I've never even brought the wedding up to her lol. Please help!!
Also we're having like 100 people at the wedding so it's not small, but the seating chart is already done and the food is ordered at this point....
Re: Invited themselves and skipping ceremony
Out of curiosity, is your boss....socially inept?
But I agree with PP. While it's incredibly rude of boss to show up and crash the reception, I wouldn't turn her away at the door if she does show up. There are some friends and family that I'd do that to, but I'd be worried about on-going weirdness with my manager. Caterers are used to last minute additions. It won't be a huge problem to add a chair and plate somewhere.
But since the person in question is your boss and there could be possible repercussions on your work relationship if you did this, I think you'll have to be prepared to host her (and anyone she brings with her) if she does show up. It sucks because it's incredibly rude, but that's the only safe way I see to navigate this situation.
In the future, don't discuss anything personal with your boss that she doesn't absolutely need to know, and consider looking for another job if that seems warranted.
Your boss is rude to ask for an invitation, joking or not, but it's best to handle it directly and diplomatically as possible, since you see her every day. Ditto, Jen, on not discussing your wedding, at all, at work.
You should decide, now, how you'd handle the situation if she crashes your reception. Will you have an extra place set up or will you tell her to leave. While you're within your rights to have her ejected by the banquet manager, there may be repercussions at your job.
I would firmly tell your friend/coworker to NOT divulge the address or anything remotely related to the wedding. Honestly, if she were to actually crash your wedding, I'm not sure I would accommodate her unless this is a DREAM job. I would not want to work with someone who is either that crass or that obtuse.