Etiquette for Corona Comments

elizabethhaslamanddanielschultz · July 31

Does anyone have any tips on the most polite responses to questions/comments like, "You know they wont have a vaccine by [insert wedding date here], and you're still having your wedding?!" and "You are putting everyone at risk of catching the virus by putting them in the same room together."

We will not be moving our wedding date for Corona and instead are having a smaller guest list.

Getting a lot of similar questions from someone that I cannot leave off of the guest list...
Would appreciate any guidance on the most polite way to respond. Thanks

levioosa · July 31

GRIZUTTI00808Tx said:

Does anyone have any tips on the most polite responses to questions/comments like, "You know they wont have a vaccine by [insert wedding date here], and you're still having your wedding?!" and "You are putting everyone at risk of catching the virus by putting them in the same room together."

We will not be moving our wedding date for Corona and instead are having a smaller guest list.

Getting a lot of similar questions from someone that I cannot leave off of the guest list...
Would appreciate any guidance on the most polite way to respond. Thanks

I mean, they’re not wrong.

banana468 · July 31

GRIZUTTI00808Tx said:

Does anyone have any tips on the most polite responses to questions/comments like, "You know they wont have a vaccine by [insert wedding date here], and you're still having your wedding?!" and "You are putting everyone at risk of catching the virus by putting them in the same room together."

We will not be moving our wedding date for Corona and instead are having a smaller guest list.

Getting a lot of similar questions from someone that I cannot leave off of the guest list...
Would appreciate any guidance on the most polite way to respond. Thanks

Can you address their concerns regarding how you intend to handle them?

Consider that in this instance, your wedding guests are members of the community and therefore how you host your wedding actually has an impact on every community in which your wedding guests live. Here is an article regarding how one couple went against CDC protocols, hosted 100 people (a "smaller" wedding depending on who you ask) and they along with 8 guests contracted Covid-19. That's about 10% of the people in attendance that contracted a disease that's killed 154,000 Americans alone.

When people ask what you're doing they ask because in this instance whether or not they are guests, your guests are their community members. Large events are risks as noted by the CDC.

So now your obligation is to either reconsider and have an extremely intimate wedding that follows CDC guidance or consider the risks. At minimum you are going to need to have protocols in place for a socially distant ceremony, masks required for wear when people aren't eating and more tables spaced far apart with no dancing.

If you can't keep this to guests who are already cohorting together (as in all guests are already all in the same bubble) and understand that many who are concerned will decline you may have a smaller wedding than you thought.

MyNameIsNot · July 31

If you are taking precautions to make your guests safe, this would be the time to share. "We know there won't be a vaccine, but we'll be having an outdoor event with less than 25 people, appropriate spacing for those not in the same household, and requiring masks. We're also taking X, Y, and Z precautions with staff and food service to ensure no one is exposed."

If you're not taking precautions to keep everyone safe, I guess your response is "we don't care."

charlotte989875 · July 31

You should respond by telling them what you’re doing to comply with the CDC recommendations in your area (ie not inviting more ppl than guideline, masks/sanitizer available, social distancing, etc.) and keep your guests safe.

If you’re not doing those things then you have a bigger problem than what people are asking about your plans.

Jen4948 · July 31

charlotte989875 said:

You should respond by telling them what you’re doing to comply with the CDC recommendations in your area (ie not inviting more ppl than guideline, masks/sanitizer available, social distancing, etc.) and keep your guests safe.

If you’re not doing those things then you have a bigger problem than what people are asking about your plans.

This. At the very least, you need to reassure guests that you are keeping their safety in mind. Otherwise, the likelihood is that even the smaller guest list you have in mind will shrink further, maybe to no guests at all.

ei34 · July 31

"You are putting everyone at risk of catching the virus by putting them in the same room together."

Your guest-that-you-can't-leave-off-the-guestlist is correct. I'm assuming it's an immediate family member, someone who "has" to be in attendance? The most polite way to respond is to move your wedding from a room to an open, outdoor space. And ditto PP, require masks and make sure there's adequate social distancing.

maine7mob · August 2

Here are a few polite responses:
"We are requiring masks and putting family groups six feet apart."
"We won't have any congregational singing" (if a church wedding)
"Our caterers are all masked and gloved and will be serving people rather than having a buffet"
"Our venue is using negative pressure ventilation"
"We'll have a livestream of our ceremony for people who aren't able to attend due to concerns about Covid-19"

Stuff like that is a very polite way to address their concerns without dismissing them.

levioosa · August 2

maine7mob said:

Here are a few polite responses:
"We are requiring masks and putting family groups six feet apart."
"We won't have any congregational singing" (if a church wedding)
"Our caterers are all masked and gloved and will be serving people rather than having a buffet"
"Our venue is using negative pressure ventilation"
"We'll have a livestream of our ceremony for people who aren't able to attend due to concerns about Covid-19"

Stuff like that is a very polite way to address their concerns without dismissing them.

Okay that just won’t be true. Very few places have negative air pressure ventilation. Hospitals don’t even have negative air pressure ventilation systems for every room. They take a tremendous amount of maintenance and they only work if the area is also sealed.

maine7mob · August 3

^^^Sarcasm. Of course venues don't have negative pressure ventilation. My point was that the OP needs to meet the objections with evidence of their concern for their guests, not polite brush-offs.

banana468 · August 3

maine7mob said:

^^^Sarcasm. Of course venues don't have negative pressure ventilation. My point was that the OP needs to meet the objections with evidence of their concern for their guests, not polite brush-offs.

Was it really sarcasm? It was in the middle of a lot of great suggestions that can help mitigate risk and while that *could* be a fantastic thought it's not viable.

Knowing that sarcasm can be hard to understand when spoken it's even harder to understand in writing and when thrown in the middle of other suggestions.

That said, I think we are all on the same page that the OP needs to be very clear ith all the precautions that will be in place at her event so any guests know how to make an informed decision regarding whether or not they will be attending.

levioosa · August 3

maine7mob said:

^^^Sarcasm. Of course venues don't have negative pressure ventilation. My point was that the OP needs to meet the objections with evidence of their concern for their guests, not polite brush-offs.

maine7mob · August 4

Agreed @banana468. But yes, it was a joke to point out the absurdity of just dismissing people's concerns.

knottie2f0f807bc72a44b9 · August 6

I've just been saying, "If you're uncomfortable, you are free to stay at home." LOL. They stop talking after that.

banana468 · August 6

knottie2f0f807bc72a44b9 said:

I've just been saying, "If you're uncomfortable, you are free to stay at home." LOL. They stop talking after that.

Because most people will not continue to engage with someone who isn't going to talk about how she's putting the health of her guests a priority during a global pandemic. This isn't a LOL momen . It's literally life and death.

charlotte989875 · August 6

knottie2f0f807bc72a44b9 said:

I've just been saying, "If you're uncomfortable, you are free to stay at home." LOL. They stop talking after that.

Well I would take this as you don’t care enough about the safety of your guests to explain what you’re doing to mitigate risks and that you really don’t care if people come or not, or get sick or not. I wouldn’t continue that conversation either but I’d sure as hell be talking about it with other potential guests.

MyNameIsNot · August 6

knottie2f0f807bc72a44b9 said:

I've just been saying, "If you're uncomfortable, you are free to stay at home." LOL. They stop talking after that.

Of course they stop talking. No one wants to engage with someone who is playing fast and lose with people's health and safety and mocks legitimate health concerns.

Jen4948 · August 6

knottie2f0f807bc72a44b9 said:

I've just been saying, "If you're uncomfortable, you are free to stay at home." LOL. They stop talking after that.

Because you're coming off like you don't care about their need not to get sick at your wedding. That's a highly valid issue, and your "LOL" treats it as a joke. Why continue interaction with someone with that attitude?

climbingwife · August 6

knottie2f0f807bc72a44b9 said:

I've just been saying, "If you're uncomfortable, you are free to stay at home." LOL. They stop talking after that.

LOL I mean, it's just a silly pandemic that 700,000 humans have died from. But yeah, don't come to my wedding if you're going to overreact. How ridiculous, right?!?

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