so i'm having 4 BM at my wedding. 2 of the BMs and I were all really close and always hung out with each other... the 3 of us would always have girls night out, etc. however, a problem arised when it involved these 2 BM. Now they are no longer talking to each other nor hanging out for months now. My wedding is in july 2011 and i dont know if one of the BM still wants to be a bridesmaid. I dont know how to ask her without her thinking i'm favoring the other one. How should I approach to her without offending her and asking if she still wants to be part of the bridal party?
Re: dilemma! two BM hate each other!
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[QUOTE]I would just ask her point blank if she is going to be uncomfortable with the other girl being in your WP. Tell her you want to understand how she is feeling and want to see how she feels.
Posted by sprtychick10[/QUOTE]
I completely disagree with this. These women are, presumably, adults. They don't have to be best buddies, or even friends to be in your WP. They have to be cordial to each other. There's no earthly reason why you shouldn't treat both of your friends as adults, and expect them to behave like it.
If the one friend wants to withdraw because she's uncomfortable, it's her responsibility to tell you, not yours to go to her. Because here's what happens. You say: "If you are too uncomfortable around Sadie to be in my wedding, I'll understand if you want to drop out." She hears "I don't want you in my wedding because you and Sadie don't get along".
FWIW: My younger DD was MOH for her sister. She and DD's FSIL did not get along at all. I think it's pretty safe to say that they abhored each other. But they were both able to be cordial when needed, and ignore each other the rest of the time. It worked out fine.
Their issue with each other? Their problem to solve, not yours.
[QUOTE]so i'm having 4 BM at my wedding. 2 of the BMs and I were all really close and always hung out with each other... the 3 of us would always have girls night out, etc. however, a problem arised when it involved these 2 BM. Now they are no longer talking to each other nor hanging out for months now. My wedding is in july 2011 and i dont know if one of the BM still wants to be a bridesmaid. I dont know how to ask her without her thinking i'm favoring the other one. How should I approach to her without offending her and asking if she still wants to be part of the bridal party?
Posted by hynhpstl[/QUOTE]
<div>JIC</div>
[QUOTE]so i'm having 4 BM at my wedding. 2 of the BMs and I were all really close and always hung out with each other... the 3 of us would always have girls night out, etc. however, a problem arised when it involved these 2 BM. Now they are no longer talking to each other nor hanging out for months now. My wedding is in july 2011 and i dont know if one of the BM still wants to be a bridesmaid. I dont know how to ask her without her thinking i'm favoring the other one. How should I approach to her without offending her and asking if she still wants to be part of the bridal party?
Posted by hynhpstl[/QUOTE]
<div>You do <em>nothing</em>. These 2 ladies are adults and as such will act like it when it comes to your wedding. They might dislike each other but I'm sure each can muster up enough maturity to be civil around one another when it comes to your wedding. If one is really uncomfortable in being in the WP she will come to you (not the other way around). If she can't stand the girl she can drop out on her own accord. Inserting yourself in the situation is a sure enough way to cause unneeded drama.</div><div>
</div><div> Trust me, I have been in a WP with a girl I hate (like really really hate) and even though the Bride knew of our mutual hate she never heard one peep from either of us nor did we cause any drama when we saw each other. Why? Because we did have one thing in common, we cared about our friend enough to not ruin her day. So the best way to deal with this is to stay out of it, unless they both cause a scene at some function (bridal shower, bach. party) this is not your job to moderate them.</div>
Dont worry about it. Its not your business even though it feels like it is.
"If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
Don't worry, be happy!
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
Leave it. If shes that uncomfortable she can come and tell you herself. If I had 2 BMs who hated each other. Tough F'n Sht! This is my wedding and I asked you to be apart of it to support me!
I was in my FSIL's wedding and dispise one of the BMs...but we put on fake smiles, made it through the day speaking as minimal as possible and went our own ways.
(I managed to shatter the glass in our coffee table so we have none!)