How to ask for monetary gifts

shabuka1 · July 2012

Long story short, Fi and I have paid for our entire wedding ourselves and it has really put a strain on us. As much as I appreciate a lovely gift, I definitely would prefer money instead. What is the best way to phrase or get the word out that we would like money as opposed to gifts? Is there a way to put it on our invites so people could know?

J&K10910 · July 2012

Quite frankly, you shouldn't have had a wedding that put a strain on you. But it's too late now.

What you can do now is have no registry (or a very small registry) and spread via WORD OF MOUTH (and ONLY word of mouth) that you'd prefer cash gifts. You may not put anything on your invitation. You may not have a shower.

PetalPockets2012 · July 2012

Ditto PP.

Don't mention gifts or money on your invites.

lyndausvi · July 2012

word of mouth.

While it might not make sense, I normally give cash anyway. I really don't care how you spend the money.

However, I would really side-eye someone telling me they would prefer money to help pay for their wedding they over-budgeted for. I would feel like I was paying my own way to a party I was suppose to be a guest at.

It would make me want to gift a small physical gift instead.

For the record we received gifts at the shower and money at the wedding without telling anyone what to gift us. Which brings me to another point. If you don't want/need gifts DO NOT have a shower.

Lolagirl2012 · July 2012

I really wonder how many people have to post "You can't ask for money on your invites" on tons of previous posts before people realize it's beyond tacky.

It's never ok, seriously never. Word of mouth is your best bet.

shabuka1 · July 2012

I'm sorry I don't remember asking if I should have had or shouldn't have had a wedding. That is besides the point. All I asked was how to about going about requesting monetary gifts. But thanks for the advice. In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask-for-monetary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40b5afbd-a47d-4510-8d70-3aae4bb37495Post:a5474370-04ac-4bb8-8040-a72c30167ed5">Re: How to ask for monetary gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]Quite frankly, you shouldn't have had a wedding that put a strain on you. But it's too late now. What you can do now is have no registry (or a very small registry) and spread via WORD OF MOUTH (and ONLY word of mouth) that you'd prefer cash gifts. You may not put anything on your invitation. You may not have a shower.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

J&K10910 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask-for-monetary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40b5afbd-a47d-4510-8d70-3aae4bb37495Post:79b136f1-51f6-4687-97d4-d3ed8ae61a31">Re: How to ask for monetary gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry I don't remember asking if I should have had or shouldn't have had a wedding. That is besides the point. All I asked was how to about going about requesting monetary gifts. But thanks for the advice. In Response to Re: How to ask for monetary gifts :
Posted by shabuka1[/QUOTE]

You don't get to control the answers you get. And I didn't say you shouldn't have had a wedding. I said you shouldn't have planned a wedding that put such a financial strain on you.

And you're welcome for the advice.

jessicabessica · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask-for-monetary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40b5afbd-a47d-4510-8d70-3aae4bb37495Post:79b136f1-51f6-4687-97d4-d3ed8ae61a31">Re: How to ask for monetary gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry I don't remember asking if I should have had or shouldn't have had a wedding. That is besides the point. All I asked was how to about going about requesting monetary gifts. But thanks for the advice. In Response to Re: How to ask for monetary gifts :
Posted by shabuka1[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't think anyone told you you shouldn't have a wedding. The (belated) advice was that you should plan a wedding you can afford. Plenty of people pay for their own weddings. </div><div>
</div>

freebread03 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask-for-monetary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40b5afbd-a47d-4510-8d70-3aae4bb37495Post:79b136f1-51f6-4687-97d4-d3ed8ae61a31">Re: How to ask for monetary gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry I don't remember asking if I should have had or shouldn't have had a wedding. That is besides the point. All I asked was how to about going about requesting monetary gifts. But thanks for the advice. In Response to Re: How to ask for monetary gifts :
Posted by shabuka1[/QUOTE]

<div>Unfortunately, when you post on a public internet forum people can answer however they choose. It's extremely rude to request any gifts at all, and even more so to put it on your invitations. Don't register, or create a very small registry like PPs suggested, and people will likely give cash. </div>

shabuka1 · July 2012

What I was getting at was that it was an unnecessary comment. All she had to do is answer the question that was posted. Point blank.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask-for-monetary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40b5afbd-a47d-4510-8d70-3aae4bb37495Post:ec819bfc-1f2a-41ff-b3b8-8db3d871406f">Re: How to ask for monetary gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to ask for monetary gifts : I don't think anyone told you you shouldn't have a wedding. The (belated) advice was that you should plan a wedding you can afford. Plenty of people pay for their own weddings.
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

kthowell · July 2012

Lol ask for what you want ..... Moneyyyy

J&K10910 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask-for-monetary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40b5afbd-a47d-4510-8d70-3aae4bb37495Post:db6d14c8-6777-4107-8ca4-859cfadbbe16">Re:How to ask for monetary gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]Lol ask for what you want ..... Moneyyyy
Posted by kthowell[/QUOTE]

Lol good advice!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girlie1030 · July 2012

It's a trend today:

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_e-board-strikes-again

kthowell · July 2012

Yes it's a trend today you ladies need to lightening up big time

J&K10910 · July 2012

Lightning up?! A thunderstorm would be great, it's so dry here.

crash2729 · July 2012

In Response to Re:How to ask for monetary gifts:[QUOTE]It's a trend today:<a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/culturalweddingboards_africanamericanweddings_eboardstrikesagain">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/culturalweddingboards_africanamericanweddings_eboardstrikesagain</a> Posted by Girlie1030[/QUOTE]
I couldn't even make it through that without laughing.

J&K10910 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask-for-monetary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40b5afbd-a47d-4510-8d70-3aae4bb37495Post:322646f7-bb0a-4952-a847-fb759330ab1d">Re: How to ask for monetary gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]It's a trend today: <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_e-board-strikes-again">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_e-board-strikes-again</a>
Posted by Girlie1030[/QUOTE]

She already had to get snippy with one of us. I think she's talking about me.

She really hurt my feeling, yo.

kthowell · July 2012

Lmao they need a mr grey in their life fifty shades ladies...... Uptight lmao smh this is like tk bridezillas

kthowell · July 2012

Lmao they need a mr grey in their life fifty shades ladies...... Uptight lmao smh this is like to bridezillas

PetalPockets2012 · July 2012

Stop being so rude J. You ain't trendy enough to keep up.

Kate61487 · July 2012

you ever notice how these questions are always phrased "monetary gift" instead of just flat out saying money?

OP - if you have to rephrase because what you actually want to ask sounds tacky - here's a tip: It's still tacky, even with the different wording.

Girlie1030 · July 2012

I married Mr. Grey.

J&K10910 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask-for-monetary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40b5afbd-a47d-4510-8d70-3aae4bb37495Post:6144829b-4f67-46c3-a609-05db503a7657">Re: How to ask for monetary gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]Stop being so rude J. You ain't trendy enough to keep up.
Posted by PetalPockets2012[/QUOTE]

It must be my "privilege." WTF, seriously?

Anysunrise · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask-for-monetary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40b5afbd-a47d-4510-8d70-3aae4bb37495Post:c228b5d4-4d97-482c-8420-801a9d9bb5c0">Re:How to ask for monetary gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]Lmao they need a mr grey in their life fifty shades ladies...... Uptight lmao smh this is like tk bridezillas
Posted by kthowell[/QUOTE]

<div>Not unless they do actually get Ian Somerhalder to play him.</div>

J&K10910 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask-for-monetary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40b5afbd-a47d-4510-8d70-3aae4bb37495Post:55a421ff-2bec-4018-a943-786e91bee528">Re: How to ask for monetary gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to ask for monetary gifts : I know this was a typo (or was it??) but I am laughing at the thought of you only have one feeling.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

It started as a typo, but then I realized it fit, and left it.

J&K10910 · July 2012

So, you guys do realize the definition of troll, right? Because on the internet, it's someone that posts with the purpose of stirring up shiiit.

In this case, that is exactly what your intention was, so don't go getting all pissy about it if someone says you're trolling this time, mmmmkay?

ZombieNates · July 2012

I heard Ian Sommerhalder.

I think on our invitations we wrote, "We'd like to be complete assholes, so money or nothing, biitches. Cover your plate. " Worked for us.

Anysunrise · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask-for-monetary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40b5afbd-a47d-4510-8d70-3aae4bb37495Post:b26f483a-56cb-4bc3-ab1f-af95a6c7f0fe">Re: How to ask for monetary gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]I heard Ian Sommerhalder. I think on our invitations we wrote, "We'd like to be complete assholes, so money or nothing, biitches. Cover your plate. " Worked for us.
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

<div>Dude, I can't believe I have to wait until friggen October for more Vampire Diaries. I hate that I love that show so much.</div>

J&K10910 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask-for-monetary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40b5afbd-a47d-4510-8d70-3aae4bb37495Post:b26f483a-56cb-4bc3-ab1f-af95a6c7f0fe">Re: How to ask for monetary gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]I heard Ian Sommerhalder. I think on our invitations we wrote, "We'd like to be complete assholes, so money or nothing, biitches. Cover your plate. " Worked for us.
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

I'd have brought you nothing and covered my plate with my napkin when I was done eating it all.

ZombieNates · July 2012

That's why we put card-collectors at the door, J--wedding planning and shiiiit.

I don't watch it, Any, but he is delicious. And I don't use that word ever.

PetalPockets2012 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask-for-monetary-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40b5afbd-a47d-4510-8d70-3aae4bb37495Post:d32f622e-ecd4-49d2-bcf1-172727c79fe8">Re: How to ask for monetary gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to ask for monetary gifts : I'd have brought you nothing and covered my plate with my napkin when I was done eating it all.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

<div>Is your napkin white?</div>

How to ask for monetary gifts

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