"D"H and I had a massive fight Satuday night/Sunday morning. We went out tailgating a late game and after the game he wanted to meet his cousin at a bar. He told her he wpuld and felt obligated. I told him early in the day, completely sober I didn't want to go. She would have underatood. I think she invites us to be nice. Still we went. I was tired. My body ached from being on my feet and walking for hours. I didn't drink amything. He did shots with her and her friends. I'm 90% sure she is gay but not out. All of her friends are. She was dancing with girls before she noticed us. She visibly stopped having as much fun when we arrived. But we already know this about it her so I mentioned to H that we should go. He thinks I'm saying that just because I'm a sour puss and am not having fun. That is true also but the only reason we were there is because he felt like he promised her but she didn't even care. We finally left after he has a other drink.
Then he wants pizza. I stand in line while he tried to get a cab. Not possible. After 30 mins I give up on the pizza line and sit on a curb. He is cutting with strangers and I order and Uber. It takes us to our car $55 for 4 miles. Whatever. H is obnoxious in the Uber and embarasaing me and the driver. We en we get in our car and I start driving home. He starts going g on and on about "should I just go by myself next time? You didn't have to come out after the game, blah blah" I did have to come out. We had one car. Miles away. One set of keys to get in the house. I tried to tell him I didn't want to talk and to just shut up. We are shouting at this point. The radio is on and "our song" comes on. The one we danced to. The one that makes me all emotional every time I hear it.
Then he punches me.
Right in the jaw. I gasp and look at him and he does it again on the other side of my face. He says "I can't fucking take it anymore". We are speeding down the freeway at 65 mph. I hit the brakes pull over, throw the car in park and it skids to a stop. I hop out and start wasking. Nothing happens. 20 seconds late I hear the zoom towards me. I jump the gaurdrail. Jump a fence and run. I hid in the bushes of a shopping center for about 40 mins while he looked for me. He would come and go. Calling my phone 12 times in an hour. Once I hadn't seen him in a while i walked 1.5 miles back to campus and took a cab home. I was going to sleep in my car but his drunk self left the keys in the front door so I bar academic myself in the guestroom. Just in case he was still raging. He was passed out drunk though.
Now I don't know what to do. 12 years of dating, 2 houses, 2 children, no abuse and now 3 weeks after we are wed he hits me. Hard. My face still hurts. I didn't talk to him yesterday except right before bed. He tried to apologize and say it was a mistake. He was drunk he didn't realize. Should never have said or done the things he did. I had no sympathy and couldn't even look him in the face. He slept in the guest room.
I'm at work now and cannot concentrate. I want to curl up in a ball under my desk and dissappear. I don't know who to talk to and what to do. He has been the only person I go to for years. Now I cant. All of our friends are couple friends. I can't tell them. Or the parents. Not yet anyway. I was supposed to do thank you cards yesterday. I almost wrote checks and sent them all back.
Thanks if you go through this. I'm a mess today. No tears at all through all of this. Maybe if I can cry I'll feel better.