Hey you pregnant people

lurkergirl · January 2015

Well duh you just put the whole thing in the range rover @magicink

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

lurkergirl said:

Well duh you have your chauffeur just put the whole thing in the range rover @magicink

FTFY.

SmileDamnit · January 2015

And here I thought the 400 buck BOB stroller, which IS all-terrain and DOES fold up, was expensive. Ha! It's chump change to the chauffeur needing stoller!

fwtx5815 · January 2015

lolo883 said:

lurkergirl said:

Well duh you have your chauffeur just put the whole thing in the range rover @magicink

FTFY.

My thoughts when someone mentioned the no cup holder/place to put a diaper bag were that the nanny/assistant would be behind me with all that. Obviously.

VulgarGirl · January 2015

So this 4k stroller is gonna be more then 4k. I need a Range Rover, a butler, a nanny, an assistant and the stroller. Fuck...is there a groupon for this?

SBmini · January 2015

MagicInk said:

SBmini said:

MagicInk said:

@SBmini so you want to be able to offend people rather then taking a split second to think "How are my words going to impact another human?"....oh yeah I long for the days were people called me a fucking dyke and no one said shit because "they're just words". Yeah...those were the days.

You are putting words into my mouth and choosing to interpret my thoughts in a way that is completely counter to what I am trying to say. No where did I say that people should use slurs.

You said we used to not be afraid to offend and now we are. So what did you mean? Some of those offensive things were slurs. But we didn't call them slurs. They were just words used to describe a group of people. Like colored. We don't call African Americans colored anymore. But it's not a slur. It's just offensive.

Differentiating between sex and gender is important. Because gender is fluid and non-binary. It's not just male and female. There's a whole world of in between. Sex simply refers to what you have in between your legs. That's a lot more black and white.

My point is if you are speaking to someone and they ask the gender of your baby you should not lecture and berate them for using the wrong word. And that person should not be made to feel embarrassed or afraid to ask you more questions because of the word use. My point is that looking down on others for using the wrong word does not support an inclusive culture but instead supports separation and exclusion. If people are made to feel uncomfortable around people who are different from them because they don't speak that person's distinct language, that person may choose not to associate with those people. This restricts learning and understanding.

Language is fluid. Definitions change and words are created. It is difficult for the average person to be aware of every update. There are very few experts in the subtleties of the English language. Not even people in this thread are all truly versed on the meaning of gender vs sex. You look up gender in any dictionary and it mentions sex. It also mentions society and culture- meaning that gender isn't just defined by the person, but by society as well.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gender?

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

Who lectured or berated anyone?!

WhatawagSBNy · January 2015

Some people from work and the sister of one and a new therapist came over today bearing gifts, they planned a shower with H permission (encouragement ) to hold it here. Lovely selection of necessaries, enough onesies to fill a laundry basket.

The 2 people I never met , a friend's sister and the therapist new since I stopped work, were not only belly rubbers. They asked weird questions. Like - oh, you're having twins, is that one set you know two, or twins with an s like it will be four but of 2 kinds?
And - Well if you did not have an ultrasound to find out boy or girl, can your doctor tell from listening if they are identical or not?
All
the people except these 2 are in medical or social work fields, so they were choking trying to not laugh.
When the 6yr old twins from downstairs came in looking for their Mom, The Airhead said "Your Mom said you are twins! That is so exciting! Are you identical twins?"

A little unclear on the meaning of identical.
Since the BOY is a tall, large frame 70 lb with nearly black hair and brown eyes, and the GIRL a petite 45lb blond and blue.
After cleaning up the cocoa I blew out my nose...

It really is hard to gracefully deal with such stupidity from someone wearing her college sorority sweater.

VulgarGirl · January 2015

lolo883 said:

Who lectured or berated anyone?!

You did. When you nicely said to @loveislouder "hey gender and sex are different", that was clearly berating and super mean of you. Even though she was all "oh you're right my bad" and has continued to participate on this thread so is clearly not running off or embarrassed. But it was berating. And she's afraid now.

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

MagicInk said:

lolo883 said:

Who lectured or berated anyone?!

You did. When you nicely said to @loveislouder "hey gender and sex are different", that was clearly berating and super mean of you. Even though she was all "oh you're right my bad" and has continued to participate on this thread so is clearly not running off or embarrassed. But it was berating. And she's afraid now.

Well shit. And @jenna8984‌ must have been terrified when she asked "hey what's the difference?" and a few people answered kindly. I'm obviously a horrible person.

fwtx5815 · January 2015

My point is if you are speaking to someone and they ask the gender of your baby you should not lecture and berate them for using the wrong word. And that person should not be made to feel embarrassed or afraid to ask you more questions because of the word use. My point is that looking down on others for using the wrong word does not support an inclusive culture but instead supports separation and exclusion. If people are made to feel uncomfortable around people who are different from them because they don't speak that person's distinct language, that person may choose not to associate with those people. This restricts learning and understanding.

Language is fluid. Definitions change and words are created. It is difficult for the average person to be aware of every update. There are very few experts in the subtleties of the English language. Not even people in this thread are all truly versed on the meaning of gender vs sex. You look up gender in any dictionary and it mentions sex. It also mentions society and culture- meaning that gender isn't just defined by the person, but by society as well.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gender?

I also don't think there was any berating going on. You yourself have said that language is fluid, so the issue here is that some people are bringing attention to the fact that, these days, it's more socially conscious to use the words 'gender' and 'sex' differently, which is shining a light on the fluidity of the language. In the past, they were mostly used interchangeably. Now, there's a big effort to be more aware of the meanings and appropriate usage. Pointing out this shift does not equate to lecturing, berating, or attacking. This is society taking control of the language to avoid marginalization. There's no need to be offended; it's just the nature of language. Etf grammar

WhatawagSBNy · January 2015

I was brought up to use the words gender and sex differently, but in many parts of the country the colloquial usage which is accepted as correct is that gender can be used to describe biological sex.

Before posting I just looked it up in my collegiate edition of Merriam-Webster and it does say one correct usage is gender = of male or female sex.

In hospitals I have worked in, including in the army, sometimes admission and physical exam forms say gender: M or F. And in many states and still some Federal statutes, when they refer to staffing ) care facilities they require same gender staffing in girls dormitories. Bathroom and spa shower rooms same gender staffing, and a host of legal uses still in effect are not talking about gender identity, they are using one of the accepted (for centuries, at least as far back as Shakespeare ) meanings which is male or female by biology.

Shades of meaning in current usage are often drawn between the words sex and gender, but that does not make someone using them as synonyms wrong. Just using a different one of the correct meanings.

ashley8918 · January 2015

SBmini said:

MagicInk said:

SBmini said:

MagicInk said:

@SBmini so you want to be able to offend people rather then taking a split second to think "How are my words going to impact another human?"....oh yeah I long for the days were people called me a fucking dyke and no one said shit because "they're just words". Yeah...those were the days.

You are putting words into my mouth and choosing to interpret my thoughts in a way that is completely counter to what I am trying to say. No where did I say that people should use slurs.

You said we used to not be afraid to offend and now we are. So what did you mean? Some of those offensive things were slurs. But we didn't call them slurs. They were just words used to describe a group of people. Like colored. We don't call African Americans colored anymore. But it's not a slur. It's just offensive.

Differentiating between sex and gender is important. Because gender is fluid and non-binary. It's not just male and female. There's a whole world of in between. Sex simply refers to what you have in between your legs. That's a lot more black and white.

My point is if you are speaking to someone and they ask the gender of your baby you should not lecture and berate them for using the wrong word. And that person should not be made to feel embarrassed or afraid to ask you more questions because of the word use. My point is that looking down on others for using the wrong word does not support an inclusive culture but instead supports separation and exclusion. If people are made to feel uncomfortable around people who are different from them because they don't speak that person's distinct language, that person may choose not to associate with those people. This restricts learning and understanding.

Language is fluid. Definitions change and words are created. It is difficult for the average person to be aware of every update. There are very few experts in the subtleties of the English language. Not even people in this thread are all truly versed on the meaning of gender vs sex. You look up gender in any dictionary and it mentions sex. It also mentions society and culture- meaning that gender isn't just defined by the person, but by society as well.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gender?

Disregarding the rest of your post (beacaus, just no), I will say that I agree with the bolded. No one should be berated for mistakenly using the wrong word. Good thing that never happened during the course of this discussion.

esstee33 · January 2015

SBmini said:

MagicInk said:

SBmini said:

MagicInk said:

@SBmini so you want to be able to offend people rather then taking a split second to think "How are my words going to impact another human?"....oh yeah I long for the days were people called me a fucking dyke and no one said shit because "they're just words". Yeah...those were the days.

You are putting words into my mouth and choosing to interpret my thoughts in a way that is completely counter to what I am trying to say. No where did I say that people should use slurs.

You said we used to not be afraid to offend and now we are. So what did you mean? Some of those offensive things were slurs. But we didn't call them slurs. They were just words used to describe a group of people. Like colored. We don't call African Americans colored anymore. But it's not a slur. It's just offensive.

Differentiating between sex and gender is important. Because gender is fluid and non-binary. It's not just male and female. There's a whole world of in between. Sex simply refers to what you have in between your legs. That's a lot more black and white.

My point is if you are speaking to someone and they ask the gender of your baby you should not lecture and berate them for using the wrong word. And that person should not be made to feel embarrassed or afraid to ask you more questions because of the word use. My point is that looking down on others for using the wrong word does not support an inclusive culture but instead supports separation and exclusion. If people are made to feel uncomfortable around people who are different from them because they don't speak that person's distinct language, that person may choose not to associate with those people. This restricts learning and understanding.

Language is fluid. Definitions change and words are created. It is difficult for the average person to be aware of every update. There are very few experts in the subtleties of the English language. Not even people in this thread are all truly versed on the meaning of gender vs sex. You look up gender in any dictionary and it mentions sex. It also mentions society and culture- meaning that gender isn't just defined by the person, but by society as well.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gender?

Seriously, though, you're the only one in this thread being oversensitive.

It's appalling that anyone would think it's better to use exclusive words because we've gotten "too sensitive" to be inclusive. Not to mention it's actually incorrect word usage. I mean, if you want to continue to use the words interchangeably, you're free to do so, but it makes you look not only uneducated, but also intolerant of the LGBTQ population. From what I've seen of your posts, you're neither of those things. Why would you want to seem to be?

lurkergirl · January 2015

I mean are we really having this conversation? You realize there was a time in our country's not so distant past that people said the same thing about phrases like colored people, right? And I dare you to tell someone whose had racial slurs thrown at them that they have no right to be offended by speech.

(Okay now for a funny story about the phrase colored people: When my mom was a little kid- 1960s - she heard the neighbors talking about the colored family that would be moving in soon. Mom got SO excited and waited and waited and stalked their house on moving day...and was very disappointed to discover that it was just a black family and not a rainbow colored family. )

SBmini · January 2015

esstee33 said:

SBmini said:

MagicInk said:

SBmini said:

MagicInk said:

@SBmini so you want to be able to offend people rather then taking a split second to think "How are my words going to impact another human?"....oh yeah I long for the days were people called me a fucking dyke and no one said shit because "they're just words". Yeah...those were the days.

You are putting words into my mouth and choosing to interpret my thoughts in a way that is completely counter to what I am trying to say. No where did I say that people should use slurs.

You said we used to not be afraid to offend and now we are. So what did you mean? Some of those offensive things were slurs. But we didn't call them slurs. They were just words used to describe a group of people. Like colored. We don't call African Americans colored anymore. But it's not a slur. It's just offensive.

Differentiating between sex and gender is important. Because gender is fluid and non-binary. It's not just male and female. There's a whole world of in between. Sex simply refers to what you have in between your legs. That's a lot more black and white.

My point is if you are speaking to someone and they ask the gender of your baby you should not lecture and berate them for using the wrong word. And that person should not be made to feel embarrassed or afraid to ask you more questions because of the word use. My point is that looking down on others for using the wrong word does not support an inclusive culture but instead supports separation and exclusion. If people are made to feel uncomfortable around people who are different from them because they don't speak that person's distinct language, that person may choose not to associate with those people. This restricts learning and understanding.

Language is fluid. Definitions change and words are created. It is difficult for the average person to be aware of every update. There are very few experts in the subtleties of the English language. Not even people in this thread are all truly versed on the meaning of gender vs sex. You look up gender in any dictionary and it mentions sex. It also mentions society and culture- meaning that gender isn't just defined by the person, but by society as well.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gender?

Seriously, though, you're the only one in this thread being oversensitive.

It's appalling that anyone would think it's better to use exclusive words because we've gotten "too sensitive" to be inclusive. Not to mention it's actually incorrect word usage. I mean, if you want to continue to use the words interchangeably, you're free to do so, but it makes you look not only uneducated, but also intolerant of the LGBTQ population. From what I've seen of your posts, you're neither of those things. Why would you want to seem to be?

So you know how I feel now? And have you seen me use the words interchangeably? Because I have not been. My point is clear and simply. One should not look down on another person because they do not have exact precision of the ever changing English language. That is all. That is my point.

ashley8918 · January 2015

SBmini said:

So you know how I feel now? And have you seen me use the words interchangeably? Because I have not been. My point is clear and simply. One should not look down on another person because they do not have exact precision of the ever changing English language. That is all. That is my point.

If this is truly the only point you are trying to make (though your other posts suggest otherwise), then I don't understand why you felt the need to make said point here. Because no one "looked down upon", "berated", or "lectured" (or any of the other words you have thrown around) anyone else about their incorrect use of the word.

What did happen in this thread is someone being politely corrected, and taking no offense to being corrected; and others asking for further clarification regarding the meanings of the words.

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

SBmini said:
So you know how I feel now? And have you seen me use the words interchangeably? Because I have not been. My point is clear and simply. One should not look down on another person because they do not have exact precision of the ever changing English language. That is all. That is my point.

Cool, me neither. I also feel that one should not add mint to chocolate, be a fair-weather sports fan, or wear socks with sandals. Those things are all equally relevant to the topic at hand.

I do fail to realize though how not looking down upon someone with a less-than-precise knowledge of the ever-changing English language has anything to do with praising storefronts in England for wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, and Americans being hyper-sensitive. Must be my misunderstanding of the English language that's gotten me confused as to how that's relevant to your only point, ensuring no one gets berated.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

esstee33 · January 2015

SBmini said:

esstee33 said:

SBmini said:

MagicInk said:

SBmini said:

MagicInk said:

@SBmini so you want to be able to offend people rather then taking a split second to think "How are my words going to impact another human?"....oh yeah I long for the days were people called me a fucking dyke and no one said shit because "they're just words". Yeah...those were the days.

You are putting words into my mouth and choosing to interpret my thoughts in a way that is completely counter to what I am trying to say. No where did I say that people should use slurs.

You said we used to not be afraid to offend and now we are. So what did you mean? Some of those offensive things were slurs. But we didn't call them slurs. They were just words used to describe a group of people. Like colored. We don't call African Americans colored anymore. But it's not a slur. It's just offensive.

Differentiating between sex and gender is important. Because gender is fluid and non-binary. It's not just male and female. There's a whole world of in between. Sex simply refers to what you have in between your legs. That's a lot more black and white.

My point is if you are speaking to someone and they ask the gender of your baby you should not lecture and berate them for using the wrong word. And that person should not be made to feel embarrassed or afraid to ask you more questions because of the word use. My point is that looking down on others for using the wrong word does not support an inclusive culture but instead supports separation and exclusion. If people are made to feel uncomfortable around people who are different from them because they don't speak that person's distinct language, that person may choose not to associate with those people. This restricts learning and understanding.

Language is fluid. Definitions change and words are created. It is difficult for the average person to be aware of every update. There are very few experts in the subtleties of the English language. Not even people in this thread are all truly versed on the meaning of gender vs sex. You look up gender in any dictionary and it mentions sex. It also mentions society and culture- meaning that gender isn't just defined by the person, but by society as well.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gender?

Seriously, though, you're the only one in this thread being oversensitive.

It's appalling that anyone would think it's better to use exclusive words because we've gotten "too sensitive" to be inclusive. Not to mention it's actually incorrect word usage. I mean, if you want to continue to use the words interchangeably, you're free to do so, but it makes you look not only uneducated, but also intolerant of the LGBTQ population. From what I've seen of your posts, you're neither of those things. Why would you want to seem to be?

So you know how I feel now? And have you seen me use the words interchangeably? Because I have not been. My point is clear and simply. One should not look down on another person because they do not have exact precision of the ever changing English language. That is all. That is my point.

Oh, no, I certainly don't know how you feel. But I do have an at least average reading comprehension, and I know the words you've said, which are quite different from what you're saying your point is.

The post of yours I'm taking specific issue with is this:

SBmini said:

lolo883 said:

I get so ragey when people use "free speech" inappropriately. The constitution does not guarantee that (general) you can say whatever you want always, and use words however you think they ought to be used because 'mericuh. It guarantees freedom from criminal persecution because of the things you say. It doesn't guarantee you freedom from people thinking you're an assclown for the things you say. Mildly correcting someone that it's more proper to use sex rather than gender is not infringing upon a damn thing.

That's fine- think I'm an assclown, I'm not offended by that. I agree with you completely. People using 'freedom of speech' as a protection against the opinions of others is hypocritical and silly. Again, it goes to my point that you have no right to not be offended. People can say what ever they want. They can believe what ever they want. And you can feel however you want about what they say.

The point I'm trying to make is that as a society we are getting way too sensitive. In London every single store said "Merry Christmas" in the window and it was refreshing. People weren't afraid to offend and in America, people used to not be afraid to offend either. I wish we'd get back to that point of self expression without needing to walk on eggshells for fear that someone may not like our word choice. This, I worry, closes us off more than it opens us up. If we become afraid to express ourselves in front of people who are different than us, then we are more likely to surround ourselves by the same. This runs the risk of making people ignorant.

But let's get back to the original point here. We are talking about the sex organs of a fetus. An organism that currently does not have thoughts or an opinion on how they define their sexuality. And as I understand the definition of gender, it refers to culture and society's understanding of sex- not an individuals. So if I dress my little girl up in ribbons and bows, society understands her gender as female. But if my daughter identifies as male and takes steps to look or become a male, then society understands his gender as male. I am not incorrect for dressing my little girl up as a girl, and society is not incorrect for identifying his/her gender.

Gender can be about how society understands it. But it's not always. Gender is also, much of the time, a performance. I identify as female, and I take steps to perform that gender. But I also wear pants, which was, not too long ago, traditionally male gender performance. But it's not binary, right? Gender can be many things. Sex can't, typically, and that's why there is a distinction.

You're right that things are fluid -- especially language, but also gender roles, and what we understand and categorize as performance belonging to different genders, etc. The point that basically everyone has been trying to make to you, is that it's always better to be on the forward-motion side of the fluidity in cases like this. Why dig in your heels and insist that people who want the gender/sex differentiation to be more noted are being oversensitive? In that case, not only are you being oversensitive, you're also being deliberately exclusionary and very hurtful. I fail to see how that's a better option to you, specifically you, because you don't seem like that kind of person.

Also, in the case of infants and toddlers, you're performing their gender for them, based on your societally-endorsed notions of what constitutes a gender.

Furthermore, nobody was berated or made to feel stupid. Who are you white knighting for exactly?

velvethelicopters · January 2015

MagicInk said:

lolo883 said:

dallasbetch said:

lurkergirl said:

dallasbetch said:

velvethelicopters said:
$2000 on a stroller? Like for ONE baby? I get that triplet strollers and up are $$$$$ but for ONE kid? Fuck no.

Then again, I bought two car seats at $500 each. So I probably don't have much room to judge. But the seats are awesome and easy to fit on a plane (beast to carry on at 50 pounds) and my girls are still happily rear facing at 5.
I'd totally drop $$$ on a really cool pram like this one. Judge away. I bet it's such a smooth ride
____________

Wait it's $2k and doesn't come with cup holders and a place to shove the diaper bag? Worthless.
I have no idea what it costs - I didn't throw out that $2k figure. I just know it's fucking fab

That one is actually $4k.

Do you know how much booze you can buy wiht $4K? Fuck that. Mama needs a drink. Sorry baby. My stroller came from a yard sale. I survived.

I am in love with the Bugaboo strollers though. They're in the $1K range. I'm not saying we'll get one, I just like them.

Get a Britax B-Ready instead. Very similar.....

Sugargirl1019 · January 2015

So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party!

ashley8918 · January 2015

Sugargirl1019 said:

So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party!

No. They should have a party at all. It's AW-ish as hell, gift-grabby, and pretty fucking pointless.

But, yes. If they absolutely insisted, the correct party title IS sex reveal party.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

Sugargirl1019 said:

So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party!

Nobody ever said fuck the people who accidentally use an inaccurate word.

Honestly though, "gender reveal" is probably pretty accurate in that context. The parents are revealing which gender they'll be portraying the baby as socially. In some cases, it may not even match what the baby's sex is.

But in most cases I'm sure people genuinely don't know the difference (I didn't until recently) and only say "gender" because they think it sounds less naughty than "sex."

JaniV123 · January 2015

I have always told FI that I don't want to know. My mom didnt know with me because I wouldnt show myself on the U/s. And Id love to be surprised. But we'll see what happens in 5 years

VulgarGirl · January 2015

Everything @lolo883 said.

Though I totally wanna throw a sex reveal party. Just to see what people would show up expecting to happen.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

southernbelle0915 · January 2015

Sugargirl1019 said:
So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party!

Fucking seriously? Are you Mrs. Everhart now? Popping into threads to poke the bear? Well since we're being sarcastic and snarky....

Omg YES!!!! Like, it would totally be a "sex reveal" party. You're so astute for making that observation! It's almost like you read the thread and understand/have compassion for the difference. YAY!!!!!!!

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

MagicInk said:

Everything @lolo883 said. Though I totally wanna throw a sex reveal party. Just to see what people would show up expecting to happen.

I think you should jump out of a vagina-shaped cake.

Hey you pregnant people

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