Hey you pregnant people

chibiyui

lolo883 said:

MagicInk said:

Everything @lolo883 said. Though I totally wanna throw a sex reveal party. Just to see what people would show up expecting to happen.

I think you should jump out of a vagina-shaped cake.

Annnnnnd I googled Vagina Cakes.

Here's some Dentata Bitches.

theartistformerlyknownas

chibiyui said:

lolo883 said:

MagicInk said:

Everything @lolo883 said. Though I totally wanna throw a sex reveal party. Just to see what people would show up expecting to happen.

I think you should jump out of a vagina-shaped cake.

Annnnnnd I googled Vagina Cakes.

Here's some Dentata Bitches.

Thanks for the nightmares, chib!

chibiyui

Must spread the suffering of my poor Google descision.

lovegood90

So I originally didn't bother looking in this thread because I'm not pregnant, never want to be pregnant and babies don't interest me (Sorry I don't know how to say that without sounding like an asshole).

But then I was like damn this thread is 8 pages did some shit go down? Then on the last page I see this terrifying vagina cake. Oh I'll be lurking all right.

Sugargirl1019

southernbelle0915 said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party!

Fucking seriously? Are you Mrs. Everhart now? Popping into threads to poke the bear? Well since we're being sarcastic and snarky....

Omg YES!!!! Like, it would totally be a "sex reveal" party. You're so astute for making that observation! It's almost like you read the thread and understand/have compassion for the difference. YAY!!!!!!!

What? Sorry I was just trying to add something to giggle at. Wasn't trying to make anyone angry.

ETA: I take a lot of offense at being likened to her!

velvethelicopters

If you jump out of a vagina shaped cake....

Do you wear the vagina skirt dress or the crochet tampon dress?

velvethelicopters

My question on the reveal gimme gift grabs....

Is it based on ultrasound or the various DNA testing options?

Because if baby doesn't agree, that ultrasound can be wrong. I know of two boys and one girl who were surprised sex change from ultrasound to birth.

One of the boy, Mom (a coworker) stuck him in a pink teddy bear sleeper to come home. She had it, it was clean and warm, he was wearing it. Plus, he was rather adorable in it.

ashley8918

velvethelicopters said:

My question on the reveal gimme gift grabs.... Is it based on ultrasound or the various DNA testing options? Because if baby doesn't agree, that ultrasound can be wrong. I know of two boys and one girl who were surprised sex change from ultrasound to birth. One of the boy, Mom (a coworker) stuck him in a pink teddy bear sleeper to come home. She had it, it was clean and warm, he was wearing it. Plus, he was rather adorable in it.

I'm 99% sure it's ultrasound.

velvethelicopters

ashley8918 said:

velvethelicopters said:

My question on the reveal gimme gift grabs....

Is it based on ultrasound or the various DNA testing options?

Because if baby doesn't agree, that ultrasound can be wrong. I know of two boys and one girl who were surprised sex change from ultrasound to birth.

One of the boy, Mom (a coworker) stuck him in a pink teddy bear sleeper to come home. She had it, it was clean and warm, he was wearing it. Plus, he was rather adorable in it.

I'm 99% sure it's ultrasound.

I may not have much of one, but when I hear the meltdown over baby having a sex change in utero, I am going to laugh my ass off.

holyguacamole79

velvethelicopters said:

My question on the reveal gimme gift grabs.... Is it based on ultrasound or the various DNA testing options? Because if baby doesn't agree, that ultrasound can be wrong. I know of two boys and one girl who were surprised sex change from ultrasound to birth. One of the boy, Mom (a coworker) stuck him in a pink teddy bear sleeper to come home. She had it, it was clean and warm, he was wearing it. Plus, he was rather adorable in it.

My sister had her gender reveal party on Saturday. They based it off the ultrasound. And fortunately it wasn't a gift-giving event. The invitation just said "gender reveal party" and gifts were not brought / opened.

jdluvr06

chibiyui said:

lolo883 said:

MagicInk said:

Everything @lolo883 said. Though I totally wanna throw a sex reveal party. Just to see what people would show up expecting to happen.

I think you should jump out of a vagina-shaped cake.

Annnnnnd I googled Vagina Cakes.

Here's some Dentata Bitches.

That is going to give me nightmares.

CamiSelene

I like the idea behind gender reveal parties (obviously sans gifts unless it was done combined with a shower like lolo had mentioned...) but just can't help but think nobody freaking cares but us and our immediate families who, with me being me, would end up already knowing prior because I can't keep a secret. Hell! I'm having a hard enough time keeping that fact that I am pregnant a secret (only a few more weeks till I can blab!). I have had a few good friends that did gender reveal parties and I'm just like "that's nice".... One thing I did really kind of like though that a friend did was a gender reveal photo shoot instead of a party. It was cute. She wore a white tee shirt, her husband stood behind her with his hand on her bump in the shape of a heart and when he lifted his hands they revealed blue paint on his palms and a blue heart transferred onto the shirt with the caption "it's a boy!" Eta: typo

PrettyGirlLost

lolo883 said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party!

Nobody ever said fuck the people who accidentally use an inaccurate word.

Honestly though, "gender reveal" is probably pretty accurate in that context. The parents are revealing which gender they'll be portraying the baby as socially. In some cases, it may not even match what the baby's sex is.

But in most cases I'm sure people genuinely don't know the difference (I didn't until recently) and only say "gender" because they think it sounds less naughty than "sex." 

What in the actual fuck now?!

How can parents choose which gender an infant identifies with?  At that point the baby can't even control it's own bowels, let alone have any concept of complex social constructs.

I think that decisions on which gender a person identifies with should be left up to that individual- am I wrong here?

One of the most fascinating and disheartening psychology classes I ever took was on human sex and gender.  I say disheartening because when we came to read about and discuss the case of David Reimer I was so absolutely furious at Dr. Money for his quakery and the damage he caused David and his brother and the rest of his family:

http://www.healthyplace.com/gender/inside-intersexuality/the-true-story-of-john-/-joan/

This is in part why I feel that people should choose their gender for themselves.

Again, an infant has no concept of any social constructs

theartistformerlyknownas

 

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party!

Nobody ever said fuck the people who accidentally use an inaccurate word.

Honestly though, "gender reveal" is probably pretty accurate in that context. The parents are revealing which gender they'll be portraying the baby as socially. In some cases, it may not even match what the baby's sex is.

But in most cases I'm sure people genuinely don't know the difference (I didn't until recently) and only say "gender" because they think it sounds less naughty than "sex." 

What in the actual fuck now?!

How can parents choose which gender an infant identifies with?  At that point the baby can't even control it's own bowels, let alone have any concept of complex social constructs.

I think that decisions on which gender a person identifies with should be left up to that individual- am I wrong here?

One of the most fascinating and disheartening psychology classes I ever took was on human sex and gender.  I say disheartening because when we came to read about and discuss the case of David Reimer I was so absolutely furious at Dr. Money for his quakery and the damage he caused David and his brother and the rest of his family:

http://www.healthyplace.com/gender/inside-intersexuality/the-true-story-of-john-/-joan/

This is in part why I feel that people should choose their gender for themselves.

Again, an infant has no concept of any social constructs

When did I say anything about the baby's choice, or what they identify with?! I said the parents' choice to PORTRAY the child as a certain gender. There are some parents choosing to dress their baby as a boy that's born a girl, or vice versa. Or not identify their baby with any gender until it's old enough to identify with one independently. That's what I'm talking about - that you could have parents announcing THEIR CHOICE that the baby's GENDER is male, even though the baby's sex is female. 

PrettyGirlLost

lolo883 said:

 

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party!

Nobody ever said fuck the people who accidentally use an inaccurate word.

Honestly though, "gender reveal" is probably pretty accurate in that context. The parents are revealing which gender they'll be portraying the baby as socially. In some cases, it may not even match what the baby's sex is.

But in most cases I'm sure people genuinely don't know the difference (I didn't until recently) and only say "gender" because they think it sounds less naughty than "sex." 

What in the actual fuck now?!

How can parents choose which gender an infant identifies with?  At that point the baby can't even control it's own bowels, let alone have any concept of complex social constructs.

I think that decisions on which gender a person identifies with should be left up to that individual- am I wrong here?

One of the most fascinating and disheartening psychology classes I ever took was on human sex and gender.  I say disheartening because when we came to read about and discuss the case of David Reimer I was so absolutely furious at Dr. Money for his quakery and the damage he caused David and his brother and the rest of his family:

http://www.healthyplace.com/gender/inside-intersexuality/the-true-story-of-john-/-joan/

This is in part why I feel that people should choose their gender for themselves.

Again, an infant has no concept of any social constructs

When did I say anything about the baby's choice, or what they identify with?! I said the parents' choice to PORTRAY the child as a certain gender. Yes, I know what you said.  There are some parents choosing to dress their baby as a boy that's born a girl, or vice versa.   This just makes no sense to me.  Or not identify their baby with any gender until it's old enough to identify with one independently.   This logic makes more sense, not that I necessarily agree with it.  That's what I'm talking about - that you could have parents announcing THEIR CHOICE that the baby's GENDER is male, even though the baby's sex is female.   Why, though?  Why pretend your male child is female?  I just don't get it.

flantastic

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

 

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party!

Nobody ever said fuck the people who accidentally use an inaccurate word.

Honestly though, "gender reveal" is probably pretty accurate in that context. The parents are revealing which gender they'll be portraying the baby as socially. In some cases, it may not even match what the baby's sex is.

But in most cases I'm sure people genuinely don't know the difference (I didn't until recently) and only say "gender" because they think it sounds less naughty than "sex." 

What in the actual fuck now?!

How can parents choose which gender an infant identifies with?  At that point the baby can't even control it's own bowels, let alone have any concept of complex social constructs.

I think that decisions on which gender a person identifies with should be left up to that individual- am I wrong here?

One of the most fascinating and disheartening psychology classes I ever took was on human sex and gender.  I say disheartening because when we came to read about and discuss the case of David Reimer I was so absolutely furious at Dr. Money for his quakery and the damage he caused David and his brother and the rest of his family:

http://www.healthyplace.com/gender/inside-intersexuality/the-true-story-of-john-/-joan/

This is in part why I feel that people should choose their gender for themselves.

Again, an infant has no concept of any social constructs

When did I say anything about the baby's choice, or what they identify with?! I said the parents' choice to PORTRAY the child as a certain gender. Yes, I know what you said.  There are some parents choosing to dress their baby as a boy that's born a girl, or vice versa.   This just makes no sense to me.  Or not identify their baby with any gender until it's old enough to identify with one independently.   This logic makes more sense, not that I necessarily agree with it.  That's what I'm talking about - that you could have parents announcing THEIR CHOICE that the baby's GENDER is male, even though the baby's sex is female.   Why, though?  Why pretend your male child is female?  I just don't get it.

Yeah, its seems like the parents making a choice on behalf of their child where the gender doesn't match the sex could be just as damaging as forcing them to identify their gender with the sex they do have.

The name "gender reveal" would be accurate if that's what they're choosing to do at the party, but I think it's a bad idea.

PrettyGirlLost

flantastic said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

 

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party!

Nobody ever said fuck the people who accidentally use an inaccurate word.

Honestly though, "gender reveal" is probably pretty accurate in that context. The parents are revealing which gender they'll be portraying the baby as socially. In some cases, it may not even match what the baby's sex is.

But in most cases I'm sure people genuinely don't know the difference (I didn't until recently) and only say "gender" because they think it sounds less naughty than "sex." 

What in the actual fuck now?!

How can parents choose which gender an infant identifies with?  At that point the baby can't even control it's own bowels, let alone have any concept of complex social constructs.

I think that decisions on which gender a person identifies with should be left up to that individual- am I wrong here?

One of the most fascinating and disheartening psychology classes I ever took was on human sex and gender.  I say disheartening because when we came to read about and discuss the case of David Reimer I was so absolutely furious at Dr. Money for his quakery and the damage he caused David and his brother and the rest of his family:

http://www.healthyplace.com/gender/inside-intersexuality/the-true-story-of-john-/-joan/

This is in part why I feel that people should choose their gender for themselves.

Again, an infant has no concept of any social constructs

When did I say anything about the baby's choice, or what they identify with?! I said the parents' choice to PORTRAY the child as a certain gender. Yes, I know what you said.  There are some parents choosing to dress their baby as a boy that's born a girl, or vice versa.   This just makes no sense to me.  Or not identify their baby with any gender until it's old enough to identify with one independently.   This logic makes more sense, not that I necessarily agree with it.  That's what I'm talking about - that you could have parents announcing THEIR CHOICE that the baby's GENDER is male, even though the baby's sex is female.   Why, though?  Why pretend your male child is female?  I just don't get it.

Yeah, its seems like the parents making a choice on behalf of their child where the gender doesn't match the sex could be just as damaging as forcing them to identify their gender with the sex they do have.

The name "gender reveal" would be accurate if that's what they're choosing to do at the party, but I think it's a bad idea.

That's pretty much what poor David Reimer illustrated with his own tortured life.

southernbelle0915

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party!

Nobody ever said fuck the people who accidentally use an inaccurate word.

Honestly though, "gender reveal" is probably pretty accurate in that context. The parents are revealing which gender they'll be portraying the baby as socially. In some cases, it may not even match what the baby's sex is.

But in most cases I'm sure people genuinely don't know the difference (I didn't until recently) and only say "gender" because they think it sounds less naughty than "sex." 

What in the actual fuck now?!

How can parents choose which gender an infant identifies with?  At that point the baby can't even control it's own bowels, let alone have any concept of complex social constructs.

I think that decisions on which gender a person identifies with should be left up to that individual- am I wrong here?

One of the most fascinating and disheartening psychology classes I ever took was on human sex and gender.  I say disheartening because when we came to read about and discuss the case of David Reimer I was so absolutely furious at Dr. Money for his quakery and the damage he caused David and his brother and the rest of his family:

http://www.healthyplace.com/gender/inside-intersexuality/the-true-story-of-john-/-joan/

This is in part why I feel that people should choose their gender for themselves.

Again, an infant has no concept of any social constructs

When did I say anything about the baby's choice, or what they identify with?! I said the parents' choice to PORTRAY the child as a certain gender. Yes, I know what you said.  There are some parents choosing to dress their baby as a boy that's born a girl, or vice versa.   This just makes no sense to me.  Or not identify their baby with any gender until it's old enough to identify with one independently.   This logic makes more sense, not that I necessarily agree with it.  That's what I'm talking about - that you could have parents announcing THEIR CHOICE that the baby's GENDER is male, even though the baby's sex is female.   Why, though?  Why pretend your male child is female?  I just don't get it.

I will probably dress my little oven bun with whatever I feel like and is comfortable for the him/her. I wouldn't consciously be like "I'm going to to stick it to the world!! See this male baby, well he's wearing a dress. WHAT NOW WORLD?!?!?"

It would be more like, "these fire truck pants and blue onesie are adorable and my little girl is going to wear them." 

I want to keep everything as gender neutral as possible so that my kid doesn't feel confined to certain toys, certain activities, certain professions, certain friends. I will challenge myself to never say something like "you can't wear that because you're a boy" or "don't play with that, you're a girl. here's a doll." or "boys will be boys" (don't even get me started on that one...)

larrygaga

I got a little freaked out because I was tagged in this topic. Here is the meme I posted about pregnancy and now I am going to run away from the pregnancies congrats everyone bye

velvethelicopters

I really shouldn't read pregnant people threads. My period is 2 days late. I know that timing means I can't be pregnant, but damn I kind of want to go pee on a stick.

PrettyGirlLost

southernbelle0915 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party!

Nobody ever said fuck the people who accidentally use an inaccurate word.

Honestly though, "gender reveal" is probably pretty accurate in that context. The parents are revealing which gender they'll be portraying the baby as socially. In some cases, it may not even match what the baby's sex is.

But in most cases I'm sure people genuinely don't know the difference (I didn't until recently) and only say "gender" because they think it sounds less naughty than "sex." 

What in the actual fuck now?!

How can parents choose which gender an infant identifies with?  At that point the baby can't even control it's own bowels, let alone have any concept of complex social constructs.

I think that decisions on which gender a person identifies with should be left up to that individual- am I wrong here?

One of the most fascinating and disheartening psychology classes I ever took was on human sex and gender.  I say disheartening because when we came to read about and discuss the case of David Reimer I was so absolutely furious at Dr. Money for his quakery and the damage he caused David and his brother and the rest of his family:

http://www.healthyplace.com/gender/inside-intersexuality/the-true-story-of-john-/-joan/

This is in part why I feel that people should choose their gender for themselves.

Again, an infant has no concept of any social constructs

When did I say anything about the baby's choice, or what they identify with?! I said the parents' choice to PORTRAY the child as a certain gender. Yes, I know what you said.  There are some parents choosing to dress their baby as a boy that's born a girl, or vice versa.   This just makes no sense to me.  Or not identify their baby with any gender until it's old enough to identify with one independently.   This logic makes more sense, not that I necessarily agree with it.  That's what I'm talking about - that you could have parents announcing THEIR CHOICE that the baby's GENDER is male, even though the baby's sex is female.   Why, though?  Why pretend your male child is female?  I just don't get it.

I will probably dress my little oven bun with whatever I feel like and is comfortable for the him/her. I wouldn't consciously be like "I'm going to to stick it to the world!! See this male baby, well he's wearing a dress. WHAT NOW WORLD?!?!?"

It would be more like, "these fire truck pants and blue onesie are adorable and my little girl is going to wear them." 

I want to keep everything as gender neutral as possible so that my kid doesn't feel confined to certain toys, certain activities, certain professions, certain friends. I will challenge myself to never say something like "you can't wear that because you're a boy" or "don't play with that, you're a girl. here's a doll." or "boys will be boys" (don't even get me started on that one...)

Sorry, I guess that's what I thought in relation to the comment of " Or not identify their baby with any gender until it's old enough to identify with one independently."  Maybe I have read too many articles about crunchy moms even refusing to refer to their child with gender specific pronouns, despite their kids getting upset about it, lol!

Growing up before my sisters were born and I lived in an area with a lot of kids, it was just my brother and I as playmates for each other.  I watched GI Joe and the other "boy" cartoons with him, we played with GI Joes together, we played Voltron together- I had my own set of action figs and cats, we played with Star wars action figs together.  He also watched The Last Unicorn with me, My Little Ponies, and he would play with the ponies with me.  I was never really into baby dolls- I liked animal stuffed toys better- and I didn't start playing with Barbies until I was 5 and my neighbor had every one every made, all the accessories, and all of the clothes.

Hell, I still collect action figures as an adult, lol!

theartistformerlyknownas

@prettygirllost I'm rebelling against long quote strings. I don't think it's common that parents choose to gender-identify their kid opposite to their sex, just that it's possible to happen. My comment was actually more agreeing with what you've been saying - at the time a gender reveal happens, it's the parents that are in control of how the child is represented, since the child has neither a choice nor an idea at that point. So "gender reveal" is technically an accurate term for the party - parents are saying "this baby's gonna play with firetrucks and play football." Whether or not that child grow up to identify as a woman is irrelevant. The parents are in control, the parents are saying "baby's a boy, give me blue stuff because MANLINESS." That's gender. It's just irrelevant what the child's sex is at that point (although more often than not, yes they're revealing the sex along with the gender that happens to go along with it).

My sister is friends with a lesbian couple who recently had twins. From like the moment they found out the one was pregnant, they referred to the babies as "the girls." When they actually had the sex-determining appointment, sis asked if it was, in fact, two girls. They were both like "of course, obviously, girls." Babies were born, announced as girls named Kyle and Ryan (somewhat gender neutral). They dress them in nothing but clothes from the "boy section," corduroy overalls and whatnot. Sometimes one parent has used male pronouns when referring to them. Obviously could just be personal preference, and not that it matters, but nobody has any idea what the kids' sex(es) actually is/are.

Am I making any sense? I haven't had a lot of coffee.

flantastic

southernbelle0915 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party!

Nobody ever said fuck the people who accidentally use an inaccurate word.

Honestly though, "gender reveal" is probably pretty accurate in that context. The parents are revealing which gender they'll be portraying the baby as socially. In some cases, it may not even match what the baby's sex is.

But in most cases I'm sure people genuinely don't know the difference (I didn't until recently) and only say "gender" because they think it sounds less naughty than "sex." 

What in the actual fuck now?!

How can parents choose which gender an infant identifies with?  At that point the baby can't even control it's own bowels, let alone have any concept of complex social constructs.

I think that decisions on which gender a person identifies with should be left up to that individual- am I wrong here?

One of the most fascinating and disheartening psychology classes I ever took was on human sex and gender.  I say disheartening because when we came to read about and discuss the case of David Reimer I was so absolutely furious at Dr. Money for his quakery and the damage he caused David and his brother and the rest of his family:

http://www.healthyplace.com/gender/inside-intersexuality/the-true-story-of-john-/-joan/

This is in part why I feel that people should choose their gender for themselves.

Again, an infant has no concept of any social constructs

When did I say anything about the baby's choice, or what they identify with?! I said the parents' choice to PORTRAY the child as a certain gender. Yes, I know what you said.  There are some parents choosing to dress their baby as a boy that's born a girl, or vice versa.   This just makes no sense to me.  Or not identify their baby with any gender until it's old enough to identify with one independently.   This logic makes more sense, not that I necessarily agree with it.  That's what I'm talking about - that you could have parents announcing THEIR CHOICE that the baby's GENDER is male, even though the baby's sex is female.   Why, though?  Why pretend your male child is female?  I just don't get it.

I will probably dress my little oven bun with whatever I feel like and is comfortable for the him/her. I wouldn't consciously be like "I'm going to to stick it to the world!! See this male baby, well he's wearing a dress. WHAT NOW WORLD?!?!?"

It would be more like, "these fire truck pants and blue onesie are adorable and my little girl is going to wear them." 

I want to keep everything as gender neutral as possible so that my kid doesn't feel confined to certain toys, certain activities, certain professions, certain friends. I will challenge myself to never say something like "you can't wear that because you're a boy" or "don't play with that, you're a girl. here's a doll." or "boys will be boys" (don't even get me started on that one...)

Hell, I'm going to buy any baby clothes that are adorable.

H's two-year-old niece is really into fire trucks. She was a firefighter for Halloween. It was adorable.

I'm probably not going to tell anyone the sex so that if anyone decides they need to dress my baby for me, they'll have to buy gender neutral and I can at least use those same clothes for all future kids.

PrettyGirlLost

lolo883 said:

@prettygirllost I'm rebelling against long quote strings. I don't think it's common that parents choose to gender-identify their kid opposite to their sex, just that it's possible to happen.   Yeah I'd still like to know why someone would do this, just in an attempt to understand the rationale, ya know?  My comment was actually more agreeing with what you've been saying - at the time a gender reveal happens, it's the parents that are in control of how the child is represented, since the child has neither a choice nor an idea at that point. AAAH ok.  So "gender reveal" is technically an accurate term for the party - parents are saying "this baby's gonna play with firetrucks and play football." Whether or not that child grow up to identify as a woman is irrelevant. The parents are in control, the parents are saying "baby's a boy, give me blue stuff because MANLINESS." That's gender. It's just irrelevant what the child's sex is at that point (although more often than not, yes they're revealing the sex along with the gender that happens to go along with it).

My sister is friends with a lesbian couple who recently had twins. From like the moment they found out the one was pregnant, they referred to the babies as "the girls." When they actually had the sex-determining appointment, sis asked if it was, in fact, two girls. They were both like "of course, obviously, girls." Babies were born, announced as girls named Kyle and Ryan (somewhat gender neutral). They dress them in nothing but clothes from the "boy section," corduroy overalls and whatnot. Sometimes one parent has used male pronouns when referring to them. Obviously could just be personal preference, and not that it matters, but nobody has any idea what the kids' sex(es) actually is/are.  I reread this, nvm my original comment.  If the kids are biologically girls, dressing them in boys clothing isn't going to harm them in any way.   However, if they are actually biologically male, I would think referring to them as girls- she, hers, etc- could be a bad thing.  Again, I read a few articles- I'll see if I can find them- where school aged kids were getting upset because their parents where referring to them in gender neutral terms, or terms opposite to their sex, and that was against what the kids wanted.

Am I making any sense? I haven't had a lot of coffee.

BTW my WTF reaction was at the information you were dropping, not directly at you for saying it- my bad in not communicating that properly.

theartistformerlyknownas

Yeah IDK WTF would possess someone to do that. I'm all about supporting a person's choice when they're old enough to make it for themselves, and encouraging exploration beyond traditional gender roles... but don't confuse your kid. I'd much rather be like "you're a girl, girls can play with and wear whatever they want. Does your Barbie want to drive the bulldozer?" than have my kid come running home from school wondering why they're the only person in the locker room without a penis. 

southernbelle0915

flantastic said:

southernbelle0915 said:

I will probably dress my little oven bun with whatever I feel like and is comfortable for the him/her. I wouldn't consciously be like "I'm going to to stick it to the world!! See this male baby, well he's wearing a dress. WHAT NOW WORLD?!?!?"

It would be more like, "these fire truck pants and blue onesie are adorable and my little girl is going to wear them." 

I want to keep everything as gender neutral as possible so that my kid doesn't feel confined to certain toys, certain activities, certain professions, certain friends. I will challenge myself to never say something like "you can't wear that because you're a boy" or "don't play with that, you're a girl. here's a doll." or "boys will be boys" (don't even get me started on that one...)

Hell, I'm going to buy any baby clothes that are adorable.

H's two-year-old niece is really into fire trucks. She was a firefighter for Halloween. It was adorable.

I'm probably not going to tell anyone the sex so that if anyone decides they need to dress my baby for me, they'll have to buy gender neutral and I can at least use those same clothes for all future kids.

This! I am definitely doing this. 

I have to say though, it's a small thing, but it's a thing nonetheless. When people say stuff like "oh, I got a bunch of pink stuff for my little girl, so I can't use it if I have a boy." Um, yes they can. Babies give no fucks as long as they are comfortable. People may choose not to reuse perfectly good baby materials because of some irrational fear that the kid will grow up liking "girl things" and what would the neighbors think? But the kid most certainly can sleep on pink sheets with bunny rabbits. FWP.

esstee33

PrettyGirlLost said: southernbelle0915 said: PrettyGirlLost said: lolo883 said: PrettyGirlLost said: lolo883 said: Sugargirl1019 said: So, fuck everyone who has a "gender-reveal" party. They need to have a "sex- reveal" party! Nobody ever said fuck the people who accidentally use an inaccurate word.
Honestly though, "gender reveal" is probably pretty accurate in that context. The parents are revealing which gender they'll be portraying the baby as socially. In some cases, it may not even match what the baby's sex is.
But in most cases I'm sure people genuinely don't know the difference (I didn't until recently) and only say "gender" because they think it sounds less naughty than "sex."  What in the actual fuck now?!

How can parents choose which gender an infant identifies with?  At that point the baby can't even control it's own bowels, let alone have any concept of complex social constructs.

I think that decisions on which gender a person identifies with should be left up to that individual- am I wrong here?

One of the most fascinating and disheartening psychology classes I ever took was on human sex and gender.  I say disheartening because when we came to read about and discuss the case of David Reimer I was so absolutely furious at Dr. Money for his quakery and the damage he caused David and his brother and the rest of his family:

http://www.healthyplace.com/gender/inside-intersexuality/the-true-story-of-john-/-joan/

This is in part why I feel that people should choose their gender for themselves.

Again, an infant has no concept of any social constructs
When did I say anything about the baby's choice, or what they identify with?! I said the parents' choice to PORTRAY the child as a certain gender. Yes, I know what you said.  There are some parents choosing to dress their baby as a boy that's born a girl, or vice versa.   This just makes no sense to me.  Or not identify their baby with any gender until it's old enough to identify with one independently.   This logic makes more sense, not that I necessarily agree with it.  That's what I'm talking about - that you could have parents announcing THEIR CHOICE that the baby's GENDER is male, even though the baby's sex is female.   Why, though?  Why pretend your male child is female?  I just don't get it.

I will probably dress my little oven bun with whatever I feel like and is comfortable for the him/her. I wouldn't consciously be like "I'm going to to stick it to the world!! See this male baby, well he's wearing a dress. WHAT NOW WORLD?!?!?"
It would be more like, "these fire truck pants and blue onesie are adorable and my little girl is going to wear them." 
I want to keep everything as gender neutral as possible so that my kid doesn't feel confined to certain toys, certain activities, certain professions, certain friends. I will challenge myself to never say something like "you can't wear that because you're a boy" or "don't play with that, you're a girl. here's a doll." or "boys will be boys" (don't even get me started on that one...) Sorry, I guess that's what I thought in relation to the comment of " Or not identify their baby with any gender until it's old enough to identify with one independently."  Maybe I have read too many articles about crunchy moms even refusing to refer to their child with gender specific pronouns, despite their kids getting upset about it, lol!

Growing up before my sisters were born and I lived in an area with a lot of kids, it was just my brother and I as playmates for each other.  I watched GI Joe and the other "boy" cartoons with him, we played with GI Joes together, we played Voltron together- I had my own set of action figs and cats, we played with Star wars action figs together.  He also watched The Last Unicorn with me, My Little Ponies, and he would play with the ponies with me.  I was never really into baby dolls- I liked animal stuffed toys better- and I didn't start playing with Barbies until I was 5 and my neighbor had every one every made, all the accessories, and all of the clothes.

Hell, I still collect action figures as an adult, lol!

*****************


I can see why it wouldn't make sense to deliberately portray your child as a male if it was born female, but I don't think that's an especially common practice. There are a growing number of people who are moving away from gendered nurseries, toys, and manners of speaking to recognize and include the idea that maybe the sex your child is born with won't match with the gender being performed for it. There's also this family, who only ever told their youngest child's birth sex to a handful of people, and have made considerable efforts to let the kid just be a kid and enjoy whatever the hell it wants, without the influence of gender expectations -----> Baby Storm.

From what I know of it, David Reimer was a wholly different kind of case. I mean, he was forced to simulate sex acts with his brother as part of his "gender training." And despite his admission that he didn't really identify as female, both his doctor and his family just kept on pretending that the reassignment was a success. Who wouldn't be fucked up from that? Nobody should be choosing their child's gender AND giving them sex reassignment surgery to match, even taking into consideration the initial injury that made them choose that option. No fucking way. 

PrettyGirlLost

esstee33 said:

I can see why it wouldn't make sense to deliberately portray your child as a male if it was born female, but I don't think that's an especially common practice. There are a growing number of people who are moving away from gendered nurseries, toys, and manners of speaking to recognize and include the idea that maybe the sex your child is born with won't match with the gender being performed for it. There's also this family, who only ever told their youngest child's birth sex to a handful of people, and have made considerable efforts to let the kid just be a kid and enjoy whatever the hell it wants, without the influence of gender expectations -----> Baby Storm.

From what I know of it, David Reimer was a wholly different kind of case. I mean, he was forced to simulate sex acts with his brother as part of his "gender training." And despite his admission that he didn't really identify as female, both his doctor and his family just kept on pretending that the reassignment was a success. Who wouldn't be fucked up from that? Nobody should be choosing their child's gender AND giving them sex reassignment surgery to match, even taking into consideration the initial injury that made them choose that option. No fucking way. 

And Money deliberately ignored data that went against the theory he was trying to peddle.  He was an unethical fuck.

holyguacamole79

I just wanna AW this onesie I got for my nephew. I found it when I first found out my sister was pregnant, and I think it's the cutest.

lurkergirl

Who are these mythical clean babies you speak of that have reusable clothing?