Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

What are your etiquette deal breakers?

13468933

Re: What are your etiquette deal breakers?

  • Options
    rachidoll said:
    I am really surprised to see so many people listing Gaps as a deal breakers. We are having a church ceremony, a 2 hour gap, and then the cocktail reception. Is this that terrible of etiquette? Y'all have me questioning my wedding day! :-/
    Yes, it is.  Why can't you bump your reception up by two hours?  If that is in any way possible, I would do it.

    It's really rude to be so inconsiderate of your guests' time just for the sake of the "look and feel" of an evening reception. 

    As a guest, a gap destroys the momentum of the day, and it's annoying to try and find something to occupy your time with.  The majority of people have no need to "freshen up" or "change" after your ceremony.  People usually end up wasting money on food and drinks while killing time, when they should have been able to just go directly to the reception.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Options
    Its already started :) the knot put this out in their email! get ready ladies! ETA: my etiquette deal breakers would be anything that requires extra discomfort on my part - - FI not being invited too - not enough seats - not a proper hosting at a meal time I think everyone can agree that this is just not good. I would either not show up, or leave as soon as it was found out.
    Shit, I knew it!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Options
    Yup, pulled up my email and there it is. And this thread has now turned into all the pretty princesses defending their poor decisions, rather than staying on topic.
  • Options
    Wow, I'm really glad the guests I am inviting to my wedding are not as demanding as you are.  "I expect you to properly host me for every second of your wedding, from the moment I am seated in the pew to the moment the reception ends. " Really??? Most ,if not all couples want to be sure that their guests are having a good time, however do not forget it is their day, not yours.  The bride and grooms main focus should be that they are having their dream day.  
    Is this a bingo square? I hope so. Do we have a bingo card? Can I make one?
    Fucking brilliant idea!!!!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Options
    I had no idea dollar dances were considered rude! Every wedding I've ever been to has had one. I''m getting married in July, and we were considering it, but not now! We aren't even tossing the bouquet/garter because we don't want any single friends to feel uncomfortable (it's also open bar, no gaps, no honeymoon fund jar/tree, no tiers, etc.). Would it be the worst thing to have one? Thanks for the advice!! :)
    GOOD ON YA!!!!!!!!!!!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Options
    @speechie11, dollar dances tend to bring the party to a screeching halt and take a really long time on top of ... for lack of a better phrase, pumping your guests for more money. I'd skip it if I were you, or if you must have something like one, ask your guests to write down advice for you instead of paying money.
  • Options

    I have to agree with some of the pet peeves I've read so far: dollar dances, running out of food, not sending thank you notes and tiered events.  These are clear examples of poor etiquette or poor planning. 

    The one I'm not sure I agree with being a break in etiquette is having a gap between the ceremony and the reception.  The couple is likely taking pictures during this time.  Plus, not all venues may be right next door to each other or reception venues may require a certain start time in order to properly prepare for the event.  Sometimes the 'best laid plans of mice and men' still require time to take pictures and transport everyone from point A to point B. 

    In any event, it is important to remember that it is the bride and groom's day, their vision for what they want and that all guests are just that - guests.  Of course respect and etiquette should always be observed but at the end of the day, it's all about the couple getting married. 

  • Options

    I have to agree with some of the pet peeves I've read so far: dollar dances, running out of food, not sending thank you notes and tiered events.  These are clear examples of poor etiquette or poor planning. 

    The one I'm not sure I agree with being a break in etiquette is having a gap between the ceremony and the reception.  The couple is likely taking pictures during this time.  Plus, not all venues may be right next door to each other or reception venues may require a certain start time in order to properly prepare for the event.  Sometimes the 'best laid plans of mice and men' still require time to take pictures and transport everyone from point A to point B. 

    In any event, it is important to remember that it is the bride and groom's day, their vision for what they want and that all guests are just that - guests.  Of course respect and etiquette should always be observed but at the end of the day, it's all about the couple getting married. 

    Picture taking should not take longer than an hour. This is what the cocktail hour is for. And travel time between the ceremony and the reception venue shouldn't be as long as some of these gaps are. Two hours? Are you kidding me? The thing is, once the couple getting married choose to include other people in their day, it's not longer just about them. It's about the people they invited, too.
    SO MUCH THIS. And I may have to steal it and put it in my siggy, @Simply Fated
  • Options
    virmala said:
    Honestly after reading many of the replies to this post I can't help but feel sorry to anyone who has invited many of you to their weddings.  The couple wants to share their special day with you. They want you there to celebrate and share their love.  If there is something you don't like then brush it off. It is the COUPLE's day, not yours. It's about THEM, not you. They are better off without spoiled people like you at their wedding. I personally would be glad that you RSVP no or left, good riddance. 
    Considering I've been attending weddings for many, many, many years.  I've never attend a cash bar, I've never attended a wedding that did not have the appropriate amount of food for the time of day, I've always had a chair, etc I think the people who have invited me to their weddings are the reason for my expectations.   This is what we do, this what we expect.


    For the record, the only weddings I said I would decline are ones were my husband was not invited to or ones that require me to provide my own meal (either via potluck or pay your way at a restaurant).

    Personally, I think those 3 are pretty good reasons not to attend a wedding.  I would attend a cash bar wedding.  Well that is assuming it fits into my schedule.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Options
    ckel24 said:

    n8thnote said:

    I have to agree with some of the pet peeves I've read so far: dollar dances, running out of food, not sending thank you notes and tiered events.  These are clear examples of poor etiquette or poor planning. 

    The one I'm not sure I agree with being a break in etiquette is having a gap between the ceremony and the reception.  The couple is likely taking pictures during this time.  Plus, not all venues may be right next door to each other or reception venues may require a certain start time in order to properly prepare for the event.  Sometimes the 'best laid plans of mice and men' still require time to take pictures and transport everyone from point A to point B. 

    In any event, it is important to remember that it is the bride and groom's day, their vision for what they want and that all guests are just that - guests.  Of course respect and etiquette should always be observed but at the end of the day, it's all about the couple getting married. 

    Picture taking should not take longer than an hour. This is what the cocktail hour is for.

    And travel time between the ceremony and the reception venue shouldn't be as long as some of these gaps are. Two hours? Are you kidding me?

    The thing is, once the couple getting married choose to include other people in their day, it's not longer just about them. It's about the people they invited, too.
    SO MUCH THIS. And I may have to steal it and put it in my siggy, @Simply Fated
    Lol you're welcome. You might want to check my grammer errors, though. So embarrassing, I swear I was a good English student.

    image
  • Options
    You could have a "Honeymoon registry" asking for different excursions like Dolphin cruise or banana boats, but list the prices and have the guests give cash or a check to you directly, so that the website doesn't take a chunk of the money. That way, the bride and groom can just use that money towards something on their wish list for the honeymoon!
  • Options
    virmala said:
    Honestly after reading many of the replies to this post I can't help but feel sorry to anyone who has invited many of you to their weddings.  The couple wants to share their special day with you. They want you there to celebrate and share their love.  If there is something you don't like then brush it off. It is the COUPLE's day, not yours. It's about THEM, not you. They are better off without spoiled people like you at their wedding. I personally would be glad that you RSVP no or left, good riddance. 
    No, actually.  The ceremony is about the couple.  The reception is about the guests- the reception is thrown by the hosts of the wedding as a thank you for all the guests who attended the ceremony.  That's why people get so pissed here about improperly hosted receptions.

    For the record, I have never walked out of a reception.  I don't participate in things I think are rude and tacky (honeyfunds, honeymoon jars, dollar dances), and I actively avoid bouquet and garter tosses because I think they are silly and borderline inappropriate at best, and have seen them cross the line into sexual harrassment and molestation once.

    I don't care for cash bars, but I'd rather have the option to buy a drink than not.

    I'd only decline a wedding if my FI wasn't invited and if I knew it had a 2hour+ gap.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Options
    edited April 2014
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards