Worst Baby Names

flantastic

MagicInk said:

Dad wanted Gavin or Fynn for a boy, my mom wanted Marc, Gerard, or Noel. True story my male best friend's name (also our donor for our feature kid) is named Fynn.

Sophie went her entire life usually being the only Sophie. Now go out the mall "Sophie! Sophie! Sophia get your ass back here!"....it's awesome. For me. For her it's going "What?" and then realizing not her but rather the small child running off.

I got asked once, by an adult, if my parents named me after Fiona from Shrek. Shrek came out in 2001. I was born in 1986. I don't think my parents are time travelers...

I was going to ask you if anyone had been this dumb.

On the subject of juniors, my dad is First Middle Last III, and his first name, while awesome and goes back many centuries, is not particularly common. My brother got the middle name as a first name and a new middle, because they thought about First Middle Last IV and said, "Eh, why do that to the kid?"

My middle name, though, is my great grandmother's name. My grandmother has it as a middle name, and so does my aunt, and two of my cousins. I really like the name and so does H, so we may either break tradition and give it as a first name to a girl, or continue the tradition and have it be her middle name too. But my first name is me.

I'm gonna be pretty traditional overall with names. I appreciate the idea that if you can't picture the name as a Supreme Court Justice, don't use that name. (Of course by the time that rolls around, a name with staying power may be traditional enough.)

amelisha

I thought I should come back and mention that I also hate cutesy stuff like what my mother almost did to me...

My birthday is Christmas Eve, and she was a heartbeat away from writing "Holly Noelle" on my birth certificate. Both fine names, but TOGETHER? For a CHRISTMAS BABY? I would never have forgiven her. Fortunately my dad, clearer-headed after not giving birth himself, talked sense into her and I got a regular name.

If I had been a boy, they planned "Joel" and it was it kind of weird when I dated one for three years.

FI and I tell people we're going to name our firstborn "Tiberius Thundercloud" regardless of gender. Terrifyingly, a lot of people seem to think that's a great idea. We're...not serious. They are.

LadyMillil

I would have been George or Michael if I was a boy.

My parents couldn't agree on a girl name before I was born. My mom wanted Alison and my dad wanted Abby (not Abigail, just Abby). My mom had an emergency c-section and I had some issues as a newborn and my parents were all stressed out and worried. My mom was still on all the drugs when she turned to him and said "can we name her [my name]" and he said yes because he didn't want to argue with a drugged, stressed and worried woman just after she had given birth. Luckily it was a completely normal name that suits me.

hellosweetie1015

amelisha said:

I thought I should come back and mention that I also hate cutesy stuff like what my mother almost did to me...

My birthday is Christmas Eve, and she was a heartbeat away from writing "Holly Noelle" on my birth certificate. Both fine names, but TOGETHER? For a CHRISTMAS BABY? I would never have forgiven her. Fortunately my dad, clearer-headed after not giving birth himself, talked sense into her and I got a regular name.

If I had been a boy, they planned "Joel" and it was it kind of weird when I dated one for three years.

FI and I tell people we're going to name our firstborn "Tiberius Thundercloud" regardless of gender. Terrifyingly, a lot of people seem to think that's a great idea. We're...not serious. They are.

I have decided that we're going to give BS names - and a different name every time we're asked - when we're asked what we're naming future spawn. Maybe we'll tell the grandparents-to-be but I suspect not. 

chibiyui

maeday2 said:

I think someone touched on this, but I think last names should be taken into account when naming your child. 

Recently I helped with scholarship mailings my company sends to every employee who has high school aged children. Some of those names were interesting. 

Summer and Autumn are fine names. Just not when your last name is Rain. 

ETA: They are twins. 

flantastic

Speaking of my great grandmother, I just thought about all my great grandmothers' names - Adelaide, Kathryn, Cordula, and Luella. Pretty dated, but their names make me think they were all badasses.

ohannabelle

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MagicInk said:

Dad wanted Gavin or Fynn for a boy, my mom wanted Marc, Gerard, or Noel. True story my male best friend's name (also our donor for our feature kid) is named Fynn.

Sophie went her entire life usually being the only Sophie. Now go out the mall "Sophie! Sophie! Sophia get your ass back here!"....it's awesome. For me. For her it's going "What?" and then realizing not her but rather the small child running off.

I got asked once, by an adult, if my parents named me after Fiona from Shrek. Shrek came out in 2001. I was born in 1986. I don't think my parents are time travelers...

My Moosey's middle name is Finn. 

His father wanted very very Irish names, so Finn like Finn MacCool, and Moose like Moose MacNessa. Kidding! Of course his real name isn't Moose. His actual first name is just a pleasant Irish name, kind of like Liam or Declan. Ex wanted to name him Fergus. Not in my lifetime. God, no.

I really love old and traditional names Elizabeth Rose Margaret Katherine Eva Emily Sara Julia things. James Benjamin Alexander William Jonathan types of names. Sometimes they peak in and out, but they're always there. I wouldn't say boring, I'd call them classic. Above and beyond trends. Worked in 1700, worked in 1900, they work today, and will still work in a hundred years. 

(My great Auntie Rose was named Rose Violet, because her mama wanted very American names, so that's what she decided was "is very American. Two flowers." I think it's hilarious, and sweet.)

VulgarGirl

@amelisah Wifey is also a Christmas eve baby. Sophia Noelle. Very pretty name. But she totally got Noelle because she was an almost Christmas baby.

Casadena

My parents almost named me Katherine Christine intending to call me KC.  At the last minute they changed their minds and just named me that (not with initials, an actual spelling).  I would have been Mitch if I was a boy - super glad I dodged that one.  

Names of people I know, or have come across in life that are awful (mostly because they are totally made up names, or made up spellings):  Jennica/Jerrica, Kenzli/Kenzlee, Jaxtyn, Leiah (pronounced Leah), Brynnlee.  I just don't understand it.  

I do tend to prefer more classic names like Theodore, Charles, Claire/Clara, Fiona, Nathaniel, and Leah - they are all on our short list for baby names.  

Names I hate for no valid reason: Cody, Amanda, Dana, Riley/Bailey (these are dog names to me)

bethsmiles

ohannabelle said:

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MagicInk said:

Dad wanted Gavin or Fynn for a boy, my mom wanted Marc, Gerard, or Noel. True story my male best friend's name (also our donor for our feature kid) is named Fynn.

Sophie went her entire life usually being the only Sophie. Now go out the mall "Sophie! Sophie! Sophia get your ass back here!"....it's awesome. For me. For her it's going "What?" and then realizing not her but rather the small child running off.

I got asked once, by an adult, if my parents named me after Fiona from Shrek. Shrek came out in 2001. I was born in 1986. I don't think my parents are time travelers...

My Moosey's middle name is Finn. 

His father wanted very very Irish names, so Finn like Finn MacCool, and Moose like Moose MacNessa. Kidding! Of course his real name isn't Moose. His actual first name is just a pleasant Irish name, kind of like Liam or Declan. Ex wanted to name him Fergus. Not in my lifetime. God, no.

SO and I are both big fans of Irish names. Unfortunately, SO has a very German last name and Irish names just don't go with it at all.

amelisha

MagicInk said:

@amelisah Wifey is also a Christmas eve baby. Sophia Noelle. Very pretty name. But she totally got Noelle because she was an almost Christmas baby.

That's just it, though, right? Pretty name, uncommon but not made up (well, I guess it's kind of a made-up female version, but still) but when you combine it with the Christmas thing, it's a bit silly. At least she only got the middle name. I very nearly got Holly as my first one, which would have been terrible.

ohannabelle

bethsmiles said:

ohannabelle said:

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MagicInk said:

Dad wanted Gavin or Fynn for a boy, my mom wanted Marc, Gerard, or Noel. True story my male best friend's name (also our donor for our feature kid) is named Fynn.

Sophie went her entire life usually being the only Sophie. Now go out the mall "Sophie! Sophie! Sophia get your ass back here!"....it's awesome. For me. For her it's going "What?" and then realizing not her but rather the small child running off.

I got asked once, by an adult, if my parents named me after Fiona from Shrek. Shrek came out in 2001. I was born in 1986. I don't think my parents are time travelers...

My Moosey's middle name is Finn. 

His father wanted very very Irish names, so Finn like Finn MacCool, and Moose like Moose MacNessa. Kidding! Of course his real name isn't Moose. His actual first name is just a pleasant Irish name, kind of like Liam or Declan. Ex wanted to name him Fergus. Not in my lifetime. God, no.

SO and I are both big fans of Irish names. Unfortunately, SO has a very German last name and Irish names just don't go with it at all.

No, though every now and then, it works. Years and years ago, I had an Italian/Irish friend named Isabella Murphy. I always thought it was a really cool name. It didn't quite go together and yet worked perfectly. 

jenna8984

My mom wanted to name me either Jill or Carly and my dad refused on both, so she gave me cabbage patch dolls with those names.

@magicink The Shrek thing reminds me of Office Space. "You could go by Mike Bolton". "Why should I have to change MY name- HE is the one that sucks!"

alpacalunch

One of my BMs is pregnant (due any day now!) and they are not finding out the sex beforehand. They have a list for boy names, but nothing for a girl. Their son has a Gaelic name, not very common. So they need something a little out-there for their newest addition. 

I'm trying to sell them on Athena or Calliope. Mostly because I wouldn't have the balls to name my own progeny that. But I love the names!

jenna8984

I am also appalled that Miley is now a name. 1. Why would you ever name your kid after that wacko 2. She was born Destiny Hope and when she was little they called her Smiley, which morphed into Miley. 

fwtx5815

dolewhipper said:

Because of this thread I have found out one of my good friends' H wants to name their future child Jackson.

ALL THE NO'S.

And the main reason is because he just wants to call him Jack! So name him Jack, m-f'er!

I will never hear the name Jackson and not think of Andrew Jackson. When I hear of a kid getting named Jackson I picture a baby with Andrew Jackson hair.

lavenderfields13

amelisha said:

I thought I should come back and mention that I also hate cutesy stuff like what my mother almost did to me...

My birthday is Christmas Eve, and she was a heartbeat away from writing "Holly Noelle" on my birth certificate. Both fine names, but TOGETHER? For a CHRISTMAS BABY? I would never have forgiven her. Fortunately my dad, clearer-headed after not giving birth himself, talked sense into her and I got a regular name.

If I had been a boy, they planned "Joel" and it was it kind of weird when I dated one for three years.

FI and I tell people we're going to name our firstborn "Tiberius Thundercloud" regardless of gender. Terrifyingly, a lot of people seem to think that's a great idea. We're...not serious. They are.

I know a Joy Noelle who is a Christmas baby. I wonder if she hates it. Yeah I probably wouldn't incorporate the holiday into my kid's name at all but definitely not BOTH names. 

sorry @bethsmiles and others. I guess I'm in the minority with the juniors/same names. I don't know why , it's just always bothered me. Maybe because I'm so into name meanings and I want every kid to have a different meaning behind their name? I hated my name for a long time because I don't think the meaning suits me.

I guess I'm just weird!

lavenderfields13

I used to love the name Declan when I was younger but not so much anymore. And it's super Irish and I'm not. I love the name Killian now but again, super Irish so FI says no.

theartistformerlyknownas

jenna8984 said:

I am also appalled that Miley is now a name. 1. Why would you ever name your kid after that wacko 2. She was born Destiny Hope and when she was little they called her Smiley, which morphed into Miley. 

So she was going to take her clothes off for a living either way...

maeday2

lavenderfields13 said:

I used to love the name Declan when I was younger but not so much anymore. And it's super Irish and I'm not. I love the name Killian now but again, super Irish so FI says no.

This is what I think of, but I drink a lot. 

FI's niece is Lenox. When he told me her name after her birth my first comment was, "Like the china?" 

l9i

We love the idea of family names and have 4 name combinations picked out (2 girls and 2 boys).  All have middle names that are from either of our families.

So compound first names annoy me irrationally.  My mom has one. So along the lines of Mary Kate, Mary Lou, Anna Marie, etc.  She has two first names and no middle name.  She gets annoyed when people call her just Mary.  I got a first and middle name but my middle name is her second name.  So if she was Mary Kate (first), I would be Anna (first) Kate (middle).  I HATED when my moms side would call me by first and middle.  I drove me crazy.  The above isn't my name but my combo as one name just sounds so hick.

Also, I had no alternate names if I were a boy.  However, my older brother would have been a Pamala.  Very glad they got rid of that by the time I came around.

jenna8984

dallasbetch said:

Because of this thread I have found out one of my good friends' H wants to name their future child Jackson.

ALL THE NO'S.

And the main reason is because he just wants to call him Jack! So name him Jack, m-f'er!

I will never hear the name Jackson and not think of Andrew Jackson. When I hear of a kid getting named Jackson I picture a baby with Andrew Jackson hair.

@dallasbetch Me too! My friend just named her son Zachary Tyler and all I can think of is the president Zachary Taylor.

amelisha

lavenderfields13 said:. 

sorry @bethsmiles and others. I guess I'm in the minority with the juniors/same names. I don't know why , it's just always bothered me. Maybe because I'm so into name meanings and I want every kid to have a different meaning behind their name? I hated my name for a long time because I don't think the meaning suits me.

I guess I'm just weird!

(Boxes?)

I personally think that passed-down names are meaningful exactly because they are shared by a family. It's kind of saying "this is the person I hope you grow up to be like." But I do think it's kind of awkward when a parent names the kid after him or herself and prefer it when a name is given in honour of a family member. I don't mind as much if it's multigenerational, but when Jaxon decides to call his kid Jaxon Jr I do side-eye a tiny bit as I think it's maybe a bit...I dunno, self-centred, conceited, something. But I think naming a child for a grandparent or extended family member is nice. 

If we have kids and have a boy, we will name him for FI's father, even though it's also FI's middle name, because the name has been used in their family for generations. I think we'd maybe use my maiden name as a boy's middle name just so my father (whose given names are very 50s-trendy so I wouldn't want to use them for a baby) is included as well. But then we've got a kid with a 9-syllable name and that seems like a lot, so I don't know. At least my maiden name is occasionally used as a given name and is easy to spell...but I worry about it sometimes because I have a feeling it might get trendy because it's a -son one. Fortunately we're not planning kids anytime soon, but what a dumb thing to worry about anyway, hahaha.

[Deleted User]

This thread has been amazing. I am lol-ing at WORK, people.

I am going to have to ditto all the PP's hate names. I especially hate location names (those beach ones didn't bother me, because I've never heard of those beaches), but Brooklyn, London, Paris...yick.

If I was a boy, my parents wanted to name me DALLAS. I almost died when my mother told me that. I'm so happy I was a girl. (Ironically, my name IS a location, but not a very well-known one, so it hasn't bothered me).

I love love love the name Jane for a girl. I think it is so traditional and elegant, plus I love Jane Austen. My mother likes to remind me that people will probably call her "Plain Jane."

I have to be annoying and say I also love the name Lavendel for a girl. Pronounced like lavender, except with the softer 'L'. It's French, and I just like the sound. FI hates it, though.

Oliver for a boy. I think it is cute, and has the potential to be mature and cool into adulthood. 

Sebastian is my other secret, unusual boy name. Naturally FI hates that too :P

bethsmiles

@abcdevonn - SO hates all the boy names I like too. I love the name Parker (yes, I realize this falls into the whole last name as a first name thing that people hate) but SO hates it. I also really like Lucas, SO hates it too.

[Deleted User]

A coworker of mine has a friend who named her 3 sons Davian, Donathan, and Daxon. I had no words except poor kids lol.

Kahlyla

MagicInk said:

Dad wanted Gavin or Fynn for a boy, my mom wanted Marc, Gerard, or Noel. True story my male best friend's name (also our donor for our feature kid) is named Fynn.

Sophie went her entire life usually being the only Sophie. Now go out the mall "Sophie! Sophie! Sophia get your ass back here!"....it's awesome. For me. For her it's going "What?" and then realizing not her but rather the small child running off.

I got asked once, by an adult, if my parents named me after Fiona from Shrek. Shrek came out in 2001. I was born in 1986. I don't think my parents are time travelers...

I just need to say that Fiona and Sophie were both at the very, very top of my list for girl names. In competition only with Willow (would call her Will). Like, I love them so much that I almost want to have a third child.

Of course, I'd probably just have another boy, and then wouldn't I have egg on my face?!

ohannabelle

mrsincredible0224 said:

A coworker of mine has a friend who named her 3 sons Davian, Donathan, and Daxon. I had no words except poor kids lol.

That whole family alliteration thing was sooooo huge in the 60s and 70s. Terry Tammy Theresa and Tim. Debbie Danny Denice. Bill Barb and Brian. Lori and Lisa. Mike and Mark. 

All the alliterated families lived in our neighborhood. 

Donathan takes the effing cake. That's really the worst. Poor kid is going to sound like he has speech issues his whole life, and he'll be correcting people constantly. That poor child looks like a typo. 

ohannabelle

This is a really great entertaining thread, by the way. 

Thank you, ladies. 

(In bed with a screwed up back this week, already watched everything on Netflix, and finished reading the internet last night, so very very appreciative of the entertainment.)

I wonder why people find names so interesting and fun? I know I do. Always a good topic.

KatWAG

I have two comments.

My mom's childhood best friend was April Showers. First Name, Last Name. Her parents are mean.

I use to tutor a boy named Vodka. Real name, not his nickname.