Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridesmaid issues

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Re: Bridesmaid issues

  • To those of you who are saying that bridesmaids don't have jobs are the kind of people who show up to a wedding for the free food. Bridesmaid become part of the bridal party because they are the close friends/family of the bride and are there  to help and support her throughout the wedding and the planning. Not just to show up next to her on the day, anyone can do that.... 

    It's an honour to be part of the bridal (hence the Maid of Honour) title. Otherwise it wouldn't be called that. But yes, there is a fine line, don't forget these are supposed to be your friends, NOT SLAVES but by the sounds of this she didn't even want her to be a bridesmaid in the first place, so to someone whose pushed their way into the bridal party and then not kept in touch, I would take that as her not being interested any more which means she does not require a dress, etc. and has stepped down from being a bridesmaid by not keeping in touch. 

    You've got too much to plan to be worried about if she's going to show up or not. Like Addie Cake said. She will either show up on the day or she wont. C'est La Vie. Just focus on your bridesmaids who are keeping in touch and helping (just don't forget to say thank you all the time for their help) 




    Yep, I want to sit through a ceremony ONLY to be able to eat free dry chicken and get free bottom shelf drinks.
      Even better when I'm in the wedding and have to buy a dress I'll never wear again and stand for the duration of the ceremony. 

    Totally the only reason I go to weddings.
    You clearly were not at my wedding :)

    well, you didn't invite me so. . .

    :-P

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • lightningsnowlightningsnow member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited March 2015
    Jesus... I hate when people claim that BMs are there to help support you through your wedding planning. No, they are friends and they support me when I need them to. For example, I am not engaged but my mother is pressuring my BF and I to get married simply for the fact that she is worried about her own health, which she is extremely cynical about. I brought it up to my friends who basically said that I shouldn't listen to her and do what feels best for us and move at our own pace.

    But if I was planning a wedding, I'd go to the man I love first and foremost with my stresses. Not my friends. They are there for me through tough subjects and wedding planning is not a tough subject.

    *mic drop*

    ETF: I'm so tired at the moment I didn't realize how most of what I wrote didn't make any damn sense. I removed an entire paragraph because I have no idea what I meant by it.

    Either way, friends are to support you through tough times and if you consider wedding planning tough, you may need to back away from it.
    Formerly known as bubbles053009





  • LtPowers said:

    Oooookay....


    I'm going to back away slowly now and leave you people to your world where friends don't provide support to each other.

    **SIB**

    I really don't understand this. Why do you need support for a wedding? It's not a trying time. You're not dying. You didn't lose your job. Your FI didn't leave you. It's a party. When I am going through a tough time I look to both my boyfriend and friends for support. Planning a party, I'm going to plan it with the person who is hosting it with me. For a wedding, that would be my FH. I mean, that is the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with. I want to share this experience with him. It's just as much his wedding as it is mine. It's great if friends want to help out but I feel that it should be the person who you are marrying that should step up and want to help out and "support" you. Plus, when I look back on the planning of the wedding I want to see that my husband was there every step of the way helping me enthusiastically showing that he is just as excited about this marriage as I am.
     
    Friends are great but I'm not marrying them. If you want support at all, them standing up next to you is showing the best kind of support if you are looking for that in anyway. It shows that they want this relationship to happen (hopefully  that is the case) and by standing there they are giving you your support. Anything extra is just that, it's extra. It's great if they help but it should not be expected or demanded.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • LtPowers said:

    Oooookay....


    I'm going to back away slowly now and leave you people to your world where friends don't provide support to each other.


    FFS nobody is saying friends don't provide support to each other. But all you're doing is planning a party and if you need help you should turn to your FI, the person, y'know, that you're marrying at this party.
    image
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