My Matron of Honor refuses to get a babysitter for the wedding

PrettyGirlLost

pinkrevenge said:

Dear @c+j2015 and @heyyou1203

I'd like to tell you both a story of internet bullying I think you'll find relevant.

I know a woman, who several years back when she was a young adult / teen, would play mario smash brothers, tape it, and put it online as a fun snark review for some friends. And when she asked the internet what they thought, this is what happened:
Her accounts and computers were hacked, her faced photoshopped onto pornography and sold to websites all over, her boss was called and threatened unless he fired her numerous times, and the cops were called to her house several times for false reports. One day, someone rang her doorbell, and she found a giant, hand-bound book where someone had wrote a detailed manifesto of how he was going to come back later that night, break in, and in gruesome detail he described how he would rape and mutilate her.

And you want to sit there and say you're being attacked because someone thought your terrible childcare ideas are terrible?

You wouldn't know cyber bullying if gamergate looked your way. So yes, the OP was acting horrible and selfish towards her wedding party for shallow reasons, and she needed to here it so she didn't go through with it and ruin her friendships. And if that makes either of you feel like this place is too hostile for you, it is. So kindly get off the internet, because you're not ready for it.

ZOMG don't intimidate people or threaten them!!!! 

ashley8918

PrettyGirlLost said:

pinkrevenge said:

Dear @c+j2015 and @heyyou1203

I'd like to tell you both a story of internet bullying I think you'll find relevant.

I know a woman, who several years back when she was a young adult / teen, would play mario smash brothers, tape it, and put it online as a fun snark review for some friends. And when she asked the internet what they thought, this is what happened:
Her accounts and computers were hacked, her faced photoshopped onto pornography and sold to websites all over, her boss was called and threatened unless he fired her numerous times, and the cops were called to her house several times for false reports. One day, someone rang her doorbell, and she found a giant, hand-bound book where someone had wrote a detailed manifesto of how he was going to come back later that night, break in, and in gruesome detail he described how he would rape and mutilate her.

And you want to sit there and say you're being attacked because someone thought your terrible childcare ideas are terrible?

You wouldn't know cyber bullying if gamergate looked your way. So yes, the OP was acting horrible and selfish towards her wedding party for shallow reasons, and she needed to here it so she didn't go through with it and ruin her friendships. And if that makes either of you feel like this place is too hostile for you, it is. So kindly get off the internet, because you're not ready for it.

ZOMG don't intimidate people or threaten them!!!! 

Nice going, head bitch. Now you're siccing YOUR regs on people?!

mikenberger

ashley8918 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

pinkrevenge said:

Dear @c+j2015 and @heyyou1203

I'd like to tell you both a story of internet bullying I think you'll find relevant.

I know a woman, who several years back when she was a young adult / teen, would play mario smash brothers, tape it, and put it online as a fun snark review for some friends. And when she asked the internet what they thought, this is what happened:
Her accounts and computers were hacked, her faced photoshopped onto pornography and sold to websites all over, her boss was called and threatened unless he fired her numerous times, and the cops were called to her house several times for false reports. One day, someone rang her doorbell, and she found a giant, hand-bound book where someone had wrote a detailed manifesto of how he was going to come back later that night, break in, and in gruesome detail he described how he would rape and mutilate her.

And you want to sit there and say you're being attacked because someone thought your terrible childcare ideas are terrible?

You wouldn't know cyber bullying if gamergate looked your way. So yes, the OP was acting horrible and selfish towards her wedding party for shallow reasons, and she needed to here it so she didn't go through with it and ruin her friendships. And if that makes either of you feel like this place is too hostile for you, it is. So kindly get off the internet, because you're not ready for it.

ZOMG don't intimidate people or threaten them!!!! 

Nice going, head bitch. Now you're siccing YOUR regs on people?!

Why do I have the vision of the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz in my head?

redoryx

mikenberger said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

pinkrevenge said:

Dear @c+j2015 and @heyyou1203

I'd like to tell you both a story of internet bullying I think you'll find relevant.

I know a woman, who several years back when she was a young adult / teen, would play mario smash brothers, tape it, and put it online as a fun snark review for some friends. And when she asked the internet what they thought, this is what happened:
Her accounts and computers were hacked, her faced photoshopped onto pornography and sold to websites all over, her boss was called and threatened unless he fired her numerous times, and the cops were called to her house several times for false reports. One day, someone rang her doorbell, and she found a giant, hand-bound book where someone had wrote a detailed manifesto of how he was going to come back later that night, break in, and in gruesome detail he described how he would rape and mutilate her.

And you want to sit there and say you're being attacked because someone thought your terrible childcare ideas are terrible?

You wouldn't know cyber bullying if gamergate looked your way. So yes, the OP was acting horrible and selfish towards her wedding party for shallow reasons, and she needed to here it so she didn't go through with it and ruin her friendships. And if that makes either of you feel like this place is too hostile for you, it is. So kindly get off the internet, because you're not ready for it.

ZOMG don't intimidate people or threaten them!!!! 

Nice going, head bitch. Now you're siccing YOUR regs on people?!

Why do I have the vision of the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz in my head?

GIFSoup

PrettyGirlLost

mikenberger said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

pinkrevenge said:

Dear @c+j2015 and @heyyou1203

I'd like to tell you both a story of internet bullying I think you'll find relevant.

I know a woman, who several years back when she was a young adult / teen, would play mario smash brothers, tape it, and put it online as a fun snark review for some friends. And when she asked the internet what they thought, this is what happened:
Her accounts and computers were hacked, her faced photoshopped onto pornography and sold to websites all over, her boss was called and threatened unless he fired her numerous times, and the cops were called to her house several times for false reports. One day, someone rang her doorbell, and she found a giant, hand-bound book where someone had wrote a detailed manifesto of how he was going to come back later that night, break in, and in gruesome detail he described how he would rape and mutilate her.

And you want to sit there and say you're being attacked because someone thought your terrible childcare ideas are terrible?

You wouldn't know cyber bullying if gamergate looked your way. So yes, the OP was acting horrible and selfish towards her wedding party for shallow reasons, and she needed to here it so she didn't go through with it and ruin her friendships. And if that makes either of you feel like this place is too hostile for you, it is. So kindly get off the internet, because you're not ready for it.

ZOMG don't intimidate people or threaten them!!!! 

Nice going, head bitch. Now you're siccing YOUR regs on people?!

Why do I have the vision of the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz in my head?

OMFG hahahahaha!

[Deleted User]

manateehugger

You newbies do realize that no one in the long run really gives a shit about your wedding day right?

Sure your parents will keep pictures. You'll keep pictures and eat old frozen cake. People will tell funny stories occasionally. You'll hold happy memories close. But generally, no one really cares. People get married all the fucking time. It is not worth being abrasive and uncompromising to your nearest and dearest over ONE DAY NO ONE WILL REALLY CARE ABOUT IN THE LONG RUN.

People will care more about your marriage than your wedding day. Focus on that.

PrettyGirlLost

manateehugger said:

You newbies do realize that no one in the long run really gives a shit about your wedding day right?

Sure your parents will keep pictures. You'll keep pictures and eat old frozen cake. People will tell funny stories occasionally. You'll hold happy memories close. But generally, no one really cares. People get married all the fucking time. It is not worth being abrasive and uncompromising to your nearest and dearest over ONE DAY NO ONE WILL REALLY CARE ABOUT IN THE LONG RUN.

People will care more about your marriage than your wedding day. Focus on that.

People will also care about and REMEMBER how they were treated all over a friend's or family member's Most Beautiful, Perfect, Special Day®

There are a number of "my regs" who have shared their stories of the damage a wedding has caused a relationship they had with a friend or relative. . . operative word there is HAD.  They are no longer friends or on speaking terms with these people.

mikenberger

manateehugger said:

You newbies do realize that no one in the long run really gives a shit about your wedding day right?

Sure your parents will keep pictures. You'll keep pictures and eat old frozen cake. People will tell funny stories occasionally. You'll hold happy memories close. But generally, no one really cares. People get married all the fucking time. It is not worth being abrasive and uncompromising to your nearest and dearest over ONE DAY NO ONE WILL REALLY CARE ABOUT IN THE LONG RUN.

People will care more about your marriage than your wedding day. Focus on that.

YOU ARE SO MEAN AND UNSUPPORTIVE!! I thought this was a place for support!? WHO WILL SUPPORT ME!?

Dreamergirl8812

This thread makes me:

I'd rather:

ETA: Do you see how this baby is stealing the stuffed animal's spotlight?

manateehugger

mikenberger said:

You newbies do realize that no one in the long run really gives a shit about your wedding day right?

Sure your parents will keep pictures. You'll keep pictures and eat old frozen cake. People will tell funny stories occasionally. You'll hold happy memories close. But generally, no one really cares. People get married all the fucking time. It is not worth being abrasive and uncompromising to your nearest and dearest over ONE DAY NO ONE WILL REALLY CARE ABOUT IN THE LONG RUN.

People will care more about your marriage than your wedding day. Focus on that.

YOU ARE SO MEAN AND UNSUPPORTIVE!! I thought this was a place for support!? WHO WILL SUPPORT ME!?

OMGGEEE no one has ever said I was mean on this site before!!!!!

How about this:

Your wedding day will never be topped ever so make sure it's the best day ever and screw everyone else!!!

Your first anniversary as a happily married couple? Nothing to your wedding day.
Everyone else's wedding days that look essentially the same? Nothing to your wedding day.
The birth of your first child? Nothing to your wedding day.
The wedding day of your children? Nothing to your wedding day.
The birth of your first grandchild? Nothing to your wedding day.
Your 50th anniversary party? Nothing to your wedding day.

Basically, your wedding day is the end all, be all. You might as well die afterward, so make sure it's super duper perfect. Anyone not committed to super duper perfection isn't worthy of your wedding day.

plainjane0415

c+j2015 said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

c+j2015 said:

heyyou1203 said:

PrettyGirlLost Do you know the difference between an opinion and a fact? Because the way you state giving "direct, concise, no bullshit advice" and "how ridiculous and selfish and shallow the OP was coming off" is not a fact, it's your opinion, and heaven forbid I disagree with you. I read her post, I read all the responses, and I still think the majority of people here were being insanely judgmental and harsh. Just as you didn't care that you had a child cry through you're wedding, the OP IS allowed to care. We're all allowed to care about whatever we want to! It's called having free will! You have no right to tell her that she's being ridiculous or selfish for wanting her wedding the way she wants, given that her wishes were pretty simple. No kid weddings, as we've said, are a pretty common thing, so her request should not illicit the kind of battering that it did.

This! 

I did feel very judged. 

Thank you!

Okay, you can feel judged. But would you rather be judged by a bunch of strangers from the internet or by your friends and family?

I'd rather be judged by people who know me and my situation than some stranger who jumps to conclusions. 

Not me. 

plainjane0415

PrettyGirlLost said:

Basically here is what sums it up:

1. Everyone just gave you real, solid advice based on the information you gave. Your friends/family are not going to tell you you're rude to your face. But they will surely say it behind your back. Better to hear it from a bunch of strangers who "DONT KNOW YOU OR YOUR LIFE" than be considered rude by your friends/family. 

2. You are not special and you are not the exception to the rule. 

3. Etiquette applies to you, too. 

4. Children are not props. Invite them to both ceremony and reception, or neither. Simple as that. 

5.. Suggesting that your MOH leave her child with a stranger was wrong and bad and rude and you should apologize to her. You can't decide how she parents her child. 

6. Sides don't need to be even in a bridal party. Ever.

7. A crying baby will not ruin your wedding, and any parent with half a brain would step outside with said crying child anyway to minimize any interruption or distraction during your ceremony. 

8. Nobody called anybody a bitch. Except that one girl. 

9. Child free weddings are fine. But you cannot put "Adults Only" on the invitation or wedding website. That's rude. Check out Invites & Paper board for more info. 

Whew. Is that it? Did I forget anything?

Do you consider yourself a reg, and if so are you a part of "my" regs? Join us, we have cookies!

I love cookies.

chibiyui

This thread. This fucking thread.

Anyway, aside from how people can like, not read the thing that bugs me the most about this thead is.......Why the fuck they featured it in the newsletter.

Seriously, random Knot intern, you saw this thread, the OP, and the then 3 pages of responses, and that the OP had not returned to the thread in the DAYS afterward, and thought "This would be a great and informative thread for the newsletter!"

Either you, random Knot intern, are trolling us. (In which case, *slow clap*) or you are really need to get a job that does not in any way deal with the internet. 

drunkenwitch

pinkrevenge said:

I resent being called someone's flying monkey.

I am a beautiful primate-shaped parrot.

And I am not a Flying Monkey either, I AM GODDAMNED WILTING DELICATE FUCKING FLOWER!

mikenberger

drunkenwitch said:

pinkrevenge said:

I resent being called someone's flying monkey.

I am a beautiful primate-shaped parrot.

And I am not a Flying Monkey either, I AM GODDAMNED WILTING DELICATE FUCKING FLOWER!

Which totally goes with your sig gif!

ashley8918

PrettyGirlLost said:

heyyou1203 said:

ashley8918 said:

Again, where did this happen? No one called the OP a bitch, and no one threatened you.

You keep using these words. I don't think you know what they mean.

The "threat" was not in reference to anyone calling anyone a bitch. it was referring to the intimidating language that PrettyGirlLost was trying to use to make me feel like I didn't belong, that my opinion isn't valid on a public forum, and that she and her "regs" are superior to every other poster.



LMFAO!

"You are out of your league" is threatening language?!  I'm with Ashley, I don't think you know the actual meaning of the words you are using.

I was stating that you are in over your head. . . which clearly you are.

I never said your opinion wasn't valid. . . why do you keep misrepresenting what is actually being said in this thread?

I also never said "my regs" are superior. . . I was telling you that you can't really school us on the TOS.

Ladies, all your bitches* are belong to me now, mwahahahahahaha!  I'm apparently the Don of the Reg Mafia now.

*Bitches in this context is used to describe a group of women in an inclusive, "street" way, not as a term meant as an insult.


-----------------------------
Watch out! Joking about bitches is a warnable offense here now!







Fucking eyerolls forever.

PrettyGirlLost

drunkenwitch said:

pinkrevenge said:

I resent being called someone's flying monkey.

I am a beautiful primate-shaped parrot.

And I am not a Flying Monkey either, I AM GODDAMNED WILTING DELICATE FUCKING FLOWER!

You shush, and bring me those goddamned ruby slippers!

Maggie0829

I really fucking hate when newbs come on here and decide that they need to apologize for what other posters have said.  If you are one of these people tempted to do this in the future, please refer to my signature.

redoryx

Maggie0829 said:

I really fucking hate when newbs come on here and decide that they need to apologize for what other posters have said.  If you are one of these people tempted to do this in the future, please refer to my signature.

Seriously. I'm a grown up, I speak with intent and purpose and own my words. I don't need anyone apologizing for me.

chelsea1013

I will never in my life understand why people have to be so hurtful and disrespectful to people that are putting themselves out there and asking for advice.

She came here looking for advice and if she wants to be selfish on her wedding day...SHE CAN BE!

Your wedding day is supposed to be special and magical and everything you want it to be. You're allowed to be a tad bit selfish.

I agree with one of the commenters that maybe she can suggest bringing someone along to watch the baby that the parents are comfortable with. I think that would be the best option for this whole situation.

I also understand where she is coming from though. I had to make the decision to replace my maid of honor because she was having a baby and couldn't devote as much time to me as I would have liked and she was always putting the guilt trip on me for having my wedding the same year she was having a baby. And every single day I am more and more confident with my decision.

Go ahead and call me what you want but no one fully knows the situation. Nor do you fully understand what this girl is going through either.

No one has any right to judge her and if you didn't have any solid advice for her you shouldn't have even commented on this post at all. Keep your negative, rude and hurtful comments to yourself. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate it if it was you in her place.

mikenberger

chelsea1013 said:

I will never in my life understand why people have to be so hurtful and disrespectful to people that are putting themselves out there and asking for advice.

She came here looking for advice and if she wants to be selfish on her wedding day...SHE CAN BE!

Your wedding day is supposed to be special and magical and everything you want it to be. You're allowed to be a tad bit selfish.

I agree with one of the commenters that maybe she can suggest bringing someone along to watch the baby that the parents are comfortable with. I think that would be the best option for this whole situation.

I also understand where she is coming from though. I had to make the decision to replace my maid of honor because she was having a baby and couldn't devote as much time to me as I would have liked and she was always putting the guilt trip on me for having my wedding the same year she was having a baby. And every single day I am more and more confident with my decision.

Go ahead and call me what you want but no one fully knows the situation. Nor do you fully understand what this girl is going through either.

No one has any right to judge her and if you didn't have any solid advice for her you shouldn't have even commented on this post at all. Keep your negative, rude and hurtful comments to yourself. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate it if it was you in her place.

You are the worst. Your friend is better off not being your friend.

plainjane0415

chelsea1013 said:

I will never in my life understand why people have to be so hurtful and disrespectful to people that are putting themselves out there and asking for advice.

She came here looking for advice and if she wants to be selfish on her wedding day...SHE CAN BE!

Your wedding day is supposed to be special and magical and everything you want it to be. You're allowed to be a tad bit selfish.

I agree with one of the commenters that maybe she can suggest bringing someone along to watch the baby that the parents are comfortable with. I think that would be the best option for this whole situation.

I also understand where she is coming from though. I had to make the decision to replace my maid of honor because she was having a baby and couldn't devote as much time to me as I would have liked and she was always putting the guilt trip on me for having my wedding the same year she was having a baby. And every single day I am more and more confident with my decision.

Go ahead and call me what you want but no one fully knows the situation. Nor do you fully understand what this girl is going through either.

No one has any right to judge her and if you didn't have any solid advice for her you shouldn't have even commented on this post at all. Keep your negative, rude and hurtful comments to yourself. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate it if it was you in her place.

Is it worth being selfish if you lose a friend/family member over it?  I don't think so.

ETA:  Family member

plainjane0415

chelsea1013 said:

I will never in my life understand why people have to be so hurtful and disrespectful to people that are putting themselves out there and asking for advice.

She came here looking for advice and if she wants to be selfish on her wedding day...SHE CAN BE!

Your wedding day is supposed to be special and magical and everything you want it to be. You're allowed to be a tad bit selfish.

I agree with one of the commenters that maybe she can suggest bringing someone along to watch the baby that the parents are comfortable with. I think that would be the best option for this whole situation.

I also understand where she is coming from though. I had to make the decision to replace my maid of honor because she was having a baby and couldn't devote as much time to me as I would have liked and she was always putting the guilt trip on me for having my wedding the same year she was having a baby. And every single day I am more and more confident with my decision.

Go ahead and call me what you want but no one fully knows the situation. Nor do you fully understand what this girl is going through either.

No one has any right to judge her and if you didn't have any solid advice for her you shouldn't have even commented on this post at all. Keep your negative, rude and hurtful comments to yourself. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate it if it was you in her place.

I stopped reading at the bolded, but now that I read the rest of the post, what a great friend you are. How much attention do you need seriously?  I would think it was weird if my friends were stopping everything in their lives to sit and stare at me all day on my wedding day... so weird.

flantastic

chelsea1013 said:

I will never in my life understand why people have to be so hurtful and disrespectful to people that are putting themselves out there and asking for advice.

She came here looking for advice and if she wants to be selfish on her wedding day...SHE CAN BE!

Your wedding day is supposed to be special and magical and everything you want it to be. You're allowed to be a tad bit selfish.

I agree with one of the commenters that maybe she can suggest bringing someone along to watch the baby that the parents are comfortable with. I think that would be the best option for this whole situation.

I also understand where she is coming from though. I had to make the decision to replace my maid of honor because she was having a baby and couldn't devote as much time to me as I would have liked and she was always putting the guilt trip on me for having my wedding the same year she was having a baby. And every single day I am more and more confident with my decision.

Go ahead and call me what you want but no one fully knows the situation. Nor do you fully understand what this girl is going through either.

No one has any right to judge her and if you didn't have any solid advice for her you shouldn't have even commented on this post at all. Keep your negative, rude and hurtful comments to yourself. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate it if it was you in her place.

Anytime anyone legitimately believes "magical" is a word that should describe their wedding day...

Let us know when you work out that the gravitational pull of the universe didn't center upon you because someone asked you to marry them. I promise you your friends and family already know.

Edit - words

[Deleted User]

redoryx

chelsea1013 said:

I will never in my life understand why people have to be so hurtful and disrespectful to people that are putting themselves out there and asking for advice.

She came here looking for advice and if she wants to be selfish on her wedding day...SHE CAN BE!

Your wedding day is supposed to be special and magical and everything you want it to be. You're allowed to be a tad bit selfish.

I agree with one of the commenters that maybe she can suggest bringing someone along to watch the baby that the parents are comfortable with. I think that would be the best option for this whole situation.

I also understand where she is coming from though. I had to make the decision to replace my maid of honor because she was having a baby and couldn't devote as much time to me as I would have liked and she was always putting the guilt trip on me for having my wedding the same year she was having a baby. And every single day I am more and more confident with my decision.

Go ahead and call me what you want but no one fully knows the situation. Nor do you fully understand what this girl is going through either.

No one has any right to judge her and if you didn't have any solid advice for her you shouldn't have even commented on this post at all. Keep your negative, rude and hurtful comments to yourself. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate it if it was you in her place.

OMG HOW DARE YOUR FRIEND BE MORE CONCERNED WITH THE HUMAN CHILD GROWING INSIDE OF HER RATHER THAN THE PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.

plainjane0415

I'm allowed to be selfish, because....magic.

That's how I feel when someone refers to having a magical wedding.

[Deleted User]

NowIAmSyp

Knottie72715334 said:

I feel ya, hon. And I dislike the others on here who are berating you for YOUR day. And it is YOUR DAY. You want them to be there for you, and their families get them for the rest of their lives. I get it. As for your problem, *sigh* - you may need to compromise. The ceremony will be quick, hopefully, and then your friend can pick up her child as she's walking down the isle and head out to the reception with her family while you and the others take your pictures and get ready for the reception. Think of a "win-win" situation, and maybe even talk to her again in private. Find out if she has a solution as well. And do ignore these other female "nay-sayers" on here - selfish? Damn right you are! It's your wedding! But being selfish doesn't mean you can't compromise. Good luck!