"Let's go to Vegas this weekend and get hitched"

SBmini

That is seriously how my sister's bf decided to propose to her! I told her that's ridiculous that she deserves an honest proposal and she said "that's not like him." I don't think it matters what is or isn't like him, she deserves a legitimate proposal, not a proposition for a quick trip to Vegas. Everyone is going to ask how he proposed, and while she doesn't need some story about champagne and hot air balloons, but I think she deserves a better memory than just being asked to go to Vegas. 

Am I being ridiculous? 

EDIT- He asked over text and she said no. As in, no I don't want to get married this weekend. Opposed to no, I don't want to marry you. But because that's the question he asked- that's the response he got. She wants a Vegas wedding, but she wants a planned Vegas wedding with people there. Not an elopement. Apparently, he's popped the question to her this way a few times, and every time she's said no. I sent him a message suggesting that maybe he ask her to get married first, then they can plan the trip to Vegas afterwards. 

ashley8918

SBmini said:

That is seriously how my sister's bf decided to propose to her! I told her that's ridiculous that she deserves an honest proposal and she said "that's not like him." I don't think it matters what is or isn't like him, she deserves a legitimate proposal, not a proposition for a quick trip to Vegas. Everyone is going to ask how he proposed, and while she doesn't need some story about champagne and hot air balloons, but I think she deserves a better memory than just being asked to go to Vegas. 

Am I being ridiculous? 

Yes, you are being incredibly ridiculous. 

What the fuck is illegitimate or dishonest about this proposal?

ashley8918

I am willing to bet that a few people here were proposed to in a similar way and would take great offense to your implication that their proposal was somehow not worthy.

climbingsingle

Yes, you're being ridiculous. 

Is your sister happy? That's all that should matter. Even if she isn't, it's her life and you should butt out. 

[Deleted User]

VulgarGirl

Is your sister, ya know the one marrying this dude, upset by the proposal? Or are you upset on her behalf?

My mom proposed to my step-mom by saying "Hey, prop 8 got overturned, lets go to Cali and do this" and that was what they did. And they invited us. Boom done, awesome story.

SBmini

For one he texted it to her. And secondly, I don't think it is legitimate. "Let's go to Vegas" and "Will you  marry me" are two very different questions. I know my sister wants to go to Vegas, but I also know she wants to plan something and have some people there. Let's go this weekend is not her idea of the ideal wedding. 

beethery

Yes.

Your opinion of what they've decided works for them is irrelevant. If it makes her happy, that is obviously good enough for her.

bethsmiles

I do think you are being ridiculous. If she's happy be happy for her. It probably really sucked that your response was "You deserve a real proposal" What she deserves is to not have the proposal she got judged as not good enough.

theartistformerlyknownas

Yes, preposterously ridiculous. Who are you to judge someone else's proposal, or determine what anyone else "deserves" or thinks is "legitimate" or "better?" That's super shitty.

SBmini

climbingwife said:

Yes, you're being ridiculous. 

Is your sister happy? That's all that should matter. Even if she isn't, it's her life and you should butt out. 

She said no. As in, no, let's not go to Vegas this weekend and get married. 

climbingsingle

SBmini said:

For one he texted it to her. And secondly, I don't think it is legitimate. "Let's go to Vegas" and "Will you  marry me" are two very different questions. I know my sister wants to go to Vegas, but I also know she wants to plan something and have some people there. Let's go this weekend is not her idea of the ideal wedding. 

My H didn't even say "Will you marry me?" He said, "Will you be mine forever?" So I guess that doesn't pass your test of a proper proposal. 

And I like how NOW he texted it to her. Why didn't you mention that before?

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User]

VulgarGirl

SBmini said:

climbingwife said:

Yes, you're being ridiculous. 

Is your sister happy? That's all that should matter. Even if she isn't, it's her life and you should butt out. 

She said no. As in, no, let's not go to Vegas this weekend and get married. 

Ok, so she doesn't want to go to Vegas and get married this weekend. So she's not going to. And? I mean if he kidnaps and forces her to marry him with a gun pointed to her head then yes get worried. Call the cops.

If it simply doesn't live up to your standards well...too fucking bad. Did your sister get a say in how your husband proposed to you? Was it up to her standards? Or did she not fucking care? 

beethery

SBmini said:

climbingwife said:

Yes, you're being ridiculous. 

Is your sister happy? That's all that should matter. Even if she isn't, it's her life and you should butt out. 

She said no. As in, no, let's not go to Vegas this weekend and get married. 

And you still felt the need to crab about it? She and her bf will figure out for themselves.

VulgarGirl

climbingwife said:

SBmini said:

For one he texted it to her. And secondly, I don't think it is legitimate. "Let's go to Vegas" and "Will you  marry me" are two very different questions. I know my sister wants to go to Vegas, but I also know she wants to plan something and have some people there. Let's go this weekend is not her idea of the ideal wedding. 

My H didn't even say "Will you marry me?" He said, "Will you be mine forever?" So I guess that doesn't pass your test of a proper proposal. 

And I like how NOW he texted it to her. Why didn't you mention that before?

I said "Hey wanna get married?" and 8 years later she said "Will you fucking marry me already!" 

Not deep and romantic soul searching staring into each other eyes over a candlelit dinner while reciting everything we loved about each other. Cause that ain't how we roll.

climbingsingle

beethery said:

SBmini said:

climbingwife said:

Yes, you're being ridiculous. 

Is your sister happy? That's all that should matter. Even if she isn't, it's her life and you should butt out. 

She said no. As in, no, let's not go to Vegas this weekend and get married. 

And you still felt the need to crab about it? She and her bf will figure out for themselves.

Exactly. So if she said no, why is this an issue. Again, my suggestion is to butt out. 

SBmini

climbingwife said:

SBmini said:

For one he texted it to her. And secondly, I don't think it is legitimate. "Let's go to Vegas" and "Will you  marry me" are two very different questions. I know my sister wants to go to Vegas, but I also know she wants to plan something and have some people there. Let's go this weekend is not her idea of the ideal wedding. 

My H didn't even say "Will you marry me?" He said, "Will you be mine forever?" So I guess that doesn't pass your test of a proper proposal. 

And I like how NOW he texted it to her. Why didn't you mention that before?

I didn't mention it before because I just found out. First post edited.

theartistformerlyknownas

If she said no to the "get married in Vegas" proposition, then it's on him to decide if he wants to ask her something else. "Let's go to Atlantic City and get married then," or "let's go down to the county clerk's office" or yeah, "let's just get married by whatever means necessary, even a big white dress wedding." But that's between them, and none of those is an illegitimate proposal, it's just proposing a different thing than you would want. 

ashley8918

SBmini said:

For one he texted it to her. And secondly, I don't think it is legitimate. "Let's go to Vegas" and "Will you  marry me" are two very different questions. I know my sister wants to go to Vegas, but I also know she wants to plan something and have some people there. Let's go this weekend is not her idea of the ideal wedding. 

No. "Let's go to Vegas and get hitched" = "lets get married"/"will you marry me?" They are the same question.

There is nothing that is illegitimate about this, and it's really none of your damn business anyway. Butt out.

An re: the text? Riiiighhhhhhtttt. I'm sure you didn't just pull this out of your ass when you didn't get the expected response. Because, you totally wouldn't have mentioned it in your OP about an "illegitimate" "dishonest" proposal if it were true. /end sarcasm

SBmini

pinkrevenge said:

SBmini said:

climbingwife said:

Yes, you're being ridiculous. 

Is your sister happy? That's all that should matter. Even if she isn't, it's her life and you should butt out. 

She said no. As in, no, let's not go to Vegas this weekend and get married. 

You still need to butt out. You're not part of their relationship, even if you are close to your sister.

She's my sister. She tells me her opinion, I tell her mine. That's how a relationship works. Obviously she didn't think it was the most awesome thing ever because she said no. I think when he asks her again he should put a little bit more effort in it and that is what I told her. She can agree or disagree with me, but that's my opinion. She's my sister, I love her, and I wan the best for her. 

climbingsingle

SBmini said:

pinkrevenge said:

SBmini said:

climbingwife said:

Yes, you're being ridiculous. 

Is your sister happy? That's all that should matter. Even if she isn't, it's her life and you should butt out. 

She said no. As in, no, let's not go to Vegas this weekend and get married. 

You still need to butt out. You're not part of their relationship, even if you are close to your sister.

She's my sister. She tells me her opinion, I tell her mine. That's how a relationship works. Obviously she didn't think it was the most awesome thing ever because she said no. I think when he asks her again he should put a little bit more effort in it and that is what I told her. She can agree or disagree with me, but that's my opinion. She's my sister, I love her, and I wan the best for her. 

Thank you for the information on how relationships work. I wasn't sure about that. I usually just grunt at my brother and throw things at his head. 

bethsmiles

SBmini said:

That is seriously how my sister's bf decided to propose to her! I told her that's ridiculous that she deserves an honest proposal and she said "that's not like him." I don't think it matters what is or isn't like him, she deserves a legitimate proposal, not a proposition for a quick trip to Vegas. Everyone is going to ask how he proposed, and while she doesn't need some story about champagne and hot air balloons, but I think she deserves a better memory than just being asked to go to Vegas. 

Am I being ridiculous? 

EDIT- He asked over text and she said no. As in, no I don't want to get married this weekend. Opposed to no, I don't want to marry you. But because that's the question he asked- that's the response he got. She wants a Vegas wedding, but she wants a planned Vegas wedding with people there. Not an elopement. Apparently, he's popped the question to her this way a few times, and every time she's said no. I sent him a message suggesting that maybe he ask her to get married first, then they can plan the trip to Vegas afterwards. 

They need to figure out how to communicate then. I think sending him a message was overstepping. They are adults in a relationship, this should be something they can figure out without you.

novella1186

My FI popped the question in the car, in a parking lot, in the dark (so I couldn't even see the ring) because I had inadvertently ruined his plan. And the fact that it happened kind of hap-hazard in that way makes it a story I LOVE. 

If someone else decided that it was not a legitimate proposal and not a good enough story, so I needed a do-over, I would be incredibly hurt. And I'd also wonder how that's any of their business. 

The point of it was for my FI to ask me to spend my life with him; not to have a big story that pleases other people. 

lyndausvi

DH didn't ask me to marry him either.

Nope one day I showed up at our work's smelly loading dock and DH said "Hey, I just asked boss man for the first week of July off to ask your parents for their blessing to marry you".

This was in Feb.

But the time July came around his mom (who I had never met) sent down a diamond.  DH takes me to a store to have the setting custom set.   DH meets my dad and then hands me the ring.  The words "will you marry me" never were said.

STUPIDEST STORY EVER.

However, it didn't make our commitment to each other any less valid then someone who had a more 'romantic' experience. 

RebeccaFlower

I think you should butt out of things that have nothing to do with you. 

cakemurderer

I understand why you find it odd, especially since it's not your idea of an ideal proposal (it's not mine either), but this is really something between the two of them. If she's unhappy about the lack of a "proper" proposal, she should say something to him. It's a shame you stepped in and messaged him since that sounds like meddling, something either he or she might not appreciate. It's not your place to tell him how to propose to her. 

I think if people ask her how he proposed and she tells them the Vegas story, it'll probably get a laugh. And if someone's shallow and judgmental enough to decide that it wasn't a good enough proposal, who cares what they think? 

[Deleted User]

ashley8918

SBmini said:

pinkrevenge said:

SBmini said:

climbingwife said:

Yes, you're being ridiculous. 

Is your sister happy? That's all that should matter. Even if she isn't, it's her life and you should butt out. 

She said no. As in, no, let's not go to Vegas this weekend and get married. 

You still need to butt out. You're not part of their relationship, even if you are close to your sister.

She's my sister. She tells me her opinion, I tell her mine. That's how a relationship works. Obviously she didn't think it was the most awesome thing ever because she said no. I think when he asks her again he should put a little bit more effort in it and that is what I told her. She can agree or disagree with me, but that's my opinion. She's my sister, I love her, and I wan the best for her. 

Except there is nothing about this that was "bad" for her. He didn't propose to her at gunpoint. He didn't rape her and make her his bride (which happens). He didn't roofie her and then propose to her.

Stop being so damn judgmental about the way people choose to propose (or choose to live, or like, everything ever).

I was proposed to mid-sex. Yup. Betcha that doesn't get your super duper perfect seal of approval, but that doesn't make it illegitimate or dishonest in any way.

climbingsingle

I can't believe you messaged him. Dude. Just no.