"Let's go to Vegas this weekend and get hitched"

theartistformerlyknownas

SBmini said:

pinkrevenge said:

SBmini said:

climbingwife said:

Yes, you're being ridiculous. 

Is your sister happy? That's all that should matter. Even if she isn't, it's her life and you should butt out. 

She said no. As in, no, let's not go to Vegas this weekend and get married. 

You still need to butt out. You're not part of their relationship, even if you are close to your sister.

She's my sister. She tells me her opinion, I tell her mine. That's how a relationship works. Obviously she didn't think it was the most awesome thing ever because she said no. I think when he asks her again he should put a little bit more effort in it and that is what I told her. She can agree or disagree with me, but that's my opinion. She's my sister, I love her, and I wan the best for her. 

Then the post should have been:

I feel so bummed for my sis. Her BF keeps asking her to run off to Vegas and get hitched, but she's really hoping for a planned Vegas wedding instead and he's just not asking her that particular question so she has to keep saying no. Trying to help her communicate more effectively so they can find a happy middle ground. We'd love for him to propose in a way that she'd say yes because they really are great together! Any tips?

VulgarGirl

So did your sister say "No" because she doesn't want to elope or no because he didn't ask in what you deem a proper manner? Because those are two very different things.

If he says "Hey, lets plan to go to Vegas and get hitched in 6 months" and your sister says yes, are you gonna throw a fit over that proposal too? 

This is not your proposal, your wedding, or your relationship. You don't have to like the way he proposes to her. But guess what sweetheart? He ain't proposing to you. If he asks for advice on how to propose give advice for WHAT SHE WOULD LIKE. Not what you would like. Despite being sisters you are two separate and different people. Otherwise, listen to your sister, tell her to talk to her boyfriend about what she wants, and then go decorate your kid's nursery or something cause it ain't none ya business.

novella1186

pinkrevenge said:

SBmini said:

pinkrevenge said:

SBmini said:

climbingwife said:

Yes, you're being ridiculous. 

Is your sister happy? That's all that should matter. Even if she isn't, it's her life and you should butt out. 

She said no. As in, no, let's not go to Vegas this weekend and get married. 

You still need to butt out. You're not part of their relationship, even if you are close to your sister.

She's my sister. She tells me her opinion, I tell her mine. That's how a relationship works. Obviously she didn't think it was the most awesome thing ever because she said no. I think when he asks her again he should put a little bit more effort in it and that is what I told her. She can agree or disagree with me, but that's my opinion. She's my sister, I love her, and I wan the best for her. 

Okay, then don't put that shit online. I'm a sister too, and YOU ASKED if you were freaking out. I am also a sister who also had to listen to my sister talk about my proposal, and I gave you my perspective based on what you put here.

You maybe wanna stop acting like a newbie snowflake now?

I'm a sister whose sister told me everything about my wedding wasn't up to her standards. Wasn't good enough. FI and I were doing it all wrong. It has been 8 months since I've spoken to her, so that worked out well. 

teddygirl9

My mom got engaged on Friday, and said the same thing! She'd way rather goto vegas.

 

People propose in their own ways. I don't think its fair of you to judge.

 

ETA - EVEN if he did text, which I'm not sure I 100% believe, people do that now. It's not my ideal proposal, but whatever.

ashley8918

climbingwife said:

I can't believe you messaged him. Dude. Just no. 

So fucking horribly rude and out of line, even for someone who judges potential real estate holdings based on their proximity to trailer parks and check cashing places.

[Deleted User]

Maggie0829

I think judging how someone proposes is not the smartest thing to do.  Just because it doesn't meet your standards doesn't make it wrong.  Everyone gets asked differently.  Some people go the elaborate, over the top route, while others do a simple "hey lets get married!"  Neither is better or worse,

And the fact that you sent him a message is a bit ridiculous.  Your sister is an adult and if she does not like the fact that he continues to ask her in this manner then she needs to speak up for herself. And maybe this is a little joke between the two of them.  Or maybe it is some silly thing that he does because he is preparing a big elaborate thing and he is just trying to trick her.  You really have no idea so you just need to stay out of it.

sarawifenow

I ran away from H when he proposed. Not because it wasn't up to my standards but because I was so shocked. An outsider looking in would think I wasn't happy with the proposal, but H and I both know it was perfect.

 

What I am trying to say is that standards for relationships are not the same across the board.

ashley8918

pinkrevenge said:

Maybe the boyfriend should propose to SB instead and then she can relay to her sister whether or not it was good enough that she said yes on her behalf.

And they should probably run all of the wedding details by her, too. You know, just to make sure they are legitimate.

"Sister, I am going to wear purple zebra underwear to my wedding."

"Oh, noooooo. You poor dear. You are so lucky to have me. Everyone knows that blue underwear legitimize a wedding. And besides, animal prints indicate that you are from a BAD neighborhood. Nonono. We can't have that."

VulgarGirl

@lyndausvi, I've heard your proposal story a few times on here and...I for one fucking love it!

It paints a pretty clear picture of your DH for me. I imagine him as a guy who makes a decision on what to do, a plan on what to do, and then follows that plan. And I picture you as someone who rolls with punches. Which when you then talk about your tropical storm wedding...proves that your both people who go "Yep, well shit happens, just keep going", I like that in people.

climbingsingle

ashley8918 said:

pinkrevenge said:

Maybe the boyfriend should propose to SB instead and then she can relay to her sister whether or not it was good enough that she said yes on her behalf.

And they should probably run all of the wedding details by her, too. You know, just to make sure they are legitimate.

"Sister, I am going to wear purple zebra underwear to my wedding."

"Oh, noooooo. You poor dear. You are so lucky to have me. Everyone knows that blue underwear legitimize a wedding. And besides, animal prints indicate that you are from a BAD neighborhood. Nonono. We can't have that."

I'm pretty sure zebra underwear are trailer park trashy. 

ashley8918

climbingwife said:

ashley8918 said:

pinkrevenge said:

Maybe the boyfriend should propose to SB instead and then she can relay to her sister whether or not it was good enough that she said yes on her behalf.

And they should probably run all of the wedding details by her, too. You know, just to make sure they are legitimate.

"Sister, I am going to wear purple zebra underwear to my wedding."

"Oh, noooooo. You poor dear. You are so lucky to have me. Everyone knows that blue underwear legitimize a wedding. And besides, animal prints indicate that you are from a BAD neighborhood. Nonono. We can't have that."

I'm pretty sure zebra underwear are trailer park trashy. 

I wear zebra underwear every time I go to the check cashing place.

climbingsingle

ashley8918 said:

climbingwife said:

ashley8918 said:

pinkrevenge said:

Maybe the boyfriend should propose to SB instead and then she can relay to her sister whether or not it was good enough that she said yes on her behalf.

And they should probably run all of the wedding details by her, too. You know, just to make sure they are legitimate.

"Sister, I am going to wear purple zebra underwear to my wedding."

"Oh, noooooo. You poor dear. You are so lucky to have me. Everyone knows that blue underwear legitimize a wedding. And besides, animal prints indicate that you are from a BAD neighborhood. Nonono. We can't have that."

I'm pretty sure zebra underwear are trailer park trashy. 

I wear zebra underwear every time I go to the check cashing place.

VulgarGirl

climbingwife said:

ashley8918 said:

pinkrevenge said:

Maybe the boyfriend should propose to SB instead and then she can relay to her sister whether or not it was good enough that she said yes on her behalf.

And they should probably run all of the wedding details by her, too. You know, just to make sure they are legitimate.

"Sister, I am going to wear purple zebra underwear to my wedding."

"Oh, noooooo. You poor dear. You are so lucky to have me. Everyone knows that blue underwear legitimize a wedding. And besides, animal prints indicate that you are from a BAD neighborhood. Nonono. We can't have that."

I'm pretty sure zebra underwear are trailer park trashy. 

Hey I'm wearing...oh no wait...didn't have clean undies today...it's commando day.

I'm like six different kinds of white trash. 

Fran1985

You went past the line on a rocket ship. Seriously. Your post is so condescending and mean to your sister and her bf. It is also so outdated to feel like "the best for her" involves a proposal up to some arbitrary standard. If people chose to do that, that's great. But women don't have to sit around waiting for a proposal (and in a lot of cases- don't) they can ask, they can make the decision together. Does your sister know you messaged him?

Just to kind of put this in perspective- I'm going to call your sister's bf Dan. This is the equivalant of Dan's brother going on a message board and complaining that his brother is dating someone overweight. And then messaging your sister and suggest she lose weight so Dan can have a wife that's the "right" size and that he "deserves".

Can you imagine 1) how much that would hurt your sister 2) how much that would enrage Dan, and 3) how completely NONE OF HIS BROTHERS BUSINESS that would be?

You are butting into a really shallow thing that is absolutely none of your business.

ashley8918

Fran1985 said:

You went past the line on a rocket ship. Seriously. Your post is so condescending and mean to your sister and her bf. It is also so outdated to feel like "the best for her" involves a proposal up to some arbitrary standard. If people chose to do that, that's great. But women don't have to sit around waiting for a proposal (and in a lot of cases- don't) they can ask, they can make the decision together. Does your sister know you messaged him?

Just to kind of put this in perspective- I'm going to call your sister's bf Dan. This is the equivalant of Dan's brother going on a message board and complaining that his brother is dating someone overweight. And then messaging your sister and suggest she lose weight so Dan can have a wife that's the "right" size and that he "deserves".

Can you imagine 1) how much that would hurt your sister 2) how much that would enrage Dan, and 3) how completely NONE OF HIS BROTHERS BUSINESS that would be?

You are putting into a really shallow thing that is absolutely none of your business.

FRAN 4 PREZ.

Cookie Pusher

I wish DH asked me to go to elope in Vegas. Instead, I ruined his proposal plan by having to pee immediately after getting home from work and shoving him out of my way. And then not giving him an answer for a while when he did ask.

Wait... do I get a do-over?!

lyndausvi

MagicInk said:

@lyndausvi, I've heard your proposal story a few times on here and...I for one fucking love it!

It paints a pretty clear picture of your DH for me. I imagine him as a guy who makes a decision on what to do, a plan on what to do, and then follows that plan. And I picture you as someone who rolls with punches. Which when you then talk about your tropical storm wedding...proves that your both people who go "Yep, well shit happens, just keep going", I like that in people.

Yep, you have us both pegged.

He gets so excited about something.  Add in he is NOT able to keep a secret to save his life, well you just have to go with the flow.

Living in the islands helped us get that way too.   If you are a plan A person you would be a stressful mess all the fucking time.    Nope, when  you live in the islands you have realize sometimes you end up with plan D.   You can't get simple things, power goes out all the time, whatever.

For example:   When having a dinner party in the states you make a menu and then go to the store. 

 In the islands you go to the store and figure out a menu based on what you can get that day.   If you have a set idea you will be disappointed as there is always something you can't get on island that day.  Once you get home you just pray the power stays on. If not your plans might change if you happen to have an electric stove.  I've planned on a dinner party, then ended up at a restaurant that had a generator because we lost power.   Oh well.  

climbingsingle

My dad said to my mom, "So, uh, do you want to get married?" And she was all, "Ok." There was NO RING. 

I know. This is shocking. 

They will be married 45 years this June. 

ETA: But hey, maybe I should shit all over those happy years and tell my mom that she didn't get the proposal that she deserved. 

theartistformerlyknownas

Careful guys, she might start telling us she feels sorry for our SOs pretty soon, because we just don't understand.

[Deleted User]

drunkenwitch

KatWAG

SBmini said:

That is seriously how my sister's bf decided to propose to her! I told her that's ridiculous that she deserves an honest proposal and she said "that's not like him." I don't think it matters what is or isn't like him, she deserves a legitimate proposal, not a proposition for a quick trip to Vegas. Everyone is going to ask how he proposed, and while she doesn't need some story about champagne and hot air balloons, but I think she deserves a better memory than just being asked to go to Vegas. 

Am I being ridiculous? 

EDIT- He asked over text and she said no. As in, no I don't want to get married this weekend. Opposed to no, I don't want to marry you. But because that's the question he asked- that's the response he got. She wants a Vegas wedding, but she wants a planned Vegas wedding with people there. Not an elopement. Apparently, he's popped the question to her this way a few times, and every time she's said no. I sent him a message suggesting that maybe he ask her to get married first, then they can plan the trip to Vegas afterwards. 

-----Box fail------

Why did you text? Why are you getting invovled? This isnt any of your business.

redoryx

So, hold up. Your sister has TOLD YOU that an "honest" and "legitimate" proposal (whatever the fuck that means) isn't like her BF yet you still expect him to propose in that way just because. Pretty sure the only right kind of proposal is one that is honest and legitimate to a person's personality. If that means "Hey, wanna get hitched in Vegas this weekend?" over text then SO BE IT.

If she has a problem with it or wants a different style of proposal than SHE needs to tell him that.

Does she know you messaged him?

VulgarGirl

Lets see my dad asked my mom...3 times I think. And finally on the third time he said "Look, if we get married we can live family housing together and my mom will help us out financially" so she said fine and they went to the courthouse.

My mom asked my step mom by going "Prop 8 got over turned, lets go to Callie and do this thing".

My dad asked my step mom...no wait, my step-mom asked my dad by going "Well if you want to adopt the boys you should marry me, it'll make it easier" and dad "Said ok", then step-mom said "I think I want a spring wedding". 

Lots of romance going on. Everyone is pretty happy though so...

maeday2

My BIL asks me for Christmas gift ideas for my sister. 

He never asked me how to propose to her because they're two adults who can decide to get married without my input. 

Let them have their own story. It ain't yours. 

Couggal12

I would be really upset if my sister got involved in my relationship like that. You need to stay out of it and let her communicate with her BF and figure out what is best for both of them. 

beethery

SBmini said:

That is seriously how my sister's bf decided to propose to her! I told her that's ridiculous that she deserves an honest proposal and she said "that's not like him." I don't think it matters what is or isn't like him, she deserves a legitimate proposal, not a proposition for a quick trip to Vegas. Everyone is going to ask how he proposed, and while she doesn't need some story about champagne and hot air balloons, but I think she deserves a better memory than just being asked to go to Vegas. 

Am I being ridiculous? 

EDIT- He asked over text and she said no. As in, no I don't want to get married this weekend. Opposed to no, I don't want to marry you. But because that's the question he asked- that's the response he got. She wants a Vegas wedding, but she wants a planned Vegas wedding with people there. Not an elopement. Apparently, he's popped the question to her this way a few times, and every time she's said no. I sent him a message suggesting that maybe he ask her to get married first, then they can plan the trip to Vegas afterwards. 

So do you leave your enormous balls in the car when you go into different places during the day, or do you have like... a backpack or a cart that you keep them in? I mean, I imagine you have to keep them somewhat close at hand so you can use them as a battering ram to butt into situations you are not even remotely involved in at any given time.

KatWAG

I am dying to know how the boyfriend responded to sbmini's text. Something tells me, he didint accept her advice with open arms.

ashley8918

beethery said:

SBmini said:

That is seriously how my sister's bf decided to propose to her! I told her that's ridiculous that she deserves an honest proposal and she said "that's not like him." I don't think it matters what is or isn't like him, she deserves a legitimate proposal, not a proposition for a quick trip to Vegas. Everyone is going to ask how he proposed, and while she doesn't need some story about champagne and hot air balloons, but I think she deserves a better memory than just being asked to go to Vegas. 

Am I being ridiculous? 

EDIT- He asked over text and she said no. As in, no I don't want to get married this weekend. Opposed to no, I don't want to marry you. But because that's the question he asked- that's the response he got. She wants a Vegas wedding, but she wants a planned Vegas wedding with people there. Not an elopement. Apparently, he's popped the question to her this way a few times, and every time she's said no. I sent him a message suggesting that maybe he ask her to get married first, then they can plan the trip to Vegas afterwards. 

So do you leave your enormous balls in the car when you go into different places during the day, or do you have like... a backpack or a cart that you keep them in? I mean, I imagine you have to keep them somewhat close at hand so you can use them as a battering ram to butt into situations you are not even remotely involved in at any given time.

Yes, please respond. Where do you keep your huge balls?