!

Maggie0829

VulgarGirl said:

Liatris2010 said:

I said I was sorry.   So did a few others.  Mods are not here 24/7. I know a few are on vacation.   So I'm not sure it's reasonable to expect them to respond quickly.      Some haven't even logged in to know there is even an issue.  

And yes I feel like a fucking ass for responding to 10 months worth of reported post for nothing.

I don't feel badly about reporters not being able to see my responses. 98% of them are "perceived rudeness is not a violation of the TOS" and the rest are "Thanks for flagging!" The reporters didn't miss much is not seeing those responses.

Except for those of us who are reporting actual things (not like spammers) that we think might be TOS violations but then we never get told if they are or aren't. 

Since clearly KR and KH aren't going to clarify what is vulgar/obscene/ect we need to be able to see if a post we've flagged as such actually is/isn't. And if we reflag because we never get told otherwise, then we get a talking to about not abusing the report button....when we were just trying to get answers. 

But the mods, up until now, thought that those reporting posts were seeing their responses. They now know better and will change how they respond to you in the future.  They can't change the past, all they can do is change how they move forward which is what they are doing.  How is that not acceptable?

Liatris2010

VulgarGirl said:

Liatris2010 said:

lyndausvi said:

I said I was sorry.   So did a few others.  Mods are not here 24/7. I know a few are on vacation.   So I'm not sure it's reasonable to expect them to respond quickly.      Some haven't even logged in to know there is even an issue.  

And yes I feel like a fucking ass for responding to 10 months worth of reported post for nothing.

I don't feel badly about reporters not being able to see my responses. 98% of them are "perceived rudeness is not a violation of the TOS" and the rest are "Thanks for flagging!" The reporters didn't miss much is not seeing those responses.

Except for those of us who are reporting actual things (not like spammers) that we think might be TOS violations but then we never get told if they are or aren't. 

Since clearly KR and KH aren't going to clarify what is vulgar/obscene/ect we need to be able to see if a post we've flagged as such actually is/isn't. And if we reflag because we never get told otherwise, then we get a talking to about not abusing the report button....when we were just trying to get answers. 

The report button is not for you to guess and check what may or may not be vulgar according to TK. However, you could always go back to the post a few days later and see if it was removed.

southernbelle0915

VulgarGirl said:

Maggie0829 said:

VulgarGirl said:

Maggie0829 said:

VulgarGirl said:

Maggie0829 said:

VulgarGirl said:

Maggie0829 said:

I don't really understand why the mods have to apologize.  They were under the impression that they were doing the right thing when responding to reported posts.  They were TOLD by the admins that that is the way to do it.  Just because it didn't work the way they were told doesn't mean that they need to apologize for something out of their control.  But like ShesSoCold said, it is a good thing to find this out because now they know how to properly contact those who reported a post.

I think people need to lay off the mods a bit though.  They are working with what many have deemed a vague TOS and can only provide posters with the information that they are given.  So if the information that they are given doesn't really answer your question or isn't deemed good enough then what do you want from them?

But in regards to the discussion in this thread the mods didn't do anything wrong.  They did exactly as they were told without any idea that what they were doing wasn't working.  So if you are pissed then blame the admins or TK tech.  And just because the mods may defend TKGs or parts of the TOS in some instances doesn't mean that they are brown nosers.  It just means that they aren't agreeing with every single complaint there is.

I was made to feel like a dumbass for not reading a thread about my report. A thread I can't see. I shouldn't be made to feel stupid for not being able to do something.

Now apparently the powers that be can't figure out how to explain shit (no surprise there), and that's not the fault of the mod's at all. 

However the mod's reation of "Oh super bummer you can't actually see that" didn't acknowledge that I was made to feel like a piece of shit over not reading something I can't see. That's why I asked for an apology. Which @PhotoKitty gave me, so thank you to her for that. 

If someone makes me feel like shit, I have every right to ask for them to apologize. @ShesSoCold's post read to me as "Well sure you feel like shit, but hey we learned something new! So it's all good!" which is fucked up and wrong. Even when you wanna be all "ok lets fix the problem" you still say sorry. 

Had I actually been able to see the thread I would've said "Ok sorry PhotoKitty is right we can see the threads here's how you find it guys". I would've apologized. 

Sure you can ask for an apology, but you don't have to be given one, especially when the mods were under the impression that posters can see the responses they provide on reported posts.  If someone feels like they didn't do anything wrong they don't owe you or anyone else an apology. They were doing what they were told to do.  They were told that when they respond to reported posts the person who reported it should see it.  I am not sure how telling you that "you can see my response on your reported post" turns into them making you look like a dumbass.  How were they supposed to know that you couldn't see it?  Finding out that it wasn't working doesn't automatically warrant an apology.  And at this point I think taking what ShesSoCold said personally is ridiculous.  Also you are only taking half of what she said.  Yeah, it is a bummer that you couldn't see it, but she said that with knowing that information the mods will now change how they respond to reported posts.  Problem solved.  Mods now know that posters can't see their responses and will now PM those who reported a post.  Again, I see no need for an apology when the person involved had no idea that what they were telling you was wrong. And you only felt like you were made to be a dumbass because that is how you chose to interpret her post.  From how I read it, it seemed like a mod trying to explain how the responses to reported posts work and she was trying to direct you to the post that she was talking about.  If you decided to take it personally then that is on you because no where was she degrading or talking down to you.

I can't respond to this without getting a warning. I honestly can't. Because what I want to say to you right now will get me banned. And I'm not being dramatic here. I want to say things I know are against TOS. I want to use GIFs I know are against TOS.

Fine Maggie. You're right. You are always right. I shouldn't get my feelings hurt. Hell I should just not have feelings or emotions at all. And I sure as shit shouldn't use them.

I don't understand your obsessive need to come along and tell people they are feeling their feelings the wrong way. Or reacting incorrectly. Do you just need to feel better than and superior to everyone all the fucking time? 

So I am not allowed my opinion?  Oh okay.

And you are calling me out for feeling the need to be superior to others?  That is kind of laughable.

Edited:  Because I accidentally responded to another quote before finishing my thought on another.  I don't want another response taken wrong because I wasn't fully finished writing it and getting my thoughts in order.

Why do you get opinions but I can't have my fucking feelings? 

Yeah, you do act like superior to others. You don't ever need to vent or whine or cause a fuss or get upset about things that don't really matter. Because you're better than those of us who do.

No, because I know that venting and getting pissy over a wedding forum is kind of silly.  If something upset me that much on here I would be logging out for good.  That doesn't make me think I am better then some of you, as you believe I think.  It is just me not wanting to waste my time on something that is insignificant.  But hey, if you want to bitch and moan then go right ahead, but know that just as you are allowed to bitch and moan, I am allowed to tell you I think it is silly.

And I'm allowed to tell you I think coming along and constantly telling people it's silly to get upset is acting like you're superior.

Sometimes I get upset over dumb shit. Good for you for not doing so. But just because I do, doesn't make me or my feelings any less than. 

Objectively, we tell people that it's silly to get upset about stuff all. the. time. It's not that unusual for this forum. 

VulgarGirl

hellosweetie1015

Maggie0829 said:

I don't really understand why the mods have to apologize.  They were under the impression that they were doing the right thing when responding to reported posts.  They were TOLD by the admins that that is the way to do it.  Just because it didn't work the way they were told doesn't mean that they need to apologize for something out of their control.  But like ShesSoCold said, it is a good thing to find this out because now they know how to properly contact those who reported a post.

I think people need to lay off the mods a bit though.  They are working with what many have deemed a vague TOS and can only provide posters with the information that they are given.  So if the information that they are given doesn't really answer your question or isn't deemed good enough then what do you want from them?

But in regards to the discussion in this thread the mods didn't do anything wrong.  They did exactly as they were told without any idea that what they were doing wasn't working.  So if you are pissed then blame the admins or TK tech.  And just because the mods may defend TKGs or parts of the TOS in some instances doesn't mean that they are brown nosers.  It just means that they aren't agreeing with every single complaint there is.

I'm gonna go ahead and assume there's no box to be had here.

The mods don't have to apologize for not knowing. They don't have the capability to see what a regular "peon" poster sees anymore, so they have to go off what Admin tells them, which is (supposedly) based on what Tech tells them (but that's assuming Tech is not a bunch of drunk monkeys, which... is assuming a whole lot). 

HOWEVER. 

Those mods who made it out like Magic should have known something, should be checking something, and was fully 100% in the wrong for not checking something, and then, when it's discovered that she's not actually able to see this thing she should be checking, acting like she should be happy her public shaming (for lack of a better term) led to better understanding for the mods? Yeah, those peeps ought to apologize. (WHICH I DO SEE YOU HAVE!)

And, no. I don't think people need to lay off of the mods. Do I think the mods have any control over this shipwreck? No. BUT they still seem to be blindly following Admin all of a sudden, which is unlike them, in my experience and for the most part. And yeah, that's not a choice I'd make, and I'm disappointed that some of the mods are making that choice. And frankly, the number of times the mods have been left to pick up the huge, stinking, still-warm cow patties left by Admin, I'm surprised they haven't staged a coup yet themselves. The mods are human beings with brains that can think. They are not Tech's monkeys, and they don't have to please the Admins to put food on their tables - we all know they don't get paid. I personally don't see why, if so many regular posters are up in arms about something, they cannot investigate for themselves and come to a conclusion on their own, and make a decision on their own about its fairness and rationality and about whether or not they actually want to be a part of it any more. They aren't seeming to do that. They're just repeating the party line Admin is so clearly sticking to - everything's fine, crystal clear, no problems, business as usual. That is not the case, in any instance. I rather liked most of the mods before this issue. I thought they did a fantastic job. But recently, it's become very "mods against regs" and.... that's ugly. It's awful, and that mindset is going to cannibalize a place I very much enjoyed until recently.

It is not about warnings, or bannings, or Ashley, or anything that was DONE. It's about what's changed in the culture here. It is about respect, which these boards had a lot of for a long time. Regs respected mods. Mods respected regs. For the most part, even the threads that everyone knew were going to go to shit got respectful answers at first, until the snowflakes got all butthurt. Even when posters didn't agree, it was generally a fairly respectful discussion, with a few exceptions. 

That is not the vibe I'm getting here anymore.

And - to those mods who are saying they don't see the big problem and don't feel bad about their responses not going to the reporters: If I'm angry / upset / frightened / whatever enough to report a post, I want to know that report is being handled. So yes - to some of us regs being able to know something is being handled is reassuring. Of course, it doesn't much feel like TK is a place where the regs are wanted anymore, so ... yeah.

FiancB

KatieinBkln said:

Maggie0829 said:

I don't really understand why the mods have to apologize.  They were under the impression that they were doing the right thing when responding to reported posts.  They were TOLD by the admins that that is the way to do it.  Just because it didn't work the way they were told doesn't mean that they need to apologize for something out of their control.  But like ShesSoCold said, it is a good thing to find this out because now they know how to properly contact those who reported a post.

I think people need to lay off the mods a bit though.  They are working with what many have deemed a vague TOS and can only provide posters with the information that they are given.  So if the information that they are given doesn't really answer your question or isn't deemed good enough then what do you want from them?

But in regards to the discussion in this thread the mods didn't do anything wrong.  They did exactly as they were told without any idea that what they were doing wasn't working.  So if you are pissed then blame the admins or TK tech.  And just because the mods may defend TKGs or parts of the TOS in some instances doesn't mean that they are brown nosers.  It just means that they aren't agreeing with every single complaint there is.

Well, speaking for myself, what I would like from them is to hear a little bit of "I'm mad about this too. We were misinformed, which made us believe you were acting badly, when actually you were in the dark." 

If I were a mod and found that out, I would be PISSED. I don't think the mods here are monsters. Nobody in good faith wants to go around accusing people of fucking up or trolling or acting like a jerk when they really aren't. So to find out that I'd been asked to punish and warn people for no good reason? I'd be mad as hell. And I'd say so, publicly, so that my fellow community members realized that I can empathize with them. That I'm not, in fact, a brown-nosing blind loyalist to a company that hasn't done anything to earn that loyalty. That I'm willing to see myself as a community member first, and a volunteer for TK second.

I just haven't seen very much of that. Maybe it'll change now that it's clear that the TGs are either misinformed or filthy liars (my personal jury is still out). I hope that it does.

Pretty much this. Speaking for myself, the thing that is causing me to become increasingly irate with the mods is a sudden change of behavior. Not long ago I did feel like you all were participating in the community with us, having fun with us, not overstepping, were helpful, etc and similarly would complain about the various things like the glitches that the rest of us do.

 Then this shit went down and all of a sudden, any complaint is a personal offense, all the mods sound the same, and everybody's rushing to love on all of admin's posts, and no one could possibly understand how hard it is to be a mod/admin or how anything works and we're a bunch of liars if we claim we were given a warning or can't see a post or whatever. It's bizarre and a definite sudden shift to an us vs them mentality. 

That's the perception to us little people, I guess, if anyone is interested.  But I'm still willing to keep an open mind and change it. I do appreciate the clarifications and such in this thread. 

Liatris2010

I have been posting on this site for 4 years. In that time people have never been able to see what was done about reported posts, so that part of the culture of the boards has not changed.

hellosweetie1015

Liatris2010 said: I have been posting on this site for 4 years. In that time people have never been able to see what was done about reported posts, so that part of the culture of the boards has not changed. And of course I thought I'd have a box. What a waste of a thought.

Being able to see what's done about reported posts isn't a part of the culture of this site. It's a part of the functionality.

And while that ability (or apparent lack thereof) hasn't affected me one way or the other specifically either, because I'm not a reporting type of person. But it's good to have, and reassuring. So ... yeah, maybe it's important to someone, and your (general you) acting like it's an unimportant failing... well, frankly, it's indicative of the New Knot Culture where mods act like Admin fuckups are no big deal, move along little knottie.

emmaaa

For anyone who thinks the mods are no longer participating and being a part of the community, have you stopped to consider why that may be? After Ashley's banning, this place blew up for a couple of days and suddenly it became the mods fault that a lot of this was happening.

Every time one of us tried to explain something, we were met with hostility and basically told our answers weren't helpful. When it came down to it, we did not ban that user, an admin did. We can't speak on their behalf other than the fact it was obvious knowledge that she went out in a blaze of glory with a bunch of "fuck you" gifs.

I can see how many people thought the mods were ganging up on them because some users decided to post harmless polar bear gifs. Well, that has not happened since even though the posts were not out of malice. 

I get that it seems we're siding with the admins because we agree with them on certain topics. The main reason behind that is the fact that we see behind it all a little bit. We see the posts that got reported and if a warning was issued. We knew when warnings weren't issued. There were a lot of people throwing around the issue of the TOS being changed, when it wasn't. There were some saying "I'm posting this and I'll probably get a warning" and in some cases, they did not. And since we see that, it's easy for some of us to draw our own conclusions from the situation. 

It's funny that so many of you who are saying we are blindly following the admin are doing the same thing with others users. It happens. People generally "pick sides" or form an opinion when issues occur.

We understand it is frustrating that the TOS is vague. but it has ALWAYS been vague. Warnings and eventual bannings have always dealt with reading the context of a reply before issuing or not issuing a warning. And as many of us have said in this thread, we have a new way to handle reports and responding to the reporter from now on.

I am speaking only for myself, and not all of the mods, when I say this, but I felt very unwelcome on the boards (but continued to participate anyways) after the fiasco because of the backlash towards the mods. I felt unwelcome because I followed the TH link and saw someone say that I have a stick up my ass, which I have to shake off because apparently I come across that way. I felt unwelcome. I did. And assuming I may not be the only one who feels that way, that may be why it seems we haven't been participating in the community and kind of backing each other.

beachyone15

emmaaa said:

For anyone who thinks the mods are no longer participating and being a part of the community, have you stopped to consider why that may be? After Ashley's banning, this place blew up for a couple of days and suddenly it became the mods fault that a lot of this was happening.

Every time one of us tried to explain something, we were met with hostility and basically told our answers weren't helpful. When it came down to it, we did not ban that user, an admin did. We can't speak on their behalf other than the fact it was obvious knowledge that she went out in a blaze of glory with a bunch of "fuck you" gifs.

I can see how many people thought the mods were ganging up on them because some users decided to post harmless polar bear gifs. Well, that has not happened since even though the posts were not out of malice. 

I get that it seems we're siding with the admins because we agree with them on certain topics. The main reason behind that is the fact that we see behind it all a little bit. We see the posts that got reported and if a warning was issued. We knew when warnings weren't issued. There were a lot of people throwing around the issue of the TOS being changed, when it wasn't. There were some saying "I'm posting this and I'll probably get a warning" and in some cases, they did not. And since we see that, it's easy for some of us to draw our own conclusions from the situation. 

It's funny that so many of you who are saying we are blindly following the admin are doing the same thing with others users. It happens. People generally "pick sides" or form an opinion when issues occur.

We understand it is frustrating that the TOS is vague. but it has ALWAYS been vague. Warnings and eventual bannings have always dealt with reading the context of a reply before issuing or not issuing a warning. And as many of us have said in this thread, we have a new way to handle reports and responding to the reporter from now on.

I am speaking only for myself, and not all of the mods, when I say this, but I felt very unwelcome on the boards (but continued to participate anyways) after the fiasco because of the backlash towards the mods. I felt unwelcome because I followed the TH link and saw someone say that I have a stick up my ass, which I have to shake off because apparently I come across that way. I felt unwelcome. I did. And assuming I may not be the only one who feels that way, that may be why it seems we haven't been participating in the community and kind of backing each other.

Going off topic here but I just have to say that I saw that link and it was pretty ugly. I thought I might be one of those people who follows both TK and TH but after seeing that I changed my mind.

perdonami

I love lurking on these forums because of all the drama. First you were all turning on "snowflakes" and now you're turning on each other.

My god knotties, calm down. Its a freaking wedding forum! We should be more lighthearted and help future brides not make horrible decisions regarding their weddings. 

Now we scared one away that will most likely include wedding attire suggestions on her invitations. Which btw is completely off-topic but I just received an e-mail to a wedding I am attending at the end of the month that told me I needed to wear "spring/nature attire" and then proceeded to define what "spring/nature attire" was. I was already wearing what they asked for (though I need to buy shoes now), but it definitely rubbed me the wrong way. They also included registry information with their invitation which lead you to a website that had a link where you could donate to their wedding and a few registry items. 

Definitely rubbed me the wrong way. I am hoping that is about the worst of it. 

PrettyGirlLost

perdonami said:

I love lurking on these forums because of all the drama. First you were all turning on "snowflakes" and now you're turning on each other.

My god knotties, calm down. Its a freaking wedding forum! We should be more lighthearted and help future brides not make horrible decisions regarding their weddings. 

Now we scared one away that will most likely include wedding attire suggestions on her invitations. Which btw is completely off-topic but I just received an e-mail to a wedding I am attending at the end of the month that told me I needed to wear "spring/nature attire" and then proceeded to define what "spring/nature attire" was. I was already wearing what they asked for (though I need to buy shoes now), but it definitely rubbed me the wrong way. They also included registry information with their invitation which lead you to a website that had a link where you could donate to their wedding and a few registry items. 

Definitely rubbed me the wrong way. I am hoping that is about the worst of it. 

Um, that's exactly what we attempt to do, minus vapidly validating shitty ideas.

YogaSandy

If I was going to a wedding and wanted to wear pearls (always do) or a bow tie, I would already feel welcome to do so. I don't need to be to that I can. Saying /printing it makes it sound like you are telling people to do it, even if that is not what you mean.

ETA. This is what happens when you post before reading the whole thread and it takes a very sharp turn.

levioosa

perdonami said:

I love lurking on these forums because of all the drama. First you were all turning on "snowflakes" and now you're turning on each other.

My god knotties, calm down. Its a freaking wedding forum! We should be more lighthearted and help future brides not make horrible decisions regarding their weddings. 

Now we scared one away that will most likely include wedding attire suggestions on her invitations. Which btw is completely off-topic but I just received an e-mail to a wedding I am attending at the end of the month that told me I needed to wear "spring/nature attire" and then proceeded to define what "spring/nature attire" was. I was already wearing what they asked for (though I need to buy shoes now), but it definitely rubbed me the wrong way. They also included registry information with their invitation which lead you to a website that had a link where you could donate to their wedding and a few registry items. 

Definitely rubbed me the wrong way. I am hoping that is about the worst of it. 

You have no idea what you're talking about, so you should stop pretending like you do.  Oh, and we're going to call out a shitty idea.  OP had a shitty idea, so she got called out on it.  

FiancB

YogaSandy said:

If I was going to a wedding and wanted to wear pearls (always do) or a bow tie, I would already feel welcome to do so. I don't need to be to that I can. Saying /printing it makes it sound like you are telling people to do it, even if that is not what you mean. ETA. This is what happens when you post before reading the whole thread and it takes a very sharp turn.

I started reading this like 

And then oh right yeah this was originally an etiquette question lol. 

poodledoodleooo

Knottie99405480 said:

Hi! So I have a 20's/Gatsby/Prohibition Era inspired wedding coming up in September. My fiance and I are very excited and have selected attire for ourselves which is deco inspired but not a complete copy seeing as we didn't want to feel like we were in costume. My mother and father are also dressing for the occasion. 

Our invitations are printed on art deco style stationary and our wedding website says "vintage inspired attire is welcome and encouraged!". But we know not everyone will check our website and it doesn't specifically say anything on our invitation that it is 20's themed. We were planning on adding an insert with some simple directions to our venue since most of our guests are from out of state. I thought maybe on the bottom or back we could put a clever ditty about the fact we have a live jazz band playing and wearing something appropriate for dancing and deco. I think it'd be a fun opportunity for our guests to don some bowties and pearls if they wish. But I'm not sure how to word it without sounding like you should come in full costume or without sounding pushy. I want people to wear whatever makes them feel most comfortable and most importantly I want everyone to have fun! But I also think it would be awkward if my fiance and my parents were the ONLY ones that got the deco dress inspired memo. Any Ideas?

---BOXES----

You want to know what's really awkward? Turning your wedding into a costume party.

perdonami

PrettyGirlLost said:

perdonami said:

I love lurking on these forums because of all the drama. First you were all turning on "snowflakes" and now you're turning on each other.

My god knotties, calm down. Its a freaking wedding forum! We should be more lighthearted and help future brides not make horrible decisions regarding their weddings. 

Now we scared one away that will most likely include wedding attire suggestions on her invitations. Which btw is completely off-topic but I just received an e-mail to a wedding I am attending at the end of the month that told me I needed to wear "spring/nature attire" and then proceeded to define what "spring/nature attire" was. I was already wearing what they asked for (though I need to buy shoes now), but it definitely rubbed me the wrong way. They also included registry information with their invitation which lead you to a website that had a link where you could donate to their wedding and a few registry items. 

Definitely rubbed me the wrong way. I am hoping that is about the worst of it. 

Um, that's exactly what we attempt to do, minus vapidly validating shitty ideas.

Thanks for reiterating my point. I always agreed with a lot of the points you have made in various threads. 

perdonami

YogaSandy said:

If I was going to a wedding and wanted to wear pearls (always do) or a bow tie, I would already feel welcome to do so. I don't need to be to that I can. Saying /printing it makes it sound like you are telling people to do it, even if that is not what you mean. ETA. This is what happens when you post before reading the whole thread and it takes a very sharp turn.

Oh not sure, if this was directed at me or not but I did read this entire thread and the other thread referenced in which I found Ashley was banned.

I also felt bad about the way members were reacting to the mods. Unpaid moderators of a board that is poorly ran by admins. 

Anyway that's what I meant by turning on each other and if this was not directed at me my apologies. 

perdonami

FiancB said:

YogaSandy said:

If I was going to a wedding and wanted to wear pearls (always do) or a bow tie, I would already feel welcome to do so. I don't need to be to that I can. Saying /printing it makes it sound like you are telling people to do it, even if that is not what you mean. ETA. This is what happens when you post before reading the whole thread and it takes a very sharp turn.

I started reading this like 

And then oh right yeah this was originally an etiquette question lol. 

::Boxes::

See I started on page one and watched a complete derailment from the original etiquette question into this drama mess. I've seen this happen before on this forum and just wanted to point out we should continue to focus on why were here.

Its a wedding forum that really should be lighthearted. When a mod disclosed that they felt no longer welcome here, I felt bad. Why? We are here to help future brides not make bad decisions. I don't know what I would have done without all of you guys. 

YogaSandy

perdonami said:

YogaSandy said:

If I was going to a wedding and wanted to wear pearls (always do) or a bow tie, I would already feel welcome to do so. I don't need to be to that I can. Saying /printing it makes it sound like you are telling people to do it, even if that is not what you mean.

ETA. This is what happens when you post before reading the whole thread and it takes a very sharp turn.

Oh not sure, if this was directed at me or not but I did read this entire thread and the other thread referenced in which I found Ashley was banned.

I also felt bad about the way members were reacting to the mods. Unpaid moderators of a board that is poorly ran by admins. 

Anyway that's what I meant by turning on each other and if this was not directed at me my apologies. 

If you mean what I meant by sharp turn- I just mean the thread changed completely from the original question. Had I continued reading, I would have known my response was now out of place. Nothing to do with even the content it changed to (I don't post very often) just meant my comment no longer fit in the conversation. That's all.

ETA not directed at anyone

PrettyGirlLost

perdonami said:

FiancB said:

YogaSandy said:

If I was going to a wedding and wanted to wear pearls (always do) or a bow tie, I would already feel welcome to do so. I don't need to be to that I can. Saying /printing it makes it sound like you are telling people to do it, even if that is not what you mean.

ETA. This is what happens when you post before reading the whole thread and it takes a very sharp turn.

I started reading this like 

And then oh right yeah this was originally an etiquette question lol. 

::Boxes::

See I started on page one and watched a complete derailment from the original etiquette question into this drama mess. I've seen this happen before on this forum and just wanted to point out we should continue to focus on why were here.

Its a wedding forum that really should be lighthearted. When a mod disclosed that they felt no longer welcome here, I felt bad. Why? We are here to help future brides not make bad decisions. I don't know what I would have done without all of you guys. 

It was my understanding emmaaa didn't feel welcomed over on TH, not necessarily here. But I could be wrong.

thisismynickname2

PrettyGirlLost said:

FiancB said:

YogaSandy said:

If I was going to a wedding and wanted to wear pearls (always do) or a bow tie, I would already feel welcome to do so. I don't need to be to that I can. Saying /printing it makes it sound like you are telling people to do it, even if that is not what you mean. ETA. This is what happens when you post before reading the whole thread and it takes a very sharp turn.

I started reading this like 

And then oh right yeah this was originally an etiquette question lol. 

::Boxes::

See I started on page one and watched a complete derailment from the original etiquette question into this drama mess. I've seen this happen before on this forum and just wanted to point out we should continue to focus on why were here.

Its a wedding forum that really should be lighthearted. When a mod disclosed that they felt no longer welcome here, I felt bad. Why? We are here to help future brides not make bad decisions. I don't know what I would have done without all of you guys. 

It was my understanding emmaaa didn't feel welcomed over on TH, not necessarily here. But I could be wrong.

I saw one other mod say she didn't feel welcome here; it was last week some time on chit-chat. I'm hoping her lack of participation now means she's on her honeymoon. There are only two other regs that have noticeably, to me anyway, stopped participating since the end of May. Hopefully things will pick back up to normal soon enough and we'll meet more new people too. 

huskypuppy14

thisismynickname said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

FiancB said:

YogaSandy said:

If I was going to a wedding and wanted to wear pearls (always do) or a bow tie, I would already feel welcome to do so. I don't need to be to that I can. Saying /printing it makes it sound like you are telling people to do it, even if that is not what you mean. ETA. This is what happens when you post before reading the whole thread and it takes a very sharp turn.

I started reading this like 

And then oh right yeah this was originally an etiquette question lol. 

::Boxes::

See I started on page one and watched a complete derailment from the original etiquette question into this drama mess. I've seen this happen before on this forum and just wanted to point out we should continue to focus on why were here.

Its a wedding forum that really should be lighthearted. When a mod disclosed that they felt no longer welcome here, I felt bad. Why? We are here to help future brides not make bad decisions. I don't know what I would have done without all of you guys. 

It was my understanding emmaaa didn't feel welcomed over on TH, not necessarily here. But I could be wrong.

I saw one other mod say she didn't feel welcome here; it was last week some time on chit-chat. I'm hoping her lack of participation now means she's on her honeymoon. There are only two other regs that have noticeably, to me anyway, stopped participating since the end of May. Hopefully things will pick back up to normal soon enough and we'll meet more new people too. 

Are you talking about JC? Because she isn't a mod, she's a reg.

thisismynickname2

huskypuppy14 said:

thisismynickname said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

FiancB said:

YogaSandy said:

If I was going to a wedding and wanted to wear pearls (always do) or a bow tie, I would already feel welcome to do so. I don't need to be to that I can. Saying /printing it makes it sound like you are telling people to do it, even if that is not what you mean. ETA. This is what happens when you post before reading the whole thread and it takes a very sharp turn.

I started reading this like 

And then oh right yeah this was originally an etiquette question lol. 

::Boxes::

See I started on page one and watched a complete derailment from the original etiquette question into this drama mess. I've seen this happen before on this forum and just wanted to point out we should continue to focus on why were here.

Its a wedding forum that really should be lighthearted. When a mod disclosed that they felt no longer welcome here, I felt bad. Why? We are here to help future brides not make bad decisions. I don't know what I would have done without all of you guys. 

It was my understanding emmaaa didn't feel welcomed over on TH, not necessarily here. But I could be wrong.

I saw one other mod say she didn't feel welcome here; it was last week some time on chit-chat. I'm hoping her lack of participation now means she's on her honeymoon. There are only two other regs that have noticeably, to me anyway, stopped participating since the end of May. Hopefully things will pick back up to normal soon enough and we'll meet more new people too. 

Are you talking about JC? Because she isn't a mod, she's a reg.

Oh. Yes. Maybe she said she didn't feel welcome by mods. I need my second cup of coffee. << shrugs >>

esstee33

***Removed for TOS violation***

Rachel2017

I think your best bet is to spread the word through family and friends. Personally I would love to know that "vintage/20's wear" was encouraged but I agree it would be rude to state it on the invites/inserts or website.

ETA: Ahhh posted that way too soon. Appears OP is long gone and more TOS discussions have happened...