Engagement.

TrixieJess

redoryx said:

Knottie1437592489 said:

Okay ladies, I'm not some cry baby bitch that is being insensitive to my FSIL's feelings. And thank you to the few people that actually gave me supportive and good advice. I even appreciate the advice that I didn't want to hear but needed to. But geez, some of you ladies are just being straight insensitive to my feelings as well. There are nicer ways to say things. And yes, maybe my story does sound one sided. It was. Obviously you all are not going to know the full story. However, she did decide to marry one of her college friends just so he could get citizenship. Were they in love? No. Did they get married for the right reasons? No. They didn't kiss at the court house, they didn't have a honeymoon, he split after the nice luncheon her mother paid for, and his parents awkwardly thanked her as they were leaving. No, I did NOT expect her to be over the moon and back about our engagement. All I fucking would have liked was a simple hi or congrats. I didn't think it was that hard? I didn't even realize like I said before that it would mean anything to me. It took one of my other family members a while to say congrats to me too. I didn't cry over that. I didn't even care! I would have been a lot more empathetic had I known she was going through it. When she got divorced, we all thought it was part of the plan that had previously been discussed when it was first arranged. His sister has claimed that she likes me, I know she's going through a rough time. I do respect that she needs time to grieve. But to mutter one word... I'm sorry. My bad, I guess. I didn't ask her to stare at my fucking ring or take a picture for memories. I'm not brown nosing her about all our plans and ideas. This trip isn't about us or me. I know that. I'm sorry his parents actually don't exactly side with her either. That his mom is actually crying over everything that is happening too. We all feel bad, we are here to support her as her family. Not bring the family dynamic down. We invite her to things, she says no. Fine. Fuck it. I was fucking hurt is all. I needed to vent. I wanted support. Good advice not rude comments, even if I am being a bit sensitive or insensitive to her. But fuck me for caring I guess.

If you need support, get a bra. That's not what we are here for. 

Here's some support, I think you'll need it in the upcoming months:

PS. This GIF doesn't get old for me (because I'm 12)

loveislouder

Knottie1437592489 said:

 We've done are  our best. 

Boxboxboxbox 

It was really bothering me.

ginnybinny17

Knottie1437592489 said:

But fuck me for caring I guess.

Do you seriously not see how bizarrely dramatic and over-the-top you're being about this?  Good Christ.

lyndausvi

Knottie1437592489 said:

My fiancé doesn't get emotional very often at all. And he has over this. 

 We've done are best. We're not ruining anyone's vacation.

Have none of you ever been disappointed before? Or expected a different outcome? 

Sure, but I do not burst (multible times mind you) into tears over a lack of acknowledgement of something (regardless of what that something is).  Especially from someone who is going through their own emotional stress at the time.

Maggie0829

lyndausvi said:

Knottie1437592489 said:

My fiancé doesn't get emotional very often at all. And he has over this. 

 We've done are best. We're not ruining anyone's vacation.

Have none of you ever been disappointed before? Or expected a different outcome? 

Sure, but I do not burst (multible times mind you) into tears over a lack of acknowledgement of something (regardless of what that something is).  Especially from someone who is going through their own emotional stress at the time.

This.  There is a big difference between being disappointed and bursting into tears over something.  Does it suck that she hasn't acknowledged your engagement?  Sure.  But to repeatedly cry over it is just down right crazy.

thespeshulestsnowflake

Someone needs a Mai Tai or some other fruity alcoholic drink. Get a drink and go down to the beach and get over it!

lyndausvi

Maggie0829 said:

lyndausvi said:

Knottie1437592489 said:

My fiancé doesn't get emotional very often at all. And he has over this. 

 We've done are best. We're not ruining anyone's vacation.

Have none of you ever been disappointed before? Or expected a different outcome? 

Sure, but I do not burst (multible times mind you) into tears over a lack of acknowledgement of something (regardless of what that something is).  Especially from someone who is going through their own emotional stress at the time.

This.  There is a big difference between being disappointed and bursting into tears over something.  Does it suck that she hasn't acknowledged your engagement?  Sure.  But to repeatedly cry over it is just down right crazy.

Can we add POSTING ON THE FUCKING KNOT WHILE ON VACATION IN HAWAII to the crazy train?

Seriously, you are on fucking vacation, in Kauai no less.  I've been to Kauai a few times.  The knot is not what I would be doing in Hawaii.

 I get it, it's disappointing.  No one is saying you can't be disappointed, but how holy hell your reaction is over-the-top.    I seriously question how you handle real problems.

ShesSoCold

I need to know how OP handles actual disappointments. Like getting laid off, getting out-bid on your dream house, having a hard time conceiving, shit that actually means something. 

I also love how her wall of text still says, "ME ME MEE MEMEEEEEEEMEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

OliveOilsMom

 

dramamonkey said:

If you keep obsessing over your FSIL, you will ruin your own vacation.  Go give Kauai Backcountry Adventures a call and go on their tubing trip.  Or better yet, book a luau at Kilohana Plantation.  You are staying at a timeshare, it is a Wyndham brand?  They have discounted ticket pricing and a bus to take you to the luau and back!  Get your fill of the mai tais and all will be good in the world.  And don't forget to drink ALL the POG!

Ahhh yes @OliveOilsMom! Yes to all of this. I did these two things on my Kauai honeymoon. Two of my favorite things! Plus the shaved snow at Uncle's and the ice cream from Lapperts. Did you do the rum tasting before your luau at Kilohan?

@dramamonkey we did not.  We even had tickets for a free tasting, but we got there too late due to traffic through Kapaa.  We were really looking forward to it!  Just another reason to go back again!

climbingsingle

I have been disappointed many times. When I didn't get a job I applied for. When I had to cancel a trip because my assistant quit with no notice. When one of my closest friends couldn't attend my bach party. When my FIL couldn't come to our wedding because he was "sick". When the sound system stopped working during our wedding ceremony. When another friend no-showed at my wedding. When my fucking wedding cake collapsed and broke into a huge cakey mess on the dance floor. When my wedding dress ripped. 

I didn't cry over this. I had on my big girl panties and I moved the fuck on. 

MairePoppy

Your FMIL is crying too? WTF is going on with this family? I'd dial it down OP, in case there is something going on that you and fi don't know about. 

I have a suggestion. You should take FMIL out for one of those drinks they serve in a pineapple. Do they still make Zombies? Cause that's what you need. You keep ordering Zombies, cry it out until you are exhausted and drunk and go back to the condo and sleep it off. If you're still sad tomorrow, go to the bar and order another Zombie. Lather, rinse and repeat. I hope you get some beach time though.

DaniBites

TrixieJess

MairePoppy said:

Your FMIL is crying too? WTF is going on with this family? I'd dial it down OP, in case there is something going on that you and fi don't know about. 

I have a suggestion. You should take FMIL out for one of those drinks they serve in a pineapple. Do they still make Zombies? Cause that's what you need. You keep ordering Zombies, cry it out until you are exhausted and drunk and go back to the condo and sleep it off. If you're still sad tomorrow, go to the bar and order another Zombie. Lather, rinse and repeat. I hope you get some beach time though.

OMG! I love ZOMBIES! I'm totally making these this long weekend! I even have marachinos and little umbrellas...

MairePoppy

@TixieJess are you going to make them in pineapples? 

No one could be sad  while drinking one of these, right?

TrixieJess

MairePoppy said:

@TixieJess are you going to make them in pineapples? 

No one could be sad  while drinking one of these, right?

Why not? I could use the guts of the pineapple for pina coladas later in the day!

Heffalump

Shit, if I were in Hawaii right now, the only thing I'd be crying about is the thought of leaving.

thespeshulestsnowflake

Congrats on your engagement!!!

hellohkb

People did not fall over themselves congratulating me on my engagement and I didn't even think to hear from my future in-laws. But you know what? I didn't give a shit because I was SO happy and thrilled to be engaged to the love of my life.

You're in HAWAII. And newly engaged! You should be over the moon excited and not be worrying over such minor crap. 

beachyone15

Wow.

I honestly never thought about tallying who congratulated us and who didn't. That just seems odd to me.

Knottie1437592489

You're right, thank you. I thought it over, if she doesn't want our support as a family then fine so be it. I am over the moon about our engagement and I can't wait to spend my life with him. That's all that matters now.

ShesSoCold

Knottie1437592489 said:

You're right, thank you. I thought it over, if she doesn't want our support as a family then fine so be it. I am over the moon about our engagement and I can't wait to spend my life with him. That's all that matters now.

As long as she stops that sunbathing and enjoying vacation horse shit, you're good to go. 

KatWAG

Knottie1437592489 said:

You're right, thank you. I thought it over, if she doesn't want our support as a family then fine so be it. I am over the moon about our engagement and I can't wait to spend my life with him. That's all that matters now.

Seriously?

Maggie0829

Knottie1437592489 said:

You're right, thank you. I thought it over, if she doesn't want our support as a family then fine so be it. I am over the moon about our engagement and I can't wait to spend my life with him. That's all that matters now.

So since she hasn't congratulated you then you won't support her during her divorce?

Knottie1437592489

Not saying that. She doesn't really want to be around the family and she obviously needs time alone.

AlexisA01

Well...this thread is interesting. 

[Deleted User]

I am kind of a loner on vacations I LOVE time to relax.. my family can get under my skin at times without meaning to. Maybe she's just try to relax. Be honest.. doesn't it seem you may be a bit up tight to get that upset over someone so small? She probably knows or senses that and is staying CLEAR on her vacation.

randomslove

Why does her not saying "congratulations" on your personal, made-up timeline mean she's not supportive of your family? Maybe she is very supportive, but needs some time to herself.

There's this thing called dual perspective, wherein you should try not to jump to conclusions about other peoples' motivations. In fact, psychological studies say we often interpret people's motivations as more malicious than they actually are.

Again, I suggest trying to be supportive of her, since she is going through a tough life-change (even if her marriage was not motivated out of love, the divorce may still be a stressful event).

Knottie1437592489

Yeah, good for her. She needs that.

climbingsingle

Knottie1437592489 said:

Not saying that. She doesn't really want to be around the family and she obviously needs time alone.

Uh. Isn't she on vacation with all of you? 

Knottie1437592489

I never said she wasn't supportive. She needs to be alone. I respect that. I never expected her to be gun ho about it.