DH/FI/SO bitching

wandajune6

I know that we all love our significant others but sometimes they just seem to fuck everything up. Seriously pissed at DH right now for a few things and want to bitch to people who don't know him.

He's promised to quit smoking since we met. He's quit for months at a time then slip up. I'm understanding- we've had a crazy stressful few years. I just found out that he's been hiding the fact that he's been smoking a lot more than he claims: a pack a week instead of a cigarette a week. I can handle him smoking more. I don't like it but I'll forgive it. The sneaking around has me livid.

Also, he picks me up from the train station every day. The bus takes me about 80 minutes (it's always late and takes a very indirect route) and the drive from our house is 15-20 minutes. Long story short, I got left at the train station because he forgot to tell me that he couldn't get me- then didn't respond to any of my messages. He was on a phone interview (yea!) but he also told me about how the call kept dropping- yet he didn't respond to my texts/PMs wondering what happened to him while he was off the phone. I got home super-late because most bus routes stopped by the time I realized that he wasn't coming. When I finally got home, he was in a nasty mood from screwing up his interview and made things worse.

What has your SO done lately to piss you off?

lyndausvi

My  DH has been very good lately.  He even started the laundry, moved the clothes to the dryer, folded AND put away his clothes.  Normally is idea of "doing laundry" is throwing clothes in the washer.  Sometimes doesn't even turn it on

Although when we were in NYC he pissed me off.  We had a lot of early mornings last week.  Like 4-5am 3 days in a row. Then add in jet lag.  By Thursday I was exhausted.  

We went to dinner with some friends at an amazing restaurant then met up with some of DH's chef friends.  By midnight I was done and went back to the hotel and he stayed out.   He didn't get home until 2am.    That was not the problem, the problem was he woke me up to tell me.  Then it took me a good 45 minutes to fall asleep.  He however, passed out right away.  GRR.

at 4:32 am he starts hitting me.  Well, more like rolling over and his drunken arms just flopped on top of me.  Then he started this human sun dial thing.  Just moving his body around the bed. Legs and arms just flopping around on me.    Now I'm up and of course, have to pee.   Come back to the bed and he is full blow spread eagle on a diagonal on the bed.  On top of the covers to.   Nothing was waking him up.  I just started to cry.  All I wanted was sleep.   

I did get back to bed using the blanket in the closet.   Was up for good at 6:30am.   I decided to work, watch TV.    Eventually I went out, got donuts and coffee for him.    I got back at 10:42.  He kind-of looks at me with sleepy eyes and says "why are you up so early?"

Early?   It's fucking 10:42AM asshole.  

But really he was very good with my family last weekend in NYC.   Bought dinner for my brother and his family.  Took care of my mom whose health has gotten worse.  Overall he has been on his a-game. 

julieanne912

He whines about how he's stressed out about money, but then goes and spends over $200 on a new hockey jersey/sweater because "it's a brand new design and I had to have one".  

Also, he's being lazy lately, but getting on me for being lazy too.  That's annoying.

justsie

I don't have too much to complain about, he does this thing where he will simultaneously get better at something and get worse at it. For example, he's really been helping more around the house, he did most of the laundry last week and loaded the dishwasher once, but he has not done his only indoor house work of vacuuming in probably more than a week despite agreeing to do it twice a week AND left cooked ground beef in the sink for me to clean out this morning (seriously wtf?). So it's not like I get to easily say hey your duties are slacking pick em up because he will see it as he has been doing more around the house. 

lyndausvi I can picture the sun dial movements and I am dying of laughter over here. 

fyrchk

He gets $600 a month is just "spending money." That's to put gas in his car, buy his cigarettes, and whatever else he wants. I pay all of the bills (with our joint money after his $600), buy groceries, etc.

He is complaining because his friend came to visit last week and he spent his money taking his friend out. Wants me to give him more money. I tried to explain how much money he blows through with no idea what he's spent it on and he doesn't get it. He doesn't save any of it and expects me to give him more money when he's spent all of his. We are going to do a budget this weekend. Then he can see where the money goes and that I'm not just not wanting him to have more money.

luckya23

fyrchk said:

He gets $600 a month is just "spending money." That's to put gas in his car, buy his cigarettes, and whatever else he wants. I pay all of the bills (with our joint money after his $600), buy groceries, etc.

He is complaining because his friend came to visit last week and he spent his money taking his friend out. Wants me to give him more money. I tried to explain how much money he blows through with no idea what he's spent it on and he doesn't get it. He doesn't save any of it and expects me to give him more money when he's spent all of his. We are going to do a budget this weekend. Then he can see where the money goes and that I'm not just not wanting him to have more money.

Mostly I use a spreadsheet, but everydollar.com is a decent zero-based budgeting site.

jenna8984

Sometimes he talks to me in a condescending way about the dumbest things. The toilet keeps running and he told me hold the handle down until you hear it flush all the way. So I did. We're lying in bed later and he's like "I can hear it running, why didn't you hold it down like I told you". I'm like I fucking did. He's like "no clearly you didn't". Like he can't accept that it's still broken on it's own, no it had to be me "not listening".

sassercake12

He works long hours at the moment, so I'm doing most of the house work. I only ask him to take out the garbage and recycling because I hate it. It took him more than a week to take out a huge pile of recycling, and it was getting in the way in the kitchen. He asked me to crush the boxes and bag it up for him. I refused and made him do it. Then he complained.

I do his laundry, make him dinner, do the dishes, get the groceries and keep our apartment clean. JUST TAKE OUT THE RECYCLING. Good Lord, man. I can't wait until he's back to normal hours so this can end.

luckya23

jenna8984 said:

Sometimes he talks to me in a condescending way about the dumbest things. The toilet keeps running and he told me hold the handle down until you hear it flush all the way. So I did. We're lying in bed later and he's like "I can hear it running, why didn't you hold it down like I told you". I'm like I fucking did. He's like "no clearly you didn't". Like he can't accept that it's still broken on it's own, no it had to be me "not listening".

It doesn't matter how long you hold it if the flapper chain gets tangled up.  That's what was happening to mine. (This toilet was brand new and I *freaking hate it*)

ETA: Maybe he meant for you to wait until it's finished flushing, like has filled back up and turned off.  I used to ask that - in fact I had a note taped on the wall behind the toilet for my roomies and DH!

ohmrs2014

The only complaint I have is that since the dr put me on bed rest for the duration of my pregnancy, DH has to pick up the slack around the apartment, which he doesn't mind, but he's driving me crazy!  I can obviously do somethings, but if I need a break, I take it.

He has been in overdrive trying to get the nursery together (dr wants to induce me early), and while its adorable, I really want to go to our friends house on Saturday night just to see everyone (I don't see the harm in having a nice dinner with friends) and he's just like, "I have so much to do since baby girl is coming earlier."  Sweet, yet frustrating.

NowIAmSyp

H (wow, first time I wrote that!) likes to watch all these wilderness shows- Alaska shows, etc.- where people trap animals, hunt them, etc.  I get it- this happens, and it's often how people live.  But I don't necessarily need to see it on my TV every night. Then he gets mad at me for getting mad at him that I just had to watch a wolf/deer/caribou/bear/othercutefluffyanimal get shot.

Ugh.

emmaaa

DH is the world's worst at saying he will do something and never do it. And then it takes me nagging him about it for him to do it. And then we end up bickering because he gets frustrated that I nag him. LOL.

For example, I decided I wanted to get rid of our futon and DH agreed. Great! I asked him to help me take it apart. Well two weeks later it didn't get done so I took apart myself. DH says he will give it to one of the guys at work. Two weeks later, it's still sitting on our porch. I just want it gone! Give it away, throw it away, I don't care.

But I do have to give him credit. He has been helping me out more cleaning up and doing dishes everyday.

ThxSugar

FH travels a lot this time of year. He has more bags, backpacks, and gear than anyone I know. He got home this morning from a short 5 day trip, but I know I am going to walk into a living room filled with bags. He won't want to put them back in the closet b/c he leaves again on Monday. I actually feel bad for bitching b/c know how depleteing constant travel so I rarely say anything but I just finished cleaning from his packing the bags tornado.

lyndausvi

ThxSugar said:

FH travels a lot this time of year. He has more bags, backpacks, and gear than anyone I know. He got home this morning from a short 5 day trip, but I know I am going to walk into a living room filled with bags. He won't want to put them back in the closet b/c he leaves again on Monday. I actually feel bad for bitching b/c know how depleteing constant travel so I rarely say anything but I just finished cleaning from his packing the bags tornado.

DH does the same thing.  Drives me crazy.  We got home on Monday and about 30 minutes after stepping in the house I was unpacked and the bags put away.     If DH didn't leave again today his bag would sit  out until our next trip.  Which granted is only 2+ weeks away, but still.  I hate tripping over all the bags.

jenna8984

luckya23 said:

jenna8984 said:

Sometimes he talks to me in a condescending way about the dumbest things. The toilet keeps running and he told me hold the handle down until you hear it flush all the way. So I did. We're lying in bed later and he's like "I can hear it running, why didn't you hold it down like I told you". I'm like I fucking did. He's like "no clearly you didn't". Like he can't accept that it's still broken on it's own, no it had to be me "not listening".

It doesn't matter how long you hold it if the flapper chain gets tangled up.  That's what was happening to mine. (This toilet was brand new and I *freaking hate it*)

ETA: Maybe he meant for you to wait until it's finished flushing, like has filled back up and turned off.  I used to ask that - in fact I had a note taped on the wall behind the toilet for my roomies and DH!

Yea I don't know. He already said he knows the problem and it needs a repair kit and he can fix it (or whatever). So it's not my fault in the least, yet he accuses me all the time of "not listening" or not doing it the way he asked me to and I'm just like don't talk to me like I'm 5 years old. I did do what you asked.

julieanne912

lyndausvi said:

ThxSugar said:

FH travels a lot this time of year. He has more bags, backpacks, and gear than anyone I know. He got home this morning from a short 5 day trip, but I know I am going to walk into a living room filled with bags. He won't want to put them back in the closet b/c he leaves again on Monday. I actually feel bad for bitching b/c know how depleteing constant travel so I rarely say anything but I just finished cleaning from his packing the bags tornado.

DH does the same thing.  Drives me crazy.  We got home on Monday and about 30 minutes after stepping in the house I was unpacked and the bags put away.     If DH didn't leave again today his bag would sit  out until our next trip.  Which granted is only 2+ weeks away, but still.  I hate tripping over all the bags.

Heh this is me... I'm TERRIBLE about putting away after a trip.  

thisismynickname2

DH makes these sweeping generalizations about me (in a critical way) when truly, I fully believe I'm behaving in a logical manner. We just got back from vacation, and I really wanted to take a cab home (which is not like me, I'm rather cheap). But there were no cabs, so I said let's just get on the bus that's pulling up. He's like "You're always changing your mind!!" But I said, "Clearly we've been standing here 10 minutes and there are no cabs, so I'm not passing up the opportunity to take a bus!"

Another example from the trip is that we asked an airport worker where the TSA Pre-Check line was. She pointed up the stairs and to the left. We got up the stairs, and a sign on a stand said to go right. So I said we should go right. He says the lady said go left. I said, maybe it's usually to the left and today it's to the right, they put this random sign right here for a reason. So he gets on my case for "always doing the exact opposite of what I'm supposed to do." WTF? Ugh. 

thefanciestbeckler

I don't have anything too extreme at the moment. The worst thing for now is that I am ready for DH to get a job. He has been in school full time getting his pilot license since February. He should have been finished in August, but the FAA has been dragging some things out for him and his classmates and it is taking way longer than it should have. Which is all fine and dandy, but again, my husband has no job. I am fine with it, but he is about to go crazy! He loves to work and said he feels like a "big moocher" because he isn't bringing any income in at the moment.

arrippa

lyndausvi said:

ThxSugar said:

FH travels a lot this time of year. He has more bags, backpacks, and gear than anyone I know. He got home this morning from a short 5 day trip, but I know I am going to walk into a living room filled with bags. He won't want to put them back in the closet b/c he leaves again on Monday. I actually feel bad for bitching b/c know how depleteing constant travel so I rarely say anything but I just finished cleaning from his packing the bags tornado.

DH does the same thing.  Drives me crazy.  We got home on Monday and about 30 minutes after stepping in the house I was unpacked and the bags put away.     If DH didn't leave again today his bag would sit  out until our next trip.  Which granted is only 2+ weeks away, but still.  I hate tripping over all the bags.

I got home from DC on Sunday and my suitcase is still on the living room floor. I did, however, take out my clothes to wash. I blame my cat since he likes to lay on it and I feel bad taking away his new bed. Especially, since I had to board him while I was gone. I am not sure if he was forgiven me yet.

kvruns

jenna8984 said:

Sometimes he talks to me in a condescending way about the dumbest things. The toilet keeps running and he told me hold the handle down until you hear it flush all the way. So I did. We're lying in bed later and he's like "I can hear it running, why didn't you hold it down like I told you". I'm like I fucking did. He's like "no clearly you didn't". Like he can't accept that it's still broken on it's own, no it had to be me "not listening".

are you in my house? Because we had that problem with things not flushing right and he's like "hold the handle down longer" I'm like dude I know how to flush a toilet. I've never had one I have to hold down forever and you used to not have to do it with this one. Finally he's like yea something is wrong, tries to fix it twice, makes it worse, then yesterday decides to buy and install a brand new toilet. Whatever. We stood in the front yard, played the Office Space song and smashed the old one with an ax.

DarthV8r

This is a monologue of the cycle of insanity at my house

 F.I.: Hey babe, can you get me a shirt?

me:  No, get it yourself.

F.I.:  but I can't find one, I don't know where you put anything.

me: it's where the clean laundry goes!!!!

F.I.: I looked, I can't find one, I don't know where you put anything.

me: ::opens drawer, throws shirt at him.

F.I.: see I told you, you knew where  my shirt was. 

me: ::RAGE:: CLEAN CLOTHES GO IN THE DRAWER!! 

wandajune6

ibarfburlapandlace said:

This is a monologue of the cycle of insanity at my house

 F.I.: Hey babe, can you get me a shirt?

me:  No, get it yourself.

F.I.:  but I can't find one, I don't know where you put anything.

me: it's where the clean laundry goes!!!!

F.I.: I looked, I can't find one, I don't know where you put anything.

me: ::opens drawer, throws shirt at him.

F.I.: see I told you, you knew where  my shirt was. 

me: ::RAGE:: CLEAN CLOTHES GO IN THE DRAWER!! 

arrippa said:

lyndausvi said:

ThxSugar said:

FH travels a lot this time of year. He has more bags, backpacks, and gear than anyone I know. He got home this morning from a short 5 day trip, but I know I am going to walk into a living room filled with bags. He won't want to put them back in the closet b/c he leaves again on Monday. I actually feel bad for bitching b/c know how depleteing constant travel so I rarely say anything but I just finished cleaning from his packing the bags tornado.

DH does the same thing.  Drives me crazy.  We got home on Monday and about 30 minutes after stepping in the house I was unpacked and the bags put away.     If DH didn't leave again today his bag would sit  out until our next trip.  Which granted is only 2+ weeks away, but still.  I hate tripping over all the bags.

I got home from DC on Sunday and my suitcase is still on the living room floor. I did, however, take out my clothes to wash. I blame my cat since he likes to lay on it and I feel bad taking away his new bed. Especially, since I had to board him while I was gone. I am not sure if he was forgiven me yet.

This all sounds familiar. In my house:

him: "Can you get me a shirt?"
me: "Why can't you get it yourself?"
him: "You've got too much shit in the way. I can't get to the closet."
me: "Please, tell me: what shit is blocking you from getting your own damn shirt?"
him: "My suitcase."
me: "And how long has it been there?"
him: "I dunno.... a month?"

And he kicks his suitcase aside to grab his shirt. Grrrrr

lyndausvi

For the record, I do not except my husband to empty and put away the suitcase in 30 minutes like I do.  I have a grace period on how long before I get annoyed.  Normally it's a few days before I start internally getting annoyed.  By 7 days I'm verbally expressing my displeasure.

lightningsnow

I've gotten frustrated as of late with BF. Back in August we got a new kitten. It was his decision to get her. So since then I've gotten frustrated with the fact that I am now cleaning out three litter boxes, usually by myself. I would like for once for him to take the initiative to do it first without me asking. He tells me that I should remind him when I need help. Um... no, you wanted the kitten, you help clean up after her.

And then there's the dishes always piling up in the sink and the trash that starts overflowing. I don't mind doing it, I don't. But when I do it majority of the time, I want to snap.

I mean I understand that he works long, hard hours each day so the last thing he wants to do is clean a litter box or the dishes. But you can do it on your day off like I do.

ThxSugar

lyndausvi said:

For the record, I do not except my husband to empty and put away the suitcase in 30 minutes like I do.  I have a grace period on how long before I get annoyed.  Normally it's a few days before I start internally getting annoyed.  By 7 days I'm verbally expressing my displeasure.

Agreed and honestly, I am actually not much better except I can usually get the bags into the bedroom before they sit for a week. And I would rather have him home and the house a mess than a clean house without him around..... most of the time.

knottie2b256f5c2ae42586

Got a text from FI Monday night:

"I have $51 lol"

Not like we're trying to plan a wedding or anything. But the "lol" did make me chuckle...with rage.

hellohkb

@ibarfburlapandlace Are we with the same person? FH does this almost daily. It's so annoying. He moves things and assumes I have psychic powers and knows where he put things.

FH: Wheres my comb? Where's my *description of one random shirt I haven't seen in months*? Where's my checkbook?

I have no words.

DarthV8r

@hellohkb    LOL!!!  I get asked " where's my batman shirt?" on a weekly basis.

Too funny.

eta: He has like 5 and never describes  which one. 

levioosa

BF took a liter of soda from his 100 degree car and immediately put it in the refrigerator.  Overnight it exploded, leaked all over the fridge, and congealed all over the kitchen floor (in a truly impressive way, really).  He did his best to clean it up before I woke up, but our ideas of what is clean are two very different things.  I've been over the mess three times and my whole kitchen is still sticky.  Uhhhh.  

ETA: 

*congealed, not concealed, although right now the stickiness is very sneaky.  Every time I think I've got it all cleaned up, BAM, there's more.  

kvruns

levioosa said:

BF took a liter of soda from his 100 degree car and immediately put it in the refrigerator.  Overnight it exploded, leaked all over the fridge, and congealed all over the kitchen floor (in a truly impressive way, really).  He did his best to clean it up before I woke up, but our ideas of what is clean are two very different things.  I've been over the mess three times and my whole kitchen is still sticky.  Uhhhh.  

ETA: 

*congealed, not concealed, although right now the stickiness is very sneaky.  Every time I think I've got it all cleaned up, BAM, there's more.  

I didn't even know that could happen

ericasm0703

We just moved into a new house and he's dogging on getting things done because he's "too tired" when he gets home from work. I'm tired too when I get off from the firehouse, but I still manage to get something accomplished, even if it is just three boxes.