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Wedding Etiquette Forum
lovesclimbing
member
OT question about Catholic communion
I always see people say when asking about Catholic weddings that you can't take communion at the wedding (or in general at a regular service) if you are not in good standing.
How do they enforce this? What if I go up and ask for it anyway (either at a wedding or a at a regular service)? If they don't recognize me as one of their members in good standing (maybe I'm on vacation or I'm a wedding guest from another church) do they decline me?
It seems like a very strict thing in the Catholic church, yet I don't see how that could possibly be enforced.
I'm a Christian and go to a non-denominational Bible church that would probably fall closest in line with a somewhat conservative Baptist church. We include a note in the program on communion Sundays that says something along the lines of "we ask only that you be a member of the family of Christ to partake." But we don't and can't enforce that. We have servers who pass it to the people on the ends of the rows and it goes along like that, so no one takes it from a priest/pastor. I'm sure there's been plenty of people who've taken it to not look like an odd one out.
How do they enforce this? What if I go up and ask for it anyway (either at a wedding or a at a regular service)? If they don't recognize me as one of their members in good standing (maybe I'm on vacation or I'm a wedding guest from another church) do they decline me?
It seems like a very strict thing in the Catholic church, yet I don't see how that could possibly be enforced.
I'm a Christian and go to a non-denominational Bible church that would probably fall closest in line with a somewhat conservative Baptist church. We include a note in the program on communion Sundays that says something along the lines of "we ask only that you be a member of the family of Christ to partake." But we don't and can't enforce that. We have servers who pass it to the people on the ends of the rows and it goes along like that, so no one takes it from a priest/pastor. I'm sure there's been plenty of people who've taken it to not look like an odd one out.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: OT question about Catholic communion
Of course they aren't going to stop you, or ask for credentials, but it is a simple request of respect. I expect it to be very much the honour system.
But remember, the Catholic understanding of what is happening during the Eucharist is very different than Protestant denominations. It's not just bread and wine to them, they believe it's literally the body and blood of Christ so taking it without believing that is going up their in bad faith (pun intended).
The other time was only a few years ago, a lesbian was denied Communion during her mother's funeral service. I don't recall if she was told just before the service or in the moment, but the priests' reasons were because she was a married lesbian and not living a "Catholic Lifestyle". It was a sad situation and I felt terrible for the woman when I read the article. First her mother died and the funeral is to try and bring peace and understanding to the mourners about the passing. And then the priest at the service pushed her away and brought her more grief during a very difficult time.
And just like above, there are times when the priest won't call it out. My friends were married in a Protestant ceremony, but the H is Catholic. So that puts him out of good standing. When his mother died, he still went up and received Communion and even thought the priest knew the deal (they were hoping for a blessing by him at their wedding - but it doesn't work like that for Catholics) he was still presented with Communion during the service.
Also, an additional point regarding why other Christians cannot receive the Eucharist ... it's not a matter of wanting to exclude, it's a matter of honesty. With the exception of some Orthodox churches, Catholics are the only ones who believe in transubstantiation. That means that the bread and wine are transformed into the body and blood of Christ. Also, you are saying "Amen" to the entire Eucharistic prayers. One part of the prayer includes praying to be in communion with the Pope and local bishop.
I hope this helps!
For the record, I have never been in a Catholic church (wedding or otherwise) and if I ever am invited to a wedding or have a reason to attend a Catholic church, I certainly wouldn't essentially lie to receive communion.
@knottienumbers, no, I am not Catholic. I understand how Catholic communion, first communion, etc. works. And I certainly don't judge people in my own church who don't take communion.
@redoryx and @holyguacomole79, yes, it is different. I do not believe in transubstantiation.
It is interesting though that Catholic criteria and protestant criteria for taking communion is the same in that you shouldn't have unforgiven sin in your life when taking it. Many people take the time while communion is being served to sit quietly in their pew, pray and make sure they are right with God.
For the most part, receiving Communion is an act of honesty and faith. Years ago when I was a child, even if in a state of grace, you had to have abstained from eating from midnight until the time you attended Mass. Early morning masses were always packed, obviously. Clearly, that was also an issue of honesty. Thankfully, that requirement is down to an hour now.
the Archdiocese of Washington, D.C.
I'm not fucking kidding. That congregation is batshit crazy. They are not a good example of a Catholic Church.
No one is asked for a Catholic ID card in the communion line. Anyone distributing communion is instructed NOT to ask questions of any individual. The "teachable moment" is outside of the service.
I have attended several Catholic weddings and services. I would never receive communion knowing that it was against the teachings of the Catholic church. It is a matter of following their rules.
I was raised in a Lutheran church and communion was given to anyone who believed in God and Jesus Christ, his son. Though children under the age of about 12, were given a blessing. This was unstated during typical Sunday services. But during services, where there might be a lot of parishioners who didn't normally go to our church (ie Easter, Christmas), the pastor would announce anyone who believed (see above) was welcome to receive communion.
In Catholic services, I believe it is largely an honor thing. I mean, unless someone doesn't know they shouldn't receive communion, most people wouldn't go up anyway. For example, I wouldn't mind receiving communion in a Catholic church, but I respect that is not within their beliefs. So, if I am at a Catholic service/wedding, I just stay in my seat. I realize I could go up and receive a blessing, but I feel less awkward staying seated.
If you're not Catholic or didn't ever receive first communion though, you can still go through the receiving line, you would just cross your arms over your chest when it's your turn and the priest will give you a blessing instead of the Eucharist.
That's how I always saw it done - I grew up in the Church, my family is super involved, and I'm getting married in the Catholic Church next year.
I was raised Catholic, went though all the communion and confirmation, etc. I consider myself atheist. When I'd go to church as an adult (for a funeral or mass dedicated to my grandpa or something), I'd take communion. I knew my grandma would notice if I didn't.
Sorry, Catholicism. I care more about my grandma's opinion than yours.
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I don't get it.
You can not take communion for as simple a reason as missing missing Mass the week before. And from the sound of it if you said that as a reason to Grandma it's not really a lie.
To to me it's the same as hiding a speeding ticket or bad grade from my mom as a teenager. Or telling my dad I broke up with whatever guy because he lived too far away, not because he'd scared me a few times. I'm fine with it, it wasn't worth their worry.
i don't see how this is inauthentic to her own beliefs. Offensive to believers and to the church, clearly. But not necessarily to her.
I would simply avoid the issue for a while, but I finally told her the truth about my conversion to Catholicism. I could not pretend that I wasn't bothered by her comments. She was very surprised, but she also loves me and never mentioned it again.
It IS inauthentic to practice a religious ritual that is very meaningful to someone else and means nothing to you. By taking communion, you are telling others that you believe what the Catholic Church teaches. But you don't.
To me, it's no different than wearing a T-shirt that says "I love guns" when you're actually anti-gun because your Grandma is an NRA member. I'm not saying you need to tell Grandma all about your atheist beliefs. Those beliefs are personal, and you don't owe anyone an explanation. But putting on a show for Grandma isn't just offensive to other Catholics. It should be offensive to an atheist as well.
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I mean, it's inauthentic for me to ask the Walmart cashier how his day is too because I really don't particularly give a shit, but I do it to be a nice guy.
Yes I'm sure my grandma would be upset had she learned that I'm not a Catholic. But she died in January so neither of us have to worry about it and I'll never take communion again (unless of course I'm
born again).
I guess I'm more agnostic in that religion and God mean nothing to me. I just don't care. My personal religious beliefs mean the same to me as whether Pluto is a planet or what the guy down the street ate for dinner. Nothing. I'm not this proud confident atheist, so by taking one communion wafer once a decade I don't see it as surpressing or hiding something big about myself. I also wear green every once in a while when i don't like green. I'm not lying to myself about my preference for blue, I just have a green shirt.
I didnt mean to make this thread about me and although I do recognize that my participating in Eucharist is offensive, offending Catholics was never my purpose. Other than my sister, no one even knew I wasn't a Catholic in good standing when I did. I understand that doesn't make it less offensive, but I did it (literally less than half dozen times) out of love for my grandma. That's it.
There are no Athiest meetings, we don't all believe the same thing. I didn't want anything religious or referencing God at my wedding. Some Athiests go along with a church wedding to appease their spouse or families. There is no right or wrong way to be an Athiest.