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Registry and Gift Forum
Knottie1469382413
member
Honeymoon Fund Registry?
My fiance and I combined households and are trying to downsize our stuff. We're going to do a small registry for people who want to give a physical gift. We both love to travel and would like to go on a nice honeymoon before we settle down and have kids. Either way we're paying for the majority of our honeymoon (flights, hotels, rental car, etc.) up front, but I know some registries will give you a check for the overall total minus fees. We're trying to decide between doing a Honeymoon Fund Registry or just letting people assume that by doing a small registry we prefer money. Honeymoon Fund Registries charge a fee for using credit cards. Did a lot of people actually gift money using credit cards or give cash/check to avoid the fee? Did they do so through the website, or did people still just put cash/check in a card anyways? Any advice on which Registry to use if we were to do one? What other advice do you have?
I'm asking advice from Brides that are doing or has done a honeymoon registry fund. I've already done my research and know that times have changed and it's now acceptable and common to do a honeymoon fund. Yes, there are still those that think it's rude, but please don't comment if you're going to write rude comments. Thanks for understanding!
I'm asking advice from Brides that are doing or has done a honeymoon registry fund. I've already done my research and know that times have changed and it's now acceptable and common to do a honeymoon fund. Yes, there are still those that think it's rude, but please don't comment if you're going to write rude comments. Thanks for understanding!
Re: Honeymoon Fund Registry?
Stick to your plan of a small registry, and people will get the hint.
Second of all, you can't tell people how to post.
Third of all, just don't have a registry (which also means no showers). People will give you cash/checks at the wedding. Bam. Problem solved.
Plus, it is incredibly moronic to pay someone to collect money and give it to you. If your guests want to give you money, they'll put it in an envelope or card and had it to you. Letting a company take a cut of that for no reason is just plain stupid.
If you pay for something (honey fund) that you would normally get for free (cash/cheques) you are TERRIBLE with money!
honeyfunds lie to your guests, charge insane fees and percentages, and are super rude.
Dont register. ONLY when asked say 'We don't need any things, but we are saving up for a holiday'
We were generously gifted thousands of dollars without registering for money nor having to pay a single fee to a 3rd party. Our guests gave us cash or checks and we deposited them into our accounts. Easy, peasy. We also received some very thoughtful physical gifts. Some off of our registry and some off registry. Which BTW have become some of our treasured possessions.
Personally, I think people put too much time and energy into gifts they might receive. I knew I was having a shower, so we made a registry, as the entire point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts (not cash). Otherwise we didn't put much thought into potential gifts.
If you don't need anything, then don't have a shower. Registering for cash is just weird. I mean, if you don't need anything, why do you still need cash?
Maybe it's just our social groups, but we are gifts for shower, money for wedding people anyway. No need to trick people into giving us a honeymoon experience when really they are giving cash, with a fee taken out to boot.
........And then I found out that it was all boolshiz, and I didn't in fact buy them a gondola ride in Venice, but just gave them 97% of the money I spent on providing what I thought was an experience gift. I was bummed.
You don't need a registry for guests to give you money. Those who only give a physical gift will give you one regardless of a HM registry. And those who will happily give cash don't need a registry to do that.
Keep your BB&B registry small. If anyone asks you can say, "We don't really need much, but we are saving up for our honeymoon".
Really, people will get it.
And there isn't a HM registry out there that doesn't charge a fee. They are business providing a service- they are out to make money off you/your guests.
H and I were in a similar position and didn't need more stuff. We didn't register for anything. We received only a single boxed gift. We got mostly money and then a few gift certificates to restaurants/stores.
You will use the money regardless for your honeymoon. Wouldn't you rather have 100% of the money that people give over 97%? If people ask about where you are registered you can let them know that you are not registered anywhere but are saving for the upcoming honeymoon.
The idea behind them is nice; that you're treating someone to an experience they maybe wouldn't do otherwise. But I feel like that can be done just as well by giving them cash or a check and noting somewhere it's for them to do something awesome with on their honeymoon. Or if you really want to go bananas, talk to them about what they're hoping to do and gift them a gift certificate for that (purchased directly from that place, not a third party).
At least when you register for a physical gift you know you're paying the store for a specific item and it will be delivered to the intended recipient. I can't make my own stand mixer, but I can write my own check.
When one of my best friends got married my FI and I gave them a check and then wrote in the card that we hoped they would use the money towards a dinner cruse on their Honeymoon. I wanted to be able to give them an experience gift but also wanted them to have the flexibility to change their plans if needed.
If you budget, you shouldn't be counting on gift money to fund anything - it's a nice bonus.
And sure, a wedding ceremony is for the bride (and hopefully groom??) but the reception is for the guests, to host and thank them for coming to the ceremony. Getting married does not mean you can direct your friends and family to give you cash. You accept graciously whatever they give you.
I hope you feel better soon, what with all that sickness.
Jfc some people are thick as mud. So if you have 75 couples attend your wedding and give £100 per couple. and it is a 3% cut plus 3% CC fee, you just paid a company £450 to get something you would otherwise get for FREE (cash and cheques).
If you CHOOSE to spend your money on a wedding instead of a holiday, that is your issue. If a bride spent thousands on a car, would you then say she deserves a fancy trip?! Maybe that heartbroken bride should learn to live within her means.
I'd also like to see where the universe said you were entitled to luxuries, like fancy holidays and parties.
If, with everything going on in the world this week, the thought of some couple that has thousands to spend on a party and therefore can't go on a luxury honeymoon makes you sick, you have horrible priorities.
Ok done being snarky. Knottie#s, no, you aren't entitled to some grand honeymoon. If you want a honeymoon, budget so that you can afford one. Cut back on some wedding things. As an adult you have to make choices throughout life about what is important and what isn't. Start now.
No one said you have to register for anything. You will probably get a lot of cash or checks if you don't. There are always some people who prefer to give a physical gift - I am one of those people. If you don't need or want the gifts you can return them. You don't have to throw away anything.
I am also one of those people who will NEVER contribute to a honey fund or any other kind of cash gift account. I want the couple to get all the money I intend to give them not just a percentage.
Knottie2c47d43f8efd9cb0.
Also, if you're heartbroken over the fact that someone gave you gift cards and not cash you're incredibly misguided.
Yeah, about that, pay for the wedding you can afford and don't ask your guests to subsidize your wedding. It's simple. I'm having a small 25-30 person wedding. I'm not asking for cash nor having a registry. FI and I are paying for it by our lonesome as well as our own house. Isn't that amazing?
To the second bolded point:
1) You should never MAKE your guests do anything for you.
2) The idea of registering for things you may already have is to identify what may be upgraded. I'm married now for 10 years. I can tell you now that plenty of things wear out. The wedding towels aren't as soft as they once were, the sheets have been washed and some colors have faded, the duvet cover is missing a few buttons, and our pillows need to be replaced. I find it hard to believe that a couple getting married can't look for a few things to upgrade and then DONATE (NOT THROW AWAY) the items that they will no longer use.
To the third bolded point:
Are you in a same sex relationship? Why is brides not plural? If you're not in a same sex relationship then is it not the groom's wedding too?
To the fourth bolded point:
She CAN do both. A registry is for the couple getting married but you need to think of your guests when putting it together. Their finances, ease of purchase and any conflicts should come into mind when putting a registry together. I can tell you I've heard plenty of complaints around the table from family members who wonder why a bride is registering for a $40 fork and a $50 bath towel since they know that it's going to take a couple years to be able to have more than two people over for dinner or an overnight if they put such high end items on the table that they're totally out of their guests price range. Ditto goes for items that are at places your guests will not shop in (I didn't choose brick and mortar stores that weren't close to our guests) or registries that are just thinly disguised registries for cash. If you want your guests to buy these things then you DO need to think of them. These are gifts - not taxes.
Finally, to the last sentence, cut the martyr statement. If someone doesn't like what you're doing, maybe you shouldn't do it. Your statement sounds like you only want to surrounding yourself with people who will yes you to death.
That said, I usually buy a boxed gift from the registry for the shower and 90% of the time I give a cash gift for the wedding. I would never contribute my hard earned money to a honeyfund or other cash fund because I don't need a middle man to take a cut. Also, I am less likely to give cash to couples who outright solicit it.
Should you register for stuff you don't want? Of course not. But keep in mind that there are people who aren't comfortable giving cash as gifts. If you're okay with getting a few toasters or the proverbial Metal Chicken, there's no need for a registry.
Oh, and a wedding isn't for the bride. It's for the couple. It's THEIR registry, THEY register, THEY have guests, and it's THEIR wedding. You're selfish and self-centered. And YOUR post makes ME sick.